• WORLD PLUNGED INTO ETERNAL DARKNESS!
• Priests Recover in Temple Infirmary
• Construction Begins on Ski-hump-jump
• 2003 TOSA Promotions List Revealed!

• Invasion of Sentient Cutlery!? What next!?
• Are you Sirius!? High Council Goes Mad - Shrinemaster to challenge decree.
• Shower-Shock Caffeinated Soap!
• NotS Hack Arrested In Shower Scandal...
• More Stories On Page 2

It has been decreed that due to the ensuing panic in the surrounding lands, that TOSA will house those in need of refuge and will send out help and resources to farms and homesteads in need of help. As I write we are seeking a solution to the terrible dark magic which has been thrown upon us, though we admit as yet we have no translation of the words spoken by the despicable Wicca Novice.

'The Wicca Novice - former student of Ceridwen ach Eryi and now poisoned by ancient evil magick.'

The former Paladin of Passion and now newly promoted Warrior of Indomitable Spirit, Ceridwen ach Eryi, has revealed to me that the Wicca Novice has been taken over or corrupted by an unspeakable ancient evil, perhaps the very same that attacked our beloved temple last June 2002. We managed to fight off that demon back then, but now it is not just TOSA that is affected.

We pride ourselves on being a shining beacon and now we must literally be THAT. I will be holding an emergency meeting of the TOSA Priesthood as soon as I have finished this message. I will also be asking the HTOTW Militia to aid us in this time of need. I fear that I must withdraw all resources from TOPS and the House of Lurve and maintain the security of TOSA, due to it being the resting place of the TOSA Sutra. Above all, this book cannot fall into dark hands. However, I have sent Lord Sirius to TOPS to oversee the protection of the copy of the Sutra that resides there.

As I speak, we are trying to lure the beast to a location in the temple on the 6th Floor in the hope of trapping it, as we seem unable to stop it. The ancient evil has somehow teleported the Wicca Novice's body and a special book which we believe to be the key to the creature's demise and the return of light to the world to an unknown location. We have no way of knowing if we will succeed or not.

Thankyou,
The Shrinemaster
High Priest of TOSA and Ruling Buddha of the High Council of the Sutra.

A rescue attempt was set-up by the High Priest and fellow priesthood members, with the Paladin of Passion also heavily involved, a lady named Ceridwen ach Eryi. Ms. Eryi who writes for this publication is known to have somewhat 'unusual' abilities, and it is rumoured that she is somehow responsible for the sudden influx of wintery conditions that abound the temple and surrounding lands right now. Indeed, many media sources have reported severe snowstorms across major cities and locales of late.

'Ceridwen ach Eryi, weather-elf'

Apparently, the life of the Cleric Tymbaa was saved by the sudden freezing of the Obsidia Waterfall which gave him an escape route to the ground below, which was also taken by the Shrinemaster. Hidden Erotic Talents is thought to have been severely hurt when the ice structure collapsed in his general direction. Tymbaa and the High Priest are said to have frozen extremities... nasty. All three have been taken to the TOSA Temple infirmary.

A source for the TOSA Temple stated that the three priests were recovering well but that they were extremely delusional, on saline drips of watered-down buzz juice as recommended by the doctor in charge, a Dr. Bliykk.

Dr. Bliykk is an unusual man as he was once on the TOSAn temple 'wanted' list as a blasphemer working for the Getonefree Corporation. However, since the banishment of the Getonefree's he has found work in the temple laboratory and has recently taken on full control. This is due mainly to the mysterious disappearance of Professor Hamstein, as reported on NotS last year.

Dr. Bliykk - Hamstein's replacement

Indeed, the loss of Hamstein is notable for the fact that it does not seem to have concerned many TOSAns or for that matter, the HTOTW Militia. Does the disappearance not merit investigation at the very least? We at NotS find it odd that this sad event has not raised even an eyebrow amongst the followers of the Sutra, especially given the 'patchy' past of the man now in charge of the temple laboratory and the stock of buzz juice? Would one even go as far as to suggest that it might be rather suspicious that this man was now in charge of the buzz juice which was being fed into the three priests via the infirmary department of the temple?

- Simon Clops.

The huge structure is being built out near the Elysium Alps and not far from the now frozen Mithril Lake. Most of the events announced on NotS last month are taking place in the localities near the temple, stretching as far as the 'Edge' and the Obsidia Falls, and to the banks of the River Taliesin. The cross-country event will take place starting at the temple, and following a route which will take entrants through the Woods of Altairis and back to the temple via the assault course.

'A view of the Elysium Alps before the Winter set in last December.'

It is expected that entry forms for competitors will appear shortly at the TOSA temple upon the recovery of the priests currently in the infirmary following the unfortunate ice-accident.

Entry to the games is not restricted to temple members and all-comers are encouraged and invited to compete. It is not yet known whether members of StoneFleet will take part, due to their constant need for vigilance from sources of a bovine nature.

The ski-hump ski-jump meanwhile is expected to have been completed before the games begin in January. We announced on NotS last month that the opening ceremony would be conducted by the Glamrocker of TOSA himself, the King of the Rumbling Spires - Glamgasm. We can also reveal this month that to coincide with this new event, the Sutra High Council will reveal the design of the new official temple togas to be worn by all followers of the Sutra faith [as mentioned in a previous NotS issue].

Several other notable sports-erections are planned for the games and building will commence on these in the near future we are assured, by the Burly Working Company.

As you no doubt know, all details of the Winter Games will be relayed to you here on NotS before the opening ceremony, and reports here on the progress of the games at the closing ceremony. Up to date details will be found at the time on the WoSmania mini-site of the WoS Homepage.

- Bob, the Beneficent

Promotions will still take place throughout the year at times deemed appropriate by the Shrinemaster, and statues will be commissioned as and where necessary for deeds and accomplishments.

This years inaugural promotion winners are listed opposite. These people have contributed to temple life over a prolonged period, or spread the word of TOSA to a wider audience, or made a great impact in a short space of time.

Some promotions are so deserved, or appropriate for that individual as to skip one or more levels of priestly attainment. This decision is the High Council's and taken in conjunction with the Shrinemaster and is irreversible.

1st Annual New Years Promotions:

Ceridwen ach Eryi

Promoted from Paladin of Passion to the rank of Warrior. The temple is now entrusted to her at a moments notice, and she will lead our faithful force into holy battle with belief and passion. She will be known as the Warrior of Indomitable Spirit.

Hidden Erotic Talents

Promoted to the rank of Cardinal from those of the Bishop. He has shown a consistent devotion to the temple way of life. He is a person whose very nature reflects the commandments of the Holy TOSA Sutra. He will be known as the Cardinal of Carnality, a post once held by Tymbaa and also by Pococurante Ganymede.

Shylly Waitting

Hard to find yet never far away, the timid and curious one has always kept one eye on proceedings at the temple and never let the garden go to ruin. She is promoted to the rank of Apothecary. She has no need for the physical use of force and focuses on the spiritual need for healing. She tends to all those with worries and heals the flock. She will be known as the Apothecary of Serene Sensuality.

Mistress Handcuffs

Promoted to the rank of Guardian. She has shown courage and devotion during times of blasphemy against our temple, and now continues her studies as a protector of our faith. She will be known as the Guardian of Faithful Bondage.

Mistress of Trash

Promoted from the rank of Guardian to the rank of Paladin. She may now follow just 8 commandments, ignoring the rule about never questionning the High Priest twice. She will be known as the Paladin of Pain and Pleasure.

Fervent Fiery Fantasy

Promoted from the rank of disciple to the rank of Student, to be tutored in the ways of the Sutra by Hidden Erotic Talents. She gains her own room in the temple through her studies and is put under the guidance of this member of the priesthood.

Bricriu Bittertongue

Promoted to the rank of disciple and to be given the name of "Tail of Endless Pleasure". He now begins his journey in following the commandments to attain true sensual awareness and enlightenment.

Tymbaa

Promoted from the rank of Cleric to the rank of Sage. Of all the disciples of TOSA, the past year has seen Tymbaa develop most fully in his path towards true enlightenment. He is now granted free access to the TOSA Sutra and all it's hidden writings and prophecies. He gains all the prowess of the levels of Paladin, Warrior, Apothecary and Visionary. He is to be known as the Sage of Psionic Seduction.

Garn Tigerclaw / PET

Promoted to the rank of Archdeacon. He has proven himself by successfully introducing new people to our temple and successfully making them into disciples like he once was. Garn is also given the honourary title of "Honourary Warrior" and is to take studies in military protection of our temple from the new Warrior of Indomitable Spirit, Ceridwen ach Eryi. He is to be known as the Archdeacon of Animal Cravings.

Avarri / Curiosity of Celestial Charm

Having quietly studied in the temple for the past few months, the student of the Shrinemaster has shown true devotion to the temple in recent days leaping to the defense of the followers of the Sutra against the black-tendrilled beast known as the 'ancient evil'. We recognise this fact and promote Avarri from the rank of student to Teacher, you can be taught no more except through your studies of the Sutra and those around you. You must seek out a student yourself guiding them in the ways of sensuality.

Sniffles the Spudmeister

Promoted from the rank of disciple to the rank of Monk. He is given responsibility for the jacuzzi in the temple and the care and attention it needs will be provided by him, and interesting contents placed in at times during the month so as to enhance the occupants sensual experiences. He is to be known as the Cosmic Monk of Fractolinear Exploration.

Vidoqc

Promoted from the rank of disciple to the rank of student under the tutorship of Shylly Waitting. He is granted his own room in the temple and will continue his studies under her guidance. He will be continued to be known by his disciple name.

King of the Rumbling Spires

Promoted from the rank of priest to the rank of deacon. His world tour has helped to increase his knowledge of the wider world outside the temple, and he will now apply this in his studies. He will be known as the Deacon of Delightful Ditties.

In the event that you have been omitted from this list and you feel that your actions at the temple have merited promotion you can of course put your case at the OOC Group for WoS / HTOTW Members.

- Delicious Fuschia

'HET vs SIRIUS for TOPS ROLE'

The controversy is caused by the fact that HET was placed in charge of TOPS following the resignation of Father Inwego Jones from the role. Then recently, Sirius Temptation returned to TOSA to announce the involvement of the TOKI temple in the soon to take place Winter Games event.

The TOKI temple was destroyed several months ago in an attack by the Getonefree Corporation, who since then are thought to have been lost at sea. However, Sirius was thought to be missing in the destruction of the TOKI temple and has now resurfaced... could the Getonefree's also be alive somewhere? There is one more theory that the High Council have created a new clone of Sirius from their huge database of TOSAn priests DNA.

Editorial Comment : "This decision may not turn out to be as controversial as at first seems due to recent events at the temple, watch this space for any decisions made by the new head of the High Council next month.

- Black Widow

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