|
|
|
Traumatic child sexual abuse is a major issue which concerns much of society. The long-term effects of child sexual abuse have been well documented by numerous researchers. However, one particular effect that has received little attention is how child sexual abuse may affect the victim's belief in the power of God. Many victims of traumatic sexual abuse experience a type of psychological death which may contribute to a decrease in religiosity and in the belief in the power of God. It seems that some children; a) are taught that there is a God who loves and protects children, b) are repeatedly abused, c) ask God for help and receive none, d) experience a form of psychological death, and e) stop believing that God will save them. The sexual abuse of children has been widely researched (Badgely, 1984; Bagley, 1985; Finkelhor, 1986; Russell, 1986) as well as the long-term effects of that abuse (Bagley & Ramsay, 1986; Briere & Runtz, 1988; Gelles & Straus, 1988; Haugaard & Reppucci, 1988; Meek, 1990). In recent years, sexual abuse has been recognized as a traumatic experience for the child. Everstine and Everstine (1993) present a list of experiences which would result in trauma. Among the traumatic experiences are: being beaten, battered, being held hostage, being raped or molested, being threatened with bodily harm, and being the target of a credible death threat (p.5). Finkelhor and Browne (1986) maintain that experiences such as childhood sexual abuse "alter the child's cognitive and emotional orientation to the world, and create trauma by distorting a child's self-concept, worldview, and affective capacities" (in Finkelhor & ass. 1986). The distortions in self-concept, frequently result in a sense of helplessness, powerlessness and entrapment (Allender, 1992; Summit, 1983; Terr, 1990;), the distortions in worldview result in a sense that the world is not a safe place (Haugaard & Reppucci, 1988; Herman, 1992; Johnson,1992), and distortions in affective capacities result in psychic numbing or dissociation (Briere, 1992; Meek, 1990; Waites, 1993). POWERLESSNESS Finkelhor & Browne (1986), provide an explanation for the intense feelings of powerlessness that occur during abuse incidents. Without permission, the child's body is invaded. The offender uses forms of lies, deceit and trickery to involve the child in the abuse. Over time the child becomes increasingly aware of an in ability to stop the abuse from being repeated. The recurring incidents result in the child continually feeling fearful about another attack. If the child is able to disclose the abuse, the the child is frequently not given the needed help, which reinforces the child's inability to prevent another attack. The psychological impact of this on the child is to increase anxiety and fear. The child's perception of self becomes one of a victim who cannot control the situation (Finkelhor & Browne, 1986). PROTECTION PSYCHIC DEATH In his book Soul Murder, Shengold (1989) states that what happens to a child subjected to "soul murder is so terrible, so overwhelming, and usually so recurrent that the child must not feel it and cannot register it, and resorts to massive isolation of feeling....A hypnotic living deadness, a state of existing `as if' one were there, is often the result." (p.25). Many trauma survivors speak of feeling numb, empty or dead inside. For many children, they simply do not have the cognitive ability to process what has happened to them. The feelings are too raw and must be separated from conscious awareness so the child can continue to exist, resulting in emotional numbing or psychic death. Everstine & Everstine (1993) state that "At the traumatic moment, the person confronts his or her own vulnerability [powerlessness] and eventual mortality [psychic death]" (p.22). The worst possible situation would occur if the event was caused by someone known and trusted. According to Everstine and Everstine (1993) "the victim's world view may be shattered". To the child there is no place of safety. Terr (1990) comments that extreme vulnerability results in a "fear of extinction" (p. 36). She continues "...and I don't mean dying. I mean the fear of being reduced to nothing, of being crushed". The only way a child has to cope with such tremendous vulnerability is to deaden all emotion. Terr states that "Repeated horrifying incidents at home can lead to the same sort of emotional deadening that scars the life of the occasional nuclear bomb victim... The horrors of sexual abuse of children, like those of war, become predictable. Psychic numbing may occur in any child as a response to this predictability." (p.82). As a result of this psychic numing the child may feel in a no man's land -- not dead but not alive either. Researcher and sociologist Diana Russell found that there was a statistically significant relationship between child sexual abuse and religious preference as an adult. She states, "When those [incest survivors] who had rejected their religious upbringing were taken as a percentage of the total number who had been raised with that particular religion statistics reveal a defection rate for incest victims of 53 percent compared with only 32 persent for women with no incest history." (Russell, 1986, p. 119). Russell states that child sexual abuse may be very disillusioning for the victim. After such an experience it may be difficult for a victim to "accept the notion of a just and loving God" (p.120). According to Dr. Judith Herman (1992) traumatized people "lose their trust in themselves, in other people, and in God." She states that in situations of terror people "cry out for their mothers and for God. When this cry is not answered, the sense of basic trust is shattered." (p. 52, 56). Incest survivors interviewed about their belief in a God who could protect them, confirm this loss of trust. Several interviews were conducted with incest survivors. They were questioned about the effect the abuse had on their belief in God. They responded: D.P. "I hated my father for what he did to me. I was afraid of men for years--I guess I still am. I just can't connect a loving father image to God. It's too much of a stretch for me." G.K. "God didn't help me. He didn't stop the abuse -- protect me. I found it hard to believe in Him after that." I.S. "Our family was never very religious. Probably more confused than anything. But after the abuse, I couldn't believe in God. If He was supposed to love me then why didn't He save me. I just decided He didn't exist...wasn't real." L.G. "I was raised Catholic and sent to Catholic schools. The nuns abused me and so did the priest. If that's God's love I didn't want anything to do with it." Their feelings are similar to survivor's quoted in the literature. Elly Danica, incest survivor and author of Don't, (1988) echoes this loss. "I yearn for someone to save me. Yearn for pity. There is no help.... I try to tell my teacher at school. She says: "You are subject to your father in all things. He is your lord as Jesus is your lord. He would do no harm and no wrong. He is right in all things. If you are punished or hurt it is for your own good. If he is too rough it is because he loves you. Pray to Jesus for comfort..." There is no comfort so I pray for martyrdom. At least if I were dead it would be over. (p.15). Literature for incest survivors frequently refer to this same loss of trust in God. Hancock and Mains (1987) quote a survivor; "With my father disliking me and my older brother abusing me sexually, I felt I couldn't trust God or anyone else. My life was full of fears." "I don't feel God really loves me-- and I've been willing to accept that because I haven't felt that I deserve his love..." "I was never able to see God as `Abba' or to have a real understanding of God as Father...I never let anyone into my place of safety because I felt I wasn't worth it--and besides, I couldn't even trust God not to hurt me." (pp. 26, 42, 44). Therapists Feldmeth and Finley (1990) also quote survivors responses to their feelings about God related to their abuse. They responded: I couldn't stop crying. I told God, "I hate you for being a man! I hate you for being a father! I know what fathers do to daughters! I just can't pray the Lord's prayer anymore. I can't get past the connection in my mind between the word father and abusive sex. If I think of God the Father, I think of a man with a penis. It is really hard to accept a heavenly Father when you've hated your real father and have not been able to trust him. When the only father that you ever had used and betrayed you, how can you expect this guy upstairs to do good things for you? (pp. 103-104). Clearly in both the literature as well as personal accounts women who were sexually abused and traumatized as young children have difficulty relating to an image of God as Father. Their ability to trust either specific men or men in general as well as images of men has been serious damaged as a result of betrayal, abuse, and trauma. Some women didn't think they were worthy of God's care. Throughout the literature trauma is linked to child sexual abuse. This type of severe trauma results in intense feelings of helplessness, lack of safety and protection and eventually a form of emotional numbing or psychic death. With no ability to end the abuse either through their own power or by resorting to outside powers, either other persons or even to God, sexual abuse victims frequently feel totally abandoned and find it difficult to believe that there is a just and loving God who will protect them. Clearly more research is needed concerning the effects of childhood sexual abuse on the the spiritual issues that are raised by this type of trauma.
|