Chuck Dean - SEATTLE WA

I went off the deep end when I got together with an old friend, a Vietnam veteran. We were involved in an organization that protested taxes and radically opposed the current government structure. This “patriot” movement really hit a chord with me, and I soon became a fanatic.

Athena, a conservative person who rarely likes to rock the boat, soon found herself married to a man on the verge of going to jail. I felt I needed to change the government, the tax system, license system, and every other system connected with modern American life. In a period of three months, I submitted affidavits to all branches of the government, revoking my driver’s license, social security number, marriage license, and fishing license. I sent them all back and declared myself a “natural-born citizen” of the United States who did not need to be licensed to be a citizen. I returned my license plate to the secretary of state and mounted my own which said, “Just Skip It.” When I would get stopped by the police I would tell them that I wasn’t required to have a license plate or driver’s license because I was a natural individual and citizen of the United States. I never got a ticket or trip to jail. The officers were either confused or didn’t want to bother with me.

During the course of a year, Athena threatened several times to kick me out. When the IRS and state’s attorney came to visit, that snapped the camel’s back. I had been running a fundraising business through a “warehouse” bank which kept few records. When it got raided, everyone with an account got a visit. Athena told me that it was all over, and she wanted a divorce. This devastated me. I knew she was the best thing I had ever had in my life. She had caused so many positive changes in me, and here I was committing another relational suicide with the best woman in the world.

After about a week of freaking out, stressing out, insomnia, and really going crazy inside, I broke down and called a friend in Burbank.

Bill was in the same business as Athena and had helped us many times before. So for some reason, I felt he was the only one who could possibly help restore our broken relationship.

I called him and simply said, “Bill, I really need a friend right now.”

He was quiet for a moment and then replied, “Chuck, you need the Lord.”

His statement stunned me. A week earlier, I might have laughed, but at that moment, with my life in shambles, something inside told me that what he was saying was true, that here was the answer I’d been seeking, though outwardly avoiding, for years. I straightened up in the chair, wiped my nose, and brushed the tears from my red, swollen eyes.

“Yeah,” I said softly. “I guess that’s one thing I haven’t tried. Maybe that’s what I need to do.”

Bill talked with me for a little while, then asked if I was willing to pray with him. I agreed, because I knew that the way I was headed could only end in disaster. Then and there, over long distance Ma Bell, I prayed with him, giving my heart, soul, and life to the Lord Jesus Christ.

When I got off the phone, I didn’t hear angels singing or rockets going off. But I felt different. I didn’t have any glitzy TV or Hollywood-hyped religious experience. But there was a peace in my mind I hadn’t felt before, a sense of release far beyond any of my writer’s dumps. Gradually, I realized that I had been inducted into a new army … heaven’s.

I also knew that I had been the cause of the marriage problems between Athena and me, and I was willing to move out of her life if that would give her more peace. I didn’t expect or demand anything from anyone anymore, because in an instant God had filled my inner void, the secret desire that I had never known existed until I surrendered all my problems to Him. I was now what I had always told myself I would never be: a Christian. But I know understood that a Christian is a person remade by God into a new, eternal, joyous being. I knew that whatever happened now, it would be all right. I would be all right. This calming, secure sensibility replaced the feelings of death, fear, and agony that I had experienced and expected to experience for the rest of my life.

Lives Get Fixed

Although we were working out the details of separation and divorce, Athena and I still lived together during this time. We had agreed that I could live there while preparing to move back to California. After my phone conversation with Bill, and the resulting change in my life, I spoke with her briefly and told her I was no longer resisting the split-up. I said she would always be my favorite person in the world, and all that I wanted for her was a peaceful and prosperous life.

Perplexed by the gentleness that had suddenly come over me, she discovered that I had talked with Bill. After I left, she called him to find out what was going on. Athena had never had much exposure to God, Jesus Christ, or the church. Her father was a professing atheist, and she grew up with virtually no religious background. So when Bill told her I had asked Jesus to come into my life and save me, she laughed.

“Chuck a Christian? You’ve gotta be joking! That’s the last thing I’d ever expect from him.”

I prayed that God would fix the mess I’d made of our marriage. Two days later, He put His big hand in the middle of our lives and smoothed out all the ugly wrinkles. We were on a trip back from a business retreat, and Athena was inflexible about the divorce. As we talked, she found out that her secretary (and her secretary’s boyfriend) were planning on joining me in a new business venture in California. She realized that her secretary had instigated many of our fights and began to see where our problems were coming from. Her heart softened, and we were restored as husband and wife. All the divorce plans whisked away forever. Three weeks latter, Athena asked the Lord to forgive her and enter her life. Seeing her transformed as I had been added to the miracle that had happened in my life.

Our restored marriage was the beginning of the healing God had in store for me. I soon found out that He had erased my long dread of dying --- I had been in four years of trauma about the idea of my death. My urge to drink and use dope vanished abruptly. The heavy symptoms of my PTSD felt like part of another life that I had once lived, but now was dead and gone. The nightmares and horrible mental pictures of the war had been transferred from my present self to the former Chuck, the dead person who was no longer part of my new life. It was as if Jesus had taken all the mental images from my subconscious mind and mounted them in a photo album. I could still see them from time to time, but they no longer impinged on my life or dictated the symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. I had finally found peace for my troubled mind, and it has stuck with me since that liberated phone call to Bill.

The road to recovery from Vietnam took on a new meaning and hope with Jesus in my life.

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Point Man International Ministries
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Spring Brook NY 14140
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