Fun Things To Do At A Park
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Welcome all u evil-doers to another text from Anarchists Anonymous. This one
is entitled " Anarchy-Related things to do in a Park." This is very useful if
one day yer bored and you want to have some fun. The text has been divided
into two parts: Day Time Phun, and Night Time Phun. This was necessary because
some of the ideas are not the brightest friggin thing to in the broad daylight.
Or some of the things in the daytime don't work in the night. L8r...
DAYTiME PHUN
- Simply getting a gang of people, going to a park where little kids are play
ing, and hogging all the equipment is a real fun, to both the kids and
the supervising parents. Maybe if yer lucky, one of the parents will complain
to you and yer gang. Then you can have fun and insult them during your fight
with them. Eventually, you will chase all the parents away.
- During yer stay at the park with the kids and parents, you can use immense
quantities of abusive language. ( In other words, swear until your tongue
falls off.) But don't direct it at the kids, unless absolutely necessary,
because one of the parents will probably say something like " Don't talk
to my son/daughter that way!" and ask for yer address. Leave the scene with
out giving NE namez. If you are forced to, use some lamer's name.
- If there are kids around but no parents, start a fight but don't throw the
first punch. That way, if the kids goes off and cries to his mommy, you can
say he/she threw the first one. This is enjoyable and fool-proof, and you
get to see the kid get in trouble by his parents. If you want, you can start
laughing at him while he is promptly verbally bashed by the old crone.
- Setting small fires with newspapers in the parks is often really cool. Just
set fire to it, and walk away. The people hanging around will probably spaz
and try to put it out in many different and often creative ways, such as
dipping a kid in sand and drowning the flame, or getting the fattest bitch
there and crushing the entire park. :)
- If you want to enhance idea number 4, you can line a trail of papers all over
the park--around the park, through the sand, down the slide, etc. Coat the
papers in gasoline, and lit one end. Almost instantly the papers will go up
and the park will be ablaze, neatly and in a line of course. If there is a
forest or something nearby, hide in it and make sure you can see the park
clearly, so you can also see the havoc displayed. (Firemen, police, worried
neighbors, and maybe even an ambulance!)
- You could just write generally disgusting or funny pictures and/or messages
on the wood or slide. Influence the kids that go there to become Anarchists
because kids are vulnerable to such ideas at young ages. Remember, the more
the merrier!
- Burn large holes in the top and bottom of slide, so the kids get to the
tom of the slide a lot quicker. Also you could burn neat designs into the
slide, such as a pentagram, an Anarchy Symbol.
- Cut the chains on the tire-swing, just enough so that the next person who
uses the tire-swing will get a shock from the fall, and a headache from the
chains collapsing on their head. This will also force the injured person(s)
to sue the city's parks and rec department, and then the parks and rec will
spend even more money replacing the damaged material.
- Stroll around the park (and the city) for hours on end in the typical nazi
position, which is: right hand in the air, small fake black moustache, the
arm patch, and the docs with red laces. Also shout Hail Hitler! in perfect
synchronization so it sounds like you're all reminants of the german army
or really screwed up. If your lucky, others will join in.
NiGHT PHUN
- If you can get a hold of an air wrench, this is definitely a great thing to
do. Get a group of friends who are really strong, and take the air wrench to
the park. Now remove the bolts on the side of the slide that attach it to the
wooden frame of the park. You and yer really strong friend would now proceed
to take the slide out of the park, and into a lake somewhere. Don't forget to
write THIS WAS DONE BY and then someone else's name, just to get them blamed.
- If yer friends are REALLY REALLY strong, or you can steal or get a pickup
truck, you can also take the actual wood from the frame and put it in the
back of the pickup truck. Also take the slide and the swing, and dump it ALL
in the fringing lake.
- Burn the park. Simple, yet effective, plus it also attracts many sleepy and
unhappy neighbourhood parents. It also pollutes and attracts many "authour-
oties" and others. Get out the eggs and whip them from a far distance and be
prepared to hide or run!
- Using the Air Wrench, if you got one, and yer big friends, you can absolutely
rearrange the park! Just un-wrench all the bits, and place 'em in a different
position, Such as putting three or four bits o' wood at the end of the slide
so the kids have a big pile up because nobody can get through!! Maybe a 2 or
3 deaths or injurys/suffications may occur if nobody notices after a while.
- If you happen to dislike a few little people or just wanna have plain fun,
grab three or four kids and hide em in the forest until late at night. Your
identity should be hidden-- if the kids get loose they can arrest you. NEway,
Tie the kids to different poles of the park and leave them there overnite.
Leave maybe a slice of pizza in the middle of the park, that way at least you
can say you fed them. If you really hate them you should tie them to the
piece of wood that travells horizontally about 10 ft in the air--it should
be the one that holds the swing. Beat em dizzy if ya want.
- Create the park a really unstable hellhole. Use your air wrench or just
regular old power tools or axe or whatever--just make sure it can cut through
and/or remove the bolts. If you got an air wrench, loosen every single bolt
in the entire park, and then unscrew them even more, so a couple of shakes
and steps will make it dislodge itself from it's resting spot and the kid(s)
will very much hurt after a while. If you just have a saw, axe, or power tool
simply cut enormous holes and gaps in everything there. Take the swing too.
- Coat the park in a thick layer of tar. This way, by the time somebody notices
the black park, it will be too late. The park will be concrete--completely
ruined. This will cost the local Parks & Rec department a fortune to replace,
and it will be a fortune they don't have it you do it to every park in the
city over a period of several days. They will probably go bankrupt, and have
to cause a hell of a situation to get back in business, all because of you
and your friends. That just sounds cool, doesn't it?
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