Oh, that Matt, he sucks.

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    • Ask Us Volume XVII, November 2002

    Twinkle Twist asks:
    My nipple turned purple and then it fell off. Bronson, how do you suppose this happened? And Matt, which nipple was it?
    Volcom says:
    Dear God, what a great question.
    Nipples turning purple is actually quite a common occurance - in fact it's happened to me three times. What's usually the case behind an enlarged, purple nipple is build up of the blood and mucous found in the breast clotting at the nipple. If this isn't treated, by either getting a good suckin' or rubbing with a lemon quarter, it could fall off - which is what happened to you.
    Don't worry, most nipples grow back, and the difference between it and the old one will be indistinguishable. Of course, it will be lighter in colour, and if treated right, will stay as such.
    And Matt says he 'hopes it was the right one', whatever that means.
    drip asks:
    Why does matt write in pink?
    Matt says:
    Well why do you think? Go fuck yourself, I'm sick of this shit.
    k asks:
    matt would you go out with an amputee?
    Matt says:
    That all depends. I probably wouldn't go bike riding with her, but other than that I can't really see why not.
    Did you know people with a fetish for amputees are called 'Devotees'? That is pretty weird.
    Spike "Flamingbattle" asks:
    Hey Bronson, why don't you fuck off?
    Volcom says:
    Spike, you used to be cool. Remember the time we stayed up all night drinking your parents cask wine and listening to Michael Jackson? And then you got up and danced like Michael Jackson, and I started cheering you on and stuff? I remember it so well now, even though it was after two boxes of Golden Gate, and I'd already pissed my pants.
    In fact, I told you I just pissed my pants, and you laughed that you'd already pissed your pants a few hours earlier, before we even started drinking.
    That's how cool you once were.
    Now you can't even manage to lend me $20 to spend on fried chicken. And worse than that, you've stopped giving me headies nightly.
    So I'm going to say it, Spike.
    What the fuck happened to you?
    Karen N. Sharon asks:
    Bronson would you like a hug or a cup of tea or something?
    Volcom says:
    Cup o' Dilmah, thanks.
     
    Please Note:
    I don't decide the subject matter for these questions dear, you do. I only give smart arse responses, so if you send in, or read a question and are offended by my response in some way, please send your complaints to gitfucked@whocares.i7.com.au.
    All questions are and remain © of the I Hate Matt Dimension after submision.
    "Ask Us" is produced and recorded in front of a live, studio audience, Bronson K Volcomstalker speaking.

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