RACE USA by Mark Rosenfelder, Australia by Chris O'Regan, Austria by Klaus A. Brunner, Brazil by Emilio Neto, Brittany (France) by Damien Erwan Perrotin, Canada & Ontario by Adam Bishop, British Columbia (Canada) by PJ Perdue, Quebec (Canada) by Valerie Bourdeau, China by the English class at the Suzhou branch of Agile Software Co, Colombia by Carlos Thompson Pinzón, England by Graham John Francis de Sales Wheeler, Finland by Johanna Laakso, France by Nicolas Duvernois, Germany by Irgend Jemand, Greece by Chris TDAQ, India by Apurva Mishra, Israel by Robin Alexander, Italy by Riccardo Distasi, Japan by Hirofumi Nagamura, Urban Mexico by Acoyani Garrido Sandoval, The Netherlands by Bas Suverkropp, New Zealand by Gareth Wilson, Nigeria by Didi, Poland by Pawel Stachura, Scotland by Geoff Eddy, South Africa by T'Mar, Sweden by Anders Janson, Turkey by Cyril Alebard, Long Island by Robert Delaney, Southern Louisiana by Andrew Chaney, Texas by Tom Wier, Yorkshire (UK) by Stephanie Bailey, Uruguay by Andy Rosa, Southcentral Alaska by Cherie Campbell, and the general characteristics of the First Generation Immigrant by John Smith
Country or region	Variety of races / attitudes about race & foreigners	You make jokes about...
NORTH AMERICA
USA	Between "black" and "white" there are no other races. Someone with one black and one white parent looks black to you.	The nationality people most often make jokes about is the French.
ALASKA SOUTH-CENTRAL, USA	Between "black" and "white" there are no other races except Native. Someone with one black and one white parent looks black to you. Southcentral Alaska is overwhelmingly white, but more remote areas are more likely to have a mix of Alaska Natives and white people.	The nationality people most often make jokes about is the French. However, you more often make fun of other Alaskans: if you are in a relatively developed area, you probably make jokes about those deeper in the woods than you. Vice versa if you live deep in the woods. Almost everyone outside of Anchorage makes fun of the people who live there; Anchorage inhabitants are the closest thing here to "big city types". Texas is also the butt of some jokes, since they seem to labor under the illusion that their state is huge. Ha! You know that if Alaska were divided in half, Texas would be the third largest state in the Union.
LONG ISLAND, USA	Communities tend to be all-white, all-black, or all-hispanic, with only a few areas being fully integrated. A recent survey found that LI is the most segregated suburb in the country. There is growing anti-immigrant sentiment and even some violence and hate group activity.	You'd be willing to make jokes about people who live in Hicksville, but it has never occurred to you that it's a funny name.
LOUISIANA, USA	There are two races: Black and White.	Jokes about nationalities (e.g. Polish) are pretty rare. Race or religion based jokes are more common.
TEXAS, USA
CANADA	Most of the people are "white," meaning from anywhere in Europe. There are lots of blacks though, from Africa, the Caribbean or descended from escaped American slaves. There are lots of Asians and East Indians too. You are also very aware of the problems the government has with the native population, but you try not to think about it.	You usually steal American jokes, so there are lots about the Polish. But you also joke about Americans, natives, Quebec, and people from Newfoundland (if you are not from the Maritimes). You also make fun of Newfoundland because they are not in a full time-zone, they are only half an hour ahead of Atlantic Canada (and an hour and a half ahead of Ontario, etc). So if you say something is at a certain time, you can say "and a half hour later in Newfoundland."
BRITISH COLUMBIA, CANADA	You may not know any black people, but you see native Indians (referred to as First Nations people) everywhere, and are familiar with their struggles for land and self-government. You may resent them for what you see as special treatment. B.C. has a huge population of Chinese immigrants. Anyone who lives in the Northwest Territories or the Yukon is likely to be a Cree or another of the First Nation peoples. Nunavut was carved out of the Northwest Territories for the Inuit, who are separate from the First Nations.	The people who are most often the butt of jokes are from Newfoundland (if you're in B.C.) or B.C.'ers (if you're in the Maritimes). Everyone makes fun of les Québecois.
ONTARIO, CANADA	Although Ontario used to be a haven for escaped American slaves, if you don't live in a city you are very unlikely to see any non-European people at all (and, while usually not quite racist, have some apprehension about them, especially if you are older). The closer to Toronto you get, the more multicultural the province becomes, with many Asian, African, and Caribbean people. Italian, Greek, Portuguese, Polish, and various other populations are also represented. There are some German and Dutch pockets around the province as well. Large numbers of Irish immigrants came to Ontario in the 1800's. Because there were a lot of English and Irish Protestant immigrants at the same time, they brought their dislike for each other with them, and it still exists (however insignificantly), especially in rural areas. There are many Native (or First Nation) reservations, and you complain about their special treatment by the government. Occasionally tensions between the government and the Natives become violent, which causes you to complain about them even more, but you wouldn't bother trying to understand why these things happen.	The people you joke about most are, well, everyone who lives outside of Ontario. "Newfie" jokes are very popular, although sometimes you just replace "blonde" with "Newfie" in many blonde jokes. Jokes about American ignorance and Quebecois arrogance are popular as well.
QUEBEC, CANADA	Outside of major urban centers, the population is mostly white. You probably don't consider yourself racist but you may be ignorant of other cultures. Multiculturalism is a big city thing. The Natives are regarded with animosity and perceived as lower-class citizens-- smugglers and drunks with undeserved perks from the government. And where in frozen hell is Nunavut?	The people that you most often hear jokes about are the Newfies. In a torn country, it's nice to see such unity in the choice of laughing stock.
LATIN AMERICA
BRAZIL	Between "black" and "white" there are many shades of race. Someone who is not very distinctively black looks white to you. You probably think you are white yourself, and it is only when you travel to the U.S. that you find out it is not necessarily so. You are very curious about foreigners. You enjoy having foreign visitors in Brazil and wish there were more. You like to talk to them, ask about their countries and especially about what they think of Brazil. You consider a foreign-born person who has lived in Brazil for a long time and speaks good Portuguese as a Brazilian. People from Portugal are neither Brazilian nor foreign, but something in-between; if they move to Brazil they instantly become Brazilian.	The nationality people most often make jokes about is the Portuguese.
COLOMBIA	You are proud to live in a country without races and without racism. Of course, despite the mainstream population, you have some black and indian minorities. You will usually call the mainstream population as "white", but you are aware that it is really mixed.	The nationalities people most often make jokes about are the Mexicans, or the Cubans, or the Gringos... well, they are actually other Colombians, mainly Pastusos, Costeños, Boyacos, Paisas and Cachacos.
MEXICO (URBAN)	Between Indians and whites are the mestizos or mixed-race people, who make up about 60% of Mexico's population.
URUGUAY	Society is about 90% whites, 5% mestizo and 5% black. Most Uruguayan's see themselves as not racist, but I'm not sure what the two minorities would say.	Uruguayans make "Polish jokes" about Gallegos (From Galicia, Spain).
EUROPE
AUSTRIA	You're probably distrustful of foreigners (Ausländer, a rather ugly word these days) especially those from Eastern European countries; more likely when your income is low. You're quite likely to have a distinctly non-German surname (such as Novak or Resnick), especially if you live in the Eastern parts of Austria.	The nationality people most often make jokes about are the Germans (the Swiss come second), although the favourite victims of ethnic jokes are usually people living in Burgenland, Austria's easternmost province.
FINLAND	You are not really a racist but unaccustomed to different races, maybe a little xenophobiac. And then, if you are a male, you might get aggressive if you see black-haired or dark-skinned foreigners in the company of Finnish women. You are always anxious to hear what foreigners think about your country. And, although you should know better, you are disappointed when they don't even know that Finland exists.	The nationality people most often make jokes about is the Swedes (they are effeminate sissies who have enjoyed the blessings of peace while we have done all the fighting for them). You are extremely annoyed when foreigners take famous Finns, cellular phones or saunas for "Swedish". (The Swedes, in return, think of us as primitive creatures who work hard, drink too much and fight with knives.)
FRANCE	You may be uneasy with the notion of race. The main difference between races is some physical characteristics : colour of skin, .... The rest is a question of culture, and everybody has a right to his own culture.	The nationality people most often make jokes about is the Belgians (with their famous chips).
BRITTANY, FRANCE	Race is not an issue. If a guy does integrate well in local society, it does not matter where it comes from. You are proud of having the only black mayor of France (in a small village). Racism is a criminal offense. You are a Celt. You don't exactly know what a Celt is but it has something to do with playing bagpipe. Welshmen, Irishmen, Cornishmen, Scotts, Asturians and Galicians are Celts, Frenchmen are not.	The nationality people most often make jokes about is the Belgians.
GERMANY	Between "black" and "white" there are no other races. Someone with one black and one white parent looks black to you. However, the main question is if someone is German or not. Everyone else is, depending on how politically correct you are, an Ausländer (foreigner) or an ausländischer Mitbürger (foreign fellow citizen). There's a hot political debate on the circumstances under which these people should be able to become German citizens.	Jokes about dumb people are usually about people from other parts of Germany-- the most common targets being Eastern Frisians, followed by Bavarians.
GREECE		You used to hear a lot of jokes about the Turks, but now it's more likely to be Albanians.
ITALY	People may be Black, Yellow, "Marocchini" (from Maghreb), Albanian, Slavic, Rom (Gypsy). A child with one black and one white parent would probably look black to you, but you never really saw one. Then there are various flavors of white European and Extra-EU foreigners (German, American, Swiss) and various flavors of Italians (basically, North, Center and South).	You make jokes about the Carabinieri (one of the Police forces, the military one). These jokes are virtually identical to English jokes on the Irish or French jokes on the Belgians.
NETHERLANDS	Race is a complicated issue. Where people come from is about as important as their skin color. You consider people with Indonesian ancestors Dutch.	The nationality people most often make jokes about is the Belgians. Even the most politically correct can make jokes or disparaging remarks about Germans and get away with it.
POLAND	Between "black" and "white" there are no other races. Someone with one black and one white parent looks white to you. There are some people with brown skin who have no African ancestors.	The nationality people most often make jokes about is the Russians. You know that Americans tell jokes about the Poles, and this is unfair, since you just love America and Americans.
SWEDEN	Besides "black" and "white" there is "yellow". Someone with one black and one white parent might look black, but anyone who speaks Swedish without an accent is culturally Swedish enough and just superficially exotic.	The nationality people most often make jokes about is the Norwegians. They have oceans of low-sulphur petroleum on the continental shelf, which makes them less of a joke these days.
ENGLAND, UK		The nationality people most often make jokes about is the Irish (and occasionally the Scottish, on account of their meanness or national dress).
YORKSHIRE, UK	If you are older, especially, you are quite likely to be racist. However, deep down the only real distinction is 'Yorkshire' and 'Not Yorkshire'. Your greatest contempt is reserved for the people of Lancashire (why spoil a perfectly good 400-year feud?), followed by 'Southerners' (both of whom you think of as the ancient, tribal enemy), followed by the rest of the world.	The nationality people most often make jokes about is the Irish (and occasionally the Scottish, on account of their meanness or national dress).
SCOTLAND, UK	Most people are white, although they can also be yellow, brown or black. It doesn't really matter most of the time anyway, since you're familiar with people of Asian extraction from your local newsagent or corner shop.	The nationality people most often make jokes about is the English. You probably don't make jokes about the Irish - only the English do that.
AUSTRALIA AND NEW ZEALAND
AUSTRALIA	Multiculturalism is a wonderful thing-- at least, when it comes to restaurants. You may be less comfortable with the idea if you live in regional areas like Ipswich-- why are all those foreigners getting the jobs while you're still unemployed?	The nationality people joke most about is the Kiwis (New Zealanders), particularly their fush-and-chups accents and their sheep.
NEW ZEALAND	You might be concerned that many companies are owned by foreigners, but you can't see things changing.	The nationality people most often makes jokes about is the Australians.
ASIA
INDIA	Instead of "black" and "white" there are thousands of castes forming an elaborate system which governs the social order.	The ethnicity people most often make jokes about are the Sikhs (colloquially referred to as Sardars).
CHINA	You think of all the races in China as a big family, or that's what you've been told (and you accept everything claimed by teachers and "experts").
JAPAN	You usually don't think in terms of race. That's because everyone on this planet is either a Japanese or a gaijin (foreigner (or gaikokujin , to use a more politically correct term)). Period. Lots of Koreans live in Japan, and you'd never be able to tell a Korean apart on the basis of facial features alone. You might even have a Korean friend or two. You feel sorry about the discrimination they often experience. There have also been a lot of illegal Chinese immigrants recently, and some of them are criminals with links to the Chinese underworld.	People don't usually make jokes about specific nationalities. It used to be Koreans and Chinese, but now most people have grown too sensitive for that.
AFRICA AND THE MIDDLE EAST
NIGERIA	Between black and white, there are no races. Chinese, Indians, and even Malaysians are white. Someone with a one black parent and one white parent is white.	The nationality most people make jokes about are Nigerians. Nigerians and people who have lived in Nigeria for a long period of time have learned to laugh at the situation there. If you took it too seriously you would probably die of depression or stress.
SOUTH AFRICA	If you're white you're either "English" (i.e. English-speaking), "Afrikaans" (Afrikaans-speaking), Portuguese, Lebanese, Greek, British, or a mixture of all of the above. If you're black you are either Zulu, Sotho, Tswana, Venda, Pedi or Xhosa. If you're Coloured you are probably Afrikaans speaking and have black, white, San or Khoi people in your ancestry. If you're Indian your ancestors came from India. You might know an Indian language but you probably speak English most of the time. If you're Chinese you have a hard time filling in forms for "race" and always have to tick "other". You fully understand why South Africa is called the "rainbow nation", and you love this concept. You love it so much that you paint your face like the South African flag at international cricket matches. You may or may not be a racist, but, if you are, you don't tell anybody. Whether you are or aren't makes no difference in the real world anyway, because you'll be accused of being one no matter what you do. You are always anxious to hear what foreigners think of your country, and you pray that tourists will come back, because your country needs the economic boost.	The nationality most people make jokes about is the Afrikaner, or rather the stereotypical Afrikaner known as "Van Der Merwe". Even Afrikaans people tell Van Der Merwe jokes.
ISRAEL	With a very small black population of Ethiopian Jews, and a larger population (50% of the country) of Middle Eastern Jews, "race" seems to be a less important concept than culture. The real divide is between those citizens of Jewish heritage and those who are Arab (either Muslim or Christian). If you are Jewish, you may not consider Druze or Bedouins to be "Arab".	The nationalities people most often make jokes about are Polish Jewish mothers, Moroccan Jews, Russian Jews, and Arabs.
TURKEY	You think that everyone in your country is of the same race.	The jokes you make are often about the Northerners (the people living in the Black Sea region). Of course, you are not offending them since everyone knows that it is the Northerners themselves who make up these jokes.
SUBCULTURES
FIRST GENERATION IMMIGRANT	You usually don't think in terms of race. The host country natives will do that for you (don't be surprised to hear yourself called a 'f*****g immigrant' by the local population). If you come from another developed country and are of caucasian or asian origin then you'll probably be ok. You should emphasize that we're all of common stock and should stick together. If you are black or naturally tanned then be prepared, if not for the worst, then for a little bit of rejection or harassment. This is the very reason why ghettos / schtetls get created; there's safety in numbers and they offer a space to lick one's wounds. If you're female and single, you'll soon meet a local male and have an easier time of integrating than your male counterpart. Also, since you are far less numerous, you are much less threatening to the locals. And the question of money is not as pressing since your new 'friend' will invite you.	In the beginning you don't know which nationalities the citizens of the magnet country poke fun at. And anyway, you aren't programmed to find them funny. You would have to extrapolate by translating the target buffoon to your own cultural whippingboy.

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