DISCLAIMER: The characters of Ian Ware and Reggie Higgins belong to MGM Studios. Anything else is mine. The song "She's Every Woman" is by Garth Brooks, from the Fresh Horses album.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is the third in the "Same Old Lang Syne" series - it started off as one story, and now it's just grown! If you haven't read Playing for You and Same Old Lang Syne especially the latter, I'd advise you to do so. There's one more left in the series - feedback would be appreciated!
Reggie sat in front of the tv set alone, just as she'd done every night for a while now. Tonight though, she didn't mind it so much. The reason for that was shortly to come onto her tv screen to sit beside David Letterman. She had made a point of watching the show any time any of her old friends were on it, even though she wasn't a big Letterman fan. Tonight though, it was different.
Tonight it was special.
Tonight's guest was Ian Ware.
It was hard for Reggie to believe that it had been six months since she'd met him in the grocery store that Christmas Eve. It had been one hell of a six months, that was for sure. Christmas seemed like a lifetime ago. She remembered his last words to her, that she should call him any time she wanted to. He'd even given her his card. She looked at it in the flickering firelight, reading the number of his cell phone off the well-thumbed card, even though she knew them by heart.
She'd never called him of course.
But by God, she'd thought about it.
How many times had she sat down beside the phone, even picked it up, dialed half the number, only to put it down again. How many times had she dreamed of hearing his voice?
But she had her life, and he had his. His new album was near the top of the charts, and the critics were raving about the "new" Ian Ware. She'd made a beeline for the record store the minute it came out, and she agreed with all the reviews. It was some of his best work, more mature than what he'd done in the past. The ballads in particular were some of Reggie's favourites.
Sometimes, alone at night, she pretended that Ian was singing them to her.
That was a silly fantasy that gave her comfort.
Just then, the Late Show came back from commercial, and Reggie found herself sitting up straighter, leaning forward in her seat.
"And now ladies and gentlemen," said Letterman. "We have a guest whose latest album, Playing for You has just been certified platinum, completing one of the biggest comebacks I can remember. Mr Ian Ware."
Ian came out then and shook Letterman's hand, sitting down.
"Welcome back Ian." Letterman began. "You've been here a couple times before."
Ian grinned sheepishly. "Well, that's what they tell me."
"I was surprised the producers would let you come back."
"You and me both Dave. From what I've 'eard, I wasn't the model guest."
The audience laughed nervously. "Well, we're not going to go into that...." Letterman assured them.
"Good," interjected Ian.
"....except to say that all those problems are behind you now, correct?"
"That's right."
"Guess you're sick of people asking you that."
Ian grinned. "Well, that's just it. When you self destruct on a grand scale, which is what I did, you have to expect that people are going to worry about you, and look out for you. They tried to do that before, but I just didn't wanna know basically."
"You ignored their advice?"
"Big time. When you're as messed up as I was, you eventually reach rock bottom. And from there, there's only one way to go."
"Very profound. So," he banged the CD down on the desk. "The new album. Platinum. How does it feel?"
Ian let the audience applaud before he replied. "It feels great. I had a lot of people supporting me, who kept believing in me, no matter what, and it's nice when something like this happens, that I can share it with them. Kinda pay 'em back."
"You've been touring to promote it?"
"Yeah, a different city every night. This is the first time I've been home since Christmas, so I'm plannin' to take it easy, look up some friends, do a bit of catchin' up...."
"It's funny to hear you call New York "home" with that accent of yours!"
"Guess so. But I've lived here since I was seventeen, so it's more like home to me than London now."
"That's right, because you went to the School of the Arts. What was that like?"
Well, it definitely wasn't your ordinary school!" Ian laughed, then paused for a moment, caught up in some memories. "It's a great place. I made some really good friends there, that I still keep in touch with...Danny Amatullo, Jesse Velasquez, Leroy Johnson...." The audience applauded each name. "It was 'ard comin' there at first, not only being the new kid, but also tryin' to get used to a whole new country. And it's tough....people think it's all dancin' and singin' and no work, but it's real graft. I worked harder there than I ever did in London."
"And you don't regret leaving England?"
"Nah." Ian didn't even have to think about that. "Everything I am now, I owe to that school. Professionally, personally, everything. It was the makings of me."
Now it was Letterman's turn to pause as the audience applauded, and Reggie used to opportunity to wipe away an errant tear. She'd known she missed Ian, but she hadn't realised just how much until now.
"So," Letterman continued. "Tell me about the new single."
"It's actually an old song, I wrote it years ago. At the School of the Arts actually."
"And is there a story behind it? I heard there usually are behind your songs."
"Yeah, a bit of a long one." Ian reached behind the seat for an acoustic guitar and began to tune it as he spoke. "I wrote it for a girl...."
"Surprise surprise," Letterman deadpanned.
"Ah now, it wasn't like that. She wasn't just any girl."
"A serious girl?"
"Very serious." Ian reflected honestly. "She's probably the love of my life. I just didn't know it at the time."
"And what happened to the two of you?"
"Life." He strummed the guitar again, more to figure out what to say that to ascertain if it was in tune. "We were young....I got a record deal....we just moved in different directions."
"Do you still keep in touch?"
"No, not really. She's got her life, I've got mine. The two don't really meet."
"Do you miss her?"
Ian's voice was quiet. "Every day."
He began to play the guitar then, and Letterman wisely let him go on with the song. He knew he couldn't have come up with a better introduction than that.
As Ian played, Reggie felt more tears come into her eyes. And when he began to sing, she found herself transported back in time, back to when she was seventeen, a student at the School of the Arts...and totally, utterly, and as she thought, unrequitedly, in love with Ian Ware.....
The door to the dressing room opened slowly, but Reggie didn't even look around. She knew exactly who it was going to be. "Hey Jillie," she said.
Jillian Beckett was surprised. "How did you know it was me?" she asked.
"It had to be you." A trace of bitterness invaded Reggie's voice. "Who else was going to come after me?"
Jillian sat down beside her. "You sure left the cafeteria in a hurry. And you've been in a bad mood all week. You didn't even go to the showing of the Alumnus Week video last night. What's wrong?"
"Nothing." Reggie's voice was flat, expressionless. "Everything's fine."
Jillian bit her lip, and played a hunch. "This is about Ian isn't it?" It wasn't the wildest guess in the world, pretty easy actually.
"Why would it be about Ian? He's made it perfectly clear, he doesn't care about me like that."
"You know Ian. He's not good with showing his feelings."
"He was good when it came to Joanna."
"But Reggie, he didn't go with Joanna. That has to count for something."
"That's what I thought. But obviously, not enough."
Reggie stood up and walked out of the room.
"Reggie, wait!"
An all-too-familiar voice called out her name as Reggie walked down the hall on her way home. She conciously quickened her stride to get away from him - she really didn't want to talk to Ian just now. Her heart sank as she heard him run to catch up with her.
"Didn't you 'ear me?" Ian asked her when she finally turned to face him.
"Sorry."
"Are you ok Reggie? You don't seem your usual self."
Nice of you to notice Reggie thought to herself. Out loud, she simply said, "I'm fine. I just have a few things on my mind is all."
"Anything I can do?"
You don't really want me to answer that.... "No, but thanks anyway."
"Look, I just wanted to make sure that you were going to come to Lou's tomorrow night. You know, for the talent showcase?"
Reggie ran a hand through her hair. "I'm not sure Ian..."
"Oh, come on!" Ian's voice was pleading. "You haven't been out in ages. It'll do you good."
"We'll see Ian."
"I'd really like you to be there."
"Maybe."
"Think about it?"
"OK."
Of course, she hadn't gone to the showcase. Maybe it had been unfair of her, but she just hadn't been able to face it. She kept thinking that everyone knew what she was feeling, that it was written all over her face. She couldn't stand that.
Even worse was the fact that Ian didn't have a clue what she was feeling. He just thought of them as buddies, nothing more. Once upon a time, Reggie would have been happy with that. She'd had a crush on Ian ever since he came to the school. They'd begun spending a lot of time together - after all, they both marched to the beat of a different drummer. Somewhere along the line, she'd ended up falling for him...and they'd occasionally been more than friends. The arrival of Joanna had thrown a spanner into the works, in more ways than one. Once Reggie was faced with the prospect of losing Ian, it had become clear to her that he was much more than just a friend to her.
She didn't just like him.
She wasn't just attracted to him.
She'd fallen head over heels for him.
He just didn't feel the same.
Her reverie was interrupted by her bedroom door flying open, and Jillian breezing in.
"What....?"
"Your mom let me in," Jillian got rid of the need for explanations, and looked hard at Reggie. "Get your coat."
"Why?"
"Why didn't you go to the showcase tonight? Get your coat."
"Because I didn't want to. And I'm not getting my coat because I'm not going out. Jillie!"
Reggie's voice went up an octave when she realised that Jillian had gone over to her closet and started to pull out her coat. "I'm not taking no for an answer here Reg. I have my brother's car, and you're coming with me."
"Why?"
"Didn't Ian ask you to come to the showcase?"
"Yeah."
"Then why didn't you come?"
The coat landed on Reggie's lap. "Why should I?"
"And he didn't play his song for you?"
"No."
"You've never heard it?"
"No. Look Jillie, what's this all about?"
"Regina Elizabeth Higgins," Jillian's voice broked no argument. "You are going to put this coat on you, or I'll drag you out of here without it! But one way or another, you're coming with me, and we're going to sort this out once and for all."
True to her word, and taking advantage of the fact that Reggie was shocked by the use of her full name, she pulled her up by the arm and dragged her out the door.
When Jillian finally stopped the car, Reggie looked at where they were without any real surprise. "I'm not going in there," she said flatly.
"Reggie, if I have to drag you up the stairs, you're going into that appartment."
"I can't." Even from here, she could see the light on in Ian's window. "I can't go up there."
"You've got to Reggie. You really didn't hear that song he wrote did you?"
"No. Why?"
"Go in. Get him to play it for you. It'll explain everything. I promise." Reggie looked doubtfully at her. "Trust me."
Taking a deep breath, Reggie knocked at the door. Ian looked surprised when he saw her standing there.
Surprised - and hurt.
"Hi," she said.
"Hi." He stood back to let her in. "You're in the wrong place."
"What?"
"The showcase was at Lous. And it was two hours ago."
"I'm sorry."
"You knew I wanted you to be there. You knew it mattered to me."
"Actually, I didn't."
"I asked you to be there."
"So what? We do stuff together all the time! And I never know if it's just fun to you or if there's something more there! Sometimes I think that you only care where I am or what I'm doing when it's convenient for you!"
"Reggie!"
Ian's voice betrayed his shock, but that wasn't enough to stop Reggie in full flight. "I'm sick of this Ian. We've been going back and forth for months now - we go out, we make out, but you never tell me how you feel. Except for a week when you come over "all romantic", " - she aped his accent in what was a fairly passable imitation, which made him smile, but she never noticed. "Then, your ex-girlfriend comes along, and not only do I get dropped like a hot potato, but you come this close" - a thumb and forefinger a centimeter apart were thrust into Ian's face - "to leaving with her. But you don't. You bounce back to me, and the whole thing starts all over again."
As Reggie paused for breath, Ian jumped in. "Quite a speech there."
Reggie walked over to the window and looked out. "Don't make fun of me Ian."
"I'm not."
"I just need to know where I stand with you." To her horror, Reggie felt tears coming into her eyes.
"Reggie, look at me." Ian came over to her and turned her face to him. "Look at me." He wiped away the tear that had fallen, then leaning towards her, he kissed her. When he pulled away, he just held her for what seemed like a long time.
"I'm glad I came over," Reggie whispered.
"Me too." Ian paused. "Why did you come over here?"
"Jillian made me."
"Yeah, I thought she might be planning something. She went out of Lou's looking like she meant business."
"That's for sure."
"I think I know why she wanted you to come here." Ian pulled away from her and sat her down on the sofa. He walked over and got his guitar. "This is the song that I played earlier. It might clear things up." He began to play.
She's sun and rain
She's fire and ice
A little crazy but it's nice
And when she gets mad
You'd best leave her alone
Cause she'll rage just like a river
And she'll beg you to forgive her
Oh she's every woman that I've ever known
She's so New York and then L.A
And every town along the way
She's every place that I've never been
She's making love on rainy nights
SHe's a stroll through Christmas lights
And she's everything I want to do again
And it needs no explanation
Cause it all makes perfect sense
For when it comes down to temptation
She's on both sides of the fence
No it needs no explanation
Cause it all makes perfect sense
For when it comes down to temptation
She's on both sides of the fence
She's anything but typical
She's so unpredictable
But even at her worst she ain't that bad
She's as real as real can be
And she's every fantasy
And she's every lover that I've ever had
And she's every lover that I've never had.
When he was finished, Reggie was crying again.
"You're not supposed to be crying," Ian gently chided her.
"It's kinda mushy isn't it?" Reggie teased him, recalling a different mushy song they'd written together.
"Yeah, well, it's supposed to be mushy." Once again, Ian reached over and wiped away a tear. "It's a love song ain't it?"
"Is it?"
"It's about you innit?" He saw the doubt in her eyes. "Reggie, I'm not good with big gestures, or talking about how I feel. I guess I just thought you knew."
"And how do you feel?"
"Reggie...." Ian took a deep breath. "I stayed here because there's a lot for me to learn at the school. That's a big part of it. But you played a big part in my decision. I don't think I realised how much until you started acting so distant. You mean more to me than anyone I know."
"Really?"
"Really. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that I might be falling in love with you Miss Higgins."
"That's good."
"It is?"
"Yeah. Because I'm definitely falling in love with you."
Smiling, they kissed again.
All that went through Reggie's mind as she watched Ian sing the exact same song on Letterman.
Her song.
Now, as then, tears rolled down her face. But this time, he wasn't there to wipe them away.
But he was still singing to her.
The studio audience applauded long and loud. "That was beautiful Ian. Really beautiful," Letterman said sincerely.
"Well, yeah. It's for a beautiful woman."
"Did you write many of your songs for her?"
Ian looked directly into the camera, and Reggie had a feeling that he was looking right at her, and only her. "All of them," he answered.
From then on, Reggie didn't really hear much of the interview - it was really only polite thank-yous and goodbyes.
All she could think about was Ian, and that song, and the way he looked at her that night so long ago.
The exact same way he had looked into the camera that night.
She reached over to the coffee table again and picked up the card, looking at numbers she already knew by heart.
She stood up, walked over to the phone, and began to dial.