Meditation fur Hoomins


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The opening sequence of the "Al Dente" Movement from
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copyright©ClydeSight2.0! - 2001
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Tao of Meow Meditation Guru Widgy
Namaste, gentlecats. We are gathered today, not for a caterwaul -- delightful and philosophically inspiring as they are -- but to learn an impurrtant technique fur helping our purrsons live healthier, happier lives in which they cater to our wishes.

Meditation is the most impurrtant part of the day, as we cats all know. Alas, our purrsons do not seem to have the wisdom to practice this art. Therefore, they have STRESS. It's up to us fabulous felines to guide our hoomin beans toward the proper path, the Tao of Meditation.


Purrson reading paper and getting STRESS STEP 1 -- We must help our purrsons overcome bad habits that lead to common stresses. Fur example, notice the accompanying illustration. In this typical scene, we see the cat in a sensible position conducive to meditation. The hoomin, on the other paw, is engaged in two stressful activities. The furrst is reading a noosepaper which always causes great disturbance to the delicate hoomin nervous system. The second is the beverage mug. While the sages of olden times used coffee and tea to enable them to remain awake fur meditation, many hoomins today consume too much caffeine. This adds to stress and can even cause anxiety reactions.

Help your hoomin: Do NOT allow your purrson to read a noosepaper or consume too many beverages!! Always interrupt these unhealthful activities. Swat the noosepapers; dip your paw into the drink. Purrsevere until your beloved purrson stops acting in such a self-destructive manner.

STEP 2 -- Hoomins need to meditate daily and to go to the same place fur each meditation period. Having a specific place helps them relax and clear their minds of stressful thoughts. It should be a comfortable place without distractions. A place associated with pleasant events such as stroking your fur and admiring your poise and grace.

Chair purrpared fur meditation Help your hoomin: Select a comfortable chair and indicate your selection in a clear manner. Your purrson will utter loud expressions of delight and may even phone friends and relatives to tell them of your thoughtfulness.

Lava Lamp watching aids mediation says Tao of Meow STEP 3 -- The purrson needs to become "centered" for the meditation period and have a mind "clear" of unnecessary thoughts. (We cats nevfur have unimpurrtant or unnecessary thoughts.) Watching meaningless, repetitive motion, such as a lava lamp, is extremely helpful. Softly repeating a mantra also helps keep away stressful thoughts.

Help your hoomin: When your hoomin sits down in the chair you've prepared, immediately jump on the lap and purr loudly. Your weight helps the purrson "center" and purring is well-known to be the most soothing sound in the galaxy. Lie down and take a nap while your hoomin meditates, stroking your fur and chanting the mantra "Goooood Kitty, Goooood Kitty, Goooood Kitty" while watching the lava lamp.


Hoomins beans don't have nine lives, so they need all the help we can give them. We know that it's difficult fur then to get rid of the stresses of their lives, but it's impurrtant that they try. Encourage your purrson to spend about twenty minutes a day (or twice a day, if possible) in simple meditation. It reduces their blood pressure while it increases their happiness. Both will help them live longer, healthier lives.



Dearest furriends, here is a simple meditation developed by my beloved winkwink Master Taliesin, the galacticly renowned Feline Philosopher, based on the teachings of Lao Tzu. Have your purrson sit in the meditation chair and study the following words. Then purr softly while your purrson looks at the snow globe and meditates on their meaning.

The highest excellence is like that of water. The excellence of water appears in its benefitting all things, and in its occupying, without striving to the contrary, the low place which all men dislike. Hence its way is near to that of the Tao.

Who can make the muddy water clear? Let it be still, and it will gradually become clear.


Tao of Meow suggests snow globe watching as aid to meditation


Purrhaps your hoomin will learn how to relax and, like water, seek the low places with which we fantastic felines are so familiar.



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Mitzi made the background, buttons,and bars. Visit Mitzi's page.
Tommye's robe is courtesy of the Royal Artist at dorissimo's domain.
Furniture is courtesy of CatStuff.
Snow globe is courtesy of Action Cat


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