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Page 14: Waiting It Out

What to do!? Clearly someone slipped you a mickey, and now you're bound, gagged, and trapped inside someone's car. All that's left is to wait until they come back to get you. To pass the time, you sit back and hum the theme to Alf. Man that was a great show. While you're humming (and actually having a pretty good time...) You hear the trunk open. An individual with very strong arms lifts you out of the trunk and carries you. He carries you a very long distance, and you wonder why he didn't just pull the car up to wherever it is he's carrying you. You get bored again, so you start humming the Alf theme some more. Oddly enough, your captor is humming along with you. He has a very deep bass voice, although you do not recognize it. What a wierdo.
Finally, he throws you down. Ouch. Your nose still hurts.
The moment of truth.... he takes off your blindfold and.....
The lights are off, so you can't see. You sense a very large looming figure hovering over you. You can hear him breathing.... Then he speaks.
"What do you want from me?"
That's kind of a strange question. You say, "What do you mean, you freaking psycho!?!? Weren't you the one who bound and gagged me and put me in your trunk?"
He repeats his question: "What do you want from me?"
Okay, this is getting ridiculous. Your eyes finally grow accustomed to the darkness. But just as they do, he flips on the lights. What a jerk.
Finally your eyes re-acclimate to the new lighting conditions. Imagine your surprise when you see... looking down at you with a smug grin...
(scroll down to see the answer)
























Dun dun DUH!!!!



Who would've guessed? Maybe me, but I wrote this whole stupid thing.
He says to you, "I've brought you here, Neo, to tell you about the Matrix."
"I'm not Neo," you inform him.
"You're not Neo...?" He stares at you blankly for a minute. "I think I just made a big mistake...."
"But," you interject before he can throw you out of his house, or the Matrix, or wherever it is that he's brought you, "I have been looking for you, oh Wise One."
He seems intrigued by this. "Yes... I see..." he mutters. "Well, I'm afraid you might be a little dissappointed to find that I am not what you think I am."
His rebuttal confuses you. Then you start laughing hystericaly because you said "butt." You're an idiot.
He continues, "I will just come out and tell you, because that's what people do in these kinds of stories. I've been working with the Hamburglar laundering money from Ronald. Things were going perfectly until the Constable caught on to our little scheme. It was easy enough to have the Constable killed, but then there was Ronald. He became a little too curious after his beloved Constable didn't show his fat BigMac head for a few days. As a preventative measure, we kidnapped Ronald and are holding him in Funkyland. The Ronald you met earlier was an android. And now, you've come along to ruin our plans. Travolta told me about you. How you cried like a little girl when he punched you."
"NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" you scream, unable to hold back any longer. "It can't be! It just can't be! You're not my father!"
He slaps you. "Get ahold of yourself! Don't you realize you're being manipulated? Why do you think you've made so many eighties and nineties pop-culture references over the past two weeks? We've been watching you:  we know all about you! So now, I present you with a choice: join with me and have free meals for the rest of your life, or die by my hand: right here, right now!"
You're still really mad that Travolta is telling people that you cried like a little girl, so without thinking, you blurt out "Bring it, Fatty!"
The world swirls around you (you now understand that it's the abilites of The Grimace that cause this to happen) and you find yourself inside the Sega Genesis game "Mortal Kombat 2"

Suddenly, you become terrified. It didn't occur to you that The Grimace is huge. How will you get out of this one?

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