Buffy’s Weird Relationships

Introduction

One of the great things that Joss Whedon does is make many of the non-canon relationships seem entirely plausible. A non-canon relationship is a romance that goes against what has happened on the show. Canonical relationships are as follows as of the episode "Consequences:"

I got my introduction to non-canonical relationships from the Un-Conventional ‘Shippers List Homepage (USCL) – one of the greatest websites to ever exist. Some of the most intriguing non-canon ‘ships are explored with smut galore. I highly recommend a visit to the site if you are of the age of majority in your country of citizenship.

Laying the basic groundwork for non-canonical relationships, I’m gonna go ahead and state my faves:

Other combos that I’ll explore:

There are so many possibilities, it would take forever to go through each possible relationship. Be forewarned – if you have problems with homosexuality, lesbianism, smutty thoughts, threesomes, orgies, sodomy, chickens (live and rubber), spam, lustful utterings, references to sex, or naked pictures of Jesse Helms you should probably stop reading here. My guess is that 97% of you are staying for Jesse’s withered schlong-shot, and having oogled it myself, I can’t say that I blame you.

A few other notes for ya. . . The name abbreviations make things easier for me, but I still must admit that they look weird. I derived that practice from soap opera fans, who almost always abbreviate the name of a couple like that. However, on soap couples, the names are almost always cool. I can think of some from my own soap – Jeva, Matessa, Bloss, etc. Where plausible/possible, I have provided a picture of the couple in question. If not, just use your overactive, hypersexual imagination – cause of the fun.

This entire section is a credit to Joss Whedon, a reflection of my bizarre, sick, twisted but ultimately awesome thoughts and a bravo to the cast of Buffy for being so damn beautiful. Except for Charisma Carpenter. What a dog. Woof.