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Azure Version
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Azure
Archives
Azure Version
Poké Battles Records
These records are incredibly confusing (and more than likely inaccurate). Some generalised points on who gets a record, etc.:
~ Participating, independent 'trainers' in Azure Version
~ Name/Title:
wins-losses-draws (only 'normal' battles count)
Last participation
~ Dead - grey-coloured records
~ Categories - 'Main Characters' make notable contribution/s to Azure Version's storyline &/or tend to have battles centre on them. Characters not in this category - similar in status to each other, divided into 'Minor Characters' & 'Other Characters' (depends on record). (Note the potential for them to move to different categories.)
'Main' Characters
Anarchy:
1-0-0
F#1
Ash:
1-0-0
25
Brock: 0-3-0 (15)
DEMY (Ex-Alliance):
0-1-1
29
D Narrator - #1, #2, #3, #4:
0-0-0
30
Dragonday:
6-2-0
29
Evil Eevee: 0-2-0 (7)
Ex-Narrator:
3-1-0
17
Fred:
4-7-0
29
Gary: 0-1-0 (15)
Janice:
4-1-3
27
LL: 2-2-0 (16)
Misty:
0-0-0
25
Narrator/Polly Tishan:
4-0-0
30
Pikachu:
0-0-0
31
Pinsir:
0-0-1
21
Rustepi:
13-1-0
17
Silkster: 1-2-0 (9)
Snap:
0-0-1
31
Tim:
1-4-2
29
Togepi:
0-0-1
31
T Script:
0-1-0
30
TV Narrator:
0-2-0
29
Velvet:
0-1-0
28
Webmistress/Lil:
7-5-1
30
Weedle:
2-1-1
29
'Minor' Characters (Other characters who've battled)
AJ, 1-HP:
0-1-0
18
Antonia:
0-0-1
27
BC #1 and #2:
1-0-0
19
Bike:
1-1-0
12
Bomb:
0-1-0
7
Bug Catchers: 0-1-0 (15)
Buggo: 0-1-0 (15)
Class:
0-1-0
4
ClefPKMN: 0-1-0 (16)
Cocky: 0-1-0 (13)
Company Rep:
1-0-0
5
Computer:
0-1-0
19
Costello, Mr:
0-0-1
26
Counsellor:
1-0-0
24
Deathguards:
1-3-0
5
Distance:
1-0-0
6
Door:
1-0-0
28
Dust:
0-1-0
16
Extra-Curricular Coordinator:
0-1-0
24
Flint:
1-1-0
14
George:
0-1-0
29
Giant Alarm Clock:
0-1-0
9
GOP:
1-0-0
8
Guy:
0-0-1
28
Howard, Mr:
0-0-1
26
Joyce, Nurse:
1-1-0
11
Keith:
0-0-1
22
Leech:
0-1-0
14
Lime Stone, Miss:
0-0-1
28
Microsoft (Pokédex, IE, etc.):
1-1-0
23
Morning Tea:
0-1-0
22
Mouse:
1-0-0
19
Mrs Kairer:
0-1-0
22
Myra:
1-1-0
24
Officer Jennifer -
#1(Jen),
#2,
#3,
#4,
#5,
#6:
5-6-0
18
Poké Ball:
0-1-0
21
RSACi (Cloud, Hand):
3-0-0
29
RSPCA:
0-1-0
6
Sam:
0-1-0
12
School Captain:
0-0-1
24
Seymour: 0-1-0 (12)
Splinter:
0-1-0
30
SSS:
0-1-0
17
Stars:
1-0-0
18
Teacher:
1-0-0
4
Tree:
0-1-0
26
Venomleech:
0-1-0
14
VRs:
0-1-0
F#1
Weed:
0-2-0
12
Wishbone:
0-1-0
30
Zubat:
1-0-1
12
Other Characters (Other characters who haven't battled)
Computer Mouse:
0-0-0
19
Birds:
0-0-0
12
Elfin:
0-0-0
8
Fanny:
0-0-0
26
Geodud:
0-0-0
29
Greenie:
0-0-0
26
Kids:
0-0-0
22
Lamp:
0-0-0
28
Member#2 (Team):
0-0-0
24
Moth:
0-0-0
19
Oak, Prof.: 0-0-0 (F#1)
Pill Bottle:
0-0-0
29
Roy:
0-0-0
26
Sister (Lil's):
0-0-0
24
Wood, Prof.:
0-0-0
21
Year 3 #1 - #6:
0-0-0
28
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Game Text
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Player Text
/
Secondary Player
/
Sounds
Backtrack:
The Narrator is finally back in HQ - and has spent the past few weeks (apparently) recovering from the traumatic experience. What she hasn't realised is that during this time, another character has been waiting...
Battle #31: Census. Be In It.
August 19, 2001
Setting:
Field of Nothingness
Player: Weirdo (With a Camera)
[Record: none]
About time! What does it take to get some SERVICE around here?!
What's with this MOTH and SILVERFISH infestation?!
HELLO?
Stupid WEBMISTRESS; had 1½ WEEKS between last BATTLE and the end of her HOLIDAYS and does she clean up
HQ?
NO!
Do I have to stick this stupid POKÉMON MASK on to get any ATTENTION?
What other IDIOT could get a BUILDING without a FLOOR so messed-up?
Okay, maybe someone will notice these EYEHOLES cutting into my FACE!
Unless the latest in HOME DECORATING is having a MACHINE hanging off a CURTAIN ROD, holding a RADIO and some old NEWSPAPERS, all of which have suffered INSECT DAMAGE...
EXCUSE ME, I LOOK LIKE A FOOL AND BLOOD'S GETTING INTO MY EYES!
FWAP
X_X
That's for yelling so rudely in the middle of the NIGHT!
The things I have to do for SERVICE - OW!
WHO INVENTED FLIMSY ELASTIC?
NARRATOR finally gets a glimpse of WEIRDO's real FACE - ew, keep that MASK on!
... I'll pretend I didn't hear that.
NARRATOR SAID THAT WEIRDO WILL LOOK BETTER WITH THE MASK ON!
Be grateful I just wanna get outta here ASAP.
WEIRDO has absolutely no IDEA how deeply appreciative NARRATOR is!
... In accordance with this place's POLICY, register the following COMPLAINTS:
- This COMPANY obviously can't find a more decent EMPLOYEE to handle HUMAN RELATIONS!
- I have waited to make my original COMPLAINT for TWO WEEKS!
- Which was that the three EPISODES in which I feature were CUT OUT FROM THE LATEST RE-RUN OF THE TV SERIES!!!
Oh, WEIRDO is the LOOPY KID!
Player: Snap
Don't even think about referring to me using that TITLE! I am TODD, the world-famous POKÉMON PHOTOGRAPHY MASTER!
... And NARRATOR is expected to bow?
That'd be an appropriate way to introduce yourself.
...
Does SNAP seriously think NARRATOR bows to CHARACTERS?
Are you suggesting I'm stupid?!
And that's why SNAP will always be known as SNAP!
I SHALL NOT HAVE PEOPLE MESSING WITH MY NAME JUST BECAUSE THEY LIVE IN THE WRONG PLACE!
TODD was brutally murdered with LAND MINES, ATOMIC BOMBS and sharpened BLADES of GRASS!
Next RESOLUTION?
... SNAP it is. Now are you gonna register my COMPLAINTS so we can both leave and forget the other existed?
NARRATOR must note that the natural STEP after registering CHARACTERS' COMPLAINTS is TORTURE and MURDER!
And not necessarily in that order!
Typical MULTINATIONAL COMPANY... Stuck-up BUSINESS SUITS in it for the CASH...
NARRATOR wishes!
If AZURE VERSION was like that, NARRATOR might get her own OFFICE!
With a FLOOR!
You mean I'm not at NINTENDO's HEAD OFFICE?
'And the poor misguided CREATURE finally had a REVELATION that, in fact, PEOPLE can not fly simply by jumping off ROOFS...'
But I told the E-TAXI that I wanted to see the NARRATOR of the POKÉMON TV SERIES!
Hey, NARRATOR just got an IDEA!
...
I don't have much FAITH in an IDEA expressed in three DOTS.
ASSUMING YOU'VE REGAINED CONSCIOUSNESS, MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL AND GET RID OF THESE BUGS!
Maybe I'll just take another look at the PHOTO of me in the 'POKÉMON TIMES'... Wow, look at the QUALITY... Thanks to my natural TALENT, of course...
Talk about fast - But please KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT WHILE CHEWING!
I can't believe how much this PICTURE improves every time I look at it! : )
NARRATOR can't believe SNAP can still see through all that BLOOD!
I can't believe I've wasted so much time here! I'm calling the E-TAXI!
But NARRATOR still needs to find a way to thank SNAP for his ignored CONCERNS!
You're welcome whatever WHERE'S A PUBLIC PHONE WHEN YOU NEED ONE?
***STOP PRESS: THE FIELD OF NOTHINGNESS HAS NOTHING OF ANY IMPORTANCE IN IT. THIS HAPPENS TO INCLUDE MUCH-NEEDED PUBLIC PHONE BOOTHS.***
Besides, NARRATOR has decided to thank SNAP by restoring him to regular HEALTH and giving him a ROLE apart from CHEMICAL WASTE DISPOSAL UNIT!
Uh, I don't cooperate with STRANGE GROWN-UPS -
Setting:
Route 4
Player: Pikachu
[Record: none]
NARRATOR switches to AUTO-TRANSLATION MODE in the hope that no-one will have to hear PIKACHU's repetitive
VOICE!
Now someone actually understands me, could you kindly slice up EGGFACE?
TOGEPI:
Watch it, FAT RAT - I'm carnivorous and you know what else?
You taste best in MEATLOAF?
TOGEPI:
I can hypnotise anyone into going ^_^ every time I enter their PRESENCE, and when they least expect it - CHOMP!
You think I'm afraid of a toothless INFANT with TRIANGLES for ARMS and isn't even sure it has FEET under its fat
BELLY?
TOGEPI:
At least I haven't got a NOSE which gets itchy and can't be scratched 'cause your ARMS are too short!
I don't try to scratch my NOSE you freak of a CUTE THING - I succeed in scratching my CHIN.
TOGEPI:
Which one?
TOGEPI should talk; considering it hasn't even got a NECK - BTW, TOGEPI isn't related to RUSTEPI, is it?
TOGEPI:
Yeah, apparently it had a hard time here. I was trying to avoid this PLACE myself but UNSOLD PINCUSHION here wanted to go and find its precious little TRAINER!
You know I'm just trying to find that KID with the SCRIBBLES on his FACE so I can fry him for the MAIN COURSE! You're only s'posed to be an ENTRÉE!
... So why are PIKACHU and TOGEPI together when both know the other wants to eat them?
TOGEPI:
Because he owes me a BIKE - HEY, WHO WROTE IN THAT STUPID EXCUSE?
If you must know, I don't want to prepare the ENTRÉE so that it's cold before the MAIN COURSE is
ready.
TOGEPI:
And I'm waiting to grow TEETH.
Much as NARRATOR enjoys listening to PIKACHU and TOGEPI verbally tear each other apart, she isn't writing an OVERNIGHT BATTLE to watch the STORYLINE go nowhere!
What STORYLINE?
See?
I don't understand your PURPOSE in all this, but we're not doing anything just to please you.
TOGEPI:
I'll please this NARRATOR-voice if that's what it'll take to either get TEETH or have you minced!
I refuse to waste any more time yelling at my MEAL!
TOGEPI:
And since you've effectively provoked a BATTLE, I go first! : b
TOGEPI wants to fight!
TOGEPI sent out TOGEPI!
I SHALL SILENCE YOU, FOUL EGG!
PIKACHU sent out PIKACHU!
TOGEPI used NITPICK!
TOGEPI:
You call me 'foul', yet want to eat me. Why is that?
TOGEPI is covered in NITS and LICE to prove the POINT!
Me, use SAME OLD STORY!
PIKACHU used SAME OLD STORY!
PEOPLE may wonder why an innocent-looking PIKACHU would act so OOC and develop a TASTE for RED MEAT. To them I say 'Have you not noticed the HINTS in the SERIES'?
- You see me chewing APPLES. They always have RED SKIN.
- You see me eating KETCHUP. Not only is it RED, SCRIBBLE KID's SURNAME 'KETCHUM' bears a striking resemblance to the WORD.
- Why do you think they allow MEOWTH to speak, while I must say my NAME over and over? They can not allow me to express my bloodthirsty INTENTIONS before they squeeze every last drop of COMMERCIAL INTEREST out of me.
o_O;; NARRATOR wonders if there's such a thing as TWISTED POKÉMON OVERKILL...
TOGEPI:
Ramble on all you like YOUR PIENESS, but that STORY washed right over my HEAD!
SAME OLD STORY washed over TOGEPI!
TOGEPI is sparkling clean!
Thanks to TOOTHPASTE! Remember to ingest it to increase your chances of missing SCHOOL! [Note: No-one in AZURE VERSION will be liable for the CONSEQUENCES of following COMMERCIAL ADVICE.]
Pass me a TOOTHBRUSH NARRATOR-voice; then I can brush my TEETH once and for all.
TOGEPI:
I see you are siding with the INSANE 'CHU - not that it's the RODENT's fault; it's just unfortunate that it wound up in the possession of the BRAINLESS ONE.
NARRATOR didn't even reply to PIKACHU's REQUEST yet!
TOGEPI:
Your use of the WORD 'TOOTHPASTE' was intentionally directed at the FACT that I am yet to cut TEETH, and led to the sickening ANALOGY put forward by PIKA CHU. I'll have you carted before the ANTI-DISCRIMINATION BOARD and publicly humiliated, mark my WORDS!
You dare to take two consecutive TURNS? You dare to cause my next MOVE to slip from the CONSCIOUS
MIND?!
TOGEPI:
Why not?
... My THROAT'S hurting even more than before. How 'bout we do something we both agree on for once?
TOGEPI:
Murder SCRIBBLE KID and SCRAWNY? WHY DO YOU THINK I'M HELPING YOU LOOK FOR THEM?
I mean we'll practice on the NARRATOR-voice first!
TOGEPI:
What's the use of killing something we can't even eat?
NARRATOR would kill both PIKACHU and TOGEPI now if she hadn't paid a full DAY's DEPOSIT to hire the
AUTO-TRANSLATOR!
TOGEPI:
Oh yeah, the 'for the fun of it' LINE!
NARRATOR watches PIKACHU and TOGEPI whisper to each other...
(:-& NARRATOR isn't waking up bleary-eyed in a few HOURS to find herself murdered by CUTE-LOOKING POKÉMON!
Player: Snap
[Record: 0-0-0] Last seen: earlier, trying hopelessly to leave
SNAP just happened to have walked into the SCENE and felt like separating the sneaky POKÉMON!
I did not - HEY, DON'T CLAMP ONTO MY HANDS AND DRIBBLE LIKE THAT!
PIKACHU:
It's called INSTINCT - FLESH in MOUTH, MOUTH go CHOMP.
TOGEPI:
Excuse my crude COMPANION here, but it's trying to say that you should know better than to venture into the WORLD of CARNIVOROUS CREATURES.
Weird - Aren't you ASH's and MISTY's POKÉMON?
PIKACHU:
And you're that stupid KID with the CAMERA; no need to say any REUNION LINES. Suffice to say that if you point that CAMERA at me again, I'll chew the LENS off. I'm not just talking 'bout the CAMERA's, either.
I think I liked you better when all you said was 'Pika, pikachu'.
PIKACHU:
Of course... PEOPLE never like to hear the TRUTH, but what they want to believe is TRUTH.
TOGEPI:
You stole that LINE off me!
PIKACHU:
Dream on! You wouldn't have the BRAINS to think that up with all that LIQUID floating around inside you!
TOGEPI:
It's better than nothing, which is what certain POKÉMON have!
*poke poke*
Er... Aymon aymon?
>_<
SNAP is supposed to make himself useful, or risk being inflicted with NARRATOR's WRATH! (Or the equivalent of it)
My LIFE must be cursed... I'm SNAP, official CENSUS COLLECTOR for AZURE VERSION. I just need to know a few things -
PIKACHU:
I smell a RAT in this rehearsed SPEECH. What's the PURPOSE of this CENSUS?
TOGEPI:
That's what you get when you don't have regular SHOWERS.
PIKACHU:
I wasn't looking for your WISDOM, O FRIED ONE.
I said the CENSUS is being conducted because all MEMBERS of the WEBSITE COUNCIL are getting busier, and need a practical way to violate what little PRIVACY the CHARACTERS currently have. Now -
TOGEPI:
My turn! What happens if we don't wanna cooperate?
The MOODY WEBMISTRESS gets TOGEPI TART and MINCED PIKACHU SAUSAGE delivered to her PLACE TOMORROW!
*yawn* - I don't recall saying anything along the lines of 'MOODY'!
TOGEPI:
So just ask us the bare minimum and get outta our way. I'm not going to be watched by a NARRATOR any longer than I have to
be.
PIKACHU:
If we were being paid and got instant FAME it'd be different, obviously. Especially if all I had to do was rip your HEAD off and suck your GUTS out.
I can't believe I'm trembling in front of two POKÉMON who are only about ¼ my size...
'What is the CHARACTER's RELATIONSHIP with CHARACTER 1/CHARACTER 2?' PIKACHU?
PIKACHU:
You'd better not be implying anything risqué...
Just say why you're stuck with TOGEPI.
PIKACHU:
MORTAL ENEMIES, bound by HATE and the HOPE that I shall consume it in the near future.
'Kay... TOGEPI?
TOGEPI:
Same, but I'll devour the FURRY CREATURE before it devours me.
PIKACHU:
Over my dead BODY!
TOGEPI:
Exactly!
PIKACHU:
... Eggsactly?
TOGEPI:
...
'What is the CHARACTER's ANCESTRY?' PIKACHU?
PIKACHU:
Captured by either evil or pathetic HUMANS.
What about you, TOGEPI?
TOGEPI:
Extinct.
PIKACHU:
Egg -
TOGEPI:
I think I feel a TOOTH growing.
PIKACHU:
You think that'll stop me having the final LINE?
Almost done, thankfully... Fill in 'AMATEUR MURDERERS' for 'OCCUPATION' and 'RAW MEAT' for 'INCOME'... 'What is the CHARACTER's RELIGION?' PIKACHU?
PIKACHU:
Almighty Webmasterism! AND MAY THAT PROTECT ME FROM FURTHER PERSECUTION!
Wish I knew how to join... TOGEPI?
TOGEPI:
I'm a Jedi! MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU!
I've been warned about that - I can't write that down. Maybe I'll just put you down for 'Worshipper of the Moon Stone'?
TOGEPI:
You're not taking me seriously, are you?
Well who d'you think I'll fear more; the NARRATOR or a grouchy EGG?
TOGEPI:
COWER BEFORE MY MIGHTY LIGHT WORD-WHICH-MUSTN'T-BE-SAID!
You mean a LIGHT...STICK-THING?
TOGEPI:
GRRRRR! YOU HAVE UTTERED THE WORD WHICH MUSTN'T BE SAID! YOUR FATE IS DEATH!
But it's not called a STICK-THING -
TOGEPI:
TTTOOOGGGEEEPPPIII!!!
TOGEPI wants to fight!
TOGEPI sent out TWIG!
TOGEPI:
It's a LIGHT -
TWIG was renamed L.S.!
What'm I s'posed to do now?!
Sending an OPPONENT out might help!
Or SNAP could just force TOGEPI to stare at his FACE!
You have no IDEA how much I'm laughing on the INSIDE.
TOGEPI:
This'll do before I get my true MEAL! L.S., use FATAL POKE!
L.S. used FATAL POKE!
It's not very effective...
TOGEPI:
WHY NOT?
Look at the SIZE of the L.S.! It's hardly strong enough to get through SNAP's ABDOMEN!
Are you implying something?
Only that SNAP is really, really FAT!
HEY!
*sigh* Why is SNAP being so paranoid about his APPEARANCE anyway?
Because when I storm back into the SERIES again, I want to outshine everyone from ASH to MISTY to BROCK
to...yeah.
TOGEPI:
L.S., try SCRATCH!
L.S. used SCRATCH!
SNAP's CAMERA screamed in agony as it watched bits of itself disappear over the LACK-OF-A HORIZON!
Keep it down - I can't get a REFUND on CAMERAS that won't shut up.
SNAP's CAMERA shut up!
And died!
Oh well, a REFUND'S a REFUND. BUT I WILL NOT BE BEATEN BY A CRACKED EGG!
TOGEPI:
L.S., try fatally poking this pathetic PUN ARTIST in the EYES!
L.S. used FATAL POKE!
L.S. doesn't even know where SNAP's EYES are!
Can I send out myself and use JUMP?
SNAP sent out SNAP!
SNAP used JUMP!
SNAP jumped on L.S.!
L.S. was...driven through SNAP's FOOT!
OWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!
Surely NARRATOR wasn't expected to use any more bad PUNS than necessary!
NARRATOR watches SNAP pull L.S. out and hop around like a tangled SLINKY!
L.S. strikes TOGEPI!
TOGEPI topples over and rolls around uncontrollably!
TOGEPI:
Gimme a HAND, CHU-GUY!
PIKACHU:
When you're about to cut a TOOTH? Do I look that gullible to you?!
TOGEPI is unable to continue battling, therefore SNAP wins -
NARRATOR can't bear doing such a thing!
NARRATOR declares a DRAW!
WHAT?!
Otherwise SNAP can just bleed until he's reduced to a MYSTERIOUS SHADOW, forever trapped within POKÉ
BATTLES!
I can't be bothered arguing anymore. I'm taking the rest of TODAY off.
Not until SNAP asks the final QUESTION!
: (
PIKACHU, do you agree to having your NAME and other INFORMATION on this FORM being kept by the VERSION ARCHIVES of AZURE and then being made publicly available after 12 MONTHS?
PIKACHU:
Is that seriously a QUESTION? *LOL*
I can't believe I'm being mocked by a PIKACHU...
PIKACHU:
What happens if a HITLER-like FIGURE takes over AZURE VERSION within the next few MONTHS and uses this INFORMATION against me? Huh? HUH?
Uh...
PIKACHU:
What if a JOURNALIST comes across my FORM and uses the INFORMATION to tarnish my REPUTATION forever? Who'll cough up the COMPENSATION?
Um...
PIKACHU:
WHAT LUNATIC WOULD HAVE ENOUGH FAITH IN THE WEBSITE COUNCIL TO ENTRUST ALL THEIR INFORMATION TO THEM, KNOWING IT WILL ONE DAY BE PLASTERED AROUND FOR ALL TO SEE?
STUFF YOUR MOUTH FULL OF DIRT, YOU CALLOUS POKÉMON! STOP ASKING QUESTIONS I CAN'T
ANSWER!
SNAP fainted!
PIKACHU:
Can I eat him?
There's no TIME for that! NARRATOR'S very tired and may mistype it so that SNAP eats PIKACHU!
PIKACHU:
Silence, NARRATOR-voice. I must clear my MIND from the clutter of this BATTLE through MEDITATION... Focus on breathing ...and eating... Breathing... Eating... Now my NOSE is itching MAKE ONE SOUND AND YOU SHALL BE PUNCTURED EVIL EGGOID...
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