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A husband and wife are at home when there's a knock at their door. The guy gets up to answer it. Standing at the door is an enormous cockroach. As soon as the guy starts to speak, the cockroach yells "You idiot!" It smacks him in the face and runs off.

The guy staggers back inside. "What happened?" asks his wife.

"A six-foot cockroach just called me an idiot and smacked me in the face!" he says.

His wife nods sagely: "Yes," she says. "There is a nasty bug going round."

*****

This little boy wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parent's room. Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises and when I look in your bedroom you're bouncing up and down on him."

His mom is taken by surprise and says, "Oh... well... ah.... well, I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again."

Then the boy says, "Well, that won't work!"

His mother, of course, asked, "Why?"

The boy replies, "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up!"

*****

One night a man heard howls coming from his basement and went down to discover a female cat being raped by a mouse. Fascinated by what he saw, the man gained the mouse's confidence with some cheese and then took him next door. The mouse repeated his amazing performance by raping a German Shepherd. The man, very excited by this, was dying to show someone his discovery. He rushed home and woke up his wife, but before he could explain, she saw the mouse, screamed, and covered her head with the blanket.

"Don't be afraid, darling," said the man. "Wait until I tell you about this."

"Get out of here!" cried his wife. "And take that sex maniac with you!"


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