What was it that I felt as a child
Put on a bus and sent away from home
As I left my home to live with strangers.

Did I smile and pretend
That I wasn't dying inside of shame and guilt
From being trapped in a situation I could not win

Did I pretend it was some grand adventure
Did I sit and stare out the window unseeing
Unaware, lost in my own black thought.

Black -- that's all I see now -- I know it happened
But have no evidence except school records
And memories of foster care and missing all of them.

Did I look up at the stars or daylight sky?
Did I sleep along the way or talk to seatmates?
Did I eat or drink? And what happened to my clothes?

The questions lie unanswered
The only evidence of a memory blocked for 30 years
The loss that child felt -- at losing everything.