Two drummers walked into a bar, which seems rather peculiar since you would figure the second guy would have seen it first.
How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb? One to hold the bulb while nineteen drink until the room spins.
How can you convince a drummer that a pound of feathers is different than a pound of bricks? First drop a pound of feathers on his right hand and then a pound of bricks on his left hand. Then ask which hand plays his drums best.
How do you make a drummer slow down? Put a sheet of music in front of him.
How do you make a drummer stop playing? Put notes on the sheet of paper.
Did you hear about the drummer who finished high school? Me neither.
Johnny: "I want to be a drummer when I grow up." Mother: "But Johnny, you can't be both."
How can you tell when a drummer is at the door? The knocking speeds up, and he never knows when to come in.
What does an average drummer get on an IQ test? Drool.
What do you call a drummer when he breaks up with his girl-friend? Homeless.
What did the professional drummer say when he got his first job? Would you like fries with that?
Questions that have often puzzled me.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, must the rest drown too?
Is it true that migrant workers drive low-riders so they can cruise and pick lettuce at the same time?
When you mix holy water with castor oil do you have a religious movement?
When one in a gay couple is a dentist, does that mean that the other has his own tooth-fairy?
Is it true that one can recognize Italian airlines because their planes have hair under their wings?
Do they really have designer condoms on the market called Sergio Preventa?
Is it true the rich throw away their garbage in plastic see-through bags so the homeless and poor can go window-shopping?
Did God really invent golf so white people could dress up like black people?
Do you really get a dildo when you cross a deer with a pickle?
Is "Nork nork!" really the sound you get when you anger a bull with a cleft-pallet?
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