Ice Shade Sunscreen: Get a little too much sun last summer? Are you tired of that unsightly Trobbit look? Well, your worries are over. One application of our cool blue Ice Shade Sunscreen and you'll be able to keep that corpse-like complexion all year round!
Barbaric!: Check out our new 56 page catalog of clothing and cool accessories you just can't get anywhere else in the universe! We offer a wide variety of leather thongs, menacing helmets, furry underwear, Trobbit shoes, tacky orange polyester and much, much more.
Artwork@1994, 2001 by Luis Royo
Poisoned Pond Cologne: For that special Trobbit in your life. Our special blend of toxic chemicals is guaranteed to knock him out or your money back!
Zombie Master Mud Pack: From Maybelline, the mud pack that allows you to look like a zombie without actually becoming one. Both a skin toner and camoflauge, our Mud Pack is perfect for those occasions when you'd rather fool them than fight them; you'll come away with your soul intact and with fresher, younger looking skin! Applicator included. Note: results may vary.
Sphere of Souls Ornamental Keyring: Our glow-in-the-dark, marble shooter-sized crystal ball is both functional and fun to use. The warm radioactive glow ensures you'll never misplace your keys again, while our patented Soul Snatcher features make this item a sure-fire hit at parties. Your guests will be enthralled by the hypnotic, swirling glow, while their souls are neatly and efficiently trapped inside. Start your collection today! Makes a great gift!
Time in a Bottle Facial Cream: It's finally here, the beauty cream that will literally take years off your face. Brought to you by Maybelline and the wizards of the Bad Idea Productions chemistry department, the same people who brought you the Zombie Master Mud Pack!
Mara's Lee Press-On Nails: For every sorceress who's ever craved that well-manicured look, your search is over! Our easy-to-use press-on nails come in a variety of colors, from corpse blue to demon black to bloody red. Get yours today!
Starsword Thermal Oven Mitts: For those occasions when that thermonuclear Starsword is just a little too hot to handle, our decorative oven mitts are just what you're looking for. Insulated to withstand temperatures of up to 2000F, our mitts come in a variety of colors and patterns. Please specify Dragon Green, Enchantress Blue, Trobbit Pink, Plaid, Floral or Iridescent. Your mitts can also be monogrammed (sorry, Q, X and Z not available) for that intimate touch.
(Warning: serious allergic reaction may occur)
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