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Mad-as-Hell.Com
influences Fianna Fáil general election
campaign strategy!
It's
surely no coincidence, that after last
year's Mad-as-Hell.Com competition to
find a photo of Donegal's outgoing junior
minister, Mary 'the babe' Coughlan with
her mouth shut, that Fianna Fáil head
office has given her a sexy new
make-over, with her mouth firmly closed.
Rumours that this was the price demanded
by Pat 'idiot name' Gallagher MEP, to
return to Donegal have been strongly
denied.
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Gwen gets off to a poor
start
Thomas Gildea's political horse, his PA,
Gwen Breslin, got off to a poor start,
after she unwittingly suggested that the
Donegal electorate were stupid.
Did she really need to tell us that
independent means non-party?
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Jim White's yer man!
Jim White, Donegal's answer to Britain's
Richard Branson, has returned to the political
scene, hoping to re-take the seat he lost
20 years ago to 'Wee' Dinny McGinley.
No-one will dare ask, in a sarcastic
manner, what did he ever do for Donegal,
like they do with the other main party
candidates. Jim purchased the 2 major
hotels in Donegal Town, creating
employment out of his own pocket, not to
mention his involvment in public safety,
by helping persuade a judge to order the
video taping of night club entrances in
order to prevent over crowding.
One less person in Jim's crowd however,
could be the person quoted in Donegal's
local newspaper, the Donegal Democrat, as
saying that if elected, "he would be
3 or 4 days in Dublin, and be off all our
backs". Let's all hope that was a
missprint, and that Jim won't be
following Tom Gildea's example.
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Hypocritical
selfish bastard
Donegal's
Jim McDaid, medical doctor and outgoing
Irish Minister for Tourism, apparently
believes suicide victims should be
condemed, while welfare cheats should be
rewarded.
Minister McDaid, in an outburst
in front of a youth forum in Donegal (14
to 18 year olds), has called people so
full of despair that they take their own
lives, "selfish bastards"
provoking a media storm. As usual, the
media has missed the full irony of this
statement, by completely ignoring the
fact that in 1996, when a labour force
survey revealed that more than 2 thirds
of Irish welfare receipients were
actually working, he called publicly for
an amnesty for all those caught
committing fraud.
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Irish contraception ban
looms
By Abigail Pope
Women
living in Ireland, are facing the biggest assult
on their rights since the infamous X-Case denied
them the right to leave the country. At
present, article 40.3.3 of the Irish constitution
gives the same rights to a fertilised human egg,
as it does to its human host, a right that many
pro-life groups fought to retain during the
recent referendum on abortion.
At present, there is a case before Irish courts,
to have the so called 'morning after pill'
emergency contraception (usually given to rape
vitims) declared unconstitutional, which, due to
the way that the ordinary contracptive pill is
designed to work, is almost certain to result in it
being declared unconstitutional (as well as all
but barrier methods) should the case succeed.
A similar case in Britain, launched by SPUC, will
also have the same result, effectively
criminalising all but the most basic and
unreliable barrier contraception methods. British
family planning groups have stated that they
suspect this has been SPUC's agenda from the
start. However, should the case succeed in
Britain, there is apparently already emergency
legislation drawn up, to scuttle the religious
fanatics' aims. Unfortunatly in Ireland, no such
legislation is possible without yet another
abortion referendum, bringing Ireland back to the
dark ages of just 16 years ago, when all
methods of contraception were still illegal.
| Tweedledee and
Tweedledum |
 |
So, you've got
a brother who's raped and buggered his
own daughter. What do you do? Well, if
you're in Ireland, you ask a government
minister to help bend the judge's ear of
course.... |
 |
Junior Environment
Minister, Bobby Molloy (pictured right)
has had to resign after being caught out
making several attempts to influence the
judge dealing with such a case, where a
father was ultimately given 11 years for
his crimes. The Minister for Justice,
John O'Donoghue (pictured left), says he
personaly hasn't done anything wrong,
despite 'improper approaches' being made
through his department, and he personaly
exchanging an eventually
admitted total of 15 letters with Molloy
about the case, over a long period in
time.
Taoiseach, Bertie (don't mention the
Sheedy affair) Ahern has described
opposition calls for O'Donoghue to resign
as "rubbish". Quite right too;
the fact that a Justice Minister had
known that his department was being used
by another government minister, who, over
an extended length of time, was trying to
help an incestuous rapist even after
conviction and did bugger all about it,
shouldn't be considered as anything out
of the ordinary. This is
Ireland, after all. |
 Is
this man a liar?
His
name is Dermot Ahern. He's the Irish
Minister for Social, Community and Family
Affairs, and he's said,
"There is no evidence to date of
price rises related to the introduction
of the euro." This is something
every Irish man, woman, child and dog in
the street knows to be untrue. It also
puts into perspective his statements,
that even though official figures show
that only half of those on welfare are
actually unemployed, it isn't indicitive
of widescale fraud.
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 Donegal fishermen are
revolting
Many of Donegal's fishermen are
protesting about the world's largest
super trawler, the Irish owned £50,000,000
Atlantic Dawn, and the recent granting of
a license to fish in Irish waters, saying
that such a large vessel could decimate
our dwindling fish stocks.
Previously, it was considered too large a
ship to be allowed to fish in EU waters,
and had been confined to fishing off the
coast of West Africa, where, known as
'the factory ship from hell', it's been
damaging what is one of the few natural
resources in one of the poorest places on
earth. But now, due to our steadily
depleating fish stock, its been allowed
to fish back home. One old mariner was
heard to shout, "Say what you like
about the f**king Spanish, at least they
don't shit on their own doorstep."
Of course, when the ship originally
entered Killybegs harbour before heading
for Africa, everyone was so happy to see
her, they even paid an entrance fee to
look inside. We reckon that her owner
should have called his ship 'Greed'.....
he'd have saved himself a few quid on
paint.
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Abortion amendment  defeated; race
now on to lose general election?
Ireland's referendum to
prevent suicidal women from availing of abortion
has been voted down by the slimest of majorities,
with Dublin voting 2 to 1 against, and
Donegal embarrassingly leading the rural
pro-suicide pack at well over 2 to 1 for the
proposal, the highest yes vote in the country.
The next government will now have to legislate
for suicidal women to be allowed abortions, or
call for yet another referendum. Considering that
no government has yet had the guts to even stand
up to the lobbies of pro-drink-drive publicans,
drunks and farmers, or the organisation
representing unqualified driving instructors, to
name but two, will any political party want to be
in government next time round?
Prominent government spokesperson on the
referendum, Donegal's Junior Minister, Mary 'the
babe' Coughlan has blamed the media for the 'no'
vote, claiming bias, and more emphasis on the
'no' camp. Does she, or her party, really expect
the media to ignore the likes of Dana, Justin
'jugs' Barrett, and all the other fanatics who
campaigned for a 'no' vote because the amendment
didn't go far enough? Let's face it, on such a
serious issue as legalising abortion, provided
the mother dies also, we needed a laugh.
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New
Donegal garda unit a success!
| Exclusive
to Mad-as-Hell.Com, by Abigail
Pope |
|
 Head of Donegal Five-0,
Donegal's new garda rapid reaction
response unit, Jack McGarrett, has
claimed success against the some of the
problems associated with alcohol abuse. On
its first official operation last week,
it proved beyond doubt that a substancial
garda presence on the roads, prevents
drinking and driving. "For two
hours, we sat in our patrol vehicle,
strategically parked 50 metres down the
road from the Donegal Doleman [Ed
note: a popular Donegal drinking and
entertainment venue] and witnessed
20 to 25 vehicles arrive, but in all that
time, not one fecker left the
premises." said chief McGarrett when
interviewed.
When we interviewed the Doleman's
proprietor, we asked him whether this
action had damaged his trade. "Not
at all, in fact our takings were up by
50%." He explained, "All those
who would normally arrive early in the
evening, and just have a few pints,
before leaving early, stayed on for more,
not wanting to take the risk of being
caught driving under the influence."
"Another bonus, was that for the
first time we can remember, the pub was
empty at closing time." When asked
the reason for that, he laughed and said,
"When the patrol car drove off, 10
minutes before closing time, the punters
couldn't drive off quick enough."
Chief McGarrett told us, "A regular
campaign to end the scourge of after
hours drinking will soon be
underway."
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Uninsured haulier at
large?
A haulier who operates both in
Ireland and Mainland Europe, has
been blacklisted by insurance companies,
due to previous insurance offences,
according to one of our sources.
According to another source, he's now
insured his fleet in a friend's name.
Fianna Fail
activist busted for drunk driving
Mad-as-Hell.Com has learned that
a prominent Donegal Fianna Fail
activist was caught allegedly drinking
and driving over the Christmas/New Year
holidays. If it ever gets to court, we'll
let you know, although don't expect it to
have any effect on his career prospects;
the leader of the Irish Labour Party is a
convicted drunk driver, as are a number
of our public representitives.
Money talks....
dirty
Sources
have told us that a Donegal trawler
skipper has told an official to
"fuck off" after being told
he'd over fished his quota. Allegedly,
the official obliged, albeit
metaphoricaly.
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Dana throws rattle out
of pram
Donegal's MEP, Catholic, fundamentalist
fanatic, Dana, appears to be
attempting to re-introduce Ireland's ban
on contraception (only fully ended 16
years ago) as she's now camaigning against
the new abortion referendum, on the
grounds that the law as it stands,
protects the life of the embryo from the
moment of conception, unlike the proposed
new legislation, which she says will only
protect when it's implanted in the womb.
You may recall that Dana and her cohorts
helped to successfully de-rail the
expansion of the European Union by
persuading some voters to vote against
the Treaty of Nice, claiming it could
legalise abortion.
They also threatened to do the same if
the referendum on the treaty was re-run
before an abortion referendum.
We at Mad-as-Hell.Com, now find it
difficult to think of Dana, without
simultaneously thinking of a baby
continually throwing its rattle out of
its pram.
Politician
screwed for £25,000?
A number of sources have told
Mad-as-Hell.Com, that in the days before
Christmas, a Donegal woman was
publicly making accusations that a
political figure had offered her a
substancial sum of money, to keep quiet
about their 'affair'.
Worth remembering, people; if we overhear
you say something like this, it'll appear
here, quicker than you can say
"Charlie Bird ate my hamster".
A bad year for
Trooperman?
An unemployed
Donegal farmer, known localy as
Trooperman, has received some disturbing
news from his financial advisers. He'll
be unable to afford to do his traditional
Isuzu Trooper trade in this year and have
to continue driving his old 2001 reg
Trooper for another year.
Building a new house is an expensive
business. Good to know there are
government grants, such as the dole
available.
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| Gildea
makes a horse's arse out of the media, as
Donegal's politics descend into farce |
 |
At the end of last year, independent
TD for Donegal South West, the best TD Fianna
Fail never had, Thomas Gildea stunned the Irish
Parliament with an allegation that the former
Justice minister,
Nora Owen, took a bribe
from a cable TV company in the 1990s concerning
the legal action taken by the goverment to shut
down Donegal's illegal TV re-transmitters [Ed
note: Were they all shut down that time? Did
anyone bother to check?]. Although
the allegations were withdrawn soon afterwards,
Gildea has still to explain his outburst, and it
is thought that he may repeat or even expand on
them.
It has been alleged that he did it in order to
take the heat off the government, over it's
refusal to commence a public inquiry into the
Mc.Brearty affair and the massive corruption in
the Gardai (the Irish police farce) that has been
alleged. Some have accused him of making the
outburst just to take the flak away from himself
over his refusal to vote against the goverment
over the inquiry.
The Dublin media have branded him a fool. A
foolish thing to say about a TD, who, with his
parlimentary record, succeeded in running up the
second highest TD's expense account in the Dail, (which,
pales into insignificance when compared to the
millions in compensation expected from the
taxpayer, by the holders of the exclusive
re-broadcast licences) and a foolish thing
to do when they never fully investigated the
MMDS/deflector issue in the first place.
The TD, the rape, the pregnacy and the abortion
Ireland's new abortion
referendum, in its true, hypocritical perspective
Our editorial, this month
A
load of old rubbish
Ireland's truckers are up in
arms. 200 of them have been attempting to
blockade Wicklow and Dublin in
protest, claiming that Wicklow Co.Council
is putting them out of business.
The council's crime? Putting a stop to
illegal waste dumping, after it was
'discovered' that medical waste etc.,
etc., had been dumped illegaly for years.
Only in Ireland, could 200 truckers admit
to breaking health and safety laws etc.,
and demand to continue doing so.
The Irish police have now started an
investigation into what they believe to
be a multi million pound business.
If the truckers are genuinly feeling
hardship, perhaps they might consider
moving to Donegal, where there's good
money in domestic refuge. Our local
service, 'Ferry's Weekly Refuge
Collection', has just put up their price.
Before the new year and the euro, they
would take all
your rubbish away weekly, for £10 a
month. Since the new year, and
introduction of the euro however, they've
upped their prices to €4.35 per
wheelie bin and €2.20 per plastic
rubbish bag (which must be supplied by
them, and is of such poor quality, is
difficult to fill without falling apart).
Ferry's are not involved in illegal
dumping.
Donegal
Town pupils in suspenders shocker
A
number of pupils from Donegal Town Abbey
Vocational School, who were
caught dodging school, have been given an
appropriatly rewarding punishment; a
weeks suspension. Meanwhile, the
proprietor of the premises, in which many
such pupils are rumoured to hang out
during the day, was unavailable for
comment.
One suspended pupil from the school, who
we met in a pub, and asked to comment,
said with amusment, "It's good to
see that nothing much has changed since
the old principal retired".
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80% of Donegal farmers
earn less than £80 a week
Poverty appears to be rife in
Donegal, with the news that a survey has
shown that 80% of farming
households have an income of less than
£80 per week. Luckily for them, they can
survive by receiving means tested
unemployment payments.
One such 'unemployed' Donegal farmer has
just extended his farm, by paying
£200,000 for his neighbour's land.
[Ed note: OK, I know we had it in
last time, but it's a cracker!]
The great euro
rip off
Despite politician's promises to the
contrary, businesses have been
profiting heavily from the euro
changeover. All taxis operating out of
Donegal Town, that we have personaly
used, have rounded up their fares by 10%
since the changeover. Many pubs have done
the same, in fact many businesses have.
Official figures have shown that, prices
have been upped by as much as 15% since
the euro's introduction. Some of the
worst offenders have been the Republic's
doctors, who have upped their charges by
massive amounts, assisted by the
government who refused to increase the
entitlement to free medical care in the
recent budget.
Now, many genuine
welfare claimants face the prospect of
losing their free care because their
payments have risen in the budget.
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You can make a
difference
In view of the failure of the British and
Irish governments to bring the Omagh bombers to
justice, the victims have launced a civil case
against the alleged perpatrators. You can make a
difference in Ireland by showing your support in
the fight against terrorism, by donating to the
legal fund, which needs to raise £1,000,000.
Unbelievably, the fund is well sort of target.
Ponder this for a moment; should the British
government pull out of their plans to fund the
memorial to Diana, Queen of Tarts, how long do
you think it would take for the public to raise
the £3,000,000?
Donations can be sent to: Royal Bank of
Scotland, Fleet Street Branch, London, EC4.
Sort code: 16-00-11
Account number: 100 84 990
Account name: Omagh Victims Legal Trust
Also, donations can be made by credit card by
calling 0870 907 2000 or by cheque to the legal
firm handling the case, made out to the Omagh
Victims Legal Trust c/o H2O, 5 John Street,
London WC1N 2HH.
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Editor: Howard Beale
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2002 mad-as-hell.com |
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