Oh, that Matt, he sucks.

The
"I Hate Matt"
Ask Us Transporter System

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    • Ask Us Volume IX, February 2002

    Miranda & Carly asks:
    Why is a raven like a writing desk?
    Volcom says:
    Lewis Carrol asked me the same stupid question. I thought about it for ages, and came up with a solution: Edgar Allan Poe his written on both ravens and writing desks. Yeah!
    Also, neither wanted to have sex with your old pal Volcomstalker.
    el seriious asks:
    i just ate my poop. if i am what i eat, how can i be what i eat if i eat what i am? it's a moot point.
    Volcom says:
    Because you've eaten what you've eaten, and if you are what you eat you eat yourself and then yourself again. But because the first time you were already eating what you are, you both become what you eat and eat what you become.
    And then you should stop eating poop.
    Trench McHench asks:
    Volcom I would like to know where you keep your secret stash of money so that I can steal all of it. Ta!
    Volcom says:
    Get out of it!
    soUL-REBEL asks:
    Why does Dork mean "a whales penis"?
    Volcom says:
    Surprising as it may seem, I'm no professional on 1990's dialect or water-mammal genetalia.
    But on the subject of words, their meanings and origins, I was hoping you could help me with what the fuck 'soUL REBEL' means?
    seriious asks:
    How heavy is your nob?
    Volcom says:
    Depends on who's weighing it.
     
    Please Note:
    I don't decide the subject matter for these questions dear, you do. I only give smart arse responses, so if you send in, or read a question and are offended by my response in some way, please send your complaints to gitfucked@whocares.i7.com.au.
    All questions are and remain © of the I Hate Matt Dimension after submision.
    "Ask Us" is produced and recorded in front of a live, studio audience, Bronson K Volcomstalker speaking.

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