A Wal-Mart store that sells husbands has just opened in Dallas, TX where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men.
Among the instructions at the entrance, is a description of how the store operates. There are only 6 floors. It states that the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights.
There is, however, a catch.... As you open the door to any floor you may choose any man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.
So, a woman goes to the Wal-Mart Husband Store to find a husband...... Is There Baseball in Heaven?
Two old men had been best friends for years,
In the back woods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart's wife went into labor QUOTE Time is the best teacher unfortunately
Computer Tech Line help.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.
The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,012 to this floor. There are NO men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping Wal-Mart's Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building - and have a nice day !
and
they both live to their early 90's,
when one of them
suddenly falls deathly ill.
His friend comes to visit
him on his deathbed,
and they're reminiscing about
their long friendship,
when the dying man's friend
asks, "Listen, when you die,
do me a favor. I want to
know if there's baseball in heaven."
The dying man said, "We've been friends for years,
this I'll do for you." And then he dies.
A couple days
later, his surviving friend
is sleeping when he hears
his friend's voice. The voice says,
"I've got some good
news and some bad news.
The good news is that
there's baseball in heaven."
"What's the bad news?"
"The bad news is that you're pitching on
Wednesday."
in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out
to
assist in the delivery.
To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him
a
lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm
doing."
Soon, a wee baby boy was brought into the world.
"Whoa there Scotty!" said the doctor. "Don't be in a rush to put
the lantern down...
I think there's yet another wee one to come."
Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered another little baby.
"No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that
lantern,
young man...It seems there's yet another one besides!"
cried the doctor.
The new father scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the
doctor.
"Do ye think it's the light that's attractin' them?"
it kills all of its students!