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Battle #17: For Society's Sake February 23, 2001
Setting: Office - the World Beyond the Internet
Player: Polly Tishan [Record: none]

Just a few months before my moment of glory...heh heh...
Then I can stop walking around the streets like a caring person and pretending to listen to those stupid people who think they know what's best...
...What about the new bike laws?...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, PEOPLE ARE BLAMING THEM ON ME?!
IT WAS YOUR FAULT!
...Don't 'Ms Tishan' me! Besides, it's your word against mine, and those citizens out there are pretty brainless, so : b!
YOU'RE FIRED!
...
...You believe your little friend, huh?
YOU'RE FIRED TOO! AND LET THAT BE A LESSON TO ALL OF YOU!
SLAM
Phew, about time I get my office back to myself.
WEBMISTRESS appeared!
AUGGH! Wait a minute, are you here or what?
WEBMISTRESS is looming over your HEAD!
*sigh* Even the disembodied voices have to think that I'm here to serve them... How'd you get past my personal staff?!
PERSONAL STAFF left after being FIRED, threatening to get POLLY back for UNFAIR DISMISSAL and SEVERE BURNS!
They're gonna sue me?! Ungrateful little -
Didn't it occur to POLLY that 'getting someone back' means taking cold, heartless REVENGE?
What, no courts?
AZURE VERSION has no LEGAL SYSTEM!
AZURE VERSION shouldn't even have POLLY, but WEBMISTRESS is desperate!
AZURE what?! Have you taken your medication for the day?
Has POLLY got any idea what POKÉ BATTLES are?
Look, I seriously have no time for these mind games. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to fixing the press release that I - er, my personal staff managed to mess up. Go on, shoo.
WILL POLLY KEEP HER MOUTH SHUT AND GIVE WEBMISTRESS A CHANCE TO SPEAK?
...Whatever.
If POLLY gives up this CAMPAIGN and moves out to AZURE VERSION, she will get the highly esteemed ROLE of PEST CONTROL MANAGER (PCM)!
Hmm...sounds like a nice change from this work. But I thrive on power! I was born for it! How can I give up what I've got, just to move to some strange world?
Trust WEBMISTRESS: if POLLY does well in her JOB quickly, she will be promoted to the vital ROLE of NARRATOR!
I sense a conspiracy in the making...
That's just POLLY's DISTRUSTFUL NATURE!
But still.
POLLY can have heaps of PEOPLE and CREATURES to exploit and pick on!
Conspiracy or not, this is too good a chance to lose! All right, WEB-what's-your-name, give me a sec to pack -
Whoops, TIME'S up!
WEBMISTRESS used SETTING TRANSFER!
SETTING was changed!

Setting: Somewhere we've already been - A. Dimension
Player: Tim [Record: 1-3-1] Last seen: #16, escaping from Rustepi

Can...I...stop...running...yet...
No.
You...mean...RUSTEPI'S...still...after...me...
No.
Hey!
Rats, what'd TIM stop running for?
Why...run...more...than...I...have...to?
WEBMISTRESS wanted to see how far TIM could get before his LEGS fell off and his LUNGS popped!
Now WEBMISTRESS will never know!
WEBMISTRESS is greatly displeased by that!
But I've been running full-speed, non-stop for nearly a WEEK! Isn't that good enough?
WEBMISTRESS seriously hopes that TIM doesn't really need the ANSWER to that QUESTION again!
I'm sick of having to talk to you - I may as well check on my ALLIES and POKÉMON.
Fine, be like that!
That was an unusually peaceful response...Huh? Where'd everyone go?
How'd TIM's BRAIN work so quickly? WEBMISTRESS was expecting it to be seriously OXYGEN-DEPRIVED!
AUGGH! I'M ALL ALONE IN A STRANGE WORLD AND I WANT FOOD!
WEEDLE kicked TIM's ANKLE!
It's super effective!
OW! What're you wearing, STEEL BOOTS?
WEEDLE reminds TIM that the POWER of BUG is grossly underrated, in the same way that the POWER of ONE is overrated!
Yeah, just throw in a pointless CLICHÉ and make sure that I can't understand what you're saying.
WEEDLE also reminds TIM that he can't be alone while WEEDLE is with him!
Out of chance rather than out of choice!
Blah, blah, blah...Huh? But I thought you didn't hate me! *sniff*
WEEDLE doesn't hate TIM, but finds him sickeningly pathetic!
Oh well, could be worse.
In what way?
TIM vaguely points in a DIRECTION?
WEBMISTRESS can't see how that was supposed to mean anything!
So I'm stuck with WEEDLE until we can figure out where to go? Oh, I almost forgot my wonderful PINSIR! C'mon PINSIR, come out and bask in the SUNSHINE!
TIM sent out PINSIR!
PINSIR complains that there can be no SUNSHINE in the DARK!
PINSIR says that basking in the glow of PITCH-BLACK DARKNESS doesn't have the same effects re: improving HEALTH and WELL-BEING!
Are all bugs as weird as you two?
WEEDLE resents being insulted for being INTELLIGENT!
PINSIR wants to be cherished for its ABILITY to COMMUNICATE on such a high LEVEL!
I'll take it that I'm right...
WEEDLE accuses PINSIR of being a STUCK-UP CREATURE who gives BUGS a bad NAME!
PINSIR notes that WEEDLE is a rotten name anyway, and that WEEDLE'S just JEALOUS that a NEWCOMER can have a decent POINT of VIEW!
WEBMISTRESS, are you just going to LEAVE ME HERE with these weirdo BUG POKÉMON?!
Once again, TIM must already know what the ANSWER will be!
You mean NO?
WEBMISTRESS means YES!
I just remembered why I hate talking to you.

February 24, 2001
Setting: Cerulean City - A. Dimension/TV Show
Player: Fred [Record: 3-4-0] Last seen: #16, escaping from Rustepi

'CERULEAN CITY'? Where's that on this MAP? Um...'location of the second GYM, known as CERULEAN GYM and HOME to WATER POKÉMON'...That reminds me, I still have to figure out what 'POKÉMON' is.
Excuse me!!!
Whoops, CHARACTERS are here! You're not PESTS, are you?
You mean me, DRAGONDAY and our POKÉMON? What d'ya know, we've been separated from TIM and WEEDLE! They never did know how to head in one DIRECTION...
I think so.
What gave you that IDEA?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW? I'M JUST AN ORDINARY PERSON WITH AVERAGE INTELLIGENCE WHO HAPPENS TO WANT TO DEVOTE HER LIFE TO SERVING THE COMMUNITY!
O_O
What are you, the new NARRATOR or something?
Not yet, but I hope to be. I want to be in a POSITION where I can consult my fellow CITIZENS on what we ought to achieve together for the COMMON GOOD -
Stop throwing that stuff at us, will ya? We're not that stupid!
Oh yes, yes, you're absolutely definitely undoubtedly 100% right about that!
What are you doing in this 'CERULEAN CITY' anyway?
Do you even know what 'POKÉMON' means?
Uh, I'll have to get back to you if you want a satisfactory and detailed ANSWER.
In that case, there's no POINT explaining all this stuff to you. C'mon DRAGONDAY, we have to head to the GYM!
DRAGONDAY? Whoa, I haven't seen a VOTER this big for a while...We'll have to adjust the VOTING BOOTHS.
Stop obsessing about whatever you're obsessed about and TELL ME WHAT DRAGONDAY'S SAYING!
I'd like to, but I seriously haven't had a chance to study the wonderful DRAGONDAYER LANGUAGE yet.
AUGGH! SOMEONE DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS WEIRD VOICE!
Stop wasting everyone's time with your IGNORANCE!
Is holding a giant leather-bound BOOK called 'POKÉMON and POKÉ BATTLES' above my HEAD a usual PRACTICE - OWWW!!!
Pain...

FRED and DRAGONDAY are walking to CERULEAN GYM!
The STREETS are DESERTED!
STREETS have been lonely!
Why would the STREETS care? Wouldn't they be happier without DIRTY SHOE MARKS, and all that other stuff that PEOPLE drop on them?
STREETS have no EARS to hear FRED's ARGUMENT!
STREETS just feel better with someone around!
STREETS jump for JOY!
HEEELLLPPP!!! Stay still like you're s'posed to!
PCM said that STREETS have no EARS!
How long does it take to hammer the MESSAGE in?
If you think you're so great, you fix up these STREETS!
Maybe later. Or maybe not.
STREETS now begin to leap!
FRED is sent flying!
Just a thought...if I kept going, can I be titled the FIRST HUMAN GLIDER?
FRED collided into the DOOR to CERULEAN GYM!

Setting: Cerulean Gym (C. City) - A. Dimension/TV Show

OW! Didn't it occur to you that your ANSWERS can be SPOKEN?!
ACTIONS speak louder than WORDS, FRED person. Any respectable COMMUNITY LEADER learns that from BIRTH.
Respectable? Aren't you contradicting yourself?
Is FRED challenging PCM to a DEBATE?!
Uh...not now. DRAGONDAY, you still okay?
DRAGONDAY says that it is, of course!
DRAGONDAY flew above the leaping STREETS!
Humph. It wouldn't have hurt to offer me a LIFT.
DRAGONDAY says it's never too late to give a LIFT to FRED, if that's what he wants!
FRED was given LIFT!
Otherwise known as your common ELEVATOR!
Changed my - mind - take - it back!
PCM made LIFT dematerialise!
DRAGONDAY says that's why it didn't want to give any LIFTS!
Thanks, whoever thought of WORD and PHRASE CORRUPTION.
PCM is having some FUN in its new JOB!
PCM wonders whether FRED and DRAGONDAY will try to open the DOOR any time this YEAR!
I'm not sure I wanna risk it. DRAGONDAY, just knock it over or something.
DRAGONDAY wants to know if this means it gets to battle for the CASCADEBADGE first!
Is that the only way I'll get you to open the DOOR?
DRAGONDAY nodded!
I don't have much of a choice then...Go ahead.
DRAGONDAY used SLAM!
Its attack missed!
What the -
DOOR had jumped out of the way at the LAST MINUTE!
I knew this whole CITY was completely insane!
GRAVITY came into effect!
DOOR fell back down!
PCM PERSON, IF YOU MAKE THIS INTO ONE OF THOSE PREDICTABLE EVENTS, I'M GONNA -
DOOR landed on DRAGONDAY!
DRAGONDAY's HEAD can withstand such force!
*sigh* Close one. Maybe the WEBSITE COUNCIL have a little RESPECT for me after all.
DAISY, VIOLET and MILLY appeared!
DAISY, VIOLET and MILLY were renamed SYNCHRONISED SWIMMING SISTERS!
Which was shortened to SSS!
DAISY: Hey VOICE, it's like, y'know, soo mean to, y'know, get our TITLE wrong, see? It's just like, y'see, like you don't realise, like, we're the soo SENSATIONAL SISTERS!
Maybe STUPID-SPEECH SISTERS would be more appropriate.
MILLY: We soo heard that!
VIOLET: And we're, like, really mad at ya, y'know, for wrecking our, like, brand-new DOOR!
DAISY: Forget trying to battle us for a BADGE, y'see, 'cause we don't like you!
I should've known this was going to happen.
DRAGONDAY knocked FRED out of the way!
OW!
PCM thinks 'OW!' is overused!
PCM used LIVE EDIT!
OW! OUCH!
Either way, I'm still injured!
PCM places PUBLIC INTEREST before INDIVIDUAL INTEREST!
Therefore, VISITORS are more important than FRED is!
Yay.
DRAGONDAY wants to challenge SSS!
VIOLET: You think that's, like, a good IDEA, ev'ryone?
DAISY: Yeah; y'see, this could give us, like, our first VICTORY in the longest time!
MILLY: This is gonna be, like, soo cool!
SSS want to fight!
About time.
SSS sent out GOLDEEN!
DRAGONDAY sent out CHARMANDER!
I think it might've been a mistake to give DRAGONDAY such a small BRAIN.
CHARMANDER used SCRATCH!
On FRED!
OWWW!!! OUUUCCCHHH!!!
Will FRED ever learn?
Wish I would...
GOLDEEN used PECK!
CHARMANDER fainted!
DRAGONDAY cursed itself for not going to a POKÉMON CENTRE for who-knows-how-long!
Well, it was either not go, or face NURSE JOYCE.
CHARMANDER, return!
DRAGONDAY demands to know why GOLDEEN can use a FLYING-TYPE ATTACK?
Oh...
DRAGONDAY sent out DRAGONDAY!
GOLDEEN was renamed FLYING FISH!
FLYING FISH used FLY!
FLYING FISH flew up high!
VIOLET: Girls, make sure that GOLDEEN doesn't, like, fly away!
DAISY: But, like, we've soo closed all the WINDOWS. And y'see, MILLY'S guarding the DOORWAY too.
DRAGONDAY used PROCRASTINATE!
DRAGONDAY put off any thought of ATTACK!
FLYING FISH used FLY!
FLYING FISH flew...right into a WINDOW!
FLYING FISH knocked itself out!
FLYING FISH died!
DRAGONDAY made a DRAGONDAYER NOISE of SURPRISE!
DAISY: At least it didn't, y'know, fly away like you thought it might.
VIOLET: Like, shut up!?
MILLY: Was that, like, a QUESTION or...
DAISY: We soo have to win this BATTLE! Come back, GOLDEEN! Your turn, DEWGONG!
GOLDEEN no longer exists!
FLYING FISH has been fried by the hot WINDOWPANE!
DAISY: Darn these, like, hot DAYS!
Go, DEWGONG!
DRAGONDAY used THUNDER WAVE!
DEWGONG was paralysed! It may not attack!
I was just wondering, PCM, you're here to control PESTS, right?
You mean DEWGONG is an OFFICIAL PEST?!
Not qui -
DEWGONG suffered DILEMMA of SOME SORT!
Is DEWGONG a WATER TYPE, ICE TYPE, former SEEL, or current DEWGONG?
If a SEAL can't evolve into a DUGONG, how can their POKÉMON EQUIVALENTS do so?
VIOLET: WHAT'S, LIKE, GOING ON?
DEWGONG is confused!
DEWGONG hurt itself in its confusion!
DEWGONG fainted!
We win again!
DRAGONDAY says that FRED can't be included in this VICTORY!
Says who?
DRAGONDAY!
And the PCM and the WEBMISTRESS and the -
Okay, okay.
DAISY: How're we gonna, y'know, get the BADGE from our soo fainted DEWGONG?
VIOLET: How would I, like, know the ANSWER? DEWGONG might've, y'see, swallowed the BADGES in its dilemma!
MILLY: Why do you have to, like, talk like this? If we're gonna, y'know, have a brawl, you could, at least, soo talk brawl-like!
DAISY: Speak for yourself! 'Sides, you're gonna become soo much more like the Runt MISTY if you have those IDEAS!
MILLY: *sniff*
VIOLET: You're using MISTY to insult MILLY?!
DAISY: Yeah, so?
VIOLET: So YOU STOLE MY IDEA!
DAISY: Like, you're a LIAR!
VIOLET: Like, you're a LIAR!
MILLY: I HATE YOU BOTH SOO MUCH!
DAISY & VIOLET: WE HATE YOU SOO MUCH TOO!
DAISY: But I, y'know, hate her more!
VIOLET: No, I hate her more!
SSS was renamed BATTLE DUST CLOUD!
Again, there's an OPPORTUNITY to get outta here, and I plan on taking it!
DRAGONDAY says no one's going anywhere until it gets a CASCADEBADGE!
BATTLE DUST CLOUD rolled over DRAGONDAY!
It's super effective!
BATTLE DUST CLOUD rolled away!
DRAGONDAY? Still want a CASCADEBADGE?
DRAGONDAY...can't be bothered anymore!
Your ANXIETY'S really obvious, if that's what you're trying to hide.
DRAGONDAY gave FRED a deadly look!
Sometimes I wonder if I can have any control over my WORDS...
DRAGONDAY says FRED should be glad it's in an apathetic MOOD!
DRAGONDAY and FRED turn to leave!
This BATTLE had better end now!
DRAGONDAY and FRED exit CERULEAN GYM through the DOORWAY!
So...?
Wait a sec, PCM's PERFECT INTUITION tells it to go somewhere else!
BUT ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TYPE TWO WORDS TO SPARE US NEEDLESS PROBLEMS!
...

Setting: ? Route 6 - A. Dimension/TV Show
Player: Janice [Record: 1-1-0] Last seen: #12, attacking Zubat

JANICE appeared!
JANICE is walking along!
Um...is JANICE supposed to be doing something interesting?
No, don't leave me now!
Is JANICE talking to PCM?!
PEOPLE are always ignoring me! I'm technically a MAIN CHARACTER, and yet I get pushed to the side while that cry-baby paranoid meeeaaannn idiot and his friend, who ran me over and never apologised, TAKE THE SPOTLIGHT!
Maybe JANICE should appreciate it!
But I'm only included for the sake of AMUSEMENT! Even my FIGHT for SOCIAL JUSTICE is made into a JOKE! WAAAHHH!!!
Come out, STARUS!
For crying out loud, calm your TRAINER down!
Oops, bad pun.
*sniff* I can't even keep up with what happens anymore. I just want you to stick around while I look to forward my CAUSE - the elimination of CHARACTERS threatening to oppress us under a TREE DICTATORSHIP!
A...what?!
; ) Keep quiet and give me a chance to sneak up on the ENEMY...
But JANICE is crawling through LONG GRASS and WEEDS to reach a high WOODEN STRUCTURE?
Shhh! I'll demonstrate my AMBUSH technique.
JANICE is crawling towards -
SHHH!!!
JANICE is crawling towards WOODEN STRUCTURE!
JANICE bumped into the bottom of a WOODEN FENCE POST!
Watch this. FOR THE GOOD OF AZURE VERSION!
JANICE used AXE!
AXE is hacking into WOODEN FENCE POST!
This could take forever...
...
Does JANICE know that PCM is still around?
No?
PCM may as well go and do something more worthwhile!
I really can't see why she'd care about getting attention or not...But if there's anyone else like her around here, maybe I should consider a PRO-DEVELOPMENT ENVIRONMENTAL POLICY...

Setting: Cerulean Gym (C. City) - A. Dimension/TV Show
Player: Fred [Record: 3-4-0] Last seen: earlier, leaving Cerulean Gym

Good, you're back! Now just say something along the lines of 'BATTLE ended!' and we'll all be on our way!
DRAGONDAY is tapping FRED!
DRAGONDAY, will you stop bending over and trying to PUSH me down?!
DRAGONDAY is tapping FRED!
STOP PUSHING!
DRAGONDAY won't stop tapping until FRED pays more attention!
WHAT IS IT?!
DRAGONDAY wants to get away now!
IF YOU DIDN'T JUST WASTE OUR TIME FOR SO LONG, WE COULD BE AWAY BY NOW!
DRAGONDAY is freaking out!
What, my yelling scares you? This has POTENTIAL written all over it...
RUSTEPI appeared!
And is almost on top of FRED and DRAGONDAY!
BEWARE MY MIGHTY YELL!
RUSTEPI: RUSTI BRRRIIIEEE!!!
AUUUGGGHHH!!!
Don't bother trying - there's obviously no way for you to out-yell this CREATURE.
Mummy, help me...I don't have a mummy? I s'pose you're right...
???
*ahem* NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME TO PROVE TO US ALL THAT YOU DESERVE TO BE HERE!
WEBMISTRESS? What are you - WEBMISTRESS?
Where'd she go?
Wait, that leather-bound BOOK'S working...
...
...
If I had stayed in that PRISON like a law-abiding person, and not listened to a NARRATOR who wanted me to escape...I reckon my LIFE would've been infinitely better...Even though I was falsely accused...
Do something, REPLACEMENT PERSON!
Shut up; you already had your time as NARRATOR!
BUT I HOPE YOU HEARD THAT!
RUSTEPI is fascinated by such easy PREY!
RUSTEPI thought the WEBMISTRESS would've gone to more trouble to protect her VERSION, instead of seeking help from some useless, incompetent PERSON with POLITICAL ASPIRATIONS -
Huh? Are you talking about me?
RUSTEPI: Briie! >: )
RUSTEPI used SHELL SLAM!
DRAGONDAY fainted!
FRED fainted!

Player: Rustepi [Record: 13-0-0] Last 'battle': ...just then, Wins v. Fred and Dragonday

PCM has had enough!
PCM wants a better ROLE and TITLE!
PCM wants WEBMISTRESS as BACKUP!
Wait, the BOOK'S still working.
...Oh, right.
But what does PCM have that WEBMISTRESS doesn't?
RUSTEPI used METRONOME!
RUSTEPI used SOLAR BEAM!
RUSTEPI is taking in sunlight!
Somehow!
HURRY UP! IF THESE CHARACTERS DIE, THIS WHOLE SITE COLLAPSES!
But PCM wants a PROMOTION - Heeeyyy...
PCM was renamed POLLY TISHAN!
cough Hello dear, valuable, MEMBER of the COMMUNITY!
Briie?
Yes, I'm here to ask you about your concerns about the SOCIETY which we all share, and which I aim to serve once I receive the support which I already have, but is yet to translate into VOTES. So, what do you appreciate about the SOCIETY we are all a part of?
Rusttt...Brie! Rusti briie! Rusti, rust, rust brie piii!
Yes, you're an ENTREPRENEUR and you appreciate the FREEDOM to be one? Fantastic! Here, take these PAPERS outlining my POLICIES regarding the ECONOMY - I know 218 PAGES may seem like a lot, but if you want to play an active ROLE in the COMMUNITY like you'll have to as an ENTREPRENEUR, it never hurts to understand what I stand for. Well, me and my political COUNTERPARTS. Rest assured though, I shall do what is best by the PUBLIC, rather than what may offer myself any personal BENEFITS.
Brie! Rusti brie!
It's true; you must keep up with everything to be successful in a BUSINESS SENSE. The TOOTHPASTE INDUSTRY is extremely FIERCE and COMPETITIVE. It won't be easy making a NICHE in the INDUSTRY, though your IDEA of BLOOD-FLAVOURED TOOTHPASTE is amazing in its originality.
Rusti... O_O;;
Anyway, enough ADVICE from me. What would you like changed, for SOCIETY to improve?
Rust...Brie, rust, rustiii.
You want MURDER and other such matters to be no longer considered OFFENCES? In that case, consider a few pieces of INFORMATION about what I see in the area of LAW REFORM - if you just want the SUMMARY, I can cut this pile of PAPERS down to about 1164 PAGES, then I'll talk about the rest. It'll take 165 HOURS, 42 MINUTES and 14 SECONDS, at most.
o_O;;; Briiieee...
Oh, please don't be daunted by my POLICIES. I'm just like anyone else you've met, except my PASSION lies in PUBLIC SERVICE. And I'm simply offering you recommendations that you can follow to increase the chances of your ENTERPRISE succeeding and thriving in the current ECONOMIC CLIMATE, if you want them.
o_O;;;;;;;;;;
BRRRIIIEEE!!!
...
'RUSTEPI ran away...across the WORLD...towards the HORIZON...where there happens to be a PORTAL which has never been truly explored...said to either lead to the NETWORK or to a PSYCHO DENTIST...'
Wow, I never I knew I could ad lib like that. This ought to earn me some PUBLIC CONFIDENCE.
POLLY TISHAN has proven herself!
I'm assuming this is your way of expressing relief and delight.
POLLY TISHAN's ROLE of PCM is withdrawn!
HEY!
POLLY TISHAN is appointed as the new AZURE VERSION NARRATOR!
Ooh, heaps of POWER and AUTHORITY - and practically no PAPERWORK!
WEBMISTRESS has to leave! It's almost time to UPDATE!
Okay. Let's see...Assuming TIM is still having problems with WEEDLE and PINSIR, and JANICE is still hacking away at the WOODEN STRUCTURE - that reminds me, I've got JANICE's LOGGING EXPLOITS to thank for the PAPER, so I owe her a favour. Hmm...

Note: Battle 17 actually landed up giving Azure Version a 6/6 BQ score for the first time ever. ^_^

Backtrack: The last-minute tactic worked, with Polly Tishan managing to get rid of the terrorising Rustepi. Life looks as though it can return to 'normal' soon - but a few things have to happen first.

Battle #18: Tying Up Loose Ends March 3, 2001
Setting: Still somewhere we've been - A.Dimension/Reality
Player: Tim [Record: 1-3-1] Last seen: #17, stuck with arguing bug Pokémon

NARRATOR seeks INSPIRATION!
The last thing NARRATOR needs is to fail in her FIRST BATTLE!
Y'know, a fail-proof way could involve SHUTTING UP WEEDLE AND PINSIR!
THEY'RE DRIVING ME COMPLETELY CRAZY!
TIM'S just exaggerating!
I AM NOT! EVEN THIS PEBBLE AGREES WITH ME!
o_O;; TIM needs his MEDICATION.
TWO PILLS are jammed into TIM's THROAT!
TIM fell over!
More spinning STARS? Where can they be from?
CAR of NO PARTICULAR DESCRIPTION appeared!
WEEDLE and PINSIR shoved TIM into the BACK SEAT!
How'd they manage that?
Ow! STARS were just thrown out of their spin!
Um...WEEDLE and PINSIR shoved each other into the FRONT SEATS!
CAR started driving by itself!
Told you NAR-RAY-TER...Everything agrees with me...See? I'm being driven crazy...
WEEDLE and PINSIR are fighting over the STEERING WHEEL!
This is really weird.
WEEDLE says that it should be allowed to drive because its MOTOR and COORDINATION SKILLS are at a higher LEVEL than PINSIR's!
PINSIR says that WEEDLE'S too small to hold onto the STEERING WHEEL properly!
...What's happening? Hey, slow down and make this CAR drive in a STRAIGHT LINE!!!
WEEDLE and PINSIR yell at TIM for being a typical BACK-SEAT DRIVER!
Ow, BUGS that SCREECH...Can't PINSIR at least take the STEERING WHEEL and WEEDLE deal with the other things?
PINSIR is happy!
WEEDLE yells at TIM for taking sides!
WEEDLE wants to fight!
In here? I don't think that's a good IDEA.
WEEDLE yells that TIM doesn't have much SENSE in his MIND anyway, so he shouldn't bother thinking!
Hey!
WEEDLE jumps up from the FRONT SEAT...and onto the ACCELERATOR!
CAR's SPEED greatly rose!
AUUUGGGHHH!!!
NOW WHO'S THE SENSELESS ONE?!
BRICK WALL appeared!
And is getting closer and closer and closer -
SOMEONE STEP ON THE BRAKE!
PINSIR turned the STEERING WHEEL!
WEEDLE flopped onto the BRAKE!
CAR braked!
CAR also broke!
CAR was renamed MECHANICAL JUNK!
YOU BOTH NEARLY GOT US KILLED!
WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELVES?
WEEDLE and PINSIR are sorry they didn't have DRIVER'S LICENCES?
>.< I give up. I'm stuck with insane BUGS.
PINSIR says that WEEDLE should've been more careful, and that only PINSIR's SKILLS saved their LIVES!
WEEDLE says that if it had the STEERING WHEEL, none of this would've happened!
Here we go again...
WEEDLE wants to fight!
PINSIR wants to fight!
WEEDLE and PINSIR want to know if TIM'S taking sides with the ENEMY!
Uh, just start without me. I sorta need to get out of this SEATBELT first.
But there aren't any SEATBEL -
Shut. Up.
...
WEEDLE sent out WEEDLE!
PINSIR sent out PINSIR!
PINSIR demands to know why WEEDLE gets to go first?
Can the WEBMISTRESS say that louder?
...So what if WEBMISTRESS lost her VOICE?
...
...OW! You didn't have to shove that PAPER in my FACE!
...Oops, forgot the RESPECT thing. Okay.
ahem BECAUSE WEEDLE APPEARED IN AZURE VERSION FIRST!
WEEDLE is happy!
But still wants to fight!
WEEDLE used STRING SHOT!
STRING has shot VARIOUS FAMOUS PEOPLE!
STRING was sent to PRISON!
WEEDLE started crying and saying that it never knew STRING was going to become a CRIMINAL!
You know what they say, 'Spare the ROD and spoil the CHILD'...Did the PEOPLE in the MENTAL INSTITUTION say that? Oh great, my PAST is coming back to haunt me...
PINSIR used SYMPATHY!
PINSIR's defence greatly fell!
WEEDLE used FURY ATTACK!
WEEDLE is furious!
WEEDLE poked at PINSIR!
PINSIR is annoyed!
PINSIR takes back any SYMPATHY for WEEDLE!
PINSIR's defence returned to its usual LEVEL!
Is this BATTLE supposed to go somewhere?
BATTLE went...in a RANDOM DIRECTION!
BATTLE arrived at the top of the pile of MECHANICAL JUNK!
LET ME OUT OF HERE!
Why doesn't TIM just climb out?
BECAUSE MY SEATBELT'S STILL STUCK!
o_O;;
AND STOP MAKING THAT FACE!
NARRATOR has to go and see WEBMISTRESS about the strength of the MEDICATION.
WEEDLE says DIE!
PINSIR says DIE!
PINSIR grabbed onto WEEDLE!
WEEDLE slipped out of PINSIR's grip!
WEEDLE kicked PINSIR!
Very violent.
Does NARRATOR detect SARCASM?
NARRATOR can fix that!
LEAVE IT! I LIKE SARCASM TO STAY LIKE THAT!
WEEDLE and PINSIR were renamed BATTLE DUST CLOUD!
TIM is caught in MECHANICAL JUNK!
MECHANICAL JUNK is caught in BATTLE DUST CLOUD!
Draw your own CONCLUSIONS!
NeedtofindaweaknessinthisNARRATOR -
DON'T EXPECT ME TO VOTE FOR YOU!
NARRATOR isn't sure she still wants to enter POLITICS anyway!
Darnit -
BATTLE DUST CLOUD is rolling away!
BOTTOMLESS PIT appeared!
BATTLE DUST CLOUD fell into it!
AUGGH...
Something tells NARRATOR that this could take some time...
NARRATOR leaves to find something better to do!

Setting: ? Route 6 - A.Dimension/TV Show
Player: Janice [Record: 1-1-0] Last seen: #17, attacking Wooden Fence Post

JANICE is still hacking into the WOODEN STRUCTURE!
You weren't expecting me to just give up, were you?
But this WOOD is already DEAD!
It is?
NARRATOR would hope so!
That doesn't sound like much of an ANSWER.
NARRATOR meant YES!
YAY! JUSTICE WINS OUT AGAIN!
AJ appeared!
Who?
AJ just got back from a POKÉMON JOURNEY!
And isn't happy with some stupid AXE-WIELDING GIRL hacking into his PROPERTY!
Your PROPERTY was asking for it! It and its colleagues have inflicted enough suffering on HUMANITY!
...NARRATOR just got a couple of NOTES from WEBMISTRESS!

1. How did JANICE go with attacking the ZUBAT?
2. Does JANICE realise that she's the only CHARACTER in AZURE VERSION to be attacked by a TREE, actually controlled by a weird ENEMY of WEBMISTRESS'?

Setting: Cerulean City - A.Dimension/TV Show
Player: Fred [Record: 3-5-0] Last 'battle': #17, Loss v. Rustepi

How does NARRATOR revive FRED and DRAGONDAY?
Will 'FRED and DRAGONDAY regained consciousness' work?
Uggh...These STREETS sure aren't lonely anymore...Ow!...You'd think these CERULEAN CITY RESIDENTS would notice me and a DRAGONDAY on the FOOTPATH...
CERULEAN CITY RESIDENTS was shortened to CCRs!
DRAGONDAY thinks CCRs are rushing and paying MONEY to see the SSS (aka BATTLE DUST CLOUD) in CERULEAN GYM!
Who're they paying...
DRAGONDAY shrugs!
Several CCRs tumble onto the FOOTPATH!
And were renamed FALLEN CCRs!
CCRs #2 trample them!
FALLEN CCRs trip CERULEAN CITY RESIDENTS #2 over!
CCRs #2 join FALLEN CCRs!
I'm still being trampled...Just start a VICIOUS CIRCLE or something...
NARRATOR used VICIOUS CIRCLE!
CIRCLE viciously makes all FALLEN CCRs trip up all other CCRs!
FOOTPATHS and STREETS are covered in FALLEN PEOPLE!
Hey DRAGONDAY...We'd better start getting out of here quickly...I'm not waiting for the STREETS to start hugging PEOPLE or do something just as strange...
FRED and DRAGONDAY stood up and are walking - no, stumbling - through CERULEAN CITY!
AZURE VERSION POLICE UNIT appeared!
This had better not involve PRISON...
OFFICER JENNIFER #4 says FRED and DRAGONDAY are under arrest for JAYWALKING!
JAYWALKING?
OFFICER JENNIFER #2 also accuses FRED and DRAGONDAY of being connected to JEN and #3's DISAPPEARANCE!
You can't blame us for your own INCOMPETENCE...
...You want me to do something?
...Yes, I hope you get your VOICE back too.
'This is an official PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT: the WORLD of POKÉMON is in a state of DISARRAY, with the latest INCIDENT being a destructive DUST CLOUD, which has been through the area of MT MOON...'
POLICE UNIT ran for their BIKES!
Now we really do have to get out of here...Hope the FALLEN CCRs get up in time...
DRAGONDAY never knew FRED cared about other PEOPLE at all!
Shut up...My MIND'S scrambled so much I can't even figure out my CHARACTER anymore...NARRATOR, don't put off the end of the BATTLE this time, please...
But...
FRED and DRAGONDAY were poked in the DIRECTION of the BOTTOMLESS PIT!
Hey! I'm not going near a destructive DUST CLOUD or a BOTTOMLESS PIT!
DRAGONDAY agrees!
Beware the POKE!
FRED and DRAGONDAY were poked again!
OW! What's the obsession with poking?!
If FRED can't reach his own CONCLUSION, there's no POINT in telling him!
I'm not scared of a silly POKE! I'll just avoid it! Ready, DRAGONDAY?
DRAGONDAY says it'll avoid it when it likes!
DRAGONDAY adds that it senses a strange RESULT and FRED would be wise to go along with the poking!
Here's where the MAIN CHARACTER wins out! Me, use AVOID!
FRED can't avoid being poked by HIGHER AUTHORITY!
: b
DRAGONDAY still expects the strange RESULT!
What 'strange RESULT'?
DRAGONDAY insists that WEBMISTRESS won't be able to resist the immense POWER of THE PHRASE!
'THE PHRASE'?
...WEBMISTRESS writes that it's unfair to talk about someone who can't speak!
Actually, it's great fun. If no one explains to me what THE PHRASE is, I'll just have to go and tell everyone how the 'SUPREME WEBMISTRESS of AZURE VERSION has lost her VOIC -'
FEATHER DUSTER appeared!
FEATHER DUSTER used WHACK!
'- E!'
WHACK
FRED and DRAGONDAY were whacked into...How should NARRATOR know? NARRATOR doesn't own the FEATHER DUSTER!
...What is with the FEATHER DUSTER?
NARRATOR will end the BATTLE here if WEBMISTRESS doesn't say something!
...Fine! Don't talk!

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