Sooo, after a looooong hiatus, i have updated the site a bit.Check out some new pictures from our last few shows. Thank you forever and a million to all the bands we played along side and everyone who came out. Thanks be as well to Alicia for taking such beautiful pictures of us beautiful men. We are looking to go into the writing process for a while so by the time we start playing shows again, you can expect some new chart toppers. Recording to FINALLY come along as well, and possibly some merch so we can be whores and not just sluts. Stay tuned for that, and keep it real. Check back soon for more. Keep it real.~Lando~
"keep it real." -Dave
thanks to those who came to the ball. Im too lazy to type anything more than, come to this shit right here...
Dear __________,
In response to "Do someething!! so boring my god!":
I am making an update, just for you _______. Well, _______, we wanted to thank everyone who came out the other night to Myra's to see us and our pals rock the hell out of a bookstore. You read that right, a bookstore was rocked. And to all 9 of you who came out to Meg Something's party and watched us and The Shoebombers ass our way through sets on Johny's PA. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention this to you _______, but we should be recording soon. That's correct people, we have reached a connection. As soon as Johny get's back to Spokane, Travis finishes moving and we spawn another Billbaord chart topper, it's into some dudes basement we go! I'll put up some pics from Myra's show in a few, and another thanks will go out to Alicia for her work.
This has been a Brand-C production.
~Lando~
"The bee bit my bottom, now my bottom's big!"-Homer
COP-"Son, where did you get that alcohol?"
Noah-"None of your god damn business."
(OCT 30, 2004)
We gots a "show", check it...By clicking here, for shows.....sorry i dont have more....well, i do, but I'm tired, so eat me.~Lando~
How's everyone doing tonight? We's gots news for yas! Everyone should creep on over toThe Lyrics Section and give 3 ALL NEW songs a bit of your time. We would most appreciate it along with any thoughts that you could give us on them. As for other news, our good friends The Shoebombers have been signed by Blackhouse records. They deserve it, so send them your congrats on a job well done and then slap them for me for making us look like a bunch of chumps. Thats all for now. Oh, and there is STUNNING news in a day or two. Confirmation is needed though. check back...
"We serial killers are your sons, we are your husbands, we are everywhere. And there will be more of your children dead tomorrow"-Ted Bundy
Real quick update to you all. Over the last, oh lets say, 6 or 7 months, the Gimps Message Board has been used for primarily everything BUT commentary, critisizm, suggestion, endless devotion, passionate hatred, and whatever other feelings you all do or do not feel toward the band itself. This is not a complaint, as I very much realize that we have given you little to nothing to work with, besides neurotic nitpicking from a few of you "nameless" cowards out there. So, as in suggestion from my dear cousin BrandX, we are currently seeking a forum to work with our site rather than the current guestbook format we are using, so to make messaging easier and more user friendly. This will also make all your complaints easier to direct in cases of having problems with specific band members, lyrics, choices, pictures, friends, family and your choice of soup or salad. Stay tuned for that, you are all going to love it, trust me. More news in a few days....and we are out...---~~--- beeeeeeeeeeeeeee.......~Lando~
Insert clever quote here:______________________*quoting department*
Just a few real quick words. There are ALL NEW Lyrics to be found in the lyrics section. So check out the lyrics section as soon as you can, so that you or one of your coward friends can go on our message board and bitch about how they are boring/not done right/no longer political/cliche/bland/blah blah blah, since that seems to be the trend these days. What else have we got for you...oh right, we are nearing the one year mark on this site as of Halloween, which rocks cause its Halloween and anyone who thinks it's a kiddie holiday should kill themselves. Thats about it for now, changes are coming 2 fast, 2 furious within the next few days so watch out. And thats the end of our show! ~Lando~
"Your mom goes to college..." -Kip (Napolean Dynamite)
Yeah, the dust is back, I know. You may have noticed a couple of changes to the site. Well, there will be more, trust me. Chances are, I'll just be gutting this site and starting it over from pretty much the bones, so hold on tight for that. Not much to tell you now, but there will be....mark my words, there will be. Now, I will leave you all with a quote that is just so damn good that it will appear here and somewhere else on the site *fun game:find it!* Buh-Bye Kids!~Lando~
"Death is the most beautiful adventure in life."
(Charles Frohman)
Wow! Brush the dust off of this fucker, we are back! well...kinda. Practice's have once again commenced and slowly things are getting along, so we will try and let all you gimpers out there revive those still beating hearts for us once again. Due to events in the future, The Gimps will crawl back into their hole in a month or so, and will most likely stay there for some time. Chris is going away and Mr. Labish will be in chest surgery getting his ribs broken, which will leave him in the hospital for a week and bed riden for another month afterward, then it's on to rehab! Thats pretty much all for now, but i swears it, there will be more in the next 2 or 3 days gall darn it! Oh yeah, I also started talking in an old timey fashion...deal with it. ~Lando~
"I'M DOIN' 20 SHOTS BY MIDNIGHT! JUST YOU FUCKIN' WATCH ME!" -Frank ( 11:55 PM-17 shots)
(12:01)-"21!"
Everybody died and this site is boring.
Here's a quickie for you addicts out there. Things are rolling, Travis is coming along, songs are coming, Asscor is defined now that my lazy ass posted it, Jesus has not returned, Some guy named Rick could record a demo with us soon, we found a drum pedal at Value Village for $4 that beats the hell out of the crap Travis uses now, Conflict found a home in the guestbook, Kimmish got arrested, Greggo is still in Utah, friends are missing, and all sorts of weak shit....so to you and yours, have a day.
"Let's roll like fat kids." -Ryan White (Scatterbox)
Everyone splendid? splendid. Asscor Revolution #1 went well, even though Jeff spelled Asscor wrong, with an E on the end, which is a totally different genre...but that's okay. If you were there, we can agree that none of us knew what was going on with all the strawberry syrup, skateboards, and matress diving that was taking place. One complaint i had was that alot of people forgot it was a show and there are bands playing at shows like 85% of the time. That number is just off the top of my head, so it could be less... Anywho, check back at any of the Asscor bands' sites for the next Revolution, there will be more. This site should change a bit soon. Since graduation, i have a lot more free time, and you can only watch Simpsons episodes so many times....I'm totaly kidding, you can't watch too much Simpsons. No Fucking Way. Somewhere in between, i'll add some more pictures and what have you. Check out Coby Teeth Salute, for a new Salutee. Tell me what you think. Check in my brothers. Cue curtians....
Carson and Travis-"Chris, want to play drink the beer?"
Chris-"What is Drink th.."
C+T-(clank bottle)"DRINK THE BEER!"
Chris-"DUDE, WHAT THE...fuck it..." *furiously slurping at foaming bottle*
C+T-"DRINK THE BEER! DRINK THE BEER!"
Folks, here's what's new these days. we are "playing" a show on the 29th at this adress: Jeff Kimish's House (11806 N. Cheyenne Mead,WA). Now, I don't know who this kid is, but if he's wants to drag a bunch of dumbass asscor kids onto his property, my sympathies go out to him. It starts at around 5pm and cost is $1 donation or a can of food, or you can kick Johny Poops in the yarbles. 6 Bands are planned...
The Shoebombers
The Secks
Dancing Cadavers
The Gimps
Bleeding Eardrums
A Little Rock in Arkansas
There you have it. Show up if you dare. ~Lando~
Kids, there isnt much to tell you, except the transfer has begun. Travis, Nick, and Yours Truly, all had a practice, which was more so, a mess of noise. Travis is a bit rocky on the skins as of now, but with a little help from Dylan and TSB drummer, James, he should be on his way soon enough. TSB played at the detour about a week ago, and took second place at Shadle HS Battle of the Bands, so next time you see them, let them know they are failures and you couldn't be prouder. A new Asscor cantidate played alongside TSB, The Bleeding Eardrums. These guys are great. They show influence of Sex Pistols and early Sub-Humans, so if you get the chance, check them out. Turns out that GREGGO got arrested and sent to Utah for schooling, so if you see him.....well, i wouldnt count on that, so nevermind. Moderate changes to the site have come along. Check the Random pictures for, you guessed it, some more random pictures. I guess thats it kiddies, so until next time, "Big deal, death comes with the territory.....see you in Disneyland.".-Richard Ramirez (upon recieving 19 death sentances)~Lando
Carson-yeah, but the moral of that story is, jessica, im going to need that quote now. BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!! WHO WINS NOW!?!! THANKS FOR THE QUOTE!~Landos Revenge
COME ONE, COME ALL! A few bits of news for those of you who have not given up on us, so gather 'round, gather 'round...Thats it don't be shy...make room for The Shoe Bombers....Jessica, you're going to have to move over by me so that Greggo can get in here...no, I already told you Gaddy, this isn't going to be catered...Mallory, stop distracting Chris! Jesus Christ, I already told you two...speaking of which, Jesus, I saved you a spot by the bar. Did anyone tell The Secks they needed to be here, cause those rummies shouldn't be driving...okaaay....i think that's everyone. Okay, here it is....we got nothin'...Hey, where the hell are you all going? What did you just call me Brittany? Hey...HEY! Which one of you bastards swiped my car keys! I'll have better stuff soon! YOU SONS A BITCHES!!
"If cyber sabotage is truly terrorism on par with blowing up innocent people, then maybe our government is finally admiting that the definition of terrorism is not threatening somene else's life, but someone elses wealth"-Jello Biafra
Confused? Excellent. So you will notice some more changes around here in the next week or so, but for now, check out the Pictures page, where things are made easier so that you may navigate easier and whatnot. All the Bios have are now faster and stronger than before, so take a gander there too. Travis and his drums went on a vacation to Barbados so they could be close and return a happy couple. They should be back soon with some cute lil' drumlets. For this one, I will leave you all with this...
So there it is folks, Travis "Kid Tianamen" SEIMER, has stepped to the reigns and will beat the shit out of Asscor like you wouldn't believe, so everybody should welcome him Asscor style (whatever that means) next time you see his burly ass around. It could be some time until he is ready for show, but keep your pants on. The finale show is being pushed around a bit, but it's gonna happen. By God, it's gonna happen. In other news....awww,christ, there is no more news, we are lazy fucks, but you knew that...
on behalf of The Gimps:
Now that the smoke has cleared, a few noble souls have stepped forward and heeded the call my brothers. I am happy to announce that "The" show is in the making and onboard for possible acts as of now are; The Shoebombers, The Secks, The Duckets, The Gimps (subject to change, no specific order). IF ANYONE HAS INPUT ON THIS SHINDIG, LET US KNOW AS SOON AS YOU CAN! We want to set it up for late March or maybe early April, so keep checking back. I'm a lazy lazy bratchnie, so big revisions to this place is going to be a while, but i'll get free time someday, so to all of you who keep bothering me about it, SETTLE DOWN! They are on their way. Everyone should check out www.spokanebands.com, there are a whole mess of cool shows coming up featuring our good friends The Shoebombers, The Creeps, Scatterbox, and The Secks . If they are not posted for showdates, look at their respective sites. Thank you all for paying attention. You may return to your seats. ~Lando~
"Jesus called today".
And oh my brothers, the day hath come. Our own Mickey Poodles has chosen to bow out of The Gimps and Asscor, leaving your humble narrorator and his droogs C.I.Eh and Johny Poops without an Asscor HQ. We shall miss you Dylan. Your legacy will live on through Asscor, and your beats will echo in the halls of those after us, leaving them deaf to the devine melody. Everyone should sign the guestbook and demand that Dylan do us all the service of playing a final show with our Asscor brethren, The Shoebombers, among others, in our hometown of Cheney. Anyone that reads this and wants to play or perform or whatever, should really help us out, turn this thing into a freakin' riot, so that you all may be left with fond memories while the Gimps go into a deep coma. Do not fret, for a hero has risen among us and may fill the empty throne that sits among us. His(?) identity shall remain a mystery until deemed appropriate, for security reasons. Check back frequently, many changes should go down over the next few weeks. I was cured allright... ~Lando~
"I'M GONNA KILL YOUR FAMILY REF!"
Fuck you Nick, fuck you indeed. Right, right, right, the show went well and we would like to thank all of you bratchnies who decided to drag ass to Cheney and sample the scene from our homefront. The Blacklist made themselves known in a big way so expect to see them on a flyer or two in the near future, and as always The Shoebombers and The Agitators made us look like assholes, but hey, thats what we are so its no problem. Everyone should really support The Study Hall, that place is great and the manager is a badass. Anyone interested in setting up a show or playing a show themselves should do so there, the place is great and the people are too! Pics from the show should be up as soon as i can find a few minutes away from my precious Manhunt (damn that game is cool), plus i want to revamp the whole pics page so you all can soon just go to what sort of pics you want to see (i.e. Live, practice, random, pals, etc), so look out for that. Lets see...what else....uhhh...Hey Chris..(C.I.eh)-yeah? (me)-Jesus back yet?(C.I.eh)-Naw man, still dead. (me)-Drag (C.I.eh)-Dude, its my turn for Manhunt, lets have the paddle.(me)-Paddles havn't been made since Nintendo man (C.I.eh)fuck you dude.
"Chewbacca is an 8 foot tall Wookie from the planet Kishik, but he lives on Endor with a bunch of 2 foot tall Ewoks. That does not make sense!"
Haha! Poops has taken the riegns from Lando as Sitemaster! Yeehaw! Not really, but yeah, we have a show coming up. It's on Saturday February 7th at, The Study Hall, in Cheney. It's a kickin' little coffee shop over in the same building as that mexican restaurant.(no one has a clue what I'm talking about). But yeah, The Agitators are playing and hopefully some of you other fuckers decide to too. Let us know if you want to play, on the guestbook. Oh, and this is confidential, but I'll tell you anyway. We should be recording our full length in a few weeks. That's all i can tell you though. I'm now fearing for my life...I'll shutup now~Da Poops~
This quote's for you Christoph-
Not alot on the Gimps home front. A couple new features to the site, Random pictures of local bands and local folks, cause they deserve recognition. All you Bratchnies should send us your input on the site, yay or nay. Suggestions welcome as well. ATTENTION WORLD! FREDDY VS. JASON IS NOW AVAILABLE ON DVD AND VHS, AS WELL AS RENTAL AT YOU LOCAL VIDEO STORE, so pick up your copy today!......I'm such a tool.~Lando~
anonymous-"haha look at how italian stefano is. What the hell is he saying"?
Alas, tis a new year folks. Hope you all have a good one. More songs have been written in the last practices, and alot more pictures have been added, and many more will as well. Lots of new additions to the site, a new feature; The Coby Teeth Salute, as well as a NEW HIDDEN CHARACTER! For those of you who found The Kid, go to him and you will find your way. Hopefully in the near future, a show or two will pop up, a colaboration with other bands such as The Secks and Shoebombers would make for a mighty fine night, if I do say so myself. Until next we me, this has been.....~Lando~
P.S.-fuck you.
Reporter-"Could the Motaba Virus kill the Grimace?"
Yeah, we're both confused by that date, so Happy December 25th to everyone! Nick returned from Montana unscathed, but the terror alert stays as it is because we are at high risk of narrow-minded dipshit terrorism I.E.-The South. Practices are a-happenin', and things be gettin done. Check out Links for a whole mess of new rockin' sites. Oh, and if you didn't find the secret character, you should be ashamed of yourself. Kids, say hello to Travis "Kid Tienamen" SEIMER (click cause your pathetic).God Bless you Travis. God Bless you indeed. Hell is just a stones throw away from where your goin' pal ~Lando~
"...So the entire plane is masturbating..."-Brodie (Mallrats)
And so it came to pass. The whole "feeding the homeless" thing happened, and we were surprised to find the homeless well fed, considering the way Spokane is practically criminalizing them, you would think they were all a Black Plague risk or something. It was a learning experience methinks. IN BAND NEWS:New song, its a real doozie. Nicks in Montana with his wife for a week or so, so the bands on "Orange Alert" until further notice.A few new pictures, like you even care, and a secret character has been added to the GIMPS, see if you can unlock him. It would make us HAPPY AS CLAMS.~Lando~
"I won't label myself, A slave of the USA, If your sick of fighting a revolt with me. You don't understand, we're a firebrand, come stand free with me."-The Shoebombers (Firebrand)
After much thought and being pissed about charities and foundations fucking over the people they are there to help. I've decided that a few of "the 11" or anyone else willing to help, should get a bunch of soup, a gas stove, 2 huge pots, etc. and set up a place for the homeless to get a free bite to eat on 3rd and division. Anyone care to help?-C.I.eh.
Hello creeps! Tis' a dawn of a new era, for the creative genious of Lando and C.I.eh have combined into a glorious mess, to bring you this very site. Yes, from now on expect to see changes, updates, and a constant power struggle between us for control, cause we're, you know, cool like that. Nothing ground-breaking as of now, but check back in over the next few days. Something is BOUND to happen...~Lando~
"My gran' daddy used to say; When Hell is full, the dead will walk the earth." -Some Guy (Dawn of the Dead)
Asscor has made its presence known by both ourselves and The Shoebombers. If you found yourself confused or displeased with Asscor, doth not fret, for it is a vastly evolving sound and gets better with age like a fine wine.... though it still sits like cheap Vodka. Also that PATCH lady was damn amazing. Simply put, she slayed us all. Tracey (Stacey) and the Plastics has got to be the strangest, yet most interesting thing i have ever seen at a show. For those of you who were there, you know just what I am talking about. Thanks tons to those who never showed up, and sorry more to those did. just kidding.~Lando~
"Loise, you know its illigal for women to drive. hahahaha, women drivin', thats so adorable."-Peter Griffin (Family Guy)
"I wish God were alive to see this."-Homer Simpson (if i have to name the origin ill slap you dead)
"A rich mans heart is a ghetto. An Anarchists heart is a kingdom"-Anonymous
"I didn't expect them to know my name. Surrounding me like a black steel frame. Saw the World go up in flames, I just smiled and stood there watching."-Agent Orange (Too Young To Die)
"Shop smart....Shop S-Mart....YOU GOT THAT!?"-Ash (Army of Darkness)
Jessica- nope sorry, no can do, not gonna happen.
Carson-.....you win i guess.
Jessica- yeah, thats how things usually go.
April 18, 2004 11:03:52
APRIL FOOLS! It's March 29th...
Goodnight.
March 25, 2004, 1700 hours
WELCOME TO HELL KID!
Kid-"YEAH! CHENEY BRINGS IT....to...to the table?"
SARS-"dude, it's ~Cheney brings the Sex~"
Kid-"oh, yeah, that too"
"The" day is coming...
"HE DID"!?
(that's for you Santa)
The day Asscor came to a screaming halt....
-as shouted by Dylan at a Spokane Chiefs hockey game when we were 10
St. Valentines Day Massacre
~Da SARS
~The Kid-"Dude, Chewbacca doesn't live there, he's just visiting with Han Solo, Damn it!"
(as heard in a dumb ass arguement between myself, my son Adam, The Kid, and C.I.eh)
JaNuArY, z6 z0o4
"Apparently, the purple-clad gender bending rock star Prince, is not really a prince at all. Just some guy from Minnesota. What a liar!"~The Kids in the Hall
Damn Canadians.
4002 51, yraunaJ
Stefano-"what is not clear of the thing Im saying? my english is not that good but I think that everything is possible to understand"
January 2......2004? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?
Chief Of Police-"Nothing can kill the Grimace."
(Clerks:Animated Series-Episode 3)
Countdown to Baby Jesus:2 days
DECEMBER a~la 11, 2003
NOVEMBER 30th
NOVEMBER 24(like the show!), 2003
PS-Its been a month since we've seen it, but the new "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" was the biggest fuckin' disappointment of my life, and believe you me, i've got SOME disappointments. I'll get off my soapbox now...~Lando's Revenge~
November..... (i forget)th, 2003
NOVEMBER EIGHTH, TWO-THOUSAND-THREE
NOVEMBER 6-NOVEMBER 2= NOVEMBER 4 2003
NOVEMBER 2 1994
OCTOBER 31 the year of YOUR lord, 2003