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Backtrack:
Why must we backtrack anywhere? Let us look forward to the future, within the environment the Azure Version Website Council have created - Then again, never mind.
Battle #21: (Is) A Waste of Time
April 14, 2001
Setting:
Justa Garden - Azure Version
Player: ?
[Record: none]
I SHALL AVENGE MY COUSIN!
? doesn't need to yell so loudly in this first sentence - besides, it's late.
Oh, sorry.
I shall avenge my cousin!
NARRATOR *ahem*s and notes that the '!' is still there!
*sigh* I shall avenge my cousin.
NARRATOR nods in approval!
? learns quickly for a CHARACTER that NARRATOR knows nothing about!
Okay, I've gotten that catchcry straightened out - Hey, you've been mocking me, haven't you?
NARRATOR denies such a harsh accusation!
But you have!
NARRATOR shakes her head!
NARRATOR realises no one can see that!
JUSTA GARDEN was shaken from side to side!
AUGGH! YOU'RE GETTING MY FUR ALL DIRTY!
NARRATOR nods in concession!
JUSTA GARDEN was rocked back and forth!
AUGGH! I'M GETTING BURIED IN THIS COMPOST!
NARRATOR can see that!
It isn't NARRATOR's fault that ? chose to be on the garden!
I AM THE COUSIN OF SILKSTER!
*LOL*
THE GREAT PSYCHO RABBIT, POSSESSING THE POWERS OF MYXOMATOSIS!
*ROTFL*
You dare to disbelieve me; VELVET?
Wait...just...a...sec...
Player: Velvet
NARRATOR'S considering that as a possibility!
Look at the archives, where my cousin's tale is told! History never lies!
NARRATOR knows that, but has her doubts about the historians.
NARRATOR just leaves for a few more laughs!
...
I can not believe the injustice here - my poor cousin, suffering so much under that stupid girl who imprisoned him from infanthood, only to endure more pain here. *sniff* Such a lonely life, especially after his 4000 followers were stricken down with THE DISEASE...no one's ever truly respected him but me...
All right, VELVET can stop blabbering on and on!
Back so soon?
NARRATOR has the ability to SKIM READ!
How else would you expect her to have gone through so much PAPERWORK in her -
Excuse me, focus on the MAIN CHARACTER - me.
As far as NARRATOR'S concerned, VELVET has nothing to contribute to AZURE VERSION!
Excuse me, I plan to avenge my COUSIN then prove to everyone that he deserved more respect than he ever had!
Yes, VELVET'S made that point veeerrryyy clear.
How can NARRATOR be sure that VELVET is the cousin of the late SILKSTER?
The last thing NARRATOR wants to handle is a CHARACTER who claims to have connections just to get some free publicity!
If you're gonna be so insistent on that, I'm the niece of the step-ninth cousin twice removed of SILKSTER - satisfied?
Is that even possible?!
NARRATOR tries to mentally sketch the family tree!
NARRATOR gives up and will have to take VELVET's word for it!
About time. Now, take me to the CRUEL, HEARTLESS DEVOURER who murdered my poor cousin!
JUSTA GARDEN moves and indicates the general direction of RUSTEPI's location!
NARRATOR can't guarantee that RUSTEPI is still around there, though!
ECK! I'm buried to my head in rotting food scraps and I still can't get a definite location?!
NARRATOR could toss VELVET towards the UNEXPLORED PORTAL if she wants to hunt down RUSTEPI!
...You'd better clean me up first!
If VELVET says so!
GIANT WATERING CAN emerged from the SKY!
WATERING CAN used WATER on VELVET!
*drowning screams*
WATERING CAN was withdrawn!
Oops?
I LOOK LIKE A DROWNED FREAK! DIDN'T ANYONE EVER TEACH YOU HOW TO USE A WATERING CAN?!
No...NARRATOR'S always thought of that spout thingy as a decoration of some sort.
YOU MINDLESS IDIOT!
NARRATOR isn't a mindless idiot!
VELVET wanted to be cleaned up, and NARRATOR just did what it was told!
BUT I'M SOAKED TO THE BONE, AND I HAPPEN TO BE COATED IN MUD!
MUD'S said to be very beneficial for the skin.
I DON'T @#$%& CARE! @#$%& FIX ME UP PROPERLY!!!
Big problems need big solutions!
NARRATOR consulted with the RSACi!
RSACi CLOUD appeared!
Oh, goody! A proper shower!
RSACi CLOUD used CLEANSING LIGHTNING CENSOR!
ZZZP!
RSACi CLOUD retreats to the background once more!
Don't worry, NARRATOR will unfairly update the PB RECORDS in return - no one heard that, did they?
...*cough* I can't see the *cough* cleansing properties of that...
At least VELVET looks...sort-of...normal again!
Fine NARRATOR, have your fun now. JUST YOU WAIT 'TIL I TRACK DOWN THE ONE WHO'LL HAVE TO ACCEPT
RESPONSIBILITY FOR SILKSTER'S DEATH! EVEN YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO STOP ME GETTING
REVENGE!
: )
...Uh, NARRATOR has to leave!
...
Ah yes, the NARRATOR thinks she's so great, but she's also been distracted from updating the date for over ½ hour. This is going to be heaps of fun...
April 15, 2001
Setting:
Nondescript City - A. Version
Player: Fred
[Record: 3-6-0] Last battle: #20, 'Loss' v. RSACi Cloud
Ohhh...Whatever's just happened had better be over...Last week's BATTLE is starting to come back -
FRED was hit in the head with a loose BRICK to wipe out the memory!
OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?
FRED doesn't have a clue?
OF COURSE I DON'T!
Good!
?
TIM:
Looks like everyone's back to their usual selves - now we'd better figure out where we are.
NARRATOR pokes at the giant 'NONDESCRIPT CITY' BANNERS hanging off practically every building in the area!
TIM:
AUGGH! The BANNERS are moving towards us!
I'm not getting involved in this!
TIM:
DON'T COME ANY CLOSER OR YOU'LL REGRET IT!
Just wondering - what kind of stupid name is NONDESCRIPT CITY?
A VERY APPROPRIATE ONE!
TIM:
DON'T THINK BEING ABLE TO TALK WILL GET YOU OUT OF TROUBLE!
NARRATOR is reviewing the strength of TIM's medication!
Can you shut him up while you do that?
TIM:
YOU THINK I'M INSANE? YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT! >: )
NARRATOR knocks all the BANNERS down from the buildings for no particular reason!
TIM:
Help.
AAAUUUGGGGGGHHH!!!
I'm not chasing after him!
FRED has to!
FRED needs to give TIM his new medical prescription!
I'M NOT GOING TO PURSUE A COMPLETE NUTCASE!
Okay...but FRED has to hold onto the prescription medicine!
I can live with that!
PILL BOTTLE walks - uh, shuffles - up to FRED!
...Hi?
PILL BOTTLE does adore FRED, but isn't ready to make a COMMITMENT!
o_O;;
PILL BOTTLE suggests that FRED lives with it and they'll see how things go!
AAAUUUGGGGGGHHH!!!
COME BACK AND GET YOUR @#$%& MEDICINE YOU NUT!!!
NARRATOR looks at the POKÉMON standing around!
NARRATOR can't decide what to do with them!
...
DRAGONDAY suggests they stampede through the CITY!
CHARMANDER is withdrawn for the sake of convenience!
BULBASAUR and PINSIR are ignored for the sake of convenience!
WEEDLE spots what looks like a giant POKÉ BALL!
DRAGONDAY is already leaving to do some stampeding!
WEEDLE freaks out and follows DRAGONDAY!
...NARRATOR gets the feeling that there are too many unresolved situations now.
Has NARRATOR been through this before?
Maybe last w - OW!
Hey, where'd this BRICK come from?
Setting:
Exclamation Park
Player: Tim
[Record: 1-3-1] Last seen: earlier, running from banners (of all things)
Is it safe to come out yet?
Just crawl out from under the hedge.
But what if the BANNERS are still coming?
*sigh* The BANNERS died after falling from the buildings. Now will TIM just crawl out?
I heard that *sigh*! You're just trying to trick me into coming out so the BANNERS can kill me quickly!
NARRATOR is starting to wish that were true...
I have no reason to trust anybody! Just leave me alon -
SQUELCH
What was that?
I s'pose I'd better crawl out and check - oh, it's some foil and chocolate stuff. Now I have to find another hedge to hide
under...
VOICE:
WAAAHHH!!!
Sounds like someone being attacked by a BANNER! I'm outta here!
VOICE was identified as being a little KID!
KID:
MY NAME'S KEITH, YOU STUPID NOTHINGNESS!
KID was renamed KEITH!
Whatever happened to respecting your elders?
Go away kiddie, I'm trying to hide from some rampaging murderers!
KEITH:
THE EGG I WAS ABOUT TO GET! YOU WRECKED IT!
!
I did not! It committed suicide 'cause it didn't want to get eaten by a brat like you!
KEITH:
I'M NOT A BRAT! I'M NOT I'M NOT I'M NOT! WAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
I didn't wreck anything!
KEITH:
IT'S ALL OVER YOU! YOU WRECKED IT AND YOU'LL BE SORRY!
It is not!
Unfortunately, KEITH has a POINT.
KEITH:
MY POINT WILL GET YOU BACK!
Put that down before you hurt yourself - great, I'm sounding like my doctors.
But what are chocolate eggs doing outdoors?
NARRATOR thinks it might have something to do with the fact that today is EASTER SUNDAY!
Oh, that festival which lots of kids use as an excuse to make themselves sick from eating too much chocolate?
That's one way of looking at it...
In that case kid, aren't I saving you from a stomachache by accidently doing what I did?
KEITH:
SO YOU DID WRECK IT!
Uh...
KEITH:
YOU ROTTEN STICKING LIAR!
It was begging me to put it out of its misery...?
KEITH:
MY POINT'S GONNA SMASH YA!
BANNERS are after me...POINTS are after me...LIFE'S SO UNFAIR!
KEITH wants to fight!
KEITH sent out POINT!
Go, PINSIR!
WOOD:
'My lab, my lab, la di la di la la...'
Whoops...
POKÉ BALL:
'You've contacted PINSIR's POKÉ BALL. PINSIR isn't available for BATTLE for the moment, but please do the following to leave a message...'
I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!
POKÉ BALL:
'...Press once if this is a personal message...Press twice if this is about a personal dispute...Press three times if this is about a battle with another Pokémon...'
POINT used NOTE!
POINT stuck Post-It NOTES all over TIM!
Post-It NOTES from 3M INNOVATIONS or something! Available from newsagents and numerous other places!
HELP!
POKÉ BALL:
'...Press five times if this is a Poké Battle...'
At last!
TIM pressed POKÉ BALL BUTTON five times!
Nothing happened!
Did you set today aside simply to make my existence a misery?
NARRATOR never plans anything like that!
NARRATOR can't help it if TIM tries to perform a non-BATTLE operation in BATTLE mode!
Fine! Me, use BUTTON PRESS × 5!
TIM used - yes, we already know what!
POKÉ BALL:
'You've chosen to record a message re: a Poké Battle...'
POINT used ADD INSULT TO INJURY!
POINT asks KEITH to give the sum of INSULT and INJURY!
POKÉ BALL:
'...twice if this is kind-of important...Press three times if this is kind-of very important...'
Maybe I should just forfeit...
TIM closed PINSIR's POKÉ BALL!
KEITH:
DON'T ASK ME THE HARD QUESTIONS, YOU SILLY POINT!
POINT asks TIM to add INSULT and INJURY!
Insultjury?
POINT can't believe no one can answer such a simple question!
POINT knocks itself out in its disbelief! Use next Pokémon?
KEITH:
WAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! Everyone's against meee!!!
You have no idea how lucky you actually are...
KEITH ran away!
NARRATOR declares the BATTLE a DRAW!
But that little kid ran away! Doesn't that count as a forfeit?
TIM can't win a BATTLE he didn't really participate in!
So many rules are just made up as things go along...*sigh*
FRED appeared!
Running like there's no tomorrow!
FRED:
YOU - PSYCHO - PUT ME - THROUGH MORE - TROUBLE - THAN YOU'RE - WORTH...
You better not have led those BANNERS here!
DOESN'T TIM UNDERSTAND THAT WHEN NARRATOR DOESN'T ALLOW BANNERS TO MOVE, THEY CAN'T MOVE?
Shhh...Some new medication's shuffling towards us.
PILL BOTTLE appeared!
I'd better see the label...this is mine? I don't remember getting a new prescription, but anything that doesn't make me fall over will be a welcome change.
PILL BOTTLE insists that it belongs to FRED!
You probably should, but a label's a label. There hasn't been a mistake, right?
FRED:
NO MISTAKE IT'S YOURS TAKE IT JUST KEEP IT AWAY FROM ME!
O_O; That's what I was and still am going to do. C'mon PILL BOTTLE -
PILL BOTTLE shall remain loyal to FRED!
Now this is just too weird. What do I have to do, ask for intervention from the WEBSITE COUNCIL?
PILL BOTTLE wants to fight!
PILL BOTTLE sent out PILL BOTTLE!
That's the best idea you can think of?
PILL BOTTLE used TACKLE!
PILL BOTTLE tackled a PEBBLE!
?
That's the only thing it could reach!
Is TIM going to BATTLE or what?
This is the last chance I'll have to win or whatever...Go, POKÉ BALL!
TIM sent out POKÉ BALL!
POKÉ BALL, use CAPTURE!
POKÉ BALL:
'You have asked to overwrite PINSIR with [unknown Pokémon]. Confirm overwrite? If you confirm, press slowly WARNING: Overwriting Pokémon may result in DNA modification, as well as unpleasant side effects on the overwriter...'
WHAT SORT OF @#$%& POKÉ BALL AM I STUCK WITH?
TIM just answered his own question!
FRED:
FIRST I'M STUCK IN NOWHERE LAND, AND NOW I STILL HAVE NO IDEA OF WHAT'S GOING ON!
AUGGH! Where are those loose BRICKS when you need them?
FRED was hit with a loose TREE BRANCH!
What -
TIM was hit with a loose TREE BRANCH!
PILL BOTTLE was hit with a loose TREE BRANCH!
DRAGONDAY and WEEDLE appear!
DRAGONDAY wants to join in the BATTLE?
WEEDLE wants to be kept up-to-date on current events of concern?
>_<
NARRATOR kicked DRAGONDAY and WEEDLE back to the top of AZURE VERSION!
Phew...
Backtrack:
If the DEMY alliance learnt one thing from 'settling' into their environment last week, it was not to bring up the preceding battl - ow! Still, Janice looks prepared to find out why Officer Jennifer and Nurse Joyce are all identical. Is it worth the effort?
Battle #22: Care for the Children, and for the Trees
April 17, 2001
Setting:
Alpha Bet Child-care Centre
Player: Janice
[Record: 2-1-2] Last battle: #20, 'Draw' v. DEMY
Hey...what is JANICE doing here?!
Following the WEBMISTRESS' REQUEST, of course! If it's the only way I'll get more publicity for my causes and myself, I'll do
it!
But - the WEBMISTRESS -
NARRATOR nearly forgot!
AAAHHH!!!
Are you losing your mind?
Just leave me alone; I've got KIDS to keep an eye on.
Who happen to be KEITH, ARTHUR, NORA and JILL, in case JANICE hasn't been able to figure it out!
But KIDS are KIDS! Why do I have to identify them individually?
KEITH:
WAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
You've been crying for the past two days! Get over it!
KEITH:
SOME STUPID IDIOT TOOK MY EGG!
...Yesterday you were saying you had a stomachache!
KEITH:
I DID!!!
ARTHUR:
I DID TOO!
NORA:
I DID FOUR!
JILL:
IT'S 'I DID THREE'!
NORA:
YOU CAN'T COUNT!
JILL:
I'LL PROVE I CAN! JANICE!!!
>_<
JUST SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU!!!
...
Whoa, JANICE is good.
I wish I'd thought of that earlier...
JANICE will also be in big trouble when the KIDS dob her in to their PARENTS!
Yeah, I'm so scared. If I can't find any KIDS that belong to OFFICER JENNIFER or NURSE JOYCE by the end of today, I'm gone!
JANICE knows about NURSE JOYCE?
^_^ Sorta - I saved the one at VIRIDIAN from these TREES that were about to force their way into the POKÉMON CENTRE. She seemed pretty shaken up, actually...
KEITH:
SHUT-UP PERSON, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GIVE US MORNING TEA! NOWWW!!!
I bet that kid's in league with the TREES... All right, let's see...is this it?
What's 'THIS'?
NARRATOR is trying to remember what 'THIS' is in POKÉ BATTLES LANGUAGE!
It's CAKE - I just put it on the TABLE. And don't you dare try to make something funny out of it!
NARRATOR nearly forgot again!
AAAHHH!!!
Today's been bad enough without a screaming NARRATOR!
NARRATOR used TELEPORT on CAKE!
Uhhh...NARRATOR needs to leave for a few minutes. Bye!
I hope I'm not too late with this -
...
KEITH:
THAT WAS MIIINNNEEE!!!
I'm not talking to someone who SHOUTS IN CAPITAL LETTERS ALL THE TIME!
KEITH:
...
What happened to the CAKE?!
You're too young to understand. You're better off not finding out 'til you're about 10 - actually, the longer you don't know, the better. Trust me!
KEITH:
Did it have to do with the STUPID NOTHINGNESS?!
You already know? In that case, yeah.
KEITH:
Make it give it baaaccckkk!!!
You're asking me to confront the NARRATOR about it? I'm not exactly thrilled with the idea of killing myself!
KEITH:
Make it give it baaaccckkk!!!
Don't worry, the CAKE'S filled with little kiddie poison anyway. Just eat...um, all the other stuff!
KEITH:
What other stuff?!
Hey NARRATOR, you take the CAKE, you owe me a favour!
...
Still not back?
Well...everyone gets...PRINGLES...and ORANGE JUICE.
KEITH:
At home, I get heaps more PRINGLES!
Eat it. Or I'll get the extra supply of little kiddie poison from the kitchen.
KEITH:
(:-&
KIDS are grumpily eating!
What's JANICE done this time?
What was I supposed to do after you teleported that CAKE away?
That's true.
I hate weird things happening without knowing what's going on! Now explain where you took the CAKE and
why!
NARRATOR isn't risking the VERSION's RANKING by going on about something no-one else cares about!
How'd you like me to mess up your precious STORYLINE? It'll be easy; all I have to do is track down that paranoid cry-baby idiot and then say -
NARRATOR gets the idea!
But why would anybody care about the WEBMISTRESS' -
KEITH:
OW!
What is it?
KEITH:
My food's attacking me!
And there are such things as 'chickens'. KEEP EATING.
KEITH:
But my PRINGLES are scratching my face!
What do you know, they can think. I said KEEP EATING!
JILL:
*cough* My ORANGE JUICE is trying to choke me! *splutter*
NORA:
My face is scratching my PRINGLES and is losing the BATTLE!
ARTHUR:
Silly - you should've sent out your PLATE first!
I wouldn't mind this half as much if I could at least find out if OFFICER JENNIFER and NURSE JOYCE come in kid
size...
O_O; Does JANICE know how weird that sounded?
Besides, while JANICE is here, she may as well not have the KIDS start a revolution!
They just can't eat properly! It's not like inanimate objects can come to life and attack people -
Excuse the NARRATOR?!
What did JANICE just say?
It's not like you don't kno - !
You're telling me these KIDS aren't just making a big deal about nothing?
JANICE would be sensible to fix things up quickly, before they get out of control!
Everyone, get up from the TABLE and stand back!
KIDS did so!
KIDS also happen to be freaked out!
There are two possible reasons why!
One, their food is attacking them!
Two -
DIE, YOU VICIOUS MORNING TEA!
...
MORNING TEA wants to fight - maybe...
MORNING TEA's PRINGLES are just sitting around!
You can't lull me into a false sense of security! Go, SQUIRTLE!
JANICE sent out SQUIRTLE!
SQUIRTLE, use your best attack on the PRINGLES!
SQUIRTLE used TACKLE!
SQUIRTLE went to TACKLE - and ran right into the TABLETOP!
Can't you tell a TABLETOP from PRINGLES?!
SQUIRTLE's attack missed!
I already know that!
TABLE is vibrating from the impact of the TACKLE!
PRINGLES fell off the TABLE!
I guess that attack wasn't a complete waste of time then! SQUIRTLE, attack them while they're stunned!
SQUIRTLE used TACKLE!
PRINGLES were renamed BROKEN PRINGLES!
YAY!
BROKEN PRINGLES haven't fainted!
Huh? SQUIRTLE, keep attacking!
SQUIRTLE asks for help!
C'mon, they're tiny!
SQUIRTLE complains that BROKEN PRINGLES are scratching it!
ATTACK THEM BACK!
SQUIRTLE fainted! Use next Pokémon?
How're you supposed to train a POKÉMON who can't win BATTLES? Go, STARUS!
JANICE withdrew SQUIRTLE!
JANICE sent out STARUS! Good luck - you'll need it!
STARUS, let's get this over and done with! Use SPINNING SPIKES on the CHILD of TREES!
STARUS used SPINNING SPIKES on TABLE!
TABLE was knocked over!
ORANGE JUICE was spilt!
All we have to do now is wait for the MORNING TEA to attack itself!
ORANGE JUICE spread across the floor!
ORANGE JUICE soaked BROKEN PRINGLES!
MORNING TEA fainted!
JANICE wins!
YAAAY!!!
Does this mean I don't have to clean up after my opponents?
No, JANICE still has to do that.
So what was the point of attacking the MORNING TEA?
How should NARRATOR know?
But you're the one who told me the KIDS weren't making a big deal out of nothing!?
Did NARRATOR say that?
...
VOICE:
JAAANNNIIICE!!!
VOICE was identified as MRS KAIRER!
MRS KAIRER appeared!
MRS KAIRER saw the mess!
MRS KAIRER frowned!
MRS KAIRER:
You have lots of explaining to do, young lady!
Why'd you choose to turn up at the worst possible time?!
KIDS are standing behind MRS KAIRER!
MRS KAIRER:
Such responsible children, these dears are - they know they can get me when there are problems -
KEITH:
SHE SAID 'SHUT UP'!
ARTHUR:
SHE SAID SHE HAD LITTLE KIDDIE POISON!
NORA:
SHE TOOK OUR MORNING-TEA CAKE!
JILL:
SHE MADE US EAT OUCH FOOD!
NARRATOR, why didn't you warn me about these kids?
NARRATOR didn't want to interrupt the BATTLE!
*ahem* MRS KAIRER is still frowning!
MRS KAIRER:
Explain yourself!
If you say so...
These KIDS are little whingeing brats, I wish I did have little kiddie poison, a disembodied voice took the cake and it's not my fault that the food you bought happened to attack the kids!
MRS KAIRER:
How - How dare you speak to me in such a manner?! And how dare you terrorise these darlings, create pathetic excuses and make such a mess?!
How dare you complain about the way I take care of these KIDS when they're actually your responsibility?!
KIDS:
Fight! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
You should be glad these KIDS aren't TREES, or I'd really be cutting them down to size!
JANICE pulled out AXE and started swinging it around!
KIDS run outside - and start cheering again!
MRS KAIRER:
Y-Y-You vicious little monster!
I know, and I'm the only known customer of little kiddie poison.
MRS KAIRER:
Y-Y-You deserve to be locked away for the rest of your worthless life! Just wait until the POLICE arrive, JANICE
WHAT'S-YOUR-NAME!
Actually, it's WHAT'S-MY-NAME.
MRS KAIRER:
That's what I meant; JANICE WHAT'S-MY-NAME!
Doesn't MRS KAIRER know what her name is?
MRS KAIRER:
Yes, of course!
So JANICE's LAST NAME can't be WHAT'S-MY-NAME!
MRS KAIRER:
Then it's WHAT'S-YOUR-NAME!
I know what your name is, though. It's WHAT'S-MY-NAME.
MRS KAIRER:
WHAT'S-MY-NAME? No...WHAT'S-YOUR-NAME? Just hold it right there - this makes no sense whatsoever!
MRS KAIRER is confused!
It hurt itself in its confusion!
MRS KAIRER:
I beg you par - OUCH! I want an explan - OUCH!!! Don't make me get the - OUCH!!!
MRS KAIRER fainted!
Now she's out of the way, it's time to find those horrible KIDS and make them clean up this place!
NARRATOR suspects the KIDS have decided to roam the CITY!
In that case, I won't bother looking.
*sigh* I've spent days here and I still can't find one reasonably nice little kid.
Why would JANICE care?
It just seems more than coincidental that every kid around here is a loudmouthed, fussy, whining brat.
Of course it isn't coincidental!
...I could've figured that out myself!
*sigh* The CHILD-CARE CENTRE must be wrecking JANICE's brain!
JANICE had better leave before it turns to ASH - I don't know what made me say that.
...
Okaaayyy, I'm going!
JANICE left!
Setting:
Exclamation Park
JANICE entered EXCLAMATION PARK!
...TREES appeared!
TREES!
HOW COULD YOU LET THESE MONSTROUS CREATURES COME HERE?!
To see the priceless EXPRESSION on JANICE's face!
DIE, YOU GANG OF GIANT VEGETATION! TREMBLE BEFORE THE MIGHTY AXE!
JANICE wielded AXE!
TREES trembled obediently!
DON'T THINK ACTING SUBMISSIVE WILL SPARE YOU FROM SUFFERING!
TREES can't see the point of trembling then!
TREES sent out LEAVES!
LEAVES were dumped on top of JANICE!
Mmphh!
TREES make faces at JANICE!
Maybe it's a good thing she can't see them - freeeaaaky...
*gasp* At least they've done it at the wrong time of year! Now they'll die slow, painful deaths!
JANICE?
Stop talking, I wanna watch these TREES realise the way their plan's backfired!
It's autumn.
...
Have you got some backroom deal with the TREE POPULATION?
No, and even if NARRATOR is lying, JANICE would never know!
That's it! I'm taking my AXE and leaving this messed-up VERSION!
NARRATOR would like to see JANICE try!
FINE! Now, where'd that AXE go?
JANICE started digging through the pile of LEAVES!
TIM appeared!
AUGGH!!!
Still under that TREE BRANCH, too!
TIM:
What the - Can you help me out of this, Miss?
NO!
TIM:
But you look like such a nice person, Miss!
STUFF MY AXE, I'M NOT STAYING NEAR THIS WEIRDO!
TIM:
*sniff* I thought you were going to be nice...
I'M NOT NICE! I'LL PROVE IT!
JANICE 'suddenly' found PILL BOTTLE in the pile of LEAVES!
TIM:
Can you at least hand my PILL BOTTLE back?
Hmm...I'M GONNA PROVE TO YOU THAT I'M NOT NICE!
JANICE swallowed five PILLS at one time?
SEE? I'M NOT NICE! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR HEAD!
TIM:
Miss...
STOP CALLING ME TH - Huh? Where'd the TREES go?
Guess I'm underwater then...I don't think people can breathe underwater though...Maybe I should hold my breath?
JANICE held her breath!
...
JANICE is going to have serious problems if she doesn't breathe soon!
...
JANICE passed out!
: ) So much for leaving the messed-up VERSION!
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