Nuclear Toast Web Site

Atomic Archives
Here in the dusty depths of the Nuclear Toast Web Site™, we store entries from years gone by. Some of these links probably won't work; sorry you missed them when they were cool.

 

12.31.2001: New Year's Eve is a night that traditionally results in overconsumption of alcohol. Which, in many cases, leads to the involuntary emptying of stomach contents.

12.28.2001: "Mooning" is a hallowed, if not always socially accepted, American tradition. Now, technology combines geography, photography, and some cheeky people.

12.26.2001: It's the day after Christmas, and all through the house, you want to play more games, so click with your mouse.

12.24.2001: There are many ways to reveal your personality, like handwriting and astrology. This one, of course, is weird. Choose carefully, and in the right order, to get your sushi fortune.

12.21.2001: It's bizarre. It's grotesque. It's graphic. It's disturbing and yet strangely compelling. But what is it exactly? Manhog.

12.19.2001: William Shatner is famous for being both Captain Kirk and a horrible recording artist. But many Star Trek actors have spent time in front of the mike. Hear for yourself.

12.17.2001: Some say wrestling is fake. But straight from their living room to yours are the pictures to prove that it's not, courtesy of the White Trash Wrestling Association.

12.14.2001: There are many known disorders and phobias. One of the strangest is the inability to throw things away. Check out the first known case, then look here and here.

12.12.2001: A guy takes an unusual vacation: he drives around the USA on a historical tour of the nuclear cold war. And gets investigated by the Government. Read his travelogue.

12.10.2001: If there's one thing us pros in the nuclear industry hate, it's amateurs trying to horn in on our action. Not only because of the competition, but also because it's dangerous.

12.07.2001: Lots of people travel during the holidays, a time when money is tight. So how does the budget-minded traveler cut down on expenses? By sleeping economically.

12.05.2001: Christmas shopping for people is hard enough, but what about the dog that has everything? Now available in Lycra, fleece, and waterproof versions: canine bodysuits.

12.03.2001: Two popular subjects on the Internet are Mr. T and the formatted prose of haiku. What do you get when you put them together? I pity the haiku!

11.30.2001: Disneyland draws large crowds of people. People who seem to forget they're in a crowd, making it easier to laugh at them for what they wear and where they sleep.

11.28.2001: The movie "Fight Club" romanticized fighting, but unless you're Jackie Chan, defending yourself is usually neither easy nor successful. Until now.

11.26.2001: Even with the name of this site, it's not like we're obsessed with toast or anything. But some people are. Especially those that worship it religiously.

11.23.2001: After Thanksgiving, food is probably the last thing you want to look at. That's ok, you don't have to eat this food. Just see if you can identify it.

11.21.2001: You've made traditional cakes, and now you're ready to try something new. But what? Two words: meat cake. Complete with recipe.

11.19.2001: The Web can be a shiny, glamorous place with all the Flash animations, spiffy graphics, and CGI scripts. But sometimes you need to kick it old school.

11.16.2001: When you feel the music, there's nothing like a good air guitar jam session. But don't fake it on some cheap imitation. Learn from a pro and play the best: Philson.

11.14.2001 Writing a poem? Penning a song? Are your words getting jumbled, is your rhyming all wrong? There's no need to worry, nothing to fear; you only need point with your mouse and click here.

11.12.2001: Everybody has to buy gifts, and it's always hard to find something both unique and timeless. Until now.

11.09.2001: People love wasting time. And people love popping bubble wrap. Of course, the Internet lets you do both. Added bonus: Annoy your coworkers with the perpetual popping.

11.07.2001: What happens when you cross Fisher Price Little People with a man's geeky obsession for miniature mannequins? It's not a pretty picture. It's a whole lot of them.

11.05.2001: Maybe you've seen how some people "abuse" quotation marks. Now comes a museum where examples of these "quotes" are on display.

11.02.2001: Webcams are very popular on the Internet; lots of people (even some you know) have them. But everybody knows the secret behind the most popular webcams: nudity.

10.31.2001: Happy Halloween! In the "spirit" of the occasion, observe one of the oldest Internet sites, combining webcams and community involvement: The GhostWatcher.

10.29.2001: How do you know if you've been abducted by aliens? Take the quiz, of course. Are pesky aliens probing you telepathically? Put an end to it with a thought-blocking helmet.

10.26.2001: Fishing is a wonderful way to experience the outdoors and pit intelligence against instinct. Even if what you're angling for is not a fish.

10.24.2001: Real men eat meat and drink martinis. And in the search for the perfect martini, nobody has ever thought to bring meat and martinis together. Until now.

10.22.2001: Many games let you play God. But not many let you do it from work, in your browser, as easily and as addicting as this one.

10.19.2001: The game of polo, a sort of mounted soccer, is very popular all over the world. Continuing Monday's theme, here's a polo organization for teams that don't use horses.

10.17.2001: Do bears go in the woods? As it turns out, it's not where the bear goes, it's what. And in this case, "it" is prime stuff.

10.15.2001: There is an organization, somewhere, for almost anything you can imagine. Including one for those that love going barefoot.

10.12.2001: What do you get when you combine a telephone and a kitchen blender?
A world in which you can hear the sentence, "Will somebody answer that margarita?"

10.10.2001: Individuals and organizations of all types use the Internet to raise money. Most are honest about where the money goes, but not many do it just because they can.

10.08.2001: Ever just try to feed yourself and end up burning your masterpiece? Deborah has. And she has the museum to prove it.

10.05.2001: To find things on the Internet, you generally use a search engine. But what do people really type into into that little search box? Find out at the search query hall of fame.

10.03.2001: After you cut off a chicken's head, it can run around for a bit. But what if the chicken kept on running? It happened. And his name was Mike.

10.01.2001: Ah, Nintendo, and the hours spent playing Mario Brothers. So many hours, in fact, that the song seems indelibly burned in my memory. Do you remember?

09.28.2001: Is The Simpsons' Comic Book Guy just a caricature? Or is he a case of art imitating life? Find out how a bright, starry-eyed kid turned into the Gord.

09.26.2001: Geeks like cool toys. Stuff that's interactive. Things that don't necessarily come with instructions and are begging to be investigated. Something like this.

09.24.2001: For many years, mankind has agonized over a terrible question. Now you can see the science behind the lethal Cocoa Puff. (Yes, the guy's name is really Steve Forker.)

09.21.2001: Fans of the submarine sandwich know that Subway recently changed the way they prepare their sandwiches. That made some people mad, and they demand that the original sandwich be restored.

09.19.2001: There was a time when hair was feathered. It was Charlie's Angels, it was One Day At A Time. Although to truly understand feathered hair, you need a real expert.

09.17.2001: In general, we eat what we're used to eating. Sometimes, though, what people in other cultures consider normal food, we consider pretty strange.

09.14.2001: One of the great byproducts of the Internet is its ability to reassure us that some people have way too much time on their hands. But, even knowing that, sometimes it's still surprising what they do.

Flag at half mast09.12.2001: Words cannot express the shock, anger, and sorrow. Words cannot comfort those that suffer the loss of friends, family, and co-workers. Words cannot reassure those now fearful and paranoid. Words cannot quell the media feeding frenzy and our appetite for the macabre.

But... words are all that we have.

There is nothing else to say.

09.10.2001: The Internet makes it easy for people to promote themselves. These days everyone has their own domain name. Even Jesus.

09.07.2001: Word up, G's. It be hard ta chill when da man be all up in yo face 'bout bein' a gangsta. But it's all good if'n yo be hangin' wit yer homies, even if dey all be white, yo.

09.05.2001: What clothes and hairstyle are fashionable? We worry about these things, because we know others do too. But who are these "others?" You might be surprised.

Flying Saucer09.04.2001: The funny thing about the future is it's always showing up before we're ready. Unless you're ready for things like anti-gravity, bionics, UFO detectors, and, of course, flying saucers.

08.31.2001: Haiku is the smallest literary form. The conventional format is three lines, with 17 syllables arranged 5-7-5. If you think that's difficult, try writing movie reviews.

08.29.2001: While it can be fun to ridicule people, it can be more fun to ridicule the things they do to their cars. You'll laugh at everything from "rice" to lice.

08.27.2001: You've played Scrabble. You've had "hands" that were difficult. And then there are those horrible hands that truly punish you. Feel the pain.

08.24.2001: There's one thing everybody wants: mo' money. The real problem we face is where to get it. Well, as long as you have a job, now you can easily double your salary.

08.22.2001: Most big companies on the 'net have an area dedicated to kids. You'd think this would be challenging for a national firearm association. See how kids have fun and learn too.

08.20.2001: Author, singer, actor... and some would say, professional weirdo. While Crispin Glover can be quirky, so can this tribute to him.

08.17.2001: Regardless of your beliefs, you've probably always wished for an action figure of your favorite deity. Now you can have it, at the Web's first theocratic superstore.

08.15.2001: Rap music appeals to a wide group of people, cutting across race and economic lines. Many fans try to imitate their favorite rappers. Some, like Khai, shouldn't.

08.13.2001: Everybody likes to fantasize about making a wish. But sometimes a wish can backfire, as these young'uns find out when they meet the wishing bird.

08.10.2001: Sometimes a word can be funny. And substituting that word in the lyrics of well known songs can be funny too. Even if it's a small word like, say, midget.

08.08.2001: If you've had a relationship, then you have an "ex." When relationships end, things don't always go well. Now bitter breakups are easy with two-ply therapy.

08.06.2001: Public restrooms. We've all used them. They cover a wide range when it comes to quality. The good, the bad, the ugly... it's a picture parade of porcelain.

08.03.2001: Cats are known to be aloof. But can you ever be sure of what they're thinking? This guy is. His cats hate you.

08.01.2001: In the search for the perfect cup of coffee, one man turned to science. A new brewing system lets you control both strength and quality: configurable coffee.

07.30.2001: Advertising constantly exposes us to corporate logos and messages. Luckily for us, making fun of well-known companies and products is the goal of false advertising.

07.27.2001: We all need help from time to time, but here's a place you can get it all: technical, emotional, and moral support. From the experts at Dimbulb, Inc.

07.25.2001: We're always pleased to bring you the latest Internet fads. Remember, you heard it here first, even if you didn't. Everybody sing "Weeeeeee!"

07.23.2001: An advantage of newer, high speed connections to the Internet is the ability to access more content faster than ever. Which is important if you have a lot of humorous animations to view.

07.21.2001: During the dot-bomb implosion, many Web sites have disappeared. But you'll be glad to know that images of the dead are on display at The Museum of E-Failure.

07.18.2001: Many movie stars get their start on TV, but far more vanish into obscurity. Do you ever wonder what happened to the not-so-famous co-star of Bosom Buddies, Tom Hanks?

07.16.2001: Perhaps you've heard of the online game EverQuest. One thing's for certain, the people that play EQ are different. Funny different.

07.14.2001: Everybody fears something. And then, somebody else comes up with a name for that fear. Trust me, unless you suffer from cenophobia, you'll want to see how many there are.

07.11.2001: Sometimes we come across things that even trained professionals can't understand. Well, we're not professionals, but we're pretty sure we don't understand whatever this is.

07.09.2001: Old computer games never die, we just get distracted by new ones. But this being the Internet, there's no need for you to forget underrated PC games from days gone by.

07.06.2001: Everyone sitting in "rush hour" traffic on the freeway or stopped at a red light wishes they could fly over all those other cars. You can, if you have one of these.

07.04.2001: The Toast Reactor is closed for the holiday. The Fourth of July is full of traditions like parades, cookouts, and fireworks. We present a twist on another tradition (summer weddings): sensible wedding shoes.

07.02.2001: Here at the Toast Reactor, we relish any type of baked bread product. In honor of our yeasty brethren, serve yourself some muffin movie madness.

06.28.2001: Many people use Flash on the Web. Some are really good at it. But when you combine Flash with artistry and imagination, you're in Vector Park.

06.25.2001: Do you need protection from mind control devices? Wondering about black helicopters? Confused about metric time? Oh yeah, you know where to go.

06.22.2001: What do you get when you combine a geek, a Java toaster, and the weather report? Why, a forecast you can butter and eat. Bread as a display device.

06.20.2001: We are now NuclearToast.com, the latest e-Reactor on the Internet. Like those other successful dotcoms, we're obsessed with meetings. And today's high-powered meetings require a professional superhero.

06.18.2001: Corporate Web sites can be confusing. Pity the poor designer that has to create a site that is everything to verybody. Sometimes, it works. But often the result is the Web Page from Hell.

06.15.2001: One of the easiest components of a PC to customize is the keyboard. Check out keyboards you can use with one hand and in the dark.

06.13.2001: If you like sci-fi, as most geeks do, then you've most likely been to a convention. And any convention attendee has probably seen people like these.

06.11.2001: If there's one thing geeks do, it's developing stuff you can use to develop other stuff. But sometimes the stuff lets you create stuff you can play with.

06.04.2001: He sings! He dances! Ok, I lied, he doesn't dance. But oh, the way he sings. Not everyone appreciates the talents of child crooner Eugene Mirman

05.31.2001: Do you go through life wondering what gender you really are? If you open your mind and are truthful, you can find out once and for all whether you're a guy or a girl.

05.29.2001: It's hard enough to design slogans for T-shirts. But what if you're trying to come up with fashionable phrases for teenage girls? Consider the possibilities.

Also, added the Tribes page.

05.27.2001: The 1982 movie Tron was about computers before most people knew what they were, and the first with computer-generated scenes. Now you can get your own 3D light cycle game.

05.24.2001: Success is usually imitated, but it also can be made fun of. I hope you're familiar with Amazon.com, because an excellent parody allows the walking undead to order brains online.

05.21.2001: It's fun to play computer games with your friends at a LAN party. But it's a hassle to lug your PC around. Which is why some people go to great lengths to make a PC portable.

05.18.2001: Have you ever wanted to create your own superhero but you can't, well, draw? Once again, the Internet comes to your rescue. Now you can design your own custom superhero.

05.16.2001: Wouldn't it be great if you could drive the open road and fly the friendly skies in the same vehicle? Well now you can. Presenting the one and only Roadrunner.

05.13.2001: First there was the "All your base" craze. Now there's "Found a hobo in my room." It all courtesy of the wacky, zany Hyakugojyuuichi!! (Bonus points if you recognize everything in this video/movie/ LSD trip.)

04.30.2001: If you could have any desk you wanted, what would you ask for. One guy asked for a desk made out of Legos. And believe it or not, there's somebody that knows how to make one.

04.28.2001: Who provides better support for Microsoft products, Microsoft Technical Support or the Psychic Friends Network? Someone has put that question to the test and reports their results.

04.23.2001: One of the benefits of working in the computer industry is free t-shirts. And what would the Internet be without an online museum that pays homage to the history of geek t-shirts.

Arcade PC04.19.2001: You see here the melding of the past and the present. An arcade game cabinet with authentic controls adds a state-of-the-art PC to give you the ultimate office gaming system.

04.15.2001: Combine the Web with geek over-engineering and good old-fashioned mechanical hardware, and you end up with a new twist on the hit counter.

04.09.2001: Ah, the Atari 2600, my first real video game console. But what happens when you take this retro gaming system and combine it with a 1978 VW Scirocco? Why, The Atarimobile, of course.

04.03.2001: There is a lot of candy in the world. But a small percentage of it is horrible and causes untold suffering. Fortunately, brave testers are willing give it a test chew so you don't have to eat bad candy.

03.30.2001: Linguists study language. So you might forgive linguists at Georgetown University for their Web site on animal sounds that, although the same all over the world, differ depending on the language. Really.

03.25.2001: Lots of stuff gets stolen but, for various reasons, isn't returned to its rightful owners. What are the cops to do? Why, auction it off, of course!

03.23.2001: Most people by now have heard of the Darwin Awards and the jet-assisted-car-into-the-cliff story. But every myth and legend is based on a real story.

03.18.2001: Back in the early 1980s, you could buy your very own personal computer. Do you know just how cool that was? Check out some vintage computer ads.

03.10.2001: Computer programmer, software engineer, dotcom startup, blue chip corporation. Whatever your job title and wherever you work, one way to survive is to write unmaintainable code.

Also, some new Atomic Advice.

03.07.2001: The Star Wars trilogy continues to inspire people with too much time on their hands. Witness the entire series painstakingly recreated entirely out of Legos.

03.03.2001: Earthquake update: Our Department of Public Relations Department has assembled an information page on the Rattle in Seattle.

03.01.2001: Bad translations of other languages into English can be funny. But if you're an American living in Japan, Engrish can be hilarious.

02.28.2001: First the Battle in Seattle (the WTO riots) and today, the Rattle in Seattle (a 6.8 earthquake). The Toast Reactor survived unscathed. Check out the seismology link on the Local Fallout page. Pictures coming soon.

02.27.2001: "All your base are belong to us" update. I've received emails asking about the original videogame this cult phenomenon is based on. Wonder no longer.

Stars! beta about box02.25.2001: I can't help bragging. This is the About box for beta release 1 of Stars! Supernova Genesis. That's some good turn-based beta testing lovin'!

02.23.2001: Everyone fears the dreaded Blue Screen of Death. But things that normal people fear, the geeky customize.

AlphaGrip02.17.2001: This cool hand-held unit crosses a keyboard with a mouse, a console gamepad, a cell phone, a TV remote, a computer, and more.

02.15.2001: The newest geek catch phrase sweeping the Internet doesn't make sense, but it doesn't have to when the advertising is this funny. (Requires Flash.)

02.12.2001: Today NASA's "NEAR" spacecraft landed on the asteroid Eros. If you've got satellite envy, do something about it: purchase your own affordable personal satellite.

02.09.2001: From Napster to instant messaging, peer-to-peer, or P2P, is the hot new thing. Now come P2P relationships.

02.03.2001: In addition to being a major pop superstar, it appears that Britney Spears is also an expert in semiconductor physics and lasers. Who knew?

01.30.2001: What do you do when you're a devoted Star Trek fan, but you're Finnish and you can't get Star Trek movies? That's right, you make your own.

01.28.2001: Not that I would ever promote something called The Atom, but it even comes in your choice of colors!

01.26.2001: If you're a geek, you've seen Star Wars. You also know what a DOS box and ASCII characters are. Now appearing on your screen, together for the first time, both of them. And yes, it is the entire movie.

Microsoft Gamevoice01.21.2001: Get yourself a competition racing seat, add the "office base" accessory, and nobody will have a cooler computer chair than you. Get four- and five-point harnesses for that extra authentic touch when playing racing games.

01.09.2001: Everyone's seen those talking and singing bass-on-a-plaque things. Now you can hack your bass and have it say whatever you want.

01.08.2001: Monolith update. The monolith reappeared, some people claimed responsibility, then others joined in.

01.04.2001: If you're reading this page, you should know about the classic movie 2001: A Space Odyssey. New Year's in Seattle saw a 2001-like monolith mysteriously appear and then, two days later, just as mysteriously disappear.

01.01.2001: Happy New Year! As you contemplate the uniqueness of today's date (01/01/01), enjoy the fashion statement of the new millennium.

 

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