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A lady golfer hit a long drive that sliced over into an adjacent fairway right in the midst of a male foursome. She saw one of the men grab at his crotch and bend over in obvious agony. She rushed over as he partners followed behind. "I'm so sorry," she began after going up to the group huddled around the downed golfer. "Anything I can do to helps?"

"No, the man groaned, "I'll be alright."

"I'm a physical therapist," she continued, ignoring his reply. "Maybe a massage will help. Here, let me try," and she unzipped his pants and began massaging what she found within.

"Really," the man protested, "I'll be just fine."

The woman wouldn't take no for an answer and applied her specialty to the man's very vulnerable area. After some minutes of this, the woman golfer said, "There, now isn't that better?"

"Sure is," responded the downed man, "and the finger you smashed with that drive of yours has stopped throbbing too."

*****
The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stresses the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses will be accepted except illness (with a medical certificate) or a death in the immediate family (with a note from that member). A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?"

The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down, the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."


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