"The Book of Chances"


Table of Contents Frank B. Finite (a "true" atheist) Amazing Transitional Animals BF Music Beat Are You My Ancestor? SPECIAL REPORT So-So Proofs of Intelligent Design Chatter Box Subjective Psychology 101 Ask Miko The Book of Chances Caricature Christianity For Dumbies Alternate Resurrection Theory of the Month interview with a god interview with a god 2 Toon Dig EvoNews! Letters to the Editor Who Are We? The Real Story Past Issues Contact the fools	The Book of Chances (Note: We suggest reading the "introduction" contained in the first issue in order to understand the context of what is going on here. But if you are an atheist, reading within context may not be a priority - then you might as well just start reading here.) Chapter X Chances 10:1 This is the eyewtiness account of Shem, Moe, Ham, Bacon and Japheth, Noah's male offspring, who themselves had male offspring after the way too much H2O. Chances 10:2 The incidental male offspring of Japheth: Gomer, Pyle, Magog, Madai, Javan, Java Man, Tubal, Saxal, Meshech, Tiras and Wheelas. Chances 10:3 The male offspring of Gomer: Ashkenaz, Arkansas, Riphath, Tearthat and Togarmah. Chances 10:4 The male offspring of Javan: Elishah, Tarshish, the whole Kittim and Kabootle, and the Rodanim. Chances 10:5 (From these the "merry time" peoples spread out, via osmosis, into their habitats by their clans within their master-planned communities, each with its own primative golf course.) Chances 10:6 The male offspring of Ham: Cush, Ion, Mizraim, Misteraim, Put Put and Canaan (where the annual Film Festival was held). Chances 10:7 The male offspring of Cush: Seba, Havilah, Don't Havilah, Sabtah, Reemah (a.k.a. - MaRee) and Sabteca. The male offspring of Raamah: Sheba, Heba, Youba and Meba and a dog named Booba and Dedan (who always shouted, "I'm Dedan! I'm Dedan!). Chances 10:8 Cush was the proven-by-DNA-test father of Nimrod, who grew to be a mighty football player on the field. Chances 10:9 He was a mighty football player by Chance; that is why it is said, "Like Nimrod, a mighty football player scored many touchdowns by Chance." Chances 10:10 The first phases of his master-planned community were Babylon 5, Erech the Red Estates, Akkad and Calneh, in Shinar. Chances 10:11 From that land he took a road trip to Assyria, where he evolved Nineveh, Rehoboth Ir, Calahfornia Chances 10:12 and Resen, which is between a rock and a hard place; that is the great phase two. Chances 10:13 Mizraim was the male genetic source code donor of the Ludites, Anamites, Lehabites, Naphtuhites, Browns, Bengals, Patriots, Chances 10:14 Pathrusites, Casluhites (from whom the Philistines came into being momentarily), Caphtorites and the Jets. Chances 10:15 Canaan was the father of Sidon his firstevolved, and of the Hittites (who were prone to hitting), Chances 10:16 Jebusites, Amorites, Girgashites, Cowboys, Jaguars, Steelers Chances 10:17 Hivites, Arkites, Sinites, Texans, Ravens, Chiefs, Chances 10:18 Arvadites, Zemarites and Hamathites. Later the Canaanite clans were randomly scattered Chances 10:19 and the borders of Canaan evolved from Sidon toward Gerar as far as Gaza, and then toward a place called Bounty, Sodom, And, Gomorrah, Admah and Evema, Zeboiim, as far as the Eye Lasha could see and even over the edge of the non-flat earth. Chances 10:20 These are the male offspring of Ham by their clans and communication methods, in their phases and master-planned communities. Chances 10:21 Male offspring were also evolved to Shem, whose older male sibling was Japheth; Shem was the less complex organism ancestor of all the male offspring of Eber. Chances 10:22 The male offspring of Shem: Elam (backwards = male), Asshur, Notsoshur, Arphaxad (from planet "X"), Lud and Aram (a.k.a. mountain-goat boy). Chances 10:23 The male offspring of Aram: Uz and Them, Hul and Pea, Gether and Congregate, and Meshech Taylor. Chances 10:24 Arphaxad was the sperm donor of Shelah (a rather girly name for a man), and Shelah the father of Eber (that's more like it). Chances 10:25 Two male offspring flowed to Eber: One was named Pegleg, because in his time he had a peg leg; his brother was named Joktan because he was one tan jock. Chances 10:26 Joktan the Klingon was the father of Almodad, Almomom, Almochildren, Sheleph and Heleph, Hazarmaveth, Jerah and Tol, Chances 10:27 Hadoram, Lostoram, Uzal, Weal, Diklah (whos actual name was Richardlah), Chances 10:28 Obal, Obounce, Abimael, Abifemael, Sheba, Heba, Youba and Meba Chances 10:29 Ophir Theluvofpete, Havilah the Supreme, Jobab and Jomama. All these were mostly male offspring of Joktan the Klingon. Chances 10:30 The region where they existed stretched (not to mean that the land actually physically stretched) from Mesha toward Sephar, in the chapel hill country. Chances 10:31 These are the male offspring of Shem by their clans and communication methods, in their habitats and master-planned communities. Chances 10:32 These are the clans of Noah's male offspring, according to their lines of evolution, within their master-planned communities. From these the master-planned communities spread out over the earth after the way too much H2O. Chapter 11 is evolving nicely, thank you very much. Due to a spontaneously and randomly evolving blind pseudo-chain of events, and for no particular reason, you are victim number:

The Book of Chances

(Note: We suggest reading the "introduction" contained in the first issue in order to understand the context of what is going on here. But if you are an atheist, reading within context may not be a priority - then you might as well just start reading here.)

Chapter X

Chances 10:1 This is the eyewtiness account of Shem, Moe, Ham, Bacon and Japheth, Noah's male offspring, who themselves had male offspring after the way too much H2O.

Chances 10:2 The incidental male offspring of Japheth: Gomer, Pyle, Magog, Madai, Javan, Java Man, Tubal, Saxal, Meshech, Tiras and Wheelas.

Chances 10:3 The male offspring of Gomer: Ashkenaz, Arkansas, Riphath, Tearthat and Togarmah.

Chances 10:4 The male offspring of Javan: Elishah, Tarshish, the whole Kittim and Kabootle, and the Rodanim.

Chances 10:5 (From these the "merry time" peoples spread out, via osmosis, into their habitats by their clans within their master-planned communities, each with its own primative golf course.)

Chances 10:6 The male offspring of Ham: Cush, Ion, Mizraim, Misteraim, Put Put and Canaan (where the annual Film Festival was held).

Chances 10:7 The male offspring of Cush: Seba, Havilah, Don't Havilah, Sabtah, Reemah (a.k.a. - MaRee) and Sabteca. The male offspring of Raamah: Sheba, Heba, Youba and Meba and a dog named Booba and Dedan (who always shouted, "I'm Dedan! I'm Dedan!).

Chances 10:8 Cush was the proven-by-DNA-test father of Nimrod, who grew to be a mighty football player on the field.

Chances 10:9 He was a mighty football player by Chance; that is why it is said, "Like Nimrod, a mighty football player scored many touchdowns by Chance."

Chances 10:10 The first phases of his master-planned community were Babylon 5, Erech the Red Estates, Akkad and Calneh, in Shinar.

Chances 10:11 From that land he took a road trip to Assyria, where he evolved Nineveh, Rehoboth Ir, Calahfornia

Chances 10:12 and Resen, which is between a rock and a hard place; that is the great phase two.

Chances 10:13 Mizraim was the male genetic source code donor of the Ludites, Anamites, Lehabites, Naphtuhites, Browns, Bengals, Patriots,

Chances 10:14 Pathrusites, Casluhites (from whom the Philistines came into being momentarily), Caphtorites and the Jets.

Chances 10:15 Canaan was the father of Sidon his firstevolved, and of the Hittites (who were prone to hitting),

Chances 10:16 Jebusites, Amorites, Girgashites, Cowboys, Jaguars, Steelers

Chances 10:17 Hivites, Arkites, Sinites, Texans, Ravens, Chiefs,

Chances 10:18 Arvadites, Zemarites and Hamathites. Later the Canaanite clans were randomly scattered

Chances 10:19 and the borders of Canaan evolved from Sidon toward Gerar as far as Gaza, and then toward a place called Bounty, Sodom, And, Gomorrah, Admah and Evema, Zeboiim, as far as the Eye Lasha could see and even over the edge of the non-flat earth.

Chances 10:20 These are the male offspring of Ham by their clans and communication methods, in their phases and master-planned communities.

Chances 10:21 Male offspring were also evolved to Shem, whose older male sibling was Japheth; Shem was the less complex organism ancestor of all the male offspring of Eber.

Chances 10:22 The male offspring of Shem: Elam (backwards = male), Asshur, Notsoshur, Arphaxad (from planet "X"), Lud and Aram (a.k.a. mountain-goat boy).

Chances 10:23 The male offspring of Aram: Uz and Them, Hul and Pea, Gether and Congregate, and Meshech Taylor.

Chances 10:24 Arphaxad was the sperm donor of Shelah (a rather girly name for a man), and Shelah the father of Eber (that's more like it).

Chances 10:25 Two male offspring flowed to Eber: One was named Pegleg, because in his time he had a peg leg; his brother was named Joktan because he was one tan jock.

Chances 10:26 Joktan the Klingon was the father of Almodad, Almomom, Almochildren, Sheleph and Heleph, Hazarmaveth, Jerah and Tol,

Chances 10:27 Hadoram, Lostoram, Uzal, Weal, Diklah (whos actual name was Richardlah),

Chances 10:28 Obal, Obounce, Abimael, Abifemael, Sheba, Heba, Youba and Meba

Chances 10:29 Ophir Theluvofpete, Havilah the Supreme, Jobab and Jomama. All these were mostly male offspring of Joktan the Klingon.

Chances 10:30 The region where they existed stretched (not to mean that the land actually physically stretched) from Mesha toward Sephar, in the chapel hill country.

Chances 10:31 These are the male offspring of Shem by their clans and communication methods, in their habitats and master-planned communities.

Chances 10:32 These are the clans of Noah's male offspring, according to their lines of evolution, within their master-planned communities. From these the master-planned communities spread out over the earth after the way too much H2O.

Chapter 11 is evolving nicely, thank you very much.

Due to a spontaneously and randomly evolving blind pseudo-chain
of events, and for no particular reason, you are victim number:

Table of Contents