Star Wars = Allegorical Tale of Coming to Terms with
Homosexuality
In anticipation of Attack of the Clones, I've spent several days
watching and rewatching the original trilogy. After about my 90th viewing I
realized Star Wars fans have entirely missed Star War's secret
sub text! It is clearly an allegorical tale of a young man coming to terms
with his homosexuality. Luke Skywalker subconsciously realizes he's gay yet
he cannot come to terms with his sexual orientation. When one examines the
symbolism George "What are you hiding with that beard!" Lucas lays
out before us, it is clear. Consider:
- Luke
lives on a desert world. The dry planet is symbolic of an unaroused
woman. Try as he might, Luke cannot bring himself to devoting a life
time to arousing her. The locals (the straights) spend all their time
working their phallic-shaped vaporators in hopes of drawing out the
moisture. Luke is not at all interested in this activity.
A moisture vaporator in use
- Luke
surrounds himself with phallic symbols: lightsabers, X- wings (take a
look at the front of an X-wing, it's clearly the head of a penis), R2
Units, and blasters.
IT'S AS CLEAR AS MY LEGO MODEL!
- Luke
is enamored with a swarthy, dark-haired, older man with a mustache and a
phallic name like Biggs. Biggs, of course, is a sailor.
I mean come on the guy is wearing a cravat!
- Luke accepts his lightsaber
(e.g. takes a penis) from an older sexual mentor (Ben, another sailor).
- The
head of a gaffi stick is clearly symbolic of an emerging clitoris. Luke
gets beaten severely by a couple gaffi sticks. Sandpeople (notice how
Lucas doesn't call them "Sandmen" but "people",
playing the pronoun game to hide their sex) are not really men at all.
They're mad women, beating the emotional crap out of Luke because he can
not satisfy their needs!
Tuskan Raider or blow up doll? You decide!
- Remember what Ben says
about the Sand People: "The Sandpeople are easily startled but they
will soon be back and in greater numbers." This is just like women
at bars! They are easily frightened and they travel in large numbers to
the washroom.
- Luke befriends a 3rd sailor
he picks up in bar named Han Solo (hand solo?).
- Han, of course, has
Chewbacca, his life partner. Clearly the bandolier that Chewie
wears is bondage symbolism.
- Stormtroopers are symbolic
of sperm. The sperm have clearly penetrated the Death Star, which is
symbolic of the woman's egg. Luke destroys the egg.
- Luke, captured by the egg,
requires Ben (a sailor) to release him from the egg's grip.
- The trash compactor walls
are symbolic of vaginal walls. They're closing in on Luke. While Han
works the walls, Luke calls on his gay friends C3PO and R2 to get him
out of this sticky situation.
- The Force is a reference to
the force one requires to achieve anal penetration. "Let go,
Luke" is clearly a reference to relaxing the muscles to allow anal
penetration.
- In Ben's bachelor pad on
Tatooine, Ben makes a pass at Luke. BEN: Learn about the Force, Luke.
LUKE: Look, I can take you as far as Anchorhead. Translation: Ben
wants to bugger Luke but Luke isn't ready for a top. He can only offer
Ben oral.
- No pilot looks forward to
launching his torpedoes against the exhaust port or the
"chute". Luke can't wait to send his torpedo up the chute. If
you doubt the chute is the anus then recall that the exhaust port is
"right below the main port" (i.e., the vagina).
- Luke gets his jollies
abusing space gerbils known as womp rats.
- Luke fights against
wedge-shaped Star Destroyers. The c*** word used for a woman's sex
organs is related to the term "cuneate" which is defined as
"Wedge-shaped: Used especially to describe a leaf or petal base
that is narrowly triangular." Clearly, Star Destroyers are examples
of more vaginal symbolism Luke attempts to rebel against.
- Need I remind you, during
the final act, Luke sends his companion Wedge away.
- Wedge is curiously
effeminate wouldn't you say?
- Luke's sole female
attraction is Leia. Unable to consummate a relationship with her because
he's gay, Luke spins a fantasy that she's his sister, thereby absolving
himself of the need to confront his sexuality.
- Vader
is Luke's unrealized sexuality personified. Again, Vader's helmet is
clearly styled after the head of a penis.
Uh huh
- Luke is constantly told
Vader (that is, homosexuality) is evil, yet in the back of his mind Luke
can't help but realize there is some good in homosexuality.
- Luke's vision in the tree
(another phallic symbol), where his head is cut off, is a symbolic
castration.
- After Luke's first
encounter with homosexuality (Vader), he discovers homosexuality
"runs in the family". It is his destiny. His right hand (his
masturbation hand) is lopped off. His "safe" method of sexual
release has been cut off. He is left with only his "queer"
hand. (I should also note a touch typist can type "star wars"
using nothing but the left or "queer" hand, leaving your right
hand free for naughty purposes and the poking of the fingers!) He now
must make a choice. Luke, at this point, cannot accept his homosexuality
and plunges headlong into the airshaft (the airshaft is vaginal
symbolism). Yet, he's rejected. Spat out. I should also note,
- After he's spat out of the
vagina, he falls into the waiting arms of another swarthy sailor
(Lando).
- After Luke's first
"encounter", he is drawn to repeat the experience. His final
confrontation and acceptance of his homosexuality naturally takes place
at the point of a phallic symbol (the Emperor's tower).
- The
inside of the Emperor's tower looks a lot like a bath house.
Remember how the Emperor strokes the lightsaber
and says to Luke "you want this"?
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