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September 30, 2002
Feeling a bit embarrassed for neglecting my stewardship role, I made the rounds at the end of September to present the following team awards for the 2000 season. The 2000 Bomber Rookie of the Year Award was presented to Leslie Safley, the better half of the ILM Safley sibling duo, who played through injuries two seasons ago to get the bombers into the LFL Tournament Championship game against the Maulers. She currently plays with the arch-rival, Pants. Give her a big hello when you see her on campus. Neil Lim Sang rocketed into the limelight in 2000 by raising his average over one hundred points, garnering the Bombers Most Improved Player Trophy. He was an integral part of the 2000 drive to the Championship Round and continues to inspire awe from opposing batsmen. Todd Krish and Marc Diaz share the Most Valuable Player honors in 2000 for their amazing seasons: Diaz hit .647 and Krish hit .644, and between them, drove in or scored 82 of our 273 total runs. On defense, both were instrumental in holding opposing lineups to a season average of six runs per game. A long overdue congratulations is in order. Here's another Bomber Award for the guy that defines power in
the LFL. Eric added three homers and 33 runs batted in for
2000. Since he's won three Bombers Awards in four years, we're considering
renaming the award in his name: The Eric Schroeder Bomber Award.
2000 Press Releases April 13, 2000: Bombers Spank Pants in Pre-Season Opener, 11 - 7 April 20, 2000: Bombers Wear Out Pants, 6 - 5, Win Pre-Season Finale April 24, 2000: David La Tour Traded To Hong Kong Cavaliers June 5, 2000: Bombers Rip Pants, 28 - 9 June 6, 2000: Bombers Best Sox, 18 - 10 June 14, 2000: Bombers Whitewash Sox, 18 - 8 June 22, 2000: Bombers Destroy Roswell, 31 - 17 June 30, 2000: Bomber Beat Swingers, 11 - 7 July 6, 2000: Fighting Fish KO Bombers, 9 - 7 July 13, 2000: Bombers Tip Cavaliers, 21 - 4 July 20, 2000: Bombers Drop Pants, 13 - 9 July 26, 2000: Maulers Edge Bombers, 7 - 3 August 8, 2000: Bombers Rout Zeroes, 16 - 5 August 21, 2000: Bombers Dump Roswell, 27 - 8 August 23, 2000: Swingers Topple Bombers, 14 - 3 August 30, 2000: Cavaliers Shock Bombers, 10 - 9
September 9, 2000: Bombers Dump Swingers, 15 - 10 September 9, 2000: Maulers Win Title, 9 - 3 End of Season: 2000 Yearbook Signing
AP Wire San Rafael
1B Todd Krish returned to his 1998 form and led all batters with an impressive 3-for-3, 2 RBI performance and helped propel the BOMBERS past the PANTS in the first pre-season game of 2000, 11-7, last Thursday at Mc Innis Park. Krish and fellow teammates CF Jesse Russell, LF Eric Schroeder, OF Scott Taylor and newcomer 3B Barry Safley conducted a personal hitting clinic, accounting for 11 of the BOMBERS 13 hits and collectively cashing in 8 of 11 RBIs. Russell and Schroeder continued their defensive mastery, stopping key PANTS rallies in the first, third and sixth innings with spectacular plays in the outfield. "Everyone came out to the first game to have fun," commented last year's shortstop Don Mc Cardle after the game. "We're looking forward to playing another competitive year up at the Ranch." Mc Cardle may have been referring to some of the off-season acquisitions that have brought some new power to the vaunted BOMBER line-up. Draftees IF/OF Jason Smith (Univ. of Miami), IF Barry Safley (Univ. of Arizona), IF Anna Lindblom (Japan), IF/OF Leslie Safley (USC), OF Rachel Goodwin (Univ. of Texas) are among the new faces that will adorn the 2000 BOMBER dugout. The BOMBERs got off to a fast start in the opener, sending ten batters to the plate in the first inning and scored five. The PANTS were able to keep the game close until the fifth inning, when the BOMBERs broke it open after scoring four more times. 1B Vince De Quattro, after reaching on the PANT's first basemen's third consecutive error of the contest, scored from first on three subsequent throwing errors. "He looked a little like the 'Train' out there on the basepaths today," remarked starting pitcher and 1999 Cy Young Winner, Duncan Sutherland, who notched the victory. "Like a cross between a locomotive and a 747 taking off... lots of motion, but no speed." De Quattro's slide under the tag at the plate earned him his third run of the game. New BOMBERs Anna Lindblom, Rachel Goodwin and Barry Safley all saw action vs. the PANTS. Safley was impressive, collecting 2 hits, 2 RBIs and scoring two. Reached by cell phone after the game, Safley said, "This [team] is a close knit group. They stole my clothes after the game and replaced them with a mini-skirt and sweater featuring the BOMBER's logo. It was good-natured fun, and hey, I actually look good in high heels!" The BOMBERs will weigh in against either Lena Mah's Swingers or Nelson Hall's Fighting Fish this Thursday at McInnis Park. The LFL Captains meeting takes place next Monday, 12pm at the Fitness Center. BOX SCORE -- APRIL 13, 2000 BOMBERS
AB R H BI BB SO AVG
_________________________________________________
LOB--BOMBERS 4. RBIS--De Quattro 3 (3), Schroeder
3 (3), Krish 2 (2),
Mark Diaz and Jesse Russell sparked a two-run, two out rally in the bottom of the fifth inning today, as the BOMBERS edged the PANTS, 6-5 at McInnis Park. Staked to a three-run lead with DeQuattro's bases-clearing blast in
the first, the BOMBERs found themselves down 5-4 in their last at-bat.
But more come-from-behind heroics saved the day, as Mark Diaz and
Jesse Russell hit back-to-back inside the park home runs to clinch the
victory.
UPI
The annual Lucasfilm Softball League draft took place earlier today at the Ranch, and, true to form, became the center of a media feeding frenzy. Attending were team captains, Wayne Cline (Waggle-LucasArts), Dan Petit (Magic Zero-LucasArts), Steve Boord (Maulers-Ranch Fire Dept. and groupies), Anne Barker (Roswell-Lucasfilm/THX/Swedish Volleyball Team), Lena Mah (Swingers-ILM Hunky Video Dudes), Tom Passow (Hong Kong Cavaliers-LucasArts), Vince De Quattro (Bombers-ILM), Tia Marshall (Pants-ILM), and David Wells (Sir Lance's Lot-LucasArts). This year's buzz swirled around the number of teams and number of players assigned to those teams, as the BOMBERS and PANTS weighed in with starting rosters of over 27 strong. "I looked a the chart and we were way over, even with vacations and the upcoming layoffs," Bomber Team Captain, Vince De Quattro, commented after the meeting. "Hey, I'm just kidding about layoffs. There are no layoffs. Just a joke, ok? Hey come back here." The BOMBERS traded three players, animators David Latour, Chris Minos and Andy Wong, to the Hong Kong Cavaliers for a second round draft pick in 2002. "These guys were all [represented] by the same agent. Though it was difficult to part company with our good friend David [La Tour] (.375 AVG, 4 RBIs in 8 at-bats in 1999), it was easier to move them as a package than it might have been with any other three players." De Quattro was elusive when asked about the current roster size (24) and whether it would effect the team's competitive edge in 2000. With his deep, trademark laugh and flashing smile, he remarked, "Hey size only matters in horseshoes and swing dancing. We're gonna have fun whether we field 10 or 100 players." (We didn't really get it, either.) After pointing out that a larger team means less at-bats per player on average, De Quattro was quick to counter. "Hey, maybe with another team. But with our offensive powerhouse, it just means that we'll hit around the order more often." When the Captain of the Magic Zero complained about stacking talent, De Quattro administered a quick blow to his temple, rendering him instantly unconscious, but comfortable. (He fell into his Cobb Salad). De Quattro jumped up on the table and said, "Let me say that we are still the underdog this year. That will never change. We're the team to beat, and the underdog. Let me just clarify that." (We don't really get what he meant by that.) Anyway, this year looks like it will prove to be another exciting set of match ups against teams that love to hate one another on and off the field. Tune in, you'll be glad you did. Here is the final roster for the 2000 BOMBERS: (sponsor's name in parentheses) 1998
1999
2000
LUCASVILLE(2000) - After a two-week delay, the Bombers took the newly refurbished field at Skywalker Ranch, and proceeded to decimate the team "Where's my Pants?" by the score, 28-9. Showing no signs of rust, the Bombers rattled off 8 runs in the first inning, led by RBI leader CF Jesse Russell. Power Hitters Russell and 3B Eric Schroeder combined for 9 runs, while every member of the team was able to able to cross the plate. The Bombers totalled an incredible 34 hits and 5 walks. Not to be left out, LF Marc Diaz, OF Jason Smith, 1B Todd "F.T." Krish and rookies SS Barry Safley and 3B Pat Sweeney all had a perfect nights in batting. Rookie of the week honors go to OF Rachel Goodwin, going 2-3 with 3 RBIs and scoring twice in her Bomber debut. Said SS Donnie McCardle, "She definitely made this game fun! And thats what we need on this team." Followed closely in the voting was 2B Leslie Safley with 2 RBIs and 1 run scored. Also showing promise, 3B Pat Sweeney, LF Marc Diaz, OF Jason Smith, 1B Todd "F.T." Krish and rookie SS Barry Safley each had a perfect night in their batting. The only tarnish on the night was the final out of the Bombers order when Schroeder took a called strike three to end the sixth inning. Schroeder voted "The Bomber of 1999" claimed he was distracted by thoughts
of Team Captain Vince DeQuattro, on temporary assignment to the AAA Reading
Phillies. "I needed the Captain to get my head on straight.
I really missed the big lug." This sentiment was felt by the entire
team.
LUCASVILLE(2000) - The Bombers started off slowly but eventually took control from the upstart "Darth Sox" for a final score of 19-10. The Sox were first to draw blood scoring 7 runs in the first two innings, causing the defense of the Bombers some concern. The offense was able to match with 5 runs over the same stretch, giving the defense the deep breath it needed. 1B Todd "Freight Train" Krish sparked the defense in the 3rd inning and continued the fire over the game, running out a play to first, a diving stop with bases loaded with a scoop to SS Don McCardle, and another put out at home plate with bases loaded to C Neil Lim Sang. McCardle was quoted "Thats the best play I've ever seen out of Train. His off-season conditioning has definitely increased his speed." 3B Eric Schroeder put up his own defensive stats when he gunned a runner out at first, with a tag by Krish. Schroeder was also assisted by SS Barry Safley while charging a hit, while Safley covered 3rd. Also involved in the defensive stand, 2B Neha Wickramasekaran was involved in two big plays throwing a runner out at first and covering the second base on a throw from Krish. Lim Sang came throw with a late inning snag behind homeplate to dash the "Sox" hope of a rally. On offense, the perfect Bomber of the evening was P Duncan Sutherland who went 3-3, had 4 RBIs, and scored 3 times. Base-running was also key in this game, as shown by the speed of LF
Marc Diaz, CF Jesse Russell, B. Safley and 2B Leslie Safley.
LUCASVILLE (2000) - The one-two punch of LF Jesse Russell and 3B Eric Schroeder put the hurt on "Darth Sox" last night, both having perfect nights: 3-3 batting, each a home run, each 2 doubles, and 7 total Bomber runs. The first inning showed the heat was not going to be a factor in the game as Russell cleared the bases with a deep hit to right-center, followed by a solo home run over the left field fence by Schroeder. Not to be forgotten in their batting performance, 2B Dave Weitzberg and RF Jason Smith both went 2-2 and scored 4 times, keeping the second half of the lineup humming. Interim Manager P Duncan Sutherland (3-0), noticed the performance, and was quoted "Dave has a hot bat right now. We've got to get more runners on base for him." The defense of the Bombers continues to improve as Schroeder, SS Barry Safley, SS Don "Mickey" McCardle, and 2B Neha Wickramasekaran made the field alot smaller for the Sox. Schroeder showed a hot glove to several hard hits and snagged a floater over his head late in the seventh. McCardle turned his glove into a black hole, collecting every ball hit his way. The Bomber outfield showed its speed and range with Russell chasing down several flys and CF Marc Diaz pulling in a tipped ball from OF Rachel Goodwin. Not to be lost in our highlites, OF Scott Taylor stretched a double into a triple, ending it with a head first slide. Quoting 3rd base coach McCardle, "I just told him to slide; he hit the dirt, and just swam his way too me." The sixth inning shut the door on the Sox, as seven Bombers crossed the plate, insuring the one run lead. The order of Weitzberg, Smith, C Sherry Wangeheim, C Neil Lim Sang, and RF Doug Griffin, and Diaz were a menace to the Sox, account for 5 of the 7 runs. It should be noted that Wangenheim, appeared in a Bombers uniform for the first time in a year and a half with the Bombers, and helped her team to victory. The Sox were then held scoreless with a solid defense and a run-stopping relay from Diaz, to 1B Todd "F.T." Krish, to Sutherland as catcher. The next Bomber game is Tuesday vs. the dreaded team 4 "Roswell" led by ex-Bomber Richard Fife. The Bombers bring a 3-0 record, while Roswell remains winless.
LUCASVILLE(2000)- The Bombers defense gave up 17 runs on Tuesday night, created errors every inning, but again the offense was up to the challenge to win over "Team Roswell", 30-17. Maybe it was due to the cool night air, sitting on the opposite bench than normal, the Summer Solstice or a combination of the three, the Bombers defense showed errors at every position, from throwing errors, fielding miscues and base-running ugliness. Roswell completed a night of poor softball by walking 18 Bombers on the night, almost causing the game to be shortened at six innings. Roswell tried two different pitchers that both failed to stop the Bombers offense, because a patient Bomber team waited for the moment to strike, scoring 15 runs in the 7th inning. 1B Todd "F.T." Krish was quoted "This is slow pitch softball, why is the pitcher starting with the ball above his head?" Krish would walk twice in the game. The errors are just too numerous to mention here, and the team has scheduled a mandatory practice on Tues. June 27th. A possible key error could have been when CF Marc Diaz failed to touch homeplate in the top of the sixth, and was then tagged out. Although the Bombers were up by 4 runs at the time, this could have been a controversial play had the Bombers failed to stop Roswell at 4 runs in the second half of the inning. OF Anna Lindblom was heard "Let's all chip in and buy Diaz some pants. He should have slid into home!" On offense, RF Jason Smith had another perfect night going 4-4 with one SAC, 5 RBIs, and 2 runs. Krish went 3-3 with 4 RBIs and 1 run. While Diaz went 2-2 and was responsible for a whopping 8 runs crossing the plate. Not to be left out, OF Rachel Goodwin had 3 RBIs and 3 runs, while LF Jesse Russell also accounted for six runs. Every Bomber was able to cross the plate at least once in this game. Interim Manager P Duncan Sutherland after the game: "Well, we did it all tonight. We had errors where our guys overran the ball, errors where they threw the ball away [1st base, home plate], couldn't get the ball out of their glove - is there any error left we haven't done? Let's hope they're all used up for our next game against the Swingers." Next Thursday the Bombers with face their first opponent that could techically be said to have a winning record, after the Swingers dropped to 3-3 last night. The Swingers have beaten last year's champions, the Ranch Maulers and wish to BBQ with the Bombers during the game. Krish is suspicious its the same distraction they used against the Maulers to win. On one final note, it should be mentioned that SS Donnie McCardle "took
one for the team" by intentionally striking out, to end the Bomber rally,
and allow Roswell to bat before darkness set in. The Bombers and
fans thank McCardle for his dedication to the team.
Lucasville (2000) On a chilly June night, the Bombers gave a defensive clinic to the Swingers, besting them 11-7. The Bombers were sluggish from the start gaining only one run in the first 3 innings, and giving 7 runs away over the first four innings. But in the bottom of the 4th, the Bomber comeback began, led by four consecutive hits by 3B Eric Schroeder, C Anna Lindblom, 1B Todd "F.T." Krish, and SS Donnie McCardle capping a 4-run inning. With the Bombers, down 7-5, the defense held the Swingers scoreless over the next 3 innings, with catches by CF Jesse Russell, Schroeder, P Duncan Sutherland (5-0), OF David Weitzberg and Lindblom. It should be noted Lindblom made a key throw to first after stopping a fair ball on top of home plate in the 6th inning. Good fielding was also shown by the entire infield, most notably 2B Neha Wickramasekaran, 3B Jason Patnode and 2B Leslie Safley. In the sixth inning, the Bomber offense sparked once again with the lineup of Schroeder, Lindblom, and Krish, all three crossing the plate to put the Bombers ahead for good. After Schroder was able to score on an errant throw to third, Lindblom was then moved to third on a double by Krish. With the tying run at third, the winning run at second, and one out, 2B Leslie Safley stepped to the plate to crack a sharp hit to 3rd, driving in the tying run. Sutherland answered the call by dropping a hit to opposite field, bringing Krish in from second. At this point, the Swingers defense cracked allowing 4 errors to help the Bombers win. Having a perfect game that night, RF Zach Sherman went 2-2 with 1 BB, and 1 Run scored. The Bombers pushed 18 hits on 39 at-bats, their lowest output of the season. Offensive honors go to Lindblom for hitting 2-3 and scoring twice, with 2nd place votes going to Schroeder for 2 doubles and 2 runs scored. The Bombers next face the Fighting Ceolcanths (4-2) on Thursday July 6th, with the return of Captain Vince DeQuattro. Tickets are still available for this game, but it expects to be a sellout. This will be the first team the Bombers face with a winning record. 1 2
3 4 5 6 7
P Sutherland (W 5-0)
AP Lucas Valley, CA In a duel that showcased two of the league's best hurlers, the Fighting FISH held the BOMBERS to seven runs over seven innings and won 9 - 7 last Thursday night at Lucas Ranch Field. SS Vince De Quattro, returning after his 30 day suspension, flied to deep right for the final out, stranding RF Scott Taylor at first base after he collected a two-out single, ending the BOMBER's brief come-back bid. The Fish's Ace, Greg Robles, struck out two and walked none on his way to a complete game victory over this year's top scoring team. "Anytime an opposing pitcher holds us under ten runs, he's got something special. Robles pitched consistently and kept his arc high and deep," said De Quattro, who was 1 for 3 with a strikeout. The BOMBERS had scored an average of 21 runs in their five previous victories. Standout plate performances by Taylor, CF Jesse Russell, and 1B Todd Krish contributed seven of the BOMBERS twelve total hits. Taylor, who was 3-for-3, commented from the clubhouse whirlpool after the game, "We couldn't seem to string together back-to-back hits. Greg would get it together and find a way to get us out. It was frustrating." The BOMBER defense turned in a tight game, but several miscues opened the door for the FISH, who capitalized on errors in the first and sixth inning to score six runs. Sutherland (L, 5-1) watched as five unearned runs crossed the plate in the first two innings. After the game, his right arm on ice, he talked to reporters, saying, "Historically this team has always played us close. They just out-played us this time. It's a wake up call for us. We've played a string of sub - .500 teams. We needed to see how we match up with a league leader." In their previous five match-ups with the FISH dating from 1998, the BOMBERS are 2 - 3, with one of the victories coming in the 1998 Tournament. In the four of the five outcomes, the difference has been a single run. The BOMBERS face the CAVALIERS tonight and the PANTS next week. Both teams are winless against the BOMBERS over the past two years. BOX SCORE -- JULY 6, 2000 BOMBERS
AB R H BI BB SO LOB AVG
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
LOB--BOMBERS 9. RBIS--Smith J. 2 (9), Diaz
(8), Krish(9), Lim Sang(5),
July 13, 2000
An injured Jesse Russell, last year's Bomber MVP, looked on from the dugout as his Bomber teammates systematically dismantled an ineffective Cavalier squad, 21 - 4 in just under ninety minutes Monday evening. After dropping a close contest to the Fighting Fish last week, the Bomber batsmen unleashed a torrent of offense against the hapless Cavs. "When De Quattro blasted a shot into the corner and then chased Anna [Lindblom] around the bases, I think we all felt that our mojo was back," commented first baseman, Todd Krish, sitting in front of his locker, examining a stack of car engine repair bills. Krish had drilled a fourth inning offering into straight-away center field and was able to circle the bases for his first home run of the season. SS Vince De Quattro hit his first round tripper of the season, a two-run blast in the first. The Bombers pushed across twenty-one runs on twenty-one hits as they snapped their single game offensive slump. Some new faces commanded attention at the post-game press conference. Veteran reporters had to check their Press Guides as most of the Bomber regulars were absent from the dais, giving way to rookies like Zachary Sherman, Jason Patnode, and Jason Smith. OF Zachary Sherman, in his debut as the Bomber's number two hitter, created quite a buzz as he promptly went to work, banged out three hits, including a two-run double. Presented with the game ball afterward, a rather subdued Sherman declined comment and instead asked for a Kleenex. After pounding a case of Zimas during the pre-game warmup, OF Jason "Superman" Patnode, was seen buzzing around the short outfield, running into teammates and attempting several diving catches. "We don't know what the hell got into him," explained LF Jason Smith. "We tried to hold him down between innings, but he had this weird super-human strength. The kind of power you get after inhaling twenty cups of coffee." Patnode did not record a single put-out during the game, but was seemingly involved in every play. Patnode put up big numbers at the plate, collecting two hits while driving in three runs. Newcomer Jason Smith, all seven-foot three, three hundred pounds of him was humble in the spotlight. When asked about a line drive that dropped fellow teammate and 3B Eric Schroeder to the dirt at third, he responded, "Sure I can hit the ball a lick. Coach just tells me where to hit 'em and dammit, there they go! How was I to know that Escho's backside would get in the way?" Smith went an impressive three-for-four, collecting three RBIs. Duncan Sutherland, the odds-on favorite for this year's Cy-Young Trophy, kept the opposition off the basepaths with an uncanny accuracy. Sutherland struck out three and scattered six hits over seven innings. Neha Wickramasekaran, playing second base for the third time this season, added exuberantly, "Duncan was close to perfect tonight. And thank Golly, because if I ever have to take the mound again, I think I'll just die!" Hmm. The Bomber defense, despite missing standouts Russell and 2B Leslie Safley to injury, played solidly, and turned back scoring threat after scoring threat for seven innings. OF Rachel N. Goodwin will rejoin the club next week against the Pants. Expected to accompany her return will be OF Doug Griffin (ankle), IF Pat Sweeney (back surgery), IF Leslie Safley (neck), SS Barry Safley (brain surgery), and SS Don Mc Cardle, who we really haven't seen since the Sept. 7, 1999 win against the Tuscan Raiders. Later that evening, the Bomber's head office issued a separate press release stating that the world would never again be subjected to another ham-handed game accounting by a particular Bomber first baseman. Those present applauded the news by toasting with glasses of Night Train and Champale. You big dummy.
BOX SCORE -- JULY 10, 2000 BOMBERS
AB R H BI BB SO LOB AVG
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
LOB--BOMBERS 11. RBIS--Patnode 3 (7), Sherman
3 (9), Smith J. 3 (12),
PITCHING BOMBERS
IP H R ER BB SO NP ERA
July 20, 2000 AP Wire
After two innings were in the book Tuesday, the Bombers found themselves eleven runs ahead of "Where's My Pants?" and completely in charge of what was proving to be another laugher in their two year cross-quad rivalry. Polly Ing, manager of the Pants, popped cheese balls and watched helplessly as thirteen Bomber hitters came to the plate in the first and ten more came to the plate in the second. After a five-run defensive lapse in the fourth allowed the Pants to pull within six runs, the Bombers were forced to focus on defense, spearheaded by the stellar play of first bagger Todd "Express" Krish and third baseman Eric Schroeder. In addition to the solid play in the corners, SS Vince De Quattro provided a key double play in the fifth to end a two-run Pants rally. Catcher, Neil "Omen" Lim Sang put a hard tag on a sliding Tia Marshall in the third. "These guys are the best in the league right now," said Umpire Andy Dennis, an off-duty Lieutenant with the Coast Guard. "I've seen each of the teams now, and the Bomber infield is the cream of the crop, la creme de la creme, the best in show. I have more analogies if you've got the time." We didn't. Krish and Schroeder's hot bats, when combined with their defensive leadership, have vaulted them into early contention for this year's coveted "Bomber MVP" award. Perennial MVP favorite, Jesse Russell was happy to share the accolades. "Hey, that's what this team is all about. Everyone contributes and it's good to see these guys step up and put on a show for the fans." Krish is considering a change in moniker from "Freight" to "Express" now that he's trimmed 30 pounds off his engine. "Yeah, the guys are getting on me about that. I don't leave craters in the basepaths when I circle the bases anymore. I don't need a ventilator when I get to third. It's depressing. I loved that nickname." Rookie of the Year rumors have sprung up around Leslie Safley's name, as she returned from the fifteen day disabled list to bang out three hits and cash in a run. Still feeling the effects of sore neck and shoulder muscles, Safley is day-to-day. De Quattro, commented on Safley's status, saying, "We've got her under twenty-four hour observation by our training staff. We're doing everything we can to get her back to 100%." Jason Smith, with a virtual lock on Rookie honors since the season began, has been forced to glance over his shoulder at the charging Safley. "I just wish her brother hit so well," remarked Smith casually as he soaked in the whirlpool after the game. Smith is leading or near the top in all major offensive categories, batting .737 in six games, with 14 hits, 4 doubles, 14 RBIs, and one runner's ass. When asked about whether or not Schroeder had spoken to him regarding the errant line drive, Smith laughed, "Yeah, Eric dropped a medical bill in my lap before the game. He claims he needed a chiropractic adjustment. Just another form of rookie hazing, I guess." Batting woes at the numbers two and three positions in the order continued as Jesse Russell remained sidelined by ankle tenderness and RF Zachary Sherman was in San Diego for a private business matter. Jason Patnode, last year's co-Rookie of-the-Year had been hitting a sizzling .500 in the number twelve spot, but was cooled by the combined pitching of Jeff Benedict and Tia Marshall, going 0-for-4 in the contest. Another Bomber rookie, Barry Safley, back from a month in the minor leagues, was just as befuddled by Pants hurlers. In the last four games, the number two and three spots in the order have hit a meager .250. "That's the great thing about the game," offered Patnode, fielding questions from reporters after the game. "You have a lousy outing, and you get another chance next week. You put it behind you, and you move on." Patnode waved off further questions, and ran off into the night. Bomber ace, Duncan Sutherland, dominated for seven innings, allowing only one earned run. The Bombers received a scare in the fourth when Sutherland was struck on the foot by a blistering line drive from the Pants' right fielder, Nigel Sumner. Visibly shaken, Sutherland continued, but struggled through the rest of the inning as the Pants capitalized on three consecutive Bomber errors and ultimately pushed across five runs. Making an appearance as Bomber batboy was De Quattro's nine-year-old son, Vince III. The junior De Quattro last carried bats for the Bomber offense during their three game sweep of the 1998 Tournament Championship. "I thought we could use a good luck charm tonight," said the elder De Quattro. "We've got a couple games against the Maulers in the next two weeks. If we stay on track at the plate, and play this well in the field, we won't need luck." "Don't listen to him," whispered a sidelined Don Mc Cardle (back injury). "We're a very superstitious team. Take the number of letters in all of our names and divide by the sum of the numbers on our jerseys and what do you get? You get 9, man. That's our team number. Think about that... Nine." Seconds later, Mc Cardle was unavailable for further comment as he was spirited away by team officials. The Bombers will next face the Maulers on Wednesday, July 26th.
BOX SCORE -- JULY 19, 2000 BOMBERS
AB R H BI BB SO LOB AVG
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
LOB--BOMBERS 11. RBIS--Sutherland 3 (12),
Smith 2 (14),
PITCHING BOMBERS
IP H R ER BB SO NP ERA
SCORING SUMMARY First inning. Diaz singled to center. Patnode reached on the error by the shortstop, Diaz to second. Safley B forced Diaz at third. Schroeder singled to left, scoring Patnode, Safley to second. Sutherland reached on the error by the second baseman, Safley scoring, Schroeder scored on the throwing error by the left fielder. Krish singled to right, scoring Sutherland. Taylor singled to center, scoring Krish. Smith flied to left. Sweeney doubled to center, scoring Taylor. Lim Sang walked. Safley L singled to left, scoring Sweeney, Lim Sang advancing to third. De Quattro reached second on the error by the right fielder, Lim Sang scoring, Safley to third. Lindblom flied to third. Eight runs on seven hits, four errors, two runners left on base. BOMBERS 8, Pants 0. Second inning. Diaz doubled to right. Patnode reached on the error by the left fielder, Diaz thrown out attempting to reach third. Safley B forced Patnode at second. Schroeder reached on the error by the shortstop, Safley to second. Sutherland singled to right center, Safley and Schroeder scoring. Krish singled to left, Sutherland to second. Taylor singled to left, Sutherland to third, Krish to second. Smith singled to left, Sutherland and Krish scoring. Sweeney struck out. Four runs on five hits, three errors, two runners left on base. BOMBERS 12, Pants 1. Sixth inning. Lim Sang reached on
the error by the third baseman. Safley L singled to left, Lim Sang
to second. De Quattro singled to the second baseman, loading the
bases. Lindblom flied to the third baseman. Diaz doubled to
center, Lim Sang scoring, Safley thrown out at the plate, De Quattro to
third. Patnode flied to center field. One run on three hits,
one error, two men left on base. BOMBERS 13, Pants 8.
Here's one for Leslie.
BOX SCORE -- AUGUST 7, 2000 BOMBERS
AB R H BI BB SO LOB AVG
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
LOB--BOMBERS 5. RBIS--Lim Sang 3 (9), Beach
2 (2),
PITCHING BOMBERS
IP H R ER BB SO NP ERA
SCORING SUMMARY Second inning. With two outs, Krish reaches on the third baseman's fielding error. Smith singles Krish to second. Sutherland singles, scoring Krish. De Quattro singles, scoring Smith. Lim Sang singles, scoring Sutherland and De Quattro. Wickramasekaran flies to third. Four runs on four hits and one error, one runner left on base. BOMBERS 4, Zeroes 1. Fourth inning. Patnode doubles to left. Schroeder's ground-rule triple scores Patnode. Beach sacrifices, Schroeder scoring. Two runs on two hits, nobody left of base. BOMBERS 6, Zeroes 5. Fifth inning. Sutherland triples to center. De Quattro singles to right, scoring Sutherland and takes second on the throw from the outfield. Lim Sang grounds to short, De Quattro advancing to third. Wickramasekaran singles, scoring De Quattro. Lindblom reaches on the fielder's choice, forcing Wickramasekaran at second. Wangenheim reaches on the infield single. Diaz doubles to the left field gap, scoring Lindblom and Wangenheim, and takes third on the throw from the outfield. Sherman singles, scoring Diaz. Patnode reaches on the error by the second baseman. Schoeder reaches on the throwing error by the shortstop, scoring Sherman. Beach reaches on the error by the third baseman, scoring Patnode. Krish reaches on the throwing error by the shortstop, scoring Schroeder and Beach. Smith grounds out to the shortstop. Nine runs on six hits and five errors and one runner left on base. BOMBERS 15, Zeroes 5. Sixth Inning. With one out, De Quattro
doubles into right field, taking third on the throw from the outfield.
Lim Sang singles to center, scoring De Quattro. Wickramasekaran reaches
on the error by the pitcher. Lindblom grounds to the pitcher. Wangenheim
strikes out. One run on two hits and one error, one runner left on
base. BOMBERS 16, Zeroes 5.
AP Wire
With darkness fast approaching and three runs across in the top of the seventh inning last Thursday night, Catcher Jason Patnode collected an infield dribbler and scampered back across home plate to record the final out. Patnode's quick thinking and hot bat earned him co-MVP status with power-hitting third baseman Eric Schroeder who raised his batting average to .629 and collected five RBIs during the contest for a season total of 25 runs batted in, a new Bomber season record. Jesse Russell, playing third base for a resting Schroeder, hooked
up with Patnode on an impressive put-out to erase a Roswell runner at home
plate on the previous play, setting up the final out heroics. After
pitching a scoreless sixth in relief of starter Duncan Sutherland, last
year's standout pitcher, Neha Wickramasekaran (4 wins-3 losses in 1999),
found herself in a bit of trouble. After being hit by a line drive
by the second batter of the inning, Wickramasekaran gave up back-to-back
walks
"We wanted to end this one strongly. We had a 25 run lead going into this inning, and we wanted to send a message to the Swingers who we play next week. I did what I've been training to do all season," said a serious Patnode in the post-game press conference. Jason's excellent field work when combined with his hot hitting (3-for-4, 2 runs and 3 RBIs) secured his co-MVP role against Roswell. Fellow MVP Eric Schroeder's 4-for-4 performance was the best since outfielder Marc Diaz had four hits in as many at bats in the Bomber's 13 - 9 win against the Pants on July 18th. Winning pitcher Duncan Sutherland who left the game early due to a sore right index finger, was reached at his ranch in Sonoma County. "Anytime your lineup gets twenty-seven hits, you're going to get the victory. No question about that. In our previous two losses, we were held to under ten hits. Now that we're back to full power on the bench, we're going to be hard to stop." Diaz, Schroeder and SS Vince De Quattro all hit home runs in the contest, the first multi-homer game since the 1999 Tournament game vs. Magic Zero. Dave Weitzberg returned to the infield after a month on the disabled list and contributed several solid plays at second base as well as going 3-for-3 with 2 runs scored and 2 RBIs. Wickramasekaran's two innings of work were her first in league play since August 30th, 1999, when she went seven innings in a 16-11 loss to the Waggle. "Neha's strikeout in the final inning tonight was as big as any out this season," said Russell after the game. "She came up big after being hit by the line drive." In other team news, the contract dispute between shortstop Donald McCardle and Bomber Management intensified last week as both parties have broken off negotiations. De Quattro was quite candid at the post-game news conferences when asked about the current situation with McCardle. "Donny has always been a professional, on and off the field. He was a big reason that we were able to get the number one seed last year going into the Tournament. He has always been a team player and a positive influence on the field. This disagreement is strictly between Team Management and Donny's agent and that's all I can say about the matter. I hope we get Don back in the lineup soon." Rumors have surrounded Mc Cardle's absence from the roster during the past two games. Some team insiders have pointed to a postgame closed-door shouting match between De Quattro and Mc Cardle after the darkness-shortened Mauler game three weeks ago. "Coach was pushing Donny pretty hard out there and I think a combination of on-field tensions and the salary dispute just caused the situation to get out-of-control," commented one player. Mc Cardle's numbers are sharply down from last year, when he hit .490 with 14 RBIs and 25 runs scored, second highest behind lead-off batter Marc Diaz who had 29. His solo home run in the top of the sixth inning of the final regular season game vs. the PANTS proved to be the game winner and guaranteed the BOMBERS the top seed in the LFL Tournament. Mc Cardle is batting a career-low .261 with 4 RBIs and just nine runs scored through eight games this season. Bombers insiders credit uncharacteristically large rosters as the primary reason behind this season's tensions. "Let's face it. We've got only ten positions available for seven innings. If 22 players show up, then you're basically playing about three innings a game. Some people feel that they're not getting enough playing time," commented one player. De Quattro was firm when he addressed reporters who asked about the roster size. "The League knows how upset we are. They acknowledge that they could have carried at least three more teams this year. We're not concerned with that right now. We have six more games to win (three regular season, three tournament) and then we can get into all that [stuff]." The Bombers face the Swingers this Wednesday in what could prove to
be the biggest challenge to securing at least a tie for this year's LFL
Season Championship. "We're coming off a big win and we're on an
offensive
With last week's victory, the Bombers improved their margin of victory to 100 runs over their competition this year, a new Bomber team record. BOMBER HITTING LEADERS
Krish, Todd 31 16 22 .710 Diaz, Marc 24 20 34 .706 Schroeder, Eric 35 23 22 .629 Russell, Jessee 24 12 15 .625 De Quattro, Vince 16 7 10 .625 Smith, Jason 27 10 16 .593 Weitzberg, David 14 8 8 .571 Sutherland, Duncan 31 14 17 .548 Safley, Leslie 20 4 10 .500 Taylor, Scott 25 10 12 .480 BOX SCORE -- AUGUST 17, 2000 BOMBERS
AB R H BI BB SO LOB AVG
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
LOB--BOMBERS 6. RBIS--Schroeder 5 (25*), Diaz
3 (15), De Quattro 3 (8),
* Bomber season record
PITCHING BOMBERS
IP H R ER BB SO NP ERA
SCORING SUMMARY First inning. Diaz homers to right center. Sherman reaches on the third baseman's fielding error. Russell singles to left. Schroeder doubles to left center, scoring Sherman and Russell. Krish doubles to center scoring Schroeder and takes third on the throw. Smith sacrifices to left, scoring Krish. Sutherland singles. De Quattro's fielder's choice forces Sutherland at second. Patnode pops to the shortstop. BOMBERS 5, Roswell 0. Second inning. Taylor reaches on the shortstop's throwing error. Lim Sang singles, moving Taylor to third. Weitzberg singles, scoring Taylor. Wickramasekaran flies to the third baseman. Wangenheim bounces to the shortstop, moving Lim Sang to third. Diaz triples to right, scoring Lim Sang and Weitzberg, and scores on the throwing error by the shortstop. Sherman flies to left. BOMBERS 9, Roswell 0. Third inning. With one out, Schroeder doubles to left center. Krish walks. Smith flies to the third baseman. Sutherland doubles to deep center, scoring Schroeder and Krish. De Quattro singles to right, scoring Sutherland. Patnode doubles to center, scoring De Quattro. Taylor singles to left, scoring Patnode. Lim Sang forces Taylor at second. BOMBERS 14, Roswell 0. Fourth inning. Weitzberg doubles to left center. Wickramasekaran bounces out to the pitcher, Weitzberg takes third. Wangenheim grounds out to short, scoring Weitzberg. Diaz triples to deep left, scoring Weitzberg and scores on the throwing error by the shortstop. Sherman grounds out to the third baseman. BOMBERS 16, Roswell 5. Fifth inning. Russell singles to center. Schroeder homers to left. Krish flies to centerfield. Smith reaches second on the two-base error by the left fielder. De Quattro homers to right. Patnode singles to left. Taylor doubles to left center, scoring Patnode. Lim Sang grounds out to the shortstop. Weitzberg singles to left, scoring Taylor. Wickramasekaran singles to left. Wangenheim strikes out. BOMBERS 22, Roswell 5. Sixth Inning. Diaz reaches on the third baseman's error. Sherman singles, Diaz takes third. Russell sacrifices to deep left, scoring Diaz. Schroeder singles to left-center, scoring Sherman and takes second on the throw. Krish singles to left, scoring Schroeder. Smith strikes out. De Quattro doubles to left. Patnode singles to left, scoring Krish and De Quattro. Taylor reaches on the error by the shortstop. Lim Sang forces Taylor at second. BOMBERS 27, Roswell 5.
AP Wire
In the three years since joining the LFL, the Bombers have never lost a contest by more than four runs. Last night, a re-built Swingers team shocked the second-place Bombers, pushing eight runs across in the bottom of the second inning en route to a 14 - 3 victory. The Bombers were looking to notch their tenth victory, virtually securing a top seeding in the LFL Tournament for the third straight year. Able to field only nine players during the game, the Bombers watched as Swinger batters dropped hit after hit into the gaps. During a short press conference after the loss, team captain Vince De Quattro talked to reporters. "Our women had some scheduling conflicts couldn't make the game. I'm not sure that we could have slowed them down with twelve fielders out there tonight." Defensively, the Bombers played a solid game until the bottom of the sixth, when the floodgates opened. Four unearned runs crossed the plate on four errors, two by rookie first baseman, Zach Sherman. "In Zach's defense, he hasn't been getting a lot of playing time. He's rusty, " pointed out starting first basemen and 2000 LFL All-Star, Todd Krish. Duncan Sutherland, pitching on a week's rest, gave up six earned runs amidst the flurry of Swinger scoring. Sutherland spent a few minutes with reporters outside the locker room after the game. "Normally our bats get us out of trouble. If we can get into double-digits, we can usually close a game down. It just didn't fall our way last night." Game MVP and center fielder, Jesse Russell, picked up three assists, as he gunned down runners in the second, third and fourth innings, once at second base and twice at third. Infielders 1B Todd Krish, 2B Neha Wickramasekaran, SS Vince De Quattro and 3B Eric Schroeder turned in solid performances and held the Swingers scoreless from the third to the sixth inning. No defense can make up for a lack of offense, however, as the Bombers struggled at the plate. Krish explained, "Against Roswell last week, we fattened up on flat, consistent pitching and ended up with 28 hits in 7 innings. Rob [De Haan] pitched a gem tonight." De Haan went the distance for the Swingers scattering seven hits over
six innings. Schroeder, who was 1-for-2 on the night, said,
"Rob's arc was good. He kept up off balance with a good mix of super
high and flat stuff. We haven't seen control like that since our
loss to the Fish in July," De Haan has won in his last four
starts and has enabled the Swingers to take sole possession of third place
with a record of 9 wins and 4 losses.
"Completely my fault," corrected De Quattro, who was the third base coach at the time. "Jason is the new "freight train." I had no business sending him home with one out and our best hitter coming to the plate." Smith drove a shot into deep left and was rounding third as the relay throw got to the shortstop. De Quattro waved him home. The throw from the shortstop was on the money and Smith did not slide, making for an easy put out at the plate. "Smith's heart was about to explode as he lurched past me. I heard metal on metal sounds and a high-pitched whine. I realize now that I nearly killed him." The next batter, team batting leader, Todd Krish (.706), tripled to right center. Instead of one out and four runs in, Krish ended up stranded on third after Sutherland flew to left center. The Bombers are 5 - 1 vs. the Swingers over the past three years in league play. The last regular season game is scheduled for Wed. Aug. 30th. against the HK Cavaliers. The Cavaliers dropped their first match-up to the Bombers, 21 - 4. BOX SCORE -- AUGUST 23, 2000 BOMBERS
AB R H BI BB SO LOB AVG
_________________________________________________
LOB--BOMBERS 4. RBIS--Smith 2 (17), Schroeder
(26).
PITCHING BOMBERS
IP H R ER BB SO NP ERA
SCORING SUMMARY Fifth inning. With one out, Sherman singles to left. Russell singles to center. Schroeder singles to left, scoring Sherman, Russell takes third. Smith triples to deep left and is thrown out attempting to score. Krish triples to deep left center. Sutherland flies to center. BOMBERS 3, Swingers 10.
With one out in the final inning of a darkness-shortened game, Scott Taylor stood at first as the Bomber's best hitter, Todd Krish, stepped to the plate. On the broad shoulders of the Freight Train stood a chance at one of the most improbable come-from-behind victories in the history of the team. Krish had singled and doubled in his previous two at-bats, driving in two and scoring twice, accounting for four of the Bomber's nine runs. Krish hit a 2-1 pitch sharply to the shortstop, who fielded it cleanly to the left of second base, stepped on second, forcing Taylor, and then gunned down a furiously charging Krish for the game-ending double play. For a fleeting moment Lucas Valley Field was drowned in complete silence. For an unbelievable instant, both teams stared in shock as the home plate umpire balled a fist, ruled Krish out and the game over. As if on cue, the entire Cavalier team erupted in celebration, claiming a hard-won victory after three frustrating years of defeat at the hands of the Bombers. "I had to give them a hand," said Captain and Bomber shortstop Vince De Quattro. "We came out to the field today at 6PM, and their entire team was already here, holding batting practice. It's an understatement to say that they got up for the game against us. They played like this was the game of their lives tonight." As the clusters of jubilant Cavalier players finished their celebration, they formed a traditional greeting line and accepted the congratulations offered by a stunned Bomber team. Hall of Fame Pitcher, Duncan Sutherland, was upbeat. "Hey, a game like this is what this league is all about. Any team can come out here on any day, and if motivated, bring the home the victory. They wanted this one tonight. They proved it." Sutherland was charged with the tough task of keeping his opponent off the base paths with a depleted and inexperienced outfield. Fielding only nine players during the first two innings, the Bombers yielded 10 runs, five in each inning. The Cavaliers took quick advantage of the spread outfield and of Bomber rookies pressed into playing unfamiliar positions. "Coach asked me if I'd ever played in the outfield before. I told him I was up to it and I gave it my best shot," said utility infielder Pat Sweeney, who made several solid catches in left and center fields. "I just wish I had another crack at the one that got away," Sweeney said, referring to the first inning drive off Cavalier Captain Tom Passow's bat misjudged for a triple. After the second inning, Sutherland and the Bomber defense settled down, blanking the Cavaliers over the final three innings. Playing catch up ball, the Bombers struck back for four runs in the bottom of the second and third innings. But the Cavaliers held in the bottom of the fourth, when catcher Neil Lim Sang, outfielder Neha Wickramasekaran and hot hitting left fielder, Marc Diaz, went down on pop-ups to the left side of the infield. The umpire, Mark Kulic, indicated to both teams that the game would be called after the fifth inning due to darkness. Down two runs with the heart of their line-up coming to the plate, the Bombers were poised to come away with an improbable come-from-behind victory. Zachary Sherman, playing center field for the first time this season, promptly banged a single to center. Sutherland bounced to the second baseman, who bobbled the grounder and made a low throw to the first baseman, who had a difficult time finding the handle. Sutherland, the recipient of a hard line drive to his injured knee in the top of the second inning, hobbled toward first but inexplicably stopped short of the base. In front of reporters and the post-game press conference, Sutherland explained, "You can go on and on about what-ifs all night, fellas. There were plenty of opportunities for us to come up with runs tonight. Sure, I should run through the bag at first. My knee is not 100 percent and I figure I'm a guaranteed out. If I run through the play, maybe we pull it out, maybe we don't. It's ridiculous to speculate about it." Sherman, taking a hard slide into second base, broke his ankle and had to be carried off the field. He will miss the rest of the season and the tournament. He was unavailable for comment, but was in stable condition at a local hospital. Diaz, running for Sherman. scored on Taylor's subsequent opposite field single, setting the stage for Krish and, if he reached base, a fired-up De Quattro who had homered in the third. "I'm thinking that Freight might just end it right here. The big man was due for some last inning heroics. I guess he's saving it for the tournament next week," said De Quattro. Infielder Dave Weitzberg, substituting for an absent Eric Schroeder, made several outstanding plays during the game, while raising his batting average to a career-high .556 on two hits. All-Star first baseman Krish made a spectacular catch in the top of the fifth, and hooked up with shortstop De Quattro on a close play in the third. A soft grounder hit to the left side was bare-handed by a charging De Quattro who threw to Krish for the out. Without Bomber bombers Schroeder, Jason Smith, Jesse Russell, Jason Patnode and Dugan Beach in the line-up, the bench was asked to step up and manufacture runs. Outfielder Scott Taylor, Weitzberg, and Sweeney's efforts at the plate garnered them praise from their teammates, accounting for nearly two-thirds of the Bomber's run production. "Hats off to these guys. They were put in roles that they're not normally used to. The came up big tonight. Big enough to get us close," said Krish. "We'll be ready for the tournament. Count on that." The Bombers remain in second place in the LFL standings, with 9 wins
and 4 losses, one game behind the Fighting Fish. They are scheduled
to complete the game against the Ranch Maulers next Thursday, at Lucas
Valley Field, 6:30PM. They lead in the game, 11 - 4, with one
out in the bottom of the fourth inning.
BOX SCORE -- AUGUST 30, 2000 BOMBERS
AB R H BI BB SO LOB AVG
_________________________________________________
LOB--BOMBERS 3. HR--De Quattro (3). 2B--De
Quattro (4), Krish (4),
PITCHING BOMBERS
IP H R ER BB SO NP ERA
SCORING SUMMARY Second inning. Krish singles to left.
De Quattro doubles to right. Sweeney doubles to center, scoring Krish and
De Quattro.
Third inning. Diaz singles to left. Sherman flies to center. Sutherland forces Diaz at second. Taylor singles to center. Krish doubles down the third base line, scoring Sutherland and Taylor. De Quattro homers to right, scoring Krish. Sweeney walks. Weitzberg singles to left. Safley forces Sweeney at third. BOMBERS 8, Cavaliers 10. Fifth inning. Sherman singles to center. Sutherland bounces to second. Diaz runs for Sherman. Taylor singles to right, scoring Diaz. Krish grounds into a double play. BOMBERS 9, Cavaliers 10.
A year's summation by Bomber Team Captain, Vince De Quattro. Don't change this summer, OK? What else is left to say? For those of you who were there, the joy of playing in the final tournament game is enough to wash away the pain of the fifteen-week softball marathon better known as the LFL season. I forced Duncan to recount the play-by-play at 9PM saturday night, as he relaxed at home over a rousing game of pinochle. I, personally, was caught in the process of stealing away from my Chinese step-sister's Tong-arranged wedding in order to get the play-by-play. Wearing my waiter disguise, I stayed at the phone bank long enough to get the gory details of the three game wonderfest. You beat the Swingers and you lost to a professional gang of ringers. Pat yourself on the back, because it's simply an awesome achievement. So, if you've got any intelligence left in your sad, desiccated bodies, you'd run screaming from the prospect of playing on this free-swinging, dirt-brawling, smash-mouth softball team next year. We'll understand. No really, the rest of this message is kinda long, and if you're not hanging around to see the bloody aftermath of next year's season, best run along now. But if you're as dumb as I think you are, you'll sign right back up for more on-field abuse and shocking behind-the-scenes drama due out next year in the theaters and local diamonds near you. Let me just take a moment to apologize to those few who felt belittled, beset or berated. I wasn't yelling at you, I was yelling at McCardle. for those others who felt belittled, beset or berated, I wasn't yelling at you, either. I have Tourette's Syndrome. But for those of you who gained one whit of additional respect for the game this year, congratulations, you passed the course with flying colors. We'll have your diploma for you next week. For those of you who actually enjoyed the taste of sweat, fear and humble pie, come on over, man, you're ready for your Bomber tattoo. There are a few people either silly or crazy enough to care about a company softball league. I'm sure that some of you now realize that you're stuck on that rarest of teams that is predominantly composed of such folk. I love baseball. I can't play baseball anymore. I'm too old, too slow and too addled by years of being hit in various organs by baseballs. You love softball, too, especially if you're still reading this. I applaud your persistence, your patience. I applaud your grasp of English. Managing a company softball team is a little like herding cats. The guys on the television commercial make it look easy, don't they? Most of the folks that come out for company softball think that, besides wearing a glove, they'll be wearing a little mustard too. They picture an idyllic setting, replete with flowing beer and waiters that run the bases to serve the next round of hors d'oeuvres. But surely NOBODY expects to learn anything, let alone attending
a practice during lunchtime to do so. It's unheard of. I thought
it'd be a perfect way to enact a sort of cultural Darwinism as a continuation
of my
Kind of like an LFL "Survivor." It's dave weitzberg's fault, of course. blame him, not me. Dave Weitzberg is a guy that you'd never imagine would be interested in softball. He looks like he was born at MIT. Delivered right there in the physics department maternity ward. "Good morning, gentlemen," I imagine he'd say, as his umbilical cord was cut back in 1985. it was Dave who turned to me one day three years ago and said, "Hey Vince, want to play softball together?" I told Dave that he wasn't my type, first off, and that i was going out with Lindy, an imperious sorority girl that would look down upon such a blue-collar waste of time.. Undaunted, he signed me up anyway and in a few short months i was out rubbing elbows with legendary Bomber titans Chris Stately and James Cook. I felt huge, massive, full of testosterone and vigor, one step shy of a blood-doping before an Olympic cycling event and two steps shy of the WWF's "Friday Night Smackdown" on TNT. We were a bunch of buffoons united by absolutely nothing, really, during that first glorious year. Except that Marc Diaz was thoughtful enough to bring a small bar to each game so that we could get all warm and fuzzy by the third baseline. So I guess we were united by our alcoholism. Sort of an "AA" for the softball set. It worked perfectly and we stumbled into a tournament victory, and the rest, dear reader, is history. So what can I say? Not much really. But I can finish this up by thanking some folks for getting us through the weirdest season on record: Duncan Sutherland Duncan Sutherland is indefatigable. he never complains, he never quits. Under the hood, he's got a giant character with a massive heart that can bear the burden of a team on his broad back or the tender concern of a second baseman when she's been laid flat by some wild-eyed, four hundred pound, side-show freak. He's the rock of the team. He's got my vote for captain next year, if he'll have it. Todd Krish I threw Krish a bone this year, and he stole the entire skeleton. Here's a guy that might best serve as the definition of what a Bomber truly is: massive, impossible to destroy, hard to get moving and hard to stop moving. Like a battleship. Like a small planet. Krish dropped forty pounds last year because he was pissed off about his lowered batting average during the summer of 1999. He just stopped eating and started working out at Gold's. I might safely say that without that pesky newcomer, Russell, he would be the hands-down MVP favorite this year. He's good. and he's bound to get even better. The high pressure situations will be his meat next year. He'll be hungry for that adrenaline lunch. Eric Schroeder It's hard to talk about Eschro, (pronounced, E-SHROH), without breaking into a smile. Do you know anyone that is more easy going? besides Stately. Besides Beach or Chesloff. This guy would have kept his nerve as a Protestant during the Spanish Inquisition. "Dunk me in the flaming oil, again, montsignor," he might have said. Another natural athlete, he could have blown us off this year. I mean, here's a guy busting butt over in commercials in a new position with a beautiful new bride coming out to ball games and coming out alot. He missed one game this year. And when he swings the bat, get out of the way, or say hello to a new, raw, orifice that the neighborhood kids will pay a dollar to peer through. He didn't win the 1999 BOMBER award for being a safe, politically correct, choice. Next to Krish and Beach, he's got big power. Bomber Power. Jesse Russell It's probably sacreligious to mention a new Bomber that wasn't around during the first year before an original Bomber. But this guy could be a perennial MVP. He was recruited by the Giants during their 1999 slide. He continues to make all of us look good, when we know we really shouldn't even be in the game. A kind, decent guy, he's also the best looking. I hate him for it. He's the guy I wanted to be when I was twenty-something. i'm trying to get him to wise up and dump this team and join a real league. Maybe his medication will kick in. Maybe he'll find an awesome job with a dot com. All I know is that at the dawning of each new day, I lay a small offering at the softball shrine and pray that Jesse Russell will continue to wear a Bomber uniform. Marc Diaz Diaz just keeps getting better. He's a natural athlete that learned to play softball three years ago. Maybe four. His fiery drive to win is hidden somewhere in that quiet facade of his. When he learns to slide, he'll be happy, content with his life. Until then, look out. He worked his butt off to keep us in beers and ice. Way more important than the 60 runs he's scored over the past three years. He'd agree. Neha Wickramasekaran, Leslie Safley, Anna Lindblom, Sherry Wangenheim and Rachel Goodwin In that order. This game was designed to be leavened by the addition of a hearty helping of women athlete. Takes some of the sting out of having ten sweaty guys sitting around spitting, swearing and popping neck veins. Without our women, we would be nothing. Without us, they'd be alot better off. But dusty softball fields attract a dubious sort of man, and they're stuck with us, one way or another. they don't have to be happy about it, and for your patience and tenacity, we salute and celebrate you. How many times did I yell, "move left" or "move right" or "two steps in" or "two steps back" at you? You don't remember because you're still in shock. Or still in your full-body cast. But the season's over now. You can stop your percaset and demerol prescription immediately. Put your earplugs in the trash. Dave Weitzberg Remember that guy born of the unnatural bond between the worlds of math and science? The guy that shouldn't be able to lift a bat? Should repel all things made of aluminum and leather like the south pole of a magnet repels the north? Did you know that he's a pilot? He's a winning hockey defensemen? That he's one of the hottest streak hitters on the Bombers? I mention Dave Weitzberg because, quite by accident several years ago, he became the epitome of why I love to coach this game. Weitzberg won't quit. Not when down five points with his center fouled out in the last seconds against the Lakers, nor when facing a dealer's Ace on the blackjack tables in Las Vegas, never. Dave just gets better. He just takes the dust and the crap and the fear and just swallows it dry and is ready for another round next week. Dave hit a buck ninety (.190) his first year. We thought that if we were tough on him, he'd quit. He didn't. He kept trying. Last year he hit .400 and he was selected as 1999's Most Improved Player. We made it hard on Dave. We thought he'd quit. I think he tried. but, in the end he came back and hit nearly .650 this year. dave wants to play shortstop. He dreams about starting the double play, taking the throw from center and gunning a Mauler down at home plate. Dave will keep trying. Someday he'll be the best shortstop in the LFL game. Trust me. Me well, after spending so much time getting all the extra statistics crap
i'd like to pass the torch next year. let someone else try this
captain
know that i enjoyed working with this team and everyone on it, regardless
and by the way, after your lovely daily grind, and before you tune in
the
bomb on.
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