Stuck In The Closet

by Remma (morennab@yahoo.co.uk)

 
"Daniel? Oh come on Daniel, you know I didn't mean it. Will you please just talk to me?"

"Please?"

"How many more ways can I say I'm sorry?"

"No? Well, I guess you're still not talking to me."

"Daniel, it really wasn't my fault. How was I supposed to know the marines were going to show up? And I couldn't possibly anticipate that the handle would come off in your hand. Then that SF shows up saying Hammond wants me...what was I to
do?"

"I couldn't say no, could I?"

"Daniel?"

"I meant to get back right away, you know I did, but the General kept bringing up one thing after another. I swear I was on the point of walking out."

"Don't look at me like that, I was."

"And then, after, people kept coming up to me and asking about stuff."

"I did the best I could, Daniel. You're not being fair."

"Dammit, Daniel, how long is this going to go on?"

"Geez, you could turn sulking into an olympic event."

"Fine, be like that then, see if I care."

"I don't have to be here, you know."

"I could go home."

"Is that what you want?"

"Fine. I'm going."

"I'm going now, Daniel."

"This is it."

"I'm off."

"Bye."

"Oh, Daniel...please...I am so...so...sorry."

"What do you want from me?"

"You want me to beg?"

"Yes."

"You have no idea how...what?"

"Yes, I want you to beg."

"Oh. Okay. At least your talking to me now."

"Oh, right. Begging. You really want me to do this?"

"You don't think it's a bit...okay, fine."

"Daniel, I'm begging you, please, please ,please forgive me. I am desperately sorry that you were humiliated...although really, I don't see that it was that...no, sorry. Of course, you're right. It was all my fault. I am slime. I am a worm. I am the lowest of the low. I am worse than a Goa'uld. I swear, Daniel..."

"'Come with me, Daniel, I've got something to show you...you'll like this, it'll be fun. Newsflash, Jack. I do NOT like being shoved into a storage closet and abandoned. That is not fun for me, Jack."

"I didn't mean..."

"Two hours."

"I know."

"Two hours, Jack. TWO FUCKING HOURS."

"I know, Daniel."

"Two hours I spent locked in that fucking storage closet. And not just stuck in there, but sexually frustrated and stuck in there. Alone, and sexually frustrated, Jack."

"Crap. Daniel..."

"Alone, Jack. I was alone when a bemused SF finally let me out. Tell me Jack, what was I supposed to say to him? That I was suddenly and unexpectedly in desperate need of a bedpan? Well?"

"I don't know. What did you say?"

"I didn't say anything."

"What? Nothing?"

"Wasn't really anything to say was there?"

"I guess not. Daniel..."

"I know, you're sorry. You said."

"I really am, Daniel."

"I know."

"It was never meant to be like that. I thought it would be fun...you know...a little illicit lovin' in the middle of the afternoon. I thought you'd get off on it. Then the damn marines came around the corner and saw me, so I thought...get rid of them...then get down and dirty with Daniel. I never meant to lock you in. I didn't know you wouldn't be able to get out. I'm sorry, it just all went
wrong."

"I know. I guess it would have been...fun."

"Ya think? I had a bottle of champagne all set to go in there too..."

"You did? Where?"

"I hid it in the...um...somewhere."

"Hid it where, Jack?"

"It's...um...I put it in with the...ah...enemas."

"The enemas?"

"Yeah, I figured no-one would look there."

"God, Jack, you're mind works in the oddest way. Where is it? We might as well drink it now."

"Um..."

"Jack, tell me you didn't leave it in the storage closet."

"Sorry, what with one thing and another, I kind of forgot. I'm sure it'll be okay there 'till morning."

"What if some one finds it?"

"It's right at the bottom of the box...I mean, realistically, how many enemas could they need in one night."

"Jack, we're talking about Janet here."

"Crap."

"Well, quite."

"You think I should go get it now?"

"No, but first thing in the morning, okay. I do not want to have to explain to
the General what I was doing locked in a closet with a bottle of champagne."

"Yeah, you wouldn't want to add to your reputation."

"Reputation? What reputation? I have a reputation."

"Sure you do...you're a hot topic of conversation in the nurses lounge."

"I am? What do they say?"

"Daniel, do I look like a nurse?"

"You knew they talked, I thought maybe you knew what they said."

"Well I don't. You should ask Sam, she knows everything."

"I'll bet she doesn't know what the marines say about her."

"I'm surprised you do."

"I heard them talking in the locker room once."

"What did they say."

"I'm not sure I should repeat it."

"Oh, come on...spill."

"I don't know, it's not really any of our business."

"And once again, you've completely missed the point. This is gossip Daniel, the whole point about gossip is that it's none of our business."

"Well, you would know all about that."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Jack, you are the worst gossip of anyone I have ever met."

"I am not, I'm just doing my duty."

"In what way, exactly?"

"As 2IC at the SGC, it's my duty to keep abreast of all the goings on at the base."

"That's your excuse?"

"It is, and I'm sticking to it. So, what were the marines saying about Sam?"

"A lot of it was just the usual sort of stuff...you know...guy talk."

"Oh, yeah, I know guy talk. And the rest?"

"One of the new ones was saying he wanted to date her, and the others were warning him off. Jack, they were calling her the black widow."

"Ah. Well, you have to admit, getting involved with Carter has been the kiss of death lately."

"It has not! That is so not fair."

"Daniel... Narim, Orlin, Martouf, that Joe guy..."

"Okay, so she's had a little bad luck..."

"A little bad luck?"

"Well, you're hardly the one to talk...remember Kinthia? Talk about cradle snatching."

"She was very mature for her age."

"She sure as hell matured you. What, you couldn't use one of the condoms the U.S military so thoughtfully provides?"
 
"She drugged me with those doped up fairy cakes."
 
"Right. Of course she did. I suppose we should be grateful that you and Sam decided not to act on your feelings for each other, or..."
 
"What! What are you talking about? There was never anything between Carter and me."

"Oh, come on, Jack. It's okay, I know."
 
"Know what? There's nothing to know. I'm telling you, Daniel, there was never anything between Carter and me."

"So, your saying that you and Sam didn't admit that you loved each other during that whole zatarc mess."

"My god...no...never...who told you that?"

"Base gossip."

"Well, it's wrong."
 
"Not so much fun when your the subject of the gossip, is it Jack?"

"Daniel...I swear...whatever you've heard, I never said that I loved Sam."
 
"Then why would neither you or Sam ever tell me what really did happen? One minute, your both zatarcs, and you're all set to fry your brain to save Sam...the next, Martouf is shooting up the gate room, and you two are fine and dandy."
 
"Daniel, I..."
 
"Did you think I was stupid or something? There you all were, going around saying it had all been a big mistake...did you really think I would buy that?"
 
"God, I'm sorry, I didn't think..."
 
"No, you didn't. You just assumed that we could forget the whole thing and carry on as if nothing had happened. But something had happened, and since you weren't talking, the only source of information I had was the gossip...and believe me...there was plenty of that."
 
"No-one was ever supposed to know..."
 
"You admit there was something to know, then, do you?"
 
"Okay, yes there was...but not what you think."
 
"Oh, really?"
 
"Yes, really. Daniel...god...I can't believe that we're talking about this now, after all this time."

"Fine. If you don't want to talk about your attraction to Sam, we can just..."
 
"Dammit, Daniel! I AM NOT ATTRACTED TO CARTER. I have never been attracted to Carter, and we obviously do need to talk about this. If I'd known what you thought, I would have cleared it up at the time. This is what started the problems between us, isn't it?"
 
"Partly, I guess. It hurt that you would lie to me, and shut me out like that. And not just you, but Sam as well...god...even Teal'c knew. I thought we were supposed to be a team, and then suddenly, I was left completely out of the loop."
 
"Daniel, I am so sorry. I never meant for you to feel like that. The truth is, what happened with the zatarc machine was awkward and embarrassing. I just wanted to forget the whole thing. I should have realized how impossible it was to keep it a secret...and that the gossip would get it all wrong."
 
"Jack, you still haven't really told me what started the gossip. It may have become distorted, but it had to start from something."
 
"Right, yes. Okay...well, it seems the machine can pick up on concealed emotions. You know that Carter was trapped behind the barrier..."
 
"And you tried to save her, but couldn't."
 
"Right, and I couldn't just leave her there alone..."

"Of course not, you'd never..."
 
"Daniel, would you please stop interrupting."
 
"Sorry, go on."
 
"Anyway, what we hadn't said the first time, and the reason that detector...um...detected us, was how we felt when we were in that situation."
 
"And?"
 
"And, I admitted that I would rather have died than lose Carter...that I cared far more for her than I should. But, Daniel, That was the absolute truth. I care for Carter, maybe even love her, but I have never been in love with her. You have to believe that."
 
"I do, I guess. But, Jack, if that's all, why all the secrecy? What's so terrible about caring for your teammates? Isn't that a good thing?"
 
"Not to the military. I'm the C.O. If I care too much for the team , then it's possible I might trash an important mission to save one of them...and they're right, Daniel, I would."
 
"No, you wouldn't...remember Klorel's ship?"
 
"Only in my nightmares. Leaving you was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. The point is, if that happened now, I'm not sure I could do it again."
 
"You would if you had to...if it was to save earth. Jack, you're a good leader. I know you would never leave any of us behind, if you had the choice. You didn't leave Sam because you didn't have to...the mission was completed, we were on the way out. It's the same reason Teal'c and I didn't go when we could have. You're not a robot...it's okay to have feelings."
 
"Even when they interfere with the success or failure of a mission?"
 
"You have good instincts, Jack...I trust you to make the right decision."
 
"Thank-you, Daniel. And you understand now, about the zatarc fiasco, don't you?"

"Yes, but..."

"What?"
 
"Does Sam?"
 
"What do you mean?"
 
"Have you ever talked to her about what was said?"
 
"God, no. You're the only person who can get me to spill my guts like this."
 
"So, you don't know for sure how she really feels about you."
 
"She feels the same about me as I do about her...at least...I assumed...ah, crap."
 
"You may not have meant love, Jack, but I'm not so sure that Sam didn't. And she may not have interpreted your words exactly as you meant them."

"Crap."

"Yes."
 
"But, even if she did feel that then, she must be over it by now...I mean...she's been involved with other guys, so..."
 
"As you pointed out earlier, her personal relationships haven't exactly been a resounding success of late."

"Crap. What should I do?"
 
"I don't know."
 
"Wonderful. Thank-you Daniel...make me feel guilty, why don't you."
 
"Sorry. The thing is, there really isn't anything you can do.Talking to Sam now would just make things worse. She'd be embarrassed, you'd feel awkward...what's the point. It's better to just let things go. The one thing I really hate about the situation is that she would be really hurt if she ever found out about us...after all, she believes that a relationship between the two of you is impossible because of military protocol. Think how she'd feel if she knew how many rules you were willing to break to be with me..."
 
"But were okay, right, Daniel? You aren't going to say we have to break up, or anything stupid like that, are you?"
 
"Idiot...of course we're not going to break up. We do have to be more careful, though. However much fun a little secret tryst on base might be, we can't take the chance."
 
"Damn, you're right...again."
 
"Unfortunately, yes. Just as well we don't live on base, isn't it?"
 
"Oh, yeah. Speaking of which, have you forgiven me enough yet to...um..."
 
"Well, I don't know. I'm not sure that a little more groveling isn't needed to convince me that you shouldn't be sleeping on the couch."
 
"Daniel, pushing it a little here."
 
"Can I help it if I like the idea of having you kneeling before me, begging my pardon...and while you're down there you could...oh, Jack...no, stop...oooh...what are you doing?"
 
"Daniel, I promise you, by the time I'm done, you'll be the one doing the begging."

"Jack...you can't love me at all...oooh, aaah...what...JACK!"

***The End***

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