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English to Chinese: 1. Are you harbouring a fugitive - Hu yu hi ding2. I think you need a facelift - Chin tu fat 3. I got this for free - Ai no pei 4. You are not very bright - Yu so dum 5. I thought you were on a diet - Wai yu mun ching 6. Your body odour is offensive - Yu stin ki pu 7. See me ASAP - Kum hia nao 8. Small horse - Tai ni po ni 9. I bumped into the coffee table - Ai bang mai nee 10. This is a tow away zone - No pah king 11. I am not guilty - Wai hang mi 12. I have to use the bathroom - Ai go pee Real portion of 'Microsoft Windows' code: while (memory_available){ eat_major_portion_of_memory for (no_real_reason); if (feel_like_it) make_user_THINK (this_is_an_OS); gates_bank_balance++; } Car bumper stickers: 1. My wife's other car is a broom.2. My karma ran over your dogma. 3. Don't drink and drive. If you hit a bump you spill your beer. Marriage jokes: 1. Make love not war...hell do both, get married.2. Man is incomplete untill he gets married. Then he is trully finished. 3. When a newly married couple smile, every one knows why. When a ten-year old couple smile, people wonder why ? 4. Marriages were made in heaven, yeah but so were thunder and lightining. The sex of a computer: Male version: The computer is female due to the following reasons:-1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic. 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. 3. The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you". 4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval. 5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories. Female version: The computer is male due to the following reasons:- 1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless. 2. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem. 3. As soon as you commit to one you realise that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model. 4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. 5. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night. Misc: 1. Humpty Dumpty was pushed !!!2. Parent speak: Money isn't everything but it sure keeps the kids in touch. 3. A fool and his money are my best friends. 4. Gun control is being able to hit your target. 5. If we weren't meant to eat animals, why are they made of meat ? 6. Join the army. Visit exotic places. Meet interesting people, and then kill them. 7. He who laughs last thinks slowest. 8. Confucius says: Man who sink into woman's arms soon have arms in woman's sink. 9. If money could talk, it would say goodbye. 10. Suicide is a way of telling God, 'You can't fire me, I QUIT !'. 11. Don't steal, the government hates competition. 12. To raise your grades, you only have to lower your standards. 13. It's hard to make a comeback if you haven't been anywhere. 14. God made drugs. Man made beer. Whom do you trust ? 15. Jesus saves, but wouldn't it be better if he just invested instead. 16. If Clinton were the captain of the Titanic, he'd say they were stopping for ice ! 17. The only thing worse than being a bachelor, is being a bachelor's son. 18. Rome wasn't built in a day, that's because it was a government job. 19. No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap. Music sites: 1. Rolling Stone2. Yahoo! Music 3. Music Addict 4. Rock Street Journal 5. Bombay Rock Association MP3 music: 1. Lycos MP32. Find Songs 3. Audio Find 4. MP3.com 5. Rolling Stone 6. Play Dude MP3 resourses: 1. Music Match2. Napster 3. Gnutella 4. Napigator 5. Toadnode 6. Windows Media Player 7. Winamp All files are zipped files.
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