Azure Version: Battles 9 and 10

Backtrack: The Narrator hasn't been seen since before Christmas, and since Battle 8, the Webmaster has been annoyed endlessly by Brock. As the time for the weekly update draws near, the Webmaster has to hurry to get Azure Version organised.

Battle #9: Here, There, Everywhere December 29, 2000
Setting: Azure Version
Player: Fred [Record: 1-3-0] Last seen: #7, escaping Rust-Shelled Togepi of Horror/Narrator

FRED and WEEDLE are hiding in a CAVE!
WEBMASTER never realised one existed in AZURE VERSION!
AUGGH! WE'RE GONNA BE STRUCK DEAD ON THE SPOT!
WEBMASTER believes FRED has not realised that it's been over 2 WEEKS since the last battle he featured in took place!
AUGGH! A BIG BOOMING VOICE!
WEBMASTER can see it's going to be a looong day!
WEBMASTER made WEEDLE attack FRED with POISON STING!
OWWW!!!...Huh? Isn't the NARRATOR supposed to be here?
WEBMASTER hasn't heard of NARRATOR since it escaped from HQ last week!
WEBMASTER asks FRED if he knows where NARRATOR has gone!
Considering you're supposed to know everything that goes on around here, if you don't know where the NARRATOR is, how would a lowly, unimportant CHARACTER like myself know?
SHUT UP!
WEBMASTER is in no mood for GROVELLING!
Wow, you must be mad.
NARRATOR is going to be in BIG TROUBLE when it returns!
BROCK has been ANNOYING WEBMASTER since LAST WEEK!
WEBMASTER IS ABOUT TO GO INSANE!
I think I know why the NARRATOR hasn't returned...
GOLF-BALL-SIZED HAILSTONE dropped onto FRED!
OWWWWW!!!!! Now I'm poisoned and have a giant bump on my head...
WEBMASTER realised that AZURE VERSION has to be updated by TOMORROW!
WEBMASTER cursed its situation!
You could just end this battle now and let me have some peace, you know.
FORGET IT!
WEBMASTER has to start getting things done!
Does FRED know where TIM and DRAGONDAY have gone?
From the way things are going, I wish I did know.
FRED IS USELESS!
LARGE TELEPORT TILE appeared under FRED and WEEDLE!
Hey, what the @#$%& - Where are we goin - Can't I at least have some ANTIDOT -
FRED and WEEDLE were teleported to an undisclosed location!
WEBMASTER left to get other things done!

Player: Tim [Record: 1-3-0] Last seen: #7, chasing Fred and Weedle

WEBMASTER has finally found TIM and DRAGONDAY!
Fast asleep!!!
How could anyone be lazy enough to be fast asleep now?!
WEBMASTER sent out GIANT ALARM CLOCK!
GIANT ALARM CLOCK wants to fight!
*yawn* Can't...I...have...a break from...PokéBattles?...I've been...running...and running...for ages...and I just...want a...short nap...
GIANT ALARM CLOCK used VERY LOUD RING!
GIANT ALARM CLOCK is RINGING VERY LOUDLY!
It's super effective!
TIM and DRAGONDAY woke up!
They attacked in a grumpy rage!
I can't comment on that line 'cause I'm gonna smash this @#$%& ALARM CLOCK! Go, me!
WEBMASTER never realised GIANT was a swear word!
Oh well!
TIM sent out TIM!
DRAGONDAY sent out DRAGONDAY!
Me, use SMASH!
TIM used SMASH!
TIM smashed the GIANT ALARM CLOCK...with his bare fist!
It doesn't affect GIANT ALARM CLOCK!
What?!
It's a GIANT ALARM CLOCK!
TIM was hit with recoil!
OW!
DRAGONDAY used SURF!
Huh?
DRAGONDAY went surfing with GIANT ALARM CLOCK!
This is getting really pathetic - Hey, wait for me!
TIM is chasing after DRAGONDAY and GIANT ALARM CLOCK!
WEBMASTER didn't search for TIM and DRAGONDAY to lose them again!
WEBMASTER brought the TIDE back in!
DRAGONDAY and GIANT ALARM CLOCK are surfing back towards TIM!
Good, I seem to be catching up with the wave at last - HEELLPP!!
TIM is running and looking for somewhere to hide!
There's nowhere to hide around here!
Darn -
TIM is caught in the SURF!
I DON'T WANNA DROWN!
WEBMASTER normally wouldn't care much if TIM drowned...but WEBMASTER needs the battle to go for longer!
WEBMASTER pulled out AZURE VERSION PLUG!
'Pleease come to my site! I need more people to visit!'
The wave disappeared down the DRAIN!
WEBMASTER placed the PLUG back in reluctantly!
*glug*
GIANT ALARM CLOCK isn't waterproof!
GIANT ALARM CLOCK fainted!
DRAGONDAY wins!
*glug* What about me?
Um...GIANT ALARM CLOCK and TIM tied in battle!
Hey!
Well, WEBMASTER needed a DRAW sooner or later!
Then just get a piece of PAPER, a PENCIL, and a SCANNER! Don't pick on me!
WEBMASTER hopes that line wasn't supposed to be funny!
WEBMASTER doesn't want to hear any more puns that CHARACTERS make up!
LARGE TELEPORT TILE appeared under TIM and DRAGONDAY!
Why is the WEBMASTER narrating anywa -
TIM and DRAGONDAY were teleported to an undisclosed location!
WEBMASTER is still running out of time!
WEBMASTER left in a hurry!

Player: Janice [Record: 1-1-0] Last seen: Fanfic #1, recovering from being knocked out v. Anarchy

At last! I was dying of boredom out here!
JANICE shouldn't get her hopes up!
WEBMASTER is moving around very quickly!
But I've been ignored for so long. *sniff* I've saved the world from a TREE DICTATORSHIP, but no one seems to notice and there's nowhere to go after you've reached the top...
WEBMASTER won't tolerate emotional speeches!
Besides, JANICE should know that there is somewhere to go after you've reached the top!
*sniff* Really? Tell me!
DOWN!
Oh yeah, I feel so much better now!
WEBMASTER is glad to hear that!
I WAS BEING SARCASTIC!
WEBMASTER knew that!
WEBMASTER uses SARCASM as well!
Really?
JANICE shouldn't be too SARCASTIC!
WEBMASTER will only allow so much before snapping!
You can't scare me! I have fought murderous TREES, looked BRANCHES in the eye and lived, supported the WOODCHIP and SAWDUST industries single-handedly...
JANICE is truly weird!
TREE-SHAPED STORM CLOUD appeared!
At last, something for me to do!
JANICE is trying to hack into TREE-SHAPED STORM CLOUD!
No effect!
JANICE doesn't seem to notice!
Yes I do! But with time and persistence, I SHALL TRIUMPH!
Can JANICE get any WEIRDER?
WEBMASTER sent TREE-SHAPED STORM CLOUD and JANICE to an undisclosed location!

T SCRIPT: Standby, RUST-SHELLED TOGEPI OF HORROR update...
Who invited you here?
T SCRIPT: RUST-SHELLED TOGEPI OF HORROR was shortened to RUSTEPI!
I could've done a better job than that.
T SCRIPT: Too late, I shortened the name first! BLEAAHH!
The AUTHOR'S been at it again...
T SCRIPT: RUSTEPI update: Standby, fatalities update...
If I wasn't in such a hurry, I'd TEAR THIS T SCRIPT APART!
T SCRIPT: Fatalities update interrupted!
Why?
T SCRIPT: No updates for anyone that insults a T SCRIPT! HA HA HA!
This is ridiculous! I'm the WEBMASTER!
WHACK!
T SCRIPT: Fatalities update: EVIL EEVEE, SILKSTER!
What?! This site can't afford to lose any more weird CHARACTERS!
WEBMASTER snapped out of T SCRIPT-LISTENING MODE!
WHACK!
T SCRIPT fainted!
WEBMASTER wins!
WEBMASTER left!

Player: Gary [Record: none]

Hmmm...from what I observe, this is a loser of a website!
GARY has no right to say that!
Too late, WEBMASTER, I already did!
Wait a minute!
How long has GARY been here, anyway?
Long enough to see that what you call 'battles' have no substance and aren't funny anyway!
WEBMASTER hates abstract answers!
WEBMASTER doesn't like GARY any better!
How dare you abduct me, just to take me here?! I was about to prove once and for all that I was destined to become the greatest POKÉMON MASTER ever!
WEBMASTER doesn't think being a rival of ASH gives GARY any chance of becoming the greatest POKÉMON MASTER ever!
Besides, GARY will be fun to ANNOY!
That's where you're wrong, WEBMASTER.
We'll see about that!
GARY's FACE is BRIGHT RED with FURY!
Actually, I'm very calm.
GARY's FACE is a brighter shade of RED than NARRATOR's TEXT!
Is not!
Is so!
Is not!!
Is so!!
IS NOT!!!
Now GARY's FACE really is a brighter RED than NARRATOR's TEXT!
GARY is just too easy to ANNOY!
@#$%& @#$%& @#$%&...
However, GARY doesn't exist in AZURE VERSION just to be ANNOYED!
So can I leave now?
GARY must find BROCK and ALLY with him!
You mean that pathetic former PEWTER GYM LEADER, friend of Loser ASH, and that guy who's always trying to hit on my CHEERLEADERS?
BROCK is easier to say!
I don't wanna ALLY with that weird guy! You find him and push him around!
WEBMASTER must point out two things!
One, EVERYONE around here is WEIRD to some extent, so GARY has no choice but to ALLY with BROCK!
Two, WEBMASTER has vowed never to COMMUNICATE DIRECTLY with BROCK again...unless WEBMASTER is about to kill him!
You haven't told me why there's any reason to ALLY with the BROCK guy!
WEBMASTER has explained NOTHING yet, and isn't about to!
Especially to GARY!
Are you just going to point out how much you hate me every time you say something?
GARY is exaggerating!
WEBMASTER hates that!
...
BROCK appeared!
Oh, it's you, Blind Guy.
BROCK: EVERYBODY INSULTS MY EYES!!!
Not to mention the fact that BROCK couldn't find a GIRL who liked him if his LIFE depended on it!
BROCK: Huh? THE NARRATOR'S BACK?
Haven't you been paying any attention? This is the @#$%& WEBMASTER - OW!
GARY shouldn't have told BROCK that!
BROCK: The WEBMASTER?
WEBMASTER still can't figure out how BROCK has been revived since BATTLE 8!
WEBMASTER can't stand BROCK being conscious and ANNOYING!
BROCK: I ONLY SAID I THOUGHT YOU SOUNDED CUTE!
You are desperate, aren't you?
WHY WON'T BROCK STOP ANNOYING THE WEBMASTER?
Now can you see why WEBMASTER hasn't been able to write a POKÉ BATTLE earlier this week?
Hey, I thought you vowed never to COMMUNICATE DIRECTLY with BROCK again! :-,
WEBMASTER cursed loudly!
Oh well! WEBMASTER will just have to kill BROCK!
Even if it does mess up WEBMASTER's PLAN!
BROCK: AUGGH!
BROCK allied with GARY!
WHAT?!
BROCK: If you want to kill me, you'll have to kill GARY too!
@#$%&! This isn't the way an alliance is supposed to work!
WEBMASTER would kill both BROCK and GARY...if they weren't going to go and complete a TASK which will probably kill them both anyway!
Does this mean you're finally going to explain WHAT THE @#$%& IS GOING ON?!
Oops! WEBMASTER is almost out of time!
WEBMASTER will leave GARY and BROCK to waste what BRAINS they have while they guess what TASK they're going to do!
YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO ME!
...

Player: Rustepi [Record: 2-0-0] Last battle: earlier, Win v. Silkster [Source: T Script]

WEBMASTER isn't too sure if this scene should be described!
Some younger visitors may not have very strong stomachs!
BRIIE! RUSTI RUSTI!
WEBMASTER notices that RUSTEPI is smart enough to notice a name change!
That can't be a good sign!
WEBMASTER looked at the scene again!
And is starting to feel queasy in the stomach!
RUSTI! BRIIIE!
WEBMASTER is watching RUSTEPI poke and chew through SILKSTER!
WEBMASTER is never, ever going to eat RABBIT!
If WEBMASTER keeps looking at the scene, WEBMASTER will be suffering nightmares for weeks to come!
Briie?
What is RUSTEPI asking?
WEBMASTER opened one eye very slowly...AUGGH! Stop staring at WEBMASTER!
RUSTI!
RUSTEPIwinsWEBMASTERlosesassherunsawayJUST STOP STARING AT WEBMASTER!

Setting: Undisclosed Location
Player: Fred [Record: 1-3-0] Last seen: earlier, teleported by Narrator

Ooohhh...my head hurts and I think I'm going to be sick again...
WEEDLEwantsFREDtoturnhisheadawayfromWEEDLEthistime!
WEBMASTERusedFULLRESTOREonFREDwhoisnowcompletelyhealed!
Slow down, will ya?
WEBMASTERcan'tslowdown! WEBMASTERisinabighurry!
Can you tell us where we are?
GiveWEBMASTERaminutetocalmdown!
WEBMASTERisstillrecoveringfrombeingstaredatbyRUSTEPI!
Can you tell us where we are?!
FRED doesn't have to be so impatient towards WEBMASTER!

Setting: Pallet Town - Azure Dimension

Oh, no...
WEBMASTER hopes FRED isn't about to complain!
THIS PLACE IS BORING!
What would FRED know?
Whether FRED likes it or not, he had better get used to being around here!
Do I have to ask why?
FRED's POKÉMON JOURNEY STARTS HERE!
...
Is WEBMASTER going to get a reaction at all?
There's some sort of conspiracy going on, isn't there?
What is FRED going on about? That's the sort of line WEBMASTER would expect TIM to be saying!
Surely you wouldn't leave me in a nice peaceful town, about to start a typical POKÉMON JOURNEY, to benefit me!
WEBMASTER will let FRED work things out for himself!
Don't I even get a TRAINER'S GUIDE?
WEBMASTER is holding onto that! FRED will just have to cope with WEEDLE!
This is so unfair! WEEDLE'S so small and helples - OW!
WEEDLE poked FRED in the ANKLE!
FRED shouldn't upset his POKÉMON if he knows what's good for him!
WEBMASTER is out of time!
YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME HERE ALONE WHILE I TRY TO FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON!
That's FRED's problem, not WEBMASTER's!
BTW...FRED shouldn't spend too much time trying to figure out what's going on. FRED has already slept in and is very late.
...
But I haven't even been sleeping!
...
This is the most pointless battle I've ever seen!
...
Am I talking to myself now?
...
@#$%&!!!

Backtrack: After the Narrator 'makes up' for its strange disappearance, it's time for Fred to 'start his Pokémon journey'. But in Azure Dimension, starting isn't as straightforward as pressing a few buttons.

Battle #10: Another Journey Begins January 4, 2001
Setting: Azure Version HQ
Player: Webmaster

NARRATOR sees AZURE VERSION has not been updated since LAST YEAR!
AUGGH!
NARRATOR sees that it has not been updated since LAST CENTURY!
AUGGH!
NARRATOR sees that it has not been updated since LAST MILLENIUM!
STOP YELLING!
NARRATOR just wanted to prove that it's back!
What's more, NARRATOR isn't about to write a LECTURE into this battle!
Well, considering you've been missing since before Christmas, you may as well make up for it now!
If WEBMASTER would simply stop talking, NARRATOR will make up for it!
NARRATOR has an idea!
?
AZURE WEBMASTER was renamed AZURE WEBMISTRESS!

Player: Webmistress

...
What does WEBMISTRESS think?
If you think that's going to make up for running away like that for almost TWO WEEKS, you are -
If WEBMISTRESS is going to be like that, NARRATOR will throw in an bonus change!
SECONDARY PLAYER TEXT was changed from THIS COLOUR to THIS COLOUR!
Now WEBMISTRESS has to agree that NARRATOR has made up for everything!
This is the biggest waste of -
NARRATOR is glad WEBMISTRESS has forgiven it!
NARRATOR will now get back to doing its humble duty!
...
*sigh* Why does this site always seem to get the strangest NARRATORS...

Setting: Pallet Town - Azure Dimension/Game
Player: Fred [Record: 1-3-0] Last seen: #9, trying to understand what was happening

'Home, home on the range,
Where the deer and the -'
NARRATOR is trying to resist the urge to strangle FRED!
And unless FRED STOPS making such a TERRIBLE NOISE, NARRATOR will give in and strangle him!
Well if you came back earlier, I wouldn't have had to sit here and sing!
FRED wasn't singing!
FRED was failing miserably in an attempt to sing!
So isn't it time for me to do something else yet?
No!
FRED needs to be picked on some more!
NARRATOR has missed picking on CHARACTERS!
Picking on INDIVIDUALS of EQUAL STATUS isn't the same - it's a lot more dangerous!
Serves you right.
NARRATOR was SERVED RIGHT!
NARRATOR sent SERVE RIGHT back to FRED!
FRED got SERVE RIGHT back!
That wasn't very funny.
SERVE wants to fight!
As if.
Why does FRED have to keep saying things that don't make sense?!
SERVE used BODY SLAM!
SERVE slammed itself into FRED!
Darn. SERVE only slammed into FRED's FOOT.
THAT'S THE SAME FOOT MY @#$%& WEEDLE has been poking ALL WEEK!
In that case, NARRATOR feels better!
I DON'T!
Why should NARRATOR care?
Eck, NARRATOR is tired of picking on FRED.
Finally!
For now!
...
SERVE fainted!
NARRATOR wins!
That's not fair!
LIFE isn't meant to be FAIR!
NARRATOR returned FRED to reasonably good health!
Can I get out of here now?
NARRATOR can't defy the wishes of the WEBMISTRESS!
NARRATOR needs to stay on WEBMISTRESS' GOOD SIDE!
I don't believe this...
WEEDLE wants to be paid more attention!
So that's what you've been squeaking about all week?
WEEDLE resents its means of COMMUNICATION being referred to as SQUEAKING!
WEEDLE thinks SQUEAKING implies that everything it says is pointless!
NARRATOR hopes FRED understands WEEDLE's ENGLISH more than NARRATOR can!
Squeaking or whatever, you're making me look stupid!
FRED sent out POKÉ BALL!
WEEDLE, return!
WEEDLE is CLAUSTROPHOBIC!
WEEDLE will DIE of FEAR if it has to spend most of its LIFE in a POKÉ BALL!
It's either your life or my sanity, and I know what I prefer! WEEDLE, return!
NARRATOR thinks that FRED is HEARTLESS!
And you're not?
NARRATOR is supposed to be HEARTLESS!
Shut up and let me concentrate on getting WEEDLE!
WEEDLE is wriggling away at an amazingly fast rate!
Hey, COME BACK!
POKÉ BALL used RED BEAM WHICH TRANSFERS ANY POKÉMON IN ITS PATH INTO ITS POKÉ BALL!
Otherwise known as ZAP!
Its attack missed!
WHAT?! You lengthened the name of that attack to give WEEDLE time to get away, didn't you?
NARRATOR doesn't like being told by CHARACTERS to SHUT UP!
Humph.
WEEDLE continues to wriggle away at an amazingly fast rate!
POKÉ BALL used ZAP!
Its attack missed!
POKÉ BALL used ZAP!
Its attack missed!
POKÉ BALL doesn't like being humiliated!
POKÉ BALL forfeits the battle!
Tell me POKÉ BALLS don't have feelings.
Okay! POKÉ BALLS don't have feelings!
...
POKÉ BALL loses!
WEEDLE wins and has escaped under the DOOR to OAK'S LAB! Yay!
At least I know where WEEDLE is now...
FRED walked up to the DOOR to OAK'S LAB!
And right into it!
OWWW!
NARRATOR couldn't resist saying that!
You don't have any self-control!
NARRATOR could if it wanted to!
You're going to make this DOOR attack me when I try to open it!
Not if NARRATOR doesn't want to!
FRED opened the DOOR to OAK'S LAB!
DOOR opened with no problems!
FRED walked into OAK'S LAB!
HA! NARRATOR does have self-control!
HA HA HA HA HA!
NARRATOR demands to know what's so funny!
That was too easy! I'm inside, WEEDLE'S here, and I haven't even been hurt!
...
DOOR fell over!
On top of FRED!
FRED was flattened by the DOOR!
...
DOOR wins!
NARRATOR may not have SELF-CONTROL, but EVERYTHING-ELSE-CONTROL makes up for it!

Setting: Oak's Lab (Pallet Town) - Azure Dimension/Game
Player: Tim [Record: 1-3-1] Last battle: #9, Draw v. Giant Alarm Clock

Huh? DRAGONDAY, did you slam the DOOR when you came in?
DRAGONDAY insists it didn't do anything wrong!
DRAGONDAY points out to TIM that WEEDLE has appeared!
Huh? You mean a WEEDLE, or...
WEEDLE says it was trying to escape FRED, who was cruelly trying to force it into a POKÉ BALL!
Thanks for translating.
Is TIM being SARCASTIC?!
Huh? I just thanked you!
NARRATOR does not think that was sincere!
Do you think that every polite thing that's said is SARCASTIC?!
NARRATOR isn't going to bother thinking of an answer!
NARRATOR will pretend nothing was said!
WEEDLE wants to get back to the subject!
WEEDLE doesn't want to be FRED's POKÉMON anymore!
Where is FRED, anyway? Probably still running like mad from EVIL EEVEE...
NARRATOR suggests that TIM should look at the DOOR, which is on the FLOOR!
What's so interesting about that?
Can't TIM see that there is a dent in the DOOR?
Now I think about it, I don't remember seeing a dent in the DOOR when I came in...DRAGONDAY, did you knock the DOOR with your TAIL or something?
DRAGONDAY wants TIM to stop accusing it of damaging the DOOR!
FRED: Is anyone going to help get this DOOR off me or are you going to watch me die...
We may as well rescue FRED. DRAGONDAY, you'd better use -
DRAGONDAY says it will use whatever it likes!
DRAGONDAY picked up the DOOR and threw it out!
FRED: Thanks, DRAGONDAY. Hey, you could still be my POKÉMON if you want - OW!
NARRATOR doesn't want that subject brought up again!
Besides, DRAGONDAY'S my ALLY - OW!!
When NARRATOR says something, NARRATOR means it!
PROF. WOOD appeared!
PROF. WOOD was renamed WOOD!
Hey, this is supposed to be OAK'S LAB!
PROF. WOOD: Sorry what's-your-name, but OAK hasn't been here for ages, so I've been assigned to take his place.
Now I remember! OAK was murdered a while ago.
WOOD: YAY! I get a LAB of my own! From now on, OAK'S LAB will be known as WOOD'S LAB!
NARRATOR never liked OAK, but never knew WOOD could be so happy that OAK was killed!
WOOD: Hey BOOMING VOICE, don't get me wrong. I'm sorry OAK'S dead, but I have every right to be happy when I get my own LAB!
FRED: I wouldn't even be sorry about OAK being dead.
o_O;;
o_O;;
WOOD: Look kid-that-came-in-first, I won't help you start your POKÉMON JOURNEY if you keep making that face at me.
I'm not here to start a POKÉMON JOURNEY, I just want directions!
WOOD: This is my first official day on the job! Now, nobody leaves until I GET YOU STARTED ON POKÉMON JOURNEYS!
But I don't want to go through a difficult journey where you have to battle and capture heaps of POKÉMON, and also battle a whole bunch of people who aim to make me black out and then take half my hard-earned money!
Actually, NARRATOR is going to take that money, since TIM is still in AZURE DIMENSION.
WHAT?!
NARRATOR didn't say that!
And if NARRATOR did, TIM should pretend it didn't!
I want some directions to get out of this place, and then DRAGONDAY and I can leave!
DRAGONDAY reminds TIM that DRAGONDAY is not TIM's POKÉMON!
DRAGONDAY personally wants to become a POKÉMON TRAINER itself!
WOOD: That's legally not allowed.
A LEGAL SYSTEM doesn't exist in AZURE VERSION!
WOOD: Will you stay out of this, BOOMING VOICE?
Can't WOOD say NARRATOR?
And WOOD had better learn that this whole place is controlled by NARRATOR and WEBMISTRESS!
WOOD: I'm not about to let someone take this LAB away from me just because some weird POKÉMON wants to become a TRAINER!
DRAGONDAY wants to become a TRAINER!
NARRATOR backs DRAGONDAY up!
I think I'll be safer if I don't say anything.
FRED: Why am I being ignored? And WEEDLE, return!
NARRATOR will pay attention to FRED and WEEDLE when something interesting happens!
WOOD: I don't care what I'm told by a BOOMING VOICE and a weird POKÉMON, I will not be bossed around!
DRAGONDAY used FIRE SPIN!
I didn't know you learnt that! Whoa...
WOOD was burnt to a charcoal-like state!
WOOD: FINE! TAKE THE POKÉMON YOU LIKE, WHATEVER ELSE YOU NEED AND GET OUT OF HERE!
Considering how burnt you are, I'm surprised you're still alive.
DRAGONDAY has chosen CHARMANDER!
I may as well take a couple of POKÉ BALLS, then.
WOOD: YOU HAVE TO TAKE A POKÉDEX TOO!
DRAGONDAY doesn't think so!
WOOD: IF YOU'RE GOING TO BURN ME SO YOU CAN BECOME A POKÉMON TRAINER, THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS TAKE EVERYTHING YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO!
I'm sick of that yelling; I'll just hold onto the POKÉDEX.
DRAGONDAY is slightly grateful for TIM's HELP!
Really?
Enough to be a PROPER ALLY from now on!
Yay!
Within reason!
I suppose I shouldn't argue. DRAGONDAY, just wait until I give FRED the MEDICATION he needs.
FRED: I think you need it more than I do!
No I don't! I've felt almost fine since landing here!
FRED: But you see the POKÉDEX and POKÉ BALLS you're holding?
Obviously!
FRED: They're not really there!
WHAT? No CHAIR is going to take this MEDICATION off me; it's mine!
TIM took his MEDICATION!
TIM fell over!
DRAGONDAY rolled its eyes and knocked FRED over with its TAIL!
FRED: OW! That hurt!
DRAGONDAY says that it was supposed to!
FRED: Me and my big mouth.

Player: Fred [Record: 1-4-0] Last battle: earlier, Loss v. Door

At least now my words are easier to see. WOOD, can you do me a favour and shove my very annoying WEEDLE into a POKÉ BALL?
WOOD: I've been through enough today! Do it yourself, and if you can't, don't look to me for help!
I don't believe this, someone gets blasted by fire once and they're already in a bad mood!
WOOD: For your information, kid-that-came-in-last-and-looks-like-you-slept-in, I have not only been bullied by a weird POKÉMON and BOOMING VOICE! Earlier today some psycho girl came in, and tried to attack me with an AXE the moment I told her my name!
NARRATOR suggests that WOOD has met JANICE!
WOOD: At least I can report her to the POLICE now! She hit me over the head and while I was recovering, she grabbed the POKÉ BALL with SQUIRTLE in it, some POKÉ BALLS, then ran away!
You should be glad JANICE didn't hack into you!
WOOD: I've heard enough from you, BOOMING VOICE. Kid-who-came-in-last, you had better just take BULBASAUR, the remaining POKÉ BALLS and a POKÉDEX. Then I've done my job, you can all get out, and I can fix up this LAB!
If you say so...
FRED received BULBASAUR, a number of POKÉ BALLS, and a POKÉDEX!
Hey, now I have a POKÉMON, I can just dump WEEDLE, can't I?
Even if FRED is STUPID enough to understand when NARRATOR doesn't want a subject mentioned again, doesn't he at least remember what he went through to get WEEDLE in the first place?!
I can't remember everything that happens! When did I get WEEDLE!
Once again, NARRATOR would really like to strangle FRED!
FRED must remember Battle 2, when he also met EVIL EEVEE!
Oh, yeah. Let me think...actually WEEDLE, we're supposed to be sort-of friends, aren't we?
WEEDLE supposes so!
Fine...we're sort-of friends!
WEEDLE doesn't really care, as long as a POKÉ BALL isn't involved!
It isn't; I can save some money if I keep yours as a spare.
WEEDLE is happy with that!
WOOD: Seeing that you've all worked things out, GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE!
Sounds good to me. Let's go, WEEDLE!
TIM is standing up again!
TIM: Uh, NARRATOR, why'd it take so long for me to recover from taking those PILLS?
Mainly because NARRATOR was too busy narrating FRED's side of the battle!
Hey TIM, since we have to go on the same POKÉMON JOURNEY at the same time, does that make us RIVALS or ALLIES?
TIM: I dunno. What's the difference?
NARRATOR thinks the only difference is that RIVALS have to battle each other all the time throughout their JOURNEYS, and ALLIES don't have to!
Then I'd rather have an ALLY than a RIVAL.
TIM: Same here! The NARRATOR is enough for me to deal with, without having a personal RIVAL as well!
WOOD: ARE YOU KIDS EVER GOING TO LEAVE?
I'm starting to wish AXE-GIRL did try to hack into WOOD.
FRED, WEEDLE, TIM and DRAGONDAY left!
NARRATOR thinks that's too hard to say all the time!
FRED, WEEDLE, TIM and DRAGONDAY was renamed DEMY!
HUH?!
Take a close look at the name!
But...Oh, I get it. You've used the last letter of each name.
Now, FRED can think of why DEMY and JANICE are here at all!
This so-called battle has gone on long enough! Tell us why we're here, then go do something else!
FRED is sounding a bit like WOOD now!
Don't say that...
NARRATOR needs to check the situation with WEBMISTRESS, and may get back to DEMY later!
What do you mean, 'may'?
NARRATOR thought of something else it has to do before this battle ends!

Setting: Azure Version
Player: Gary [Record: 0-0-0] Last seen: #9, 'allied' with Brock

NARRATOR has found GARY and BROCK exactly where NARRATOR was told they were last week!
GARY and BROCK have obviously made no progress!
Actually, we have figured out what task we're going to be forced to do!
NARRATOR can't believe it!
We have! We're going to be made to help out the WEBMASTER with site maintenance!
?
If GARY had EYES at least, he would know that the WEBMASTER was re-titled WEBMISTRESS quite a while ago!
And GARY and BROCK seem to have ignored the clue that this task will probably kill them both!
We think that the WEBMISTRESS meant that we'd be killed by boredom!
The WEBMISTRESS of AZURE VERSION meant that GARY and BROCK have been carefully chosen to seek out and remove a certain DOOMPUFF SPIN-OFF from AZURE VERSION, otherwise known as RUSTEPI!
NOOO!!!
BROCK echoed GARY's SCREAM!
NARRATOR thinks it would be wise to leave GARY and BROCK alone for a while to let the COLD, HARD REALITY of all this sink in!
@#$%&!!!
NARRATOR has done what it had to do!
Now it's GARY and BROCK's TURN!

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