DUCKS

EVIL WILLOW

KITA & JESS

MICHELLE

RABBIT

SABER

SATURN GIRL

SPIRIT

TIENCO

Xander: So. How badly did you want to go all Grr during Frank's salsa lesson? Cuz I gotta tell you, Don and Gerry can go, but Frank is a god on the dance floor and no way am I giving him up, at least not until you become a better dancer.

Angel: Define better.

Xander: At least as good as me.

Angel: I can do that.

Xander: Delusional much? You've been around for what, over 270 years? I'm pretty sure if the rhythm was gonna get you, it would've happened by now.

-"Yet to Nature True" by Lil Min

"But what? What was I supposed to do? Ask you?!" He plastered on a very fake smile and an earnest expression, "Hi, Angel, haven't talked to you much--ever--but I'm moving in and by the way, I'm bi and will be dating guys. Here's a list of my potential dates, which ones aren't servants of the devil?"

-"Yet to Nature True" by Lil Min

Angel: I see any back and forth between anybody else and me, I'm gonna bring you back here, tie you to the bed, and fuck you till you can't see anything ever again.

Spike: I'm shocked at such soulless threats of rough sex, Peaches.  My, my, I better be careful. Tucked, sucked and fucked by a nasty, poofy, soapy smelling, silk encrusted vampire demon like you? Scares the jism right out of me. Maybe we better practice so I got a thorough idea what I'm in for.

-Meg "Spike and the Economics Lesson"

Angel: When you're nice to people, I get hard. Actually when you're evil I get hard too. But tonight all I have to do is look at how happy Cordelia is and I think about your doing it and I want to fuck you all the way to the Golden Gate.

Spike:You can fuck me all the way to Frisco if I can fuck you all the way back.

-Meg "Spike and the Economics Lesson"

[Spike on Faith.]

"She was poetry in motion."

-Jen in "Haunted"

[Spike dreams of Buffy]

"She walks around so brave

Holding a stake so delicate

I hate that bitch!

But… I would love to have a go at it"

-Janet Jongebloed "**The Ballad of Spike and Buffy**: She Haunts Me"

"[Buffy] whacked Riley on the head with it several times.  He dropped to the ground, falling in a heap.  Buffy hit him one more time just to be safe, then her and Angel dragged him over and hid him in some bushes. He wasn't dead, but he was close.  And Buffy found she didn't care."

-Lady Callista "A Different Life"

Buffy's clone looked at Buffy with tears in her eyes. "But I love Riley." 

"God, if I ever get like this someone please, please lock me in a room with Angel till I come to my senses."  Buffy groaned.

-Lady Callista "A Different Life"

"Yeah. Great," Spike snapped, cuffing the smaller of the Fiorals.

"Like to crush. Crush now?" it said, its voice like rocks grinding together.

"Keep your pants on, big guy," Spike answered him, then looked down at the demon's naked form, "Never mind."

"Something Old : Book 3"

She gets my implication. Though my soul adores her completely, exists only to keep her safe, and make her smile, it still shares a shell with a creature she is sworn to destroy. His bonds are sometimes thin, whatever the Powers might tell us about the curse. The thing inside me is blood-thirsty, eternally vicious, a bottomless pit of genuine malice that hates her as deeply as I love her. He would drain her powerful blood in a moment, without hesitation for second thought. And after killing her, then watching her rise, now his possession -his childe and lover -he would take her forth and spend eternity consuming the world.

"Nemesis/Soulmate"

As she tackles me, her weight and forward motion forcing my body to crash, face-first, into the grass, I wonder: Was I ever really trying to get away?

"Nemesis/Soulmate"

When it came to loving Buffy... I was a man without will. I was her servant. Her adoring and perfectly willing slave."

 "A Face So Familiar: Translucent"

When it came to loving Buffy... I was a man without will. I was her servant. Her adoring and perfectly willing slave."

 "A Face So Familiar: Translucent"

"Worthless. Failure. Wastrel. Hurt her. Drill her raw and drink her dry. Fangs in jugular, magick pumping, drinking, sucking, fucking, binding, blinding, it's all about the Blood."

"Bringing Him Back"

"It's like he's the sun, and I'm a planet in his solar system, eternally trapped in his gravity."

"He tastes like home."

"We don't need speech, to hear one another. We never did."

Buffy on Angel in "Bringing Him Back"

"Fucking feels good, no matter how much you dislike your partner."

Spike in "Bringing Him Back"

"Now... let me preface this little story by saying that I was as straight as a bloody arrow when I was alive. Chuff was the only name of the game when it came to sex, for old William. Loved women, I did. A lot of them, in fact. And with the exception of a handful of blowjobs in Whitechapel's alleyways for loose change when I was particularly down on my luck, it was never once that I took any fancy to, or pleasure from, a man."

Spike in "Bringing Him Back"

"And He was just so unbelievably fucking beautiful, all smooth and suave and cultured, sipping at His port there in the firelight, and I couldn't say, "Hell yeah, I'm interested!" fast enough. To which He just smiled that fucking smile, and said there was a bit of a catch. A bit of a catch. Damn if I can remember just how the Hell He made dying and coming back as a bloodthirsty demon so sod-all attractive, but He must have, because the next thing I knew, He was kissing me... I'll tell you, I'd never kissed a man before, or another since."

Spike on Angelus in "Bringing Him Back"

"If I could recommend a way to die, I'd put being fucked and sucked dry by the hottest, meanest demon on the face of the planet right up there at the top of the damn list."

Spike in "Bringing Him Back"

"How did I ever believe I hated Him? I mean... besides the fact that He used to abuse me fit for a Hard Copy Special Report, or that He used to abuse my Dru, or that He's tried to kill me more times than I can count, or that He hates me. He regrets me. That one perfect, exquisite night in all my existence, and I bet He wishes every day that it never happened. Okay, so... maybe I do hate Him, just a little."

Spike in "Bringing Him Back"

"Why?" he asks, suddenly all soft and sweet and lovey dovey.

Damn, I'm good. God of friggin' timin', is what I am. I'm about to lose what little leverage I just gained. But I'll tell you what, I haven't lived for a hundred and thirty some odd years being a one-trick pony. He blinks again as I undo the fly of his noncy silk slacks, and set his semi-hard cock free, giving it a gentle stroke or two.

"This isn't fair," he gasps.

"Well, I am evil."

" Black Paint and Mayonnaise"

The noise he makes is like, "Ughnnnnn...g-godspikegod..." See? Limited vocabulary. I don't know why he bothers trying to run his mouth during sex. He sounds like an idiot.

" Black Paint and Mayonnaise"

Angel takes his time... it's gonna be one of those nights. I may not be much for all the poetry and flowers bunk, but slow, gooey, gentle Angel-love is just as fully satisfying as vicious, violent, bloody Angel-love. I'd say I'm good with all of it.

" Black Paint and Mayonnaise"

He's naked, now, and damn, but my Sire's a fucking beautiful piece of manflesh. And I'll admit, I do get an illicit little jolly when he's all soul-ly and repentant. You spend a few decades with the most sadistic, nutcase vampire on the face of the planet and see if you don't get hard knowing you might get to dominate him 'cause he feels bad about it.

" Black Paint and Mayonnaise"

"I would have done anything for you! ANYTHING!" Spike sobs. The two of them are just out of my line of sight, but I can see them perfectly, in every painful detail, in my mind. Feel all of our suffering pounding in the too-hot air. "We could've found a way to stay together. You were all I ever had, Angelus! Ever! In life or unlife! Everything I knew about everything, I learned from being YOURS!"

"Bringing Him Back"

So me and the pouf both stand there, gawking at the barenaked Slayer, and she smiles softly and reaches out a hand to each of us, and says, "I think maybe we can get around the Curse."

.....

That was my mind short-circuiting.

I look at Angel again, but he's busy staring at the Slayer's tits like they're the bloody Pearly Gates, and she's fucking St. Goddamn Peter, standin' there, going, "Hey, Angel.  How are ya? Come on in and grab yourself a harp."

"Bringing Him Back"

Buffy grabbed his hands so firmly he flinched, and looked fiercely into his eyes. "What's new? You *never* talked to me about you! You never told me anything! You just took it upon yourself to make all the important decisions *for* me, and then left me alone to pick up the pieces! You took *everything* with you when you left. *Everything!* There's nothing left of me to give someone else! You said it tore you up to see me because you couldn't move on, and I could? I guess the tables have turned, huh? I *can't* move on! I told you I'd never change, and I haven't! I broke poor Riley's heart because I couldn't give him mine. You have it, Angel! You always have, and you always will!"

"Worlds of Longing"

"The lemons are growing on the orange trees now." 

"A Birthday Present"

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Angel (suddenly finding himself in a room with two 'oracles'): Who are you, where am I, and what the hell just happened?

Female: The Powers sent us.

Angel: Wouldn't that be, 'The Powers sent _me_?' Because _I'm_ the one who's not where I was.

 "Always"

Xander: I'll see you later.(looks at the newly human Angel)Huh. I just realized something. (looks at Buffy) I can't call him Dead-Boy anymore. A perfectly good nickname gone to waste. (sighs and winks at Buffy as he leaves.)

Angel: (in bewilderment) Did hell freeze over and I missed it?

 "New Beginnings"

"You call that a plan? Waiting around like sitting ducks for the slayer to turn us to dust?" Thomas asked incredulously.

Spike looked at him indifferently before throwing a stake and hitting him square in the heart with it. He smiled as the shocked fledgling turned to dust. He looked at the others, saying, "Anyone else want to criticize me?" He chuckled as they

all shook their heads, and added, "Good. Now go get the others."

He sighed as they departed, "It's so hard to find good help nowadays."

 "Problem Childe"

[Angel's ghost comes back from Hell to give Buffy an important message]

"Good point," Angel replied. "I have just a few things to say to you. The first one is, I don't hate you, Buffy. So don't hate yourself."

Buffy tried to will the tears to stay away but they wouldn't. She brushed them away, and looked at the floor. She couldn't look at his face, it was breaking her heart.

"There's nothing I need to forgive, because you did the only thing you could do. My life, such as it was, for yours; don't you know I would have given it willingly?"

"Moving On"

*Good one* Xander was mentally berating himself. *She's half asleep, and you try to kiss her. That's just great, Xander. That's up there in your most stupid things of all time list.* "Sorry," he mumbled.

"S'okay," she smiled over at him, and patted him on the knee in a comforting gesture.

*Okay, was that an 'It'ss okay, I wanted you to kiss me', or an 'It's okay, I understand, but don't do it again or I'll break your nose?'* Xander wondered.

 "Moving On"

[Buffy is coming to look for Xander after Willow told her that Xander is in love with her, Xander is talking with Oz about how he doesn't have a chance with her]

"I know that look, that's a 'why not' look," Xander guessed. "Well, I'll tell you why not. Because I already know how it would go. I say, 'Hey, Buffy. Would you like to go out with me on a date?' And when she gets up off the floor where she fell from laughing so hard, she tells me I'm just Xander, her really good friend and nothing more. Then I _do_ have to go join the circus."

"There will be no circus-joining by anyone," Xander heard Buffy say from behind him.

He groaned, and said, "See, these are the times when, if life was fair, the earth would swallow me whole."

 "Moving On"

Xander: Well, there could have been SOME surprise. They didn't know, that we knew, that they knew...

Buffy: I think I get it. Sorry, Xan, but you should know by now that patience isn't my strongest point. My idea didn't work anyway. So I guess we're onto plan B.

Angel: Which would be what? Because I think I speak for both myself _and_ Xander when I say that we weren't aware of a plan A.

 "Little Earthquakes"

[Buffy & Xander talk at her surprise birthday party that Xander put together]

"I just wanted to do something ... different," Xander replied. "Something to let you know how much you mean to me."

"Like I need that," Buffy said, "all you have to do is look at me, and I know that."

 "Little Earthquakes"

Buffy looked at it, and realized how it must have felt when he found the ring. The symbol of their love, the symbol of what they were to each other, the symbol of forever. And she'd discarded it, or at least that's how it probably looked to him. How much more pain would they cause each other before it finally became too much for one or both to bear anymore?

 "Little Earthquakes"

[Buffy tries to reassure Xander of her love]

"I know you are worried about what's going to happen with us, but I've never doubted one thing," Buffy said. "This is right, Xander. It's never felt wrong." He didn't reply, and she got up and walked back upstairs sadly.

 "Little Earthquakes"

Buffy: So I'm thinking it's better to lure them out here, rather than go in there for an ambush.

Angel: Spike will be thinking the exact opposite, though. How do you propose to get him out here?

Buffy: Watch me. HEY SPIKE! GET YOUR SORRY ASS OUT HERE AND FIGHT ME!

 "Little Earthquakes"

Something inside me cries out in protest.  No!  I'm not going anywhere!  I don't care if mutant demon fish are invading my apartment, I'm not leaving this shower until I've gotten all the slime out of my hair! But considering the nature of my career, and my life, and Fate in general, I realize that there very well could be mutant demon fish and I really can't justify showering at a time like this. Of course, mutant demon fish usually aren't given to saying "bloody hell," and I could have swornNo. There's only one person I know that uses that expression and... just... no. I turn off the water, dry off quickly, and pull on my robe, running into my living room to seek out the intruder.  Please, God, let it be demon fish.  Let it be minions of Hell.  Let it be anything in this world or the next as long as it's notSpike.

"Unexpected Visitor"

"Yer not man enough, are ya?" he quips.  "Oh, how the mighty have fallen." I ignore him resolutely. "Sad to see," he murmurs with mock regret.  "Time was you could have matched me drink for drink..."

"Is that a challenge?" I growl. A careless shrug is my only answer. I shouldn't do this.  Bad things happen when I get intoxicated.  I have a tendency to frighten television actresses or let blonde women bite me in the neck.  Hell, now that I come to think of it, I seem to recall being drunk off my ass the night I turned Spike.  But he was so young and attractive and edible, and his skin was so warm against the cool London air as I said "how do you feel about immortality, boy?" and he shrugged gracefully, lit a cigarette and said "why the hell not?" and, damn  it, it seemed like a good idea at the time.  Which indicates to me, more than anything else, that a persuasive William the Bloody and a drunken Angelus are a *bad* combination.

"Unexpected Visitor"

"Am not!" [Angel says.]

"Are too!" [Spike retorts.]

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am NOT!!!"

"Are bloody fuck-all soddin' fuckin bloody TOO!!!"

I pause for a moment, struggling to deconstruct a string of drunken British expletives. "Am not," I deny vehemently.  I can't quite remember what we're arguing about, but I am most definitely certain that I am NOT... not... whatever it was that I wasn't.

"Drinking Buddies"

Course, there are things we don`t talk about, even in our most intimate moments. Like the ancient box of ice cream in his freezer. He never eats it, he never even opens it. But I don`t ask why he keeps it, `cause I know. It`s the same reason I keep those tattered pages in my wallet, torn from an old porcelain doll catalogue. What`s there to say? Our ghosts are sleeping most of the time, and neither of us is too eager to wake `em up.

"Getting the Pouff Off in Ten Easy Steps"

Jesus, I was just joking with the world  domination comment. I have no idea why Peaches is so edgy tonight.  Maybe he`s afraid of getting caught in a women`s restroom. Like this would be the zenith of his embarrassing moments? Pfft. I saw his hairdo late nineteenth century. Now *that* was humiliating.

So how the *hell* the hulking Celtic potato decided to adhere my ass to the wall of a public women`s restroom is completely beyond my ken. I didn`t think the man knew what electrical tape was for. Although, I`m guessing taping errant childer`s wrists to metal hooks isn`t on the official list of handyman`s uses...

When it comes to sex, Spike is an anything goes kind of guy. He`ll do pretty much anything if the end result is good. But even Spike has rules. Standards, if you will.

Rule number one is: thou shalt not cease the giving of the blowjob when the monosyllabic grunting has begun.

You know how there are these *moments* during lovemaking...ones where you just stare into your partner`s eyes, and the world beyond the both of you simply ceases to exist?

Yea.... Now isn`t one of those moments.

The power lies with the one who wields it. As I am constantly reminded by the Fates, I am not terribly good at many things. But there are two things I can do really. really. well. Fight and fuck.

[Human Watcher Angel and Buffy 'celebrate']

   "Do you want me, Angel?" [Buffy] asked.

   "You know I do."

   "How badly?"

   He closed his eyes, bringing his hands upward to her voluptuous breasts, his thumbs teasing her nipples.  "So badly I can't think or see straight.  I want to be inside you more than I want to take my next breath."

"Saving Forever"

"Because I said so.  Do you really want to partake in a weekend-long orgy at Buffy Summers' beach house?" Melissa wanted to know.

"Yes!" Xander replied.

"Fire & Ice"

[Janna(Jenny) & Angel talking. Janna's ghost has been sent back to torture him some more and they fell in love.]

"Janna, please don't go, I lo-" [Angel says.]

"Don't say it!"

"No, I won't," his voice is strained. We both know better than to say it. I turn and reach out to him, willing my fingers to solidify as I twine them with his. The ancestors should be proud, I'm fulfilling my duty-Angel suffers and so do I.

"Beyond Absolution"

"Have you ever felt a connection to God? I mean…have you ever felt the essence of divinity inside of you. Have you ever *known* that the blood of your creator flows through you and binds you to him, that you are a part of him and always will be?"

"Time Bomb"

[Spike takes Adam's plan of splitting up the Scoobies to an extreme and ends up at Willow's room, after lying about Tara's 'cheating' heart}

With a sigh of resignation she starts kissing my shoulder and working her way up. Her tongue pushes into my mouth and she kisses me hungrily, showing her determination to fuck her way into oblivion-even with me.

I reach down and feel that she's wet and I half suspect that it's grief and tears that have made her that way-not anything I've done. It's so easy to enter her and we begin fucking in rhythm and sorrow.

If I were a better person, if I had a soul, I'd care. Luckily, I'm not encumbered by any of those things.

"Who Can You Trust?"

[Willow thinking about her future with Spike]

I suspected he had a great future planned for us, one filled with long days of sex and blood; long nights of violence and gore, entrails and other vital human organs. I welcomed the darkness... I wanted to stand on the hillside, surrounded by fire, calling out to the Goddesses of the Night, imploring them to do my bidding and destroy the town and every single insignificant being within it.

"Red's Fire: Leave"

"Exit light, enter night,

take my hand, off to never never land

dreams of war, dreams of liars,

dreams of dragon's fire,

and of things that will bite.

Sleep with one eye open,

gripping your pillow tight -

you'd better watch out, you bitch,

'cause your best friend is a demon now."

"Red's Fire"

"One of them is yours, Spike," Willow said, going to Spike, kissing him softly.  She turned to Angel, standing on her tippy toes to kiss him.  "And the other is yours.  It's our gift from the Powers that Be."

<snip>"Oh my god," Angel said, sitting down.

Spike blinked.  "We kick bloody *ass*!" he cried, turning to his Sire.

"Mina's Request"

[Mina, Willow's daughter, listens in on Willow's and Cordy's conversation about a possible marriage proposal by Gunn.]

"Ok," Mina said <snip> "I know what to do, to make sure that he [Gunn] stays with you forever."

Cordelia's eyebrow rose at Willow, then she glanced down at the strawberry blonde little girl.  "And what would that be, Mina?"

"Ok," she said, as if she knew everything.  "You have to share your crayons with him, cause he likes that.  I mean, at least Matthew likes it when I share mine with him, because mine are better than his.  He colors really hard, so all of his are real small, so I let him use mine, as long as he promises not to color hard.  And food.  Unca Xander likes food, and if I want him to do something for me, all I have to do is give him a Twinkie."

"Shades of the Past"