Hilarious Jokes Part IV

Can I borrow a dog?

One Fall day, Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse, was a second hearse which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file.

Intrigued, Bill went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse. "My wife," the man replied. "I'm sorry," said Bill. "What happened to her?" "My dog bit her and
she died."

Bill then asked the man who was in the second hearse. The man replied, "My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as well."

Bill thought about this for a while. He finally asked the man, "Can I borrow your dog?" To which the man replied, "Get in line."

The Beast

A wife was berating her husband. He motioned for her
to quiet down saying, "Don't unleash the beast in me!"

The wife snickered and replied, "Unlike a lot of women,
'dear', I'm not the least bit afraid of a *mouse*."

Who'll Sacrifice?

Eleven people were clinging precariously to a wildly swinging
rope suspended from a crumbling outcropping on Mount
Everest.

Ten were blonde, one was a brunette.

As a group they decided that one of the party should let go.
If that didn't happen the rope would break and everyone
would perish.

For an agonizing few moments no one volunteered.

Finally the brunette gave a truly touching speech saying she
would sacrifice herself to save the lives of the others.

The blondes applauded.

September 11

The Prime Minister of China called President Bush to console
him: "I'm sorry to hear about the attack. It is a very big
tragedy.

"But in case you are missing any documents from the
Pentagon, we have copies of everything."

Origin of Intellegence

A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my
intelligence come from?"

The father replied: "Well, son, you must have gotten it from your
mother, 'cause I still have mine."

Shave or Haircut?

Miser: How much for a haircut
Barber: Rs 15 sir

Miser: o.k,how much for a shave
Barber: Rs 8 sir

Miser: Well, shave my head

Are You Kidding?

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person
asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting
salary were you looking for?"

The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year,
depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of
5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental,
company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company
car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"

The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

Operation

A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept
complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache.

Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly
reason why he should be complaining of a headache.

Finally his nurse, fearing that the man might be suffering from some
post-operative shock, spoke to the doctor about it.

The doctor assured the nurse, "Don't worry about a thing. He really does
have a bump on his head. About halfway through the operation we ran out
of anesthetic."

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Read Jokes Part I
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Read Jokes Part IV
Read Jokes Part V