Friends and Lovers

by Remma (morennab@yahoo.co.uk)

"Jack, I'm going, so stop whining."

"I'm not whining, it's just...well...we get so little time together..."

"We're together all the time..."

"Sure, at the base, or on missions. That's hardly the same thing. I mean time together when we can...uh...you know."

"Are you ever going to be able to call us making love anything but you know?"

"Hey, I'm a guy...you know is guy talk for anything mushy. And anyway, I wasn't just talking about sex."

"I'm a guy too, and I can say the words. And if you weren't just talking about sex, what were you talking about?"

"You're a weird guy, Daniel. You don't make love like most men. And I was talking about all the rest of it too."

"I am not weird, how am I weird? How do I not make love like most men? What rest of it?"

"The rest of it is us being together, watching movies...grocery shopping...mowing the lawn, just...hanging. I like being with you Daniel, whether we do anything or not."

"That is so..."

"Do not let me hear the words sweet or cute come out of your mouth, Daniel. Or romantic."

"Macho. Tough. Manly. Totally alpha male."

"Well, okay."

"Doesn't let you off the hook though."

"What hook?"

"How do I not make love like other men?"

"Oh, that. Well, you don't."

"You keep saying that, but you don't say how."

"How in that you're not in a hurry to get the job done. You can spend hours kissing and stroking...exploring. I swear, by the time your done, just about every nerve I have is on edge."

"That's bad?"

"No, no...of course not. I love that part."

"So?"

"So, just when I'm about to explode like a stack of C4, you roll away and say something completely unnecessary like: 'Are you happy, Jack?'"

"Aren't you?"

"Well, heck, yeah."

"Then..."

"But that's the short answer, and you're not looking for the short answer. You want words. Important words. You want guarantees and reassurances. You want to know how things will stand tomorrow...as if I know."

"So you're saying you might not love me tomorrow."

"Geez, Daniel, no. Of course I'm not saying that...I will always love you, but you want surefire guarantees, dammit. How can I say what may or may not happen sometime down the line. All I know is that tomorrow I'll wake up and be the same man. You'll be the same man. Janet will shine her little bitty torch in our eyes, and stick us with big, honking needles. The Goa'uld will still be trying to take over the world. What is the point in wasting time best spent mussing up the bed, in discussing happiness and guarantees? Philosophical discussions are best saved for long, boring missions, not the bedroom."

"You never said..."

"That's because when you ask one of your little questions, I know I have to be really careful with the answer. I know that in your mind, there's only one right response, and if I get it wrong, you're liable to grab a blanket and sleep in a chair. Which would leave me totally screwed...or not. So, when you ask me if I'm happy, I say, 'Yes, Daniel, I was a wretched lowlife until you came along. Now my days are as warm and peaceful as a summer evening.' Which is pretty much the truth, but who wants to have to admit it every night?"

"Yes, but..."

"And after I get the question right, you roll back in, and start with the stroking and kissing again. Making love to you Daniel, usually means a night of frustration combined with deep pleasure."

"Oh. That's the only way I know, but I could try to change if you..."

"No...god...no. I don't ever want you to change. I love you and I love the way you make love. I'm just saying, it's...different."

"Not bad?"

"Definitely not bad. Good. Really good. Amazing. I even like the frustration...must be a masochist."

"Jack, you are such an ass. I have to go...I don't want to be late."

"What, you're still going?"

"Sure. Why not?"

"Well, we're...you know."

"Jack."

"Talking...we're talking. Communicating."

"And we can continue communicating when I get back. You act like I'm going on a polar expedition. I'll be home in a couple of hours, tops."

"Home. That's nice, I like that. Still, I can't believe you'd choose a lecture in a museum over staying here and getting jiggy with me."

"Jiggy, huh? Tempting as that sounds, I really want to hear Professor Bingham speak. He's considered an expert in the field of early Mayan civilization. Did you know that..."

"Ahhhhrgh."

"Sorry. You know, you could always come with me."

"To a lecture on primitive Incas. Right. Daniel, I have trouble focusing when you talk about this cultural stuff...and I love you. No way could I listen for hours to some old fart droning on about pots and rocks."

"I always knew you only had those National Geographical magazines for the pictures."

"Hey, I read them...some of them."

"Sure you did. Bye."

"You're wearing that?"

"Clearly. Why, what's wrong with this?"

"I think you should wear a sweater...a long one...one that at least covers your butt."

"What?"

"I just don't think you should be going off somewhere with a bunch of horny academics in anything so...revealing."

"Jack, I'm wearng jeans."

"Tight jeans. Really tight jeans."

"I can't believe I'm hearing this."

"Who knew you could clean up so good."

"What?"

"Well, when I first met you, it was all tweed and plaid. Face it, Daniel, you were a geek. And now, look at you...you're hot. When did that happen?"

"You're complaining?"

"Not complaining...just...dammit, you're hot."

"Jack, I'm not interested in anyone else. Really. You have zero competition."

"Sweet. Okay, then, go give those geeks a thrill...but straight home after."

"Ja-ack. Fine...I swear. No talking to strangers. Love you. Bye."

"Bye. Have fun."

"Geez, give the guy a key, but does he use it? Hell, no. How come you...hey...Carter...um, I wasn't expecting...um."

"I brought 'round the progress reports you were asking me about, but if it's a problem..."

"No...no. No problem. I'm just surprised, is all. I'd have thought you'd have better things to do on a Sunday afternoon than work on reports."

"It's fine, sir. I wanted to get finished. So..."

"Oh, right. Come on in. Coffee?"

"That would be nice, thank-you."

"Right. Coffee. Be right back."

"Fine."

"So, I take it you're experiments on that doohickey we picked up went well."

"Yes, sir. Very encouraging. It's all in the report."

"The report. Right. Well, I'll definitely take a look at it later."

"I thought you would want to check it out before the briefing tomorrow morning."

"Yes. Sure. Good. Good thinking."

"Sir, is there a problem?"

"Problem, no, why would there be a problem?"

"No reason. I noticed that you kept looking at the clock, so if you're expecting someone, I could..."

"No, no, I'm not expecting anyone...well...Daniel mentioned he might drop by...or not...maybe."

"Oh, that's good. I hope you don't mind my saying this, but I was starting to get a little worried about you and Daniel."

"What? What do you mean, worried about what?"

"There just seemed to be a distance between you, but it's obvious that things are better now. I'm glad. I was feeling a little guilty..."

"Guilty? Why would you feel guilty? How could my relationship with Daniel involve you?"

"Well, sir, I think he found out about what was said during the zatarc crisis and that..."

"Oh, right. That. Yes, he did, but we talked and we're fine. I explained that it was all a misunderstanding. I don't think we need to bring all that up again now."

"Of course, sir. I think it's wonderful that you and Daniel are taking Teal'c around more. It's good that he's getting to see more of earth culture."

"You wouldn't believe some of the culture he's dragged us too."

"Yes, I heard about the jello wrestling."

"Right. You know, you should come with us."

"I'd like that, sir, thank-you."

"Fine. Great. One thing, when we're off duty, you have to call me Jack."

"Only if you call me Sam."

"Right. Yesureyoubetcha. Look forward to it."

"So do I, sir...Jack."

"Okay, so..."

"I should leave."

"Okay, fine...I'll read the reports tonight and get back to you in the morning. Now...get lost, go enjoy what's left of your weekend."

"Yes, sir. See you in the morning."

"Hey, Sam, how'd it go?"

"I'm not sure, Janet...he seemed really nervous."

"Nervous how, exactly?"

"I don't know. Just...nervous. At first I thought he was expecting someone, like a date or something, but he said not, only Daniel."

"Well, that clinches it."

"It does?"

"Sure it does. Daniel could never make him jumpy, so it had to be you."

"And that's good?"

"Absolutely. Making a guy nervous is always a good thing. After all, if he didn't care..."

"I guess so. There would be no reason for him to behave so strangely if we were just two co-workers having coffee together. And..."

"Yes?"

"He did invite me to go out with him, Daniel and Teal'c the next time they do anything."

"That's good. Not exactly a romantic meal for two, but it's a start. And we are talking about Colonel O'Neill, after all."

"He said when we're off duty I should call him Jack."

"O-kay. What did you say to that?"

"I said he should call me Sam."

"I guess it would be a little odd to be calling each other 'Colonel' and 'Carter' in bed."

"Janet! We're nowhere near that yet. And we may never be. What If I'm making a big mistake about all this."

"Why would you think that?"

"I tried to bring up what we both confessed to the zatarc detector, and he completely shut me down."

"Of course he did. What else could he do? It probably hurts too much to talk about what he thinks he can never have."

"You really think so?"

"I do. So, now you just have to let him know he can have you."

"So, you think I should go for it?"

"Why not? I think Cassie had a point; you're both single people, you're attracted to each other..."

"But the rules, Janet. I'm not prepared to sacrifice my career, even for Jack O'Neill."

"Some rules were made to be broken. SG-1 was never your average military unit, I mean...my god...you have an alien and a civilian on the team."

"Yes, but still, I wouldn't want to be the cause of any split. Maybe I should talk to Daniel first, see how he would feel if I was involved with the Colonel."

"Sam, honey, I know you love Daniel...I love Daniel, who wouldn't. But you really can't let his needs take precedence over yours. You're entitled to happiness too."

"I know. I just don't want him to feel excluded. If I talked to him, let him know what was going on...I'm sure he'd be fine with it."

"Well, whatever you think."

"Yes, I think that would be best. I'll talk to Daniel."

"Daniel, what am I going to do about Carter?"

"Was it really that bad?"

"Worse. She was hinting."

"God."

"Yeah. And I was nervous as hell."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why were you nervous?"

"Because you were due home any minute, and I couldn't get her to leave."

"So? You told her I might be dropping by, and..."

"I didn't tell her that you had your own key, or that you come and go as you please. Even Carter might think that was a little strange."

"Oh. Right. I guess that would look a little odd."

"Just a tad. I think I may have screwed up."

"Oh?"

"I invited her along the next time we go out with Teal'c."

"Oh."

"And I told her to call me Jack."

"Oh."

"And she said to call her Sam, and I don't think I can, so now I can't call her anything."

"Oh."

"Daniel, do you think you could say a little more besides oh."

"Oh, okay."

"Daniel!"

"Sorry, I'm thinking."

"And?"

"Maybe I should talk to Sam."

"And say what? We can't tell her about us...for her sake, as much as ours."

"I know, but I could try to find out how she feels, if she still wants a relationship with you."

"Crap, I hate this. Maybe we should just set her up with someone else."

"Who?"

"I don't know...Teal'c?"

"God, no. Janet would be a much better bet."

"Janet?"

"Sure, why not? They're really close, they're both single...and they've virtually raised Cassie together. I think they'd make a really good couple, don't you? Jack? Jack...you stop that right now."

"What? I wasn't doing anything."

"You were so, Jack...you were fantasizing. Admit it."

"I was not...okay, maybe I was, but come on...I'm a guy."

"Don't start with all that again. It's no excuse."

"I can't help it. Two hot chicks making out is so..."

"Eeew, Jack, stop. This is Sam you're talking about...and Janet. It's icky."

"Why is it?"

"Because. Sam's like...a...a sister or something. Fantasizing her making out is...is...it's like incest. Eeew."

"Oh, really? So, now that I know what squicks you out..."

"Don't even try, Jack. I can squick you out way more than you ever could me."

"Ya think?"

"Oh, yeah. How about: kinky bondage sex between...uh...Simmons and...um...oh, I know..."

"Daniel, no."

"Kinsey."

"Oh my god, that is so disgusting. I'm going to have nightmares."

"Then there's General Hammond and..."

"No, not the General, please."

"Let me see, who can we find for the General..."

"Stop, you win, okay. I do not want to imagine the General having sex..."

"Councilor Trevell."

"Damn."

"You should be grateful, I could have said Jacob."

"Thank-you Daniel. Thanks a bunch. I am never going to sleep again."

"Ha! Good. That'll teach you to mess with me."

"I hate you."

"No you don't. And I still think it would be a good idea to sound out Sam."

"Well, whatever you think."

"Right, I think that would be best. I'll talk to Sam."

***The End***

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