One of the most disturbing roadside billboards I have ever seen was for a funeral home. It said something to the effect "We've been serving the finest families for the past 100 years...! Just like yours!" Excuse me, doesn't this sound just a bit too optimistic about death? Besides, you don't drive down the road and say, "Oooh! Honey, let's stop by the funeral home and check in!"
This is real, and that makes it even worse. A man robbed a bank (he wasn't a very good bank robber). A capsule that explodes and releases red dye was attached to some of the money. So, while he's running away, the capsule explodes and red dye gets all over him and the money. He's running away with the money, when he's robbed, after being robbed, he went to the police to report that "his" money was stolen from him. Of course, the red dye was a little incriminating (I use the word "little" loosely). The man was, of course, arrested.
"I'm always losing my house key. So, I had my address engraved on it so that when I lose it people can bring it to me." (Someone can even burglarize your home if they want to!) BTW, I made this one up.
"The key to my P.O. box is really small. So, I'm always misplacing it. I've already lost it once, but luckily someone saw me drop it and gave it back. Without the key, there's no way for me to get into my P.O. box. I've finally wised up and got a keychain and wrote my mailing address on it. If I lose my key again, whoever finds it can mail it to me." (How will you get in your mailbox?) Well, I made this one up too!
Back during the Cold War, there was a horse race which a Russian and an American horse competed in. After the race, Russian newspapers claimed that the Russian horse won second place, and the American horse was second to last. The American media claimed that their horse had won first place, and the Russian horse was dead last. Both were telling the truth... Two horses competed in the race, the Russian one and the American one. The American horse had won the race, and the Russian horse came in second!
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