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A fellow walks into a bar carrying a shopping bag and finds himself an empty stool. Sitting the shopping bag down on the bar, he settles himself and the bartender asks, "What'll you have?" Then he notices that the bag moved as though something alive was inside it. He makes a face to himself and then proceeds to the task of filling the man's order.

When the bartender places the mug of ale in front of his latest customer, he sees there is still movement coming from within that bag. Curiosity finally gets the best of him and he must ask: "What have you got in the bag?"

The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a small piano, then reaches in once again and this time pulls out a small piano bench. In goes his hand again and with some dexterity, pulls out a foot tall man. The man sits at the piano and begins playing.

The bartender says: "Wow, he sure can play that little piano. Where did you get him?"

Without answering, the man reaches once more into that shopping bag and pulls out a little genie lamp. He gives it to the bartender and says, "Here, rub it."

With an unbelieving yet quizzical look, the bartender said, "Is there a real genie in that lamp?"

"You just rub it and see," answers the man.

After the bartender rubs on the lamp for a minute or so, out pops a beautiful genie. "I will grant you one wish and one wish only," she says.

Thinking for only a moment, the bartender says, "OK, I want a million bucks."

The genie disappears and the two wait and wait but still nothing happens. The bartender shrugs his shoulders and just before walking away, since nothing was happening, a duck pops up beside the bar. Then another duck appears and quickly they began popping up all over the room. The bartender looks at the fellow and says, "I think your genie is deaf. I said a million bucks, not a million ducks."

"Yes, I know," answered the fellow. "Do you think I wanted a 12 inch pianist?"

*****
If you are all wrapped up in yourself, you're overdressed.

The ultimate Jewish dilemma.... free pork.


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