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Page 7: Wheels of Thunder Doom

It would be easy for you to become discouraged at this point. But let us not forget that for which we are searching: a place where the boogie flows like wine and the Hot Mommas flock instinctively like the swallows of Capistrano. I'm talking about a little place called Funkytown: the promised land for which you have sought all of your life. Or maybe just the past week, I can't really remember.


At any rate, you are still stranded in Outer Space McDonalds. You examine the Fargate again. You remember something about a certain knob being broken and getting polio. You also remember dying a gruesome death and being farted on by a professional wrestler.
Ignoring these gaping plot holes, you find another knob on the other side of the Fargate! (another plot hole?) One side of the knob says "Polio." The other side says "Not polio."


Apparently, another side of the knob has something to do with the movie Ghostbusters 2. You turn the knob slowly, careful not to break it, towards "Not polio." I think that's a splendid idea.
Before leaving, you decide to seek counsel from the  great sage: The Grimace. You walk up to the counter and express your desire to recieve The Grimace's blessing. Upon your mention of his name, however, everyone around you lets out a melodramatic gasp. The man behind the counter whispers for you to follow him.
He leads you into a room in the back and you both sit down at a table. "I can see that you are both cunning and stupid," says the man. Clearly this man is an idiot, but you let him continue anyway. "As you can see," he says, "The Grimace is not here. About a week ago he was kidnapped and is now being held hostage. Who took him and where they are keeping him we do not know. But without The Grimace's protection, we are likely to be attacked by the Hamburglar." You swear on your life to save The Grimace at all costs. For without The Grimace, hope for all mankind is lost.
You return to the Fargate. You check to make sure that the switch is set to "Not Polio" and you enter the Fargate on your Wheels of Thunder Doom.
Like before, lights dance around you as you travel through the Fargate. Finally the fog machine stops and you can see around you. At this point, I should point out that nothing really surprises you anymore. That having been said, you find that you are no longer your former self, but a pixelated 8-bit version of yourself. Could it be that you are trapped inside the game Mario Brothers?

What do you do?

If you try to save the princess turn to page 8.
If you put in another game cartridge turn to page 9.
If you find a way out of this 8-bit nightmare turn to page 10.

Place bets now!!!


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