I wonder asks: If i give you six chicken and then a day later i take six how many chickens do i have? Volcom says: You know I can't be bothered with that shit. Go away. Dr. Dan, PhD. Stupidololgy asks: E = mc^2 is not Einstein's theory of relativity you dumb shit, it's the equation used to quantitatively express mass as energy and vice versa. It has no-goddamn-thing to do with rela-shitting-tivity, why are you so fucking dumb? Volcom says: Yeah ok, this is the second complaint I've had about this in the two hours since I put it up. (Read Ask Us Vol. 13 for the answer in question). My knowledge of physics is very brief, and goes no farther than that learned from watching 'Young Einstein' in Grade Two. However, it's my duty to keep The I Hate Matt Dimension full of up to date facts and accurate information. So, I hired part-time dirt KingPin and full-time physics whiz kid Lachie Marshall to resolve this trivial matter. He says, "As it says in the back of my physics textbook, the theory of relativity actually revolves around time distillation due to light speed, and has very little whatsoever to do with E=mc². As Dan says, E=mc² is the formula used to represent mass as energy and vice-versa. And also, someone scribbled 'Volcomstalker is fucking dumb' on the contents page of my physics textbook." Looks like Dr. Dan triumphs again! My butt is itchy asks: Is it true many with itchy butt, have smelly finger? Volcom says: God, why would you ask that? "Fire Spikestorm" asks: Dear Matt, Why is Bronson K such a fat cunt? Matt says: Quite honestly I really don't know. Maybe it has something to do with his fried chicken obsession? Or his tendancy to do nothing but sit on his arse all day and invite people to write horrendous stories about me? Either way he is a fool and a braggart. Bryce Author asks: Did I win the fan fiction competition? I think my tale was rather good. Volcom says: You'll find out soon Bryce, just give it time. If the lazy arsewipes reading this sent me some God-damn emails saying who they think should win, maybe it would all be a litle easier, but as I said they're all dumb shits.   Please Note: I don't decide the subject matter for these questions dear, you do. I only give smart arse responses, so if you send in, or read a question and are offended by my response in some way, please send your complaints to gitfucked@whocares.i7.com.au. All questions are and remain © of the I Hate Matt Dimension after submision. "Ask Us" is produced and recorded in front of a live, studio audience, Bronson K Volcomstalker speaking.

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