"THEIR SWEET AUDRINA" by Goss Gem

"THEIR SWEET AUDRINA" by Goss Gem

STORY LAST UPDATED ON 22/01/2003

PROLOGUE

Papa always said I was special. I never believed him, though. Who would when all he could talk about was the first Audrina? Who would believe him when his eyes still sparkled whenever he even remotely thought of the first and best Audrina? Maybe he was to blame for who I am now, maybe not. One fact stands, though… he was the one who filled me with the jealousy and hate toward the perfect Audrina.
    Papa always made me feel like either I would be like his 'first' daughter or I would be nothing at all. Him and that rocking chair. What a combination to make a child deeply scarred for life. These thoughts still swirled in my head as I thought of that fateful day when I found out the truth. I wasn't his second best daughter after all. I was his first and precious Audrina. The second daughter behind Vera and all those deceitful lies. I nearly went mad when I found out the truth. All that jealousy and anger wasn't aimed at my 'sister' after all, it all went to ME! I hated me for ruining my own childhood! I hated me for making Papa love the other me instead of the present me!
    I still remember how I had run out in the pouring rain to prove that there was someone in the first Audrina's grave. I was out to prove that my papa was once again just trying to deceive me. How wrong I was! Arden was with me and I recall grieving with him. But Arden was a male… bad, bad, bad. I had hated all the male population, even the one I was married to and had sworn to be with through the good and the bad.
    There were only a certain number of lies a person could take, and I had had my share and more. I was so close to leaving all this behind and perhaps start a new beginning but when I was about to leave in the car Papa had just given me, Sylvia had to look out from the window and stare at me with those haunting eyes. The very same eyes that demanded me to stay and stay the rest of my life in the house that I dreaded. However, I wasn't strong enough to resist them and here I am, back where I started.

CHAPTER ONE

I was sitting on the attic window seat and staring at the window where I almost committed suicide all those years ago. I was back, the old and new Audrina combined into one mature woman. Even though the lies were forever a part of me, they had left their mark on me and I fully acknowledged that. I wasn't some weak female who would be huddled in bed, determined to be in denial for the rest of her life. Oh no, I would have my head uplifted and I would face all whom who defied me. The shock at all the lies Papa had webbed had slowly eased and I would never let anybody let me manipulate like that ever again, no matter if they were male OR female.
    "Hey, honey, did you have a good day?" Arden whispered in my ear as he sneaked up behind me and loosely snaked his tanned arm around my neck.
    "Yes, I had a great day. Sylvia and I went to the park and had a wonderful picnic." I smiled wearily. Oh, I felt like I was the one stringing along lies these days. Sometimes, I just wanted to scream with all the pressure of being the perfect picture of being a normal person! Would I ever be able to be myself?
    "That sounds like fun. Maybe I could join you next time," he said huskily before he kissed me on the forehead. Arden moved his arms until they were around my waist, and hugged me so tightly I almost had a hard time breathing. He was always touching me and hugging me in some way, as if he was proving to himself that I really existed and was in his life again. Arden moved his lips until they were nibbling my ears. "What do you say we go to bed earlier today? You look absolutely edible in that white dress. How I love you in white," my husband murmured as he trailed kisses down my neck.
    "No, it's too early…" I shifted in my seat, uncomfortable in this sort of situation. Arden smiled like he understood my dilemma and he stopped his kisses, trying to content himself with just holding me. Looking out the window, I made a quick decision. "Actually, it's not too early after all." I had to convince everybody that I was normal, not some troubled lady!
    "Great," Arden beamed as he got up and tugged at my hand. All the way to our bedroom, I beamed but the smile was fake, an illusion. My entire life was based on them.

Arden's leg was sprawled on top of mine. Moving them off of me, I got off the bed and put on a white robe. I was tying it together while I moved out the door. The stuffiness of the room was suffocating me.
    I glided to Sylvia's bedroom first to make sure that she had been safely put into bed. We had just recently hired a new nanny but none of them stayed very long. They were all afraid of differences. They were all afraid of Sylvia. Poor Mommy died to have my mentally handicapped sister but I loved Sylvia with all my heart nonetheless. Her beautiful face, her silky hair, her wonderful figure and innocence… such a pity her eyes were always so blank and empty. No one loved her, not even Papa or Arden. There was only me but I would make up for all the love she lost.
    She looked so pretty, so child-like even though she was in her teenage years that I couldn't resist walking over and giving her a kiss on the cheek. Afterwards, I took a Kleenex and softly wiped the drool that had managed to escape her mouth, careful as to not wake her up from her peaceful slumber. Still, her long delicate eyelashes fluttered awake as she tried focusing her eyes on me. "Aud-rin-a…"
    "Ssh, go back to sleep," I commanded, smoothing her flaming red hair back. My younger sister just smiled unpromisingly and snuggled into her bed. She fell asleep within minutes.
    Like a ghost, I continued wandering around. I felt haunted even as I trudged my way outside and towards the grave of 'Audrina', the fake one that didn't exist anymore. Her… or technically my headstone was still standing, still being tended by the help. It felt weird knowing that this was actually my grave. It was stranger yet that my death date was already engraved. The date glowed eerily in the moonlight and it was like since that day on the tombstone, my life hadn't mattered because I was dead. At least, that was what the headstone proclaimed to anybody who happened to trespass.
    I walked to its side and kneeled on the ground. Gently stroking the rock, I leaned closer and whispered to non-existent ears, "I'm not dead and I HAVE existed ever since I was raped. You, however, won't exist any longer. You're gonna be removed as soon as possible."

I was walking towards my sister's room to wake Sylvia up for breakfast, even though she had a nanny now. The nannies were Arden's idea and he said it would take some stress off me, but it wasn't like that at all. I had always treated Sylvia like she was my child, and now I had nothing else to do but to wander around the house.
    I was so preoccupied with my thoughts that I almost passed by Papa without noticing. Luckily, he did and he said an awkward, "Good morning." We never got along as we did before he told me the truth.
    Quickly saying, "Hello," I rushed past him. I still wasn't ready to confront him, even after three months since the incident.

"Mrs Lowe, maybe I should take care of Sylvia now. You must want to go shopping or something like that. I don't want to trouble you. After all, it's my job," Maria, the new nanny, stated apologetically.
    I just waved my hands in the air carelessly. "It's alright. Sylvia likes it more when I'm near her." Truthfully, I just didn't want Sylvia to get attached to someone who didn't even like her. The only reason Maria, or any of the previous nannies, went near her was because of the money we paid them.
    "Well then, what do you want me to do?"
    "You can change her bed sheets. She accidentally went to the bathroom on them again."
    "Okay then." And with that, she was gone and I was left alone with Sylvia.
    Oblivious to everything around her, my sister had continued playing with this month's new play thing: a yo-yo that lit up whenever the string was pulled. "So, sweetie, what do you want to do with your sister today?"
    "P - park."
    "Anything you want." I was worried that her social life was being neglected, but I was assured by the fact that she always wanted to go to the park. There were always other people around there.
    Strolling towards the closet, I got out two fall jackets, one for me and one for Sylvia. I walked back to the couch where Sylvia sat, and held the jacket out as she managed to put her arms into the holes. I had spent days agonising and teaching her simple acts like that one.
    Putting my arms around her shoulders, I guided her to the car and strapped her in with the seat belt.

"Pop - Popsicle! S - Sylvia want Popsicle!"
    I couldn't deny her anything. After all, when Vera had planned to kill me, she was the one who saved me. Nodding, I agreed quickly to my sister's demand. The ice-cream cart was near the bench where we sat, so I could still keep an eye on her while I bought the frozen treat. I held my purse open as I walked up to the cart. "How much for a rainbow Popsicle?" Observing Sylvia out of the corner of my eye, I looked at the price list.
    "For a pretty lady like you, it's on the house."
    He had my full attention. I smiled shyly and wondered if he had purposely ignored my wedding ring. Even if I weren't married, he wouldn't have attracted me. I had trouble liking people who were males. Stuttering, I didn't know what to do. "N - no, I should pay."
    "Nah, tell you what. Go out with me for dinner and it's even."
    I held out the hand wearing my wedding ring. "Sorry."
    He shrugged. "So?"
    Helplessly, I just blinked. Where were people's morals these days? "Here's three dollars. You can keep the change," I snapped.
    He shrugged again, unaffected, and accepted the money in return for the Popsicle.
    Wondering how many times he had pulled that stunt on a customer, I turned around. The bench was empty and Sylvia was nowhere in sight. "SYLVIA?" I swirled around to face the ice-cream cart again. "Did you see where that girl went? The girl that was just sitting over there?" I asked, pointing at the bench.
    "Nope, sorry. I'm sure she's fine, though. She probably just went to the bathroom or something."
    Little did he know that my sister could barely dress herself, let alone go find the bathroom by herself.

CHAPTER TWO

I swiftly stumbled away from the disgruntled ice-cream man and wandered back to the bench, my thoughts in a whirlwind of possibilities. Where had Sylvia gone? Had she been kidnapped? Was she being raped at this very second? There were so many possibilities and so few good outcomes. The heart in my chest was thumping in a mess of worry and distress. After a few seconds of pointless concentration, I took a few deep breaths. It helped a little bit and I was able to think a bit more rationally.
    Why was I even standing near the bench? It wasn't like my sister was hiding beneath it. Cupping my fingers around my mouth, I called out loudly, "Sylvia? Where are you? If you're playing hide-and-seek, please come out! I give up." Nothing answered me back but a few sympathetic glances from passing strangers.
    I tried to look at the bright side of things even as my eyes scanned the small park. She couldn't have got very far. Maybe, she DID go to the bathroom like the man had suggested. Scrambling towards the toilet physicality, I shamelessly called out my sister's name the entire way. I finally emerged into the bathroom doorway, breathless. Since I was making a thorough search, I even glanced underneath stalls. My embarrassment was not going to get in the way of finding Sylvia. Nonetheless, forgetting my shyness didn't help. Little by little, my hope was disappearing while I ignored the shocked gasps of the women. Still, my helpless little sister was not to be found.
    I blinked my eyes quickly. Once, I had heard that the first hour was the most important time if a child was kidnapped. Within that limited time frame, the abductor could have safely hidden the child. Not wanting to let these precious moments of time pass by, I ran out the bathroom and started out to search the grounds of the park.
    Honestly, I tried my best to find her. I asked every person who happened to pass by if they had seen an adolescent girl with red hair. They would say they had seen a lot of girls fitting that description. I would tell them that Sylvia was wearing a knee-high flower skirt and a matching blouse with a blue overcoat. They would say that they didn't notice a person's attire that much. Oh! It was so frustrating when it was like these clueless strangers were purposely trying to waste time and hinder my search!
    After twenty-five minutes of anxiously glancing at my watch with no results whatsoever, I decided to include the police. Finding the phone and dialling the number was simple enough. The ringing tone wasn't as easy to handle. It was like the ringing was the marking point to admitting that I had actually lost Sylvia.
    When a feminine voice finally answered the phone, I was struggling to hold back the tears. "Hello. You have reached the emergency offices of 9-1-1. How may I help you?"
    I was obsessed with time keeping. Why was she wasting the remaining hour telling me things I already knew? "Please help me! I lost my sister. I'm at a pay phone at Willwort Park. It says here that the pay phone number is…" I squinted. "297-9302."
    Typing could be heard in the background. "Okay, ma'am. Please calm down." The operator obviously heard the nervousness in my words. "How long has your sister been officially missing?"
    "Over half an hour." My voice came out as a squeak.
    The operator on the other side of the phone sighed regretfully. "Listen, ma'am, I'm sorry but we can't do anything right now. You must understand that our police force is very busy and must not be bothered with false claims. Someone must be missing for at least twenty-four hours before the cops can get involved. These precautions must be taken in case the child is at a friend's house or something similar to that."
    "You don't understand! Sylvia has a… mental problem. She doesn't understand simple things like not taking candy from a stranger. If you don't help me now, she could be murdered!"
    "I… I really am sorry but these regulations have to be followed. I understand your distress but-"
    "But nothing! My sister is missing and yet, you're not helping me."
    "Ma'am, I-" Refusing to listen to reason, I angrily slammed the phone back into its holder. I took a deep breath and tried to calm my fried nerves. I got some change out of my purse and called another person.
    "Hello? Arden? It's Sylvia! She's gone missing. I'm at a park and she was there one minute and then she was gone. I was just buying her ice cream. I checked the bathroom; I checked the whole goddamn park! Oh, Arden, Sylvia's gone! I asked everybody but they wouldn't help and…" I stopped my babbling because the sobs that I had held in had found their way out.
    "I'll be right there, honey. Meet me at the, um… parking lot. I'll be right there. Don't worry, Audrina, we'll find her. I'm going to let you go now. Alright?" He hung up on me and I reluctantly put the phone back, not wanting to stray from the comforting sound of a caring human being.
    I stepped out and as I raced towards the edge of the parking lot, I looked like a wild child. My multi-coloured hair was a mess and my make-up was completely ruined. If I could have been chewing at my fingernails while running, I would have. Anything was a good distraction.
    By the time I reached my destination, I was short of breath. Even though it was a short jog, I had pushed my body to the point of exhaustion. The adrenaline was quickly abandoning me and I was left with nothing but the rush of passing vehicles.
    Maybe it was because I was looking at my watch every few seconds, but time seemed to slow down. I couldn't hear the twinkling laughter of a passing couple, absolutely nothing. All my concentration, my whole being, was too busy studying the cars. When was Arden's sedan going to arrive?
    Unexpectedly, I shivered. "Au-au-drina?" I turned around. I couldn't help smiling uncontrollably at the sight of my sister.
    "Oh my God! Sylvia! You're okay!" I stretched out my arms and enveloped her in such a tight hug that she started struggling and pushing me away.
    A distracting chuckle disrupted my wonderful reunion. I pulled away from my sister and looked at the tall, handsome stranger standing in front of me. Yes, I know that the description 'tall handsome stranger' was much laughed at in our society but I couldn't think of a better way to describe him.
    "Hello, and you are?" I asked bluntly. Was he always there?
    "I'm Michael, pleased to meet you." He extended his hand but I reasoned to myself that I should just ignore it.
    Michael took the hand back and awkwardly brushed back a wisp of hair. He decided to continue introducing himself. "I found her wandering around," he pointed at Sylvia, "so I decided to ask her if she was lost. When she began stuttering and having trouble answering, I decided to take her to the police station. That's where you came in." He gave me a charming smile. My suspicions still weren't satisfied.
    "You were nice enough to ask if an adolescent was lost," I stated wryly. "And when this beautiful, just-blossomed girl appeared mentally unstable, you decided to drive her to the 'police station'."
    "Look, lady! I was just doing an act that any decent citizen would do and I'd appreciate if you didn't turn it into something ugly. I don't take it too nicely when somebody thinks that I would molest an underage child. It's bad enough that I don't even get a thanks, but jeez!" He turned to leave but I stopped him.
    "S - sorry. I've been through a lot today…" I smiled warily.
    Michael turned his head around, snickered and started walking away again.
    "Audrina! It looks like you've found Sylvia after all! That's great," an enthusiastic voice exclaimed as a car door slammed shut.
    "I didn't, he did." I explained quietly to Arden while I pointed at the stranger's back.
    My husband, being the friendly guy that he was, ran up to catch up with Michael. Within minutes, he had his arms around his shoulders and was walking back towards Sylvia and I like they had been best friends for ages.
    A quizzical expression was aimed at me. After a short pause, my husband spoke. "Honey, he's agreed to come over for dinner today as a thanks. Isn't that great?"
    Michael gave me a glance that said how-did-someone-like-you-end-up-with-someone-like-him. I ignored the look and answered Arden's question instead. "That sounds great, just great."
    He continued to try joking to ease the tension in the air. "I hope that isn't sarcasm."
    I was surprised to find myself telling the truth. "No." Why ponder over something so stupid? Sylvia was back with me and that was all that mattered.

I wish we didn't have any hired help. That way, I would be washing dishes instead of pretending to pay attention to Michael and Arden discussing the last football game. Sylvia was playing with that light-up yo-yo. The only one that was bored to death was I. I was almost jealous of Papa. He had incidentally been called to work another couple of hours and couldn't make it home for dinner.
    "Ya, I know! What an idiot. Even a two-year could have caught that pass. I mean they get paid like…"
    "I think the IGL stock would be a good investment."
    Blank eyes stared back at me. "Huh?" they asked unanimously.
    I laughed self-consciously at their puzzled faces. "Just a random thought." I had always been interested in stocks, and coincidentally both were involved in them. Michael was a major stockholder and my husband was a stock advisor. I had figured this out during dinner.
    Arden finally shook his head with a slight shrug of his shoulder. He grinned. "Maybe you should work with me and your dad, Audrina. You know a lot about this stuff, maybe even more."
    I had to make things work between the two of us so I mustn't rub his ego the wrong way. "More than you? Never."
    He chuckled and moved to where I was sitting and wrapped an arm possessively around my shoulder.
    "IGL, hmm? Interesting thought. They've just gone under a new advertising campaign. Could be worth the look," remarked Michael.
    I glanced over at him and genuinely smiled towards him for the first time. "Definitely worth the look."
    He raised his eyebrows and turned to face Arden. "Now I know what you found so attracting about your wife. She's a beautiful business woman with an equally beautiful smile."
    I could tell that he was trying to smooth things over from the previous incident where I accused him of wanting to molest Sylvia. However, charming men were the most dangerous.
    "True, but that wasn't what attracted me to her," Arden smiled with an intimate smile aimed at me. "What attracted me to her was the fact that, well… Audrina was just being Audrina. I don't know how to explain."
    "You don't need to. I used to feel the exact same towards someone," Michael stated with a hint of irony. It seemed the tall handsome stranger had a past, too.

CHAPTER THREE

Arden and I stared at him pointedly before politely looking away. Michael looked stern and serious in the light while he ignored our glances. I was almost dying of curiosity, but I couldn't ask because I wasn't a direct sort of person.
    We all sat there awkwardly while we watched Sylvia play with the yo-yo. I wanted there to be an adult version of a light up yo-yo so much. I would be able to play with it and just ignore everything else. Sylvia was lucky in some areas. She would never have to concern herself with complicated issues like interaction with other adults.
    We didn't discuss much after that. All we talked about was the weather and such. Nothing like a comment out of the ordinary to ruin a conversation! I was definitely glad when Michael announced he had to go. Not that I minded his presence as much as he made me uncomfortable. There was just something familiar about him that I couldn't pinpoint.
    "We should do this again sometime," Arden smiled graciously while standing at the door. He would have opened the door for Michael, but it would seem like we were in a hurry to get rid of our guest.
    "Maybe next week on Saturday. You can come to my house for dinner this time."
    My husband nodded eagerly. "That sounds great."
    He was about to go get a pen and a piece of paper when Michael reached into his wallet and pulled out his business card. He handed it to Arden. "My office number is on there. I'm there most of time but if I'm not, call again later. Sorry for the inconvenience, but my secretary just recently quit on me."
    Arden nodded, and turned on the porch light for him to walk down the driveway. After Michael was out of hearing distance, my husband faced me. "You don't like him." It was a comment, not a question.
    I carelessly shrugged, not caring to explaining. "I guess I don't."
    "But why? He seems like a decent enough guy."
    "I don't know. Maybe I'll like Michael in time."
    He shook his head in agreement. "Damn right you should like him. I don't see anything about him you shouldn't like. He DID help you find Sylvia after all. It's like he's the hero of the day." Arden chuckled at that.
    "If you know for sure he wasn't just lying to us, I guess he is," I stated unpromisingly, walking back to where Sylvia sat.
    "You should learn to trust people more." Did Arden want me to change more? Wasn't I good enough for him as I was?
    He must have sensed my mood when I didn't reply back. He grabbed my arms before I had a chance to get back to my sister. "Come to bed now. Let Maria handle it. She complained to me today that you won't let her do her job." Arden was saying it like I was the one who suggested we hire her in the first place! But then again, it was considerate of him.
    If I'm ever going to achieve a real relationship with Arden, we must compromise, I reminded myself severely. "Sure, you go to the bedroom first. I'll be there after I tuck Sylvia into bed." I noticed the strange look he was aiming at me. "It's a tradition. I have to." He accepted the answer and walked up the stairs.
    Continuing to stroll towards my rambling sister, I happened to pass a mirror hanging on the wall. A beautiful array of natural hair colours surrounded a haunted face. The face looked more pretty than beautiful. The fact that I looked triumphant and my eyes twinkled eerily didn't make a difference. Not wanting to be one of those women who spent countless hours admiring themselves in the mirror, I ran the rest of the way until I saw Sylvia. When I reached a certain distance, I noticed that Maria was already standing guard over my sister. She had taken over while I was away and was now doing the job like she should.
    I stood there briefly at the doorway, wondering how to take over the situation without being overly rude. "Sylvia!" I called out after a moment.
    Her angelic head searched around the room, her expression distressed until she saw me. "Au-au-drina!" she stuttered childishly. I stretched out my arms and she stumbled awkwardly into them.
    "Aw, you must be tired out." I smoothed out her hair as I looked at Maria. "Mind if I take her to bed?"
    Sylvia's governess must have been afraid she would get fired. I wasn't at all helpful since I was constantly hanging over her ward. Maria's face showed absolute disapproval but what could she do? I was the boss's beloved wife. "Go ahead," she replied hesitantly.

The sunlight streaming into my eyes almost blinded me. I yawned and stretched my arms until they were covering the bright light. I guess Arden had opened the curtains before he went to work. Since I was already awake, I might as well get up.
    Trudging over to the window, I looked through it and spotted the wide-open fields and the dangerously majestic woods. I did a double glance at the next thing I saw on the green grass. There, baby-sitting Audrina was Maria.
    Sylvia shouldn't be up at this hour! She needs her sleep. Girls especially need their slumber around these times, I thought while looking at the clock that reminded me that it was only 8:30am. I was outraged that some outsider would disrupt our close relationship like this. I stamped my feet hard against the carpet while I proceeded to the suite's bathroom to calm myself down.
    After I had washed my face, I glanced at the mirror again. A normal sister my age shouldn't be so possessive of her sibling, so why was I? Was it because my sister wasn't exactly right in the head? I was a strong believer in the fact that everyone should be treated equally, no matter their circumstances, yet I was I behaving like this? Maybe I was a hypocrite.
    I sighed and gently brushed my tangled mass of hair before walking out into the master bedroom. It was time to preoccupy my spare time. It was time to let Sylvia associate with other people.
    After making my way to the nearest bedside table, I flipped through the pages of an address book before lifting the bulky phone and dialling some numbers. It rang a couple of times until it was answered. "Hello. Is that you, Diane? You sound so different on the phone!"
    Even though I didn't have any real friends, I had quite a few acquaintances from high school. A couple of phone calls later, I had managed to get involved in an organization. I was now officially a member of a reading club. They met every Thursday. It wouldn't totally fill all my spare time but it was a start. Maybe I could get a job. But who would hire me? I was a twenty-something woman with no skills or work experience. I hoped the saying, 'when there's a will, there's a way,' was right.

The next morning was a Sunday so both Papa and Arden were home from work. It was their day off. Our family wasn't an overly religious one so we rarely, if ever, went to church. Arden had just finished with the local newspaper, and I quickly snatched it up to read the ads section for any available jobs that fitted what I was looking for. I wanted flexible hours that I wouldn't shame myself doing. (A.K.A. no fast food restaurants).
    Papa gave me a quizzical look and peered over the newspaper. "Ads, Audrina?"
    I shrugged my slim shoulders and answered, while not bothering to look my father in the eye. "Yes, I want a job. Since Maria's looking after Sylvia, I have a lot of available time on my hands."
    Arden's eyes brightened at that. I had finally given up Sylvia… just what he wanted.
    "Then look no farther. You can work with Arden and me. It'll be great. The whole family will be working together."
    "Except Sylvia," I reminded him. Papa was always trying to ignore the fact that my younger sister was alive, too. It used to bother me but I was beginning to get used to it.
    He put his hands together and said solemnly, "Yes, except Sylvia." Papa instantly cheered up at the thought of me working with them. "Well, what do you say? You can get hired right away."
    It was a great job, advising people on stocks, but working with family just didn't seem right. The thought of having my husband and my father watching my every move made me shudder. "No, that's okay. I'm hoping to find an occupation not involving stocks."
    "What's so bad about investments?"
    "Nothing," I stated cautiously. I was now treading on hazardous waters. One wrong word and I would be insulting him.
    Arden instantly came to my rescue. "Oh well, maybe women shouldn't be working with bonds. Perhaps she could work at a jewellery store. A sales clerk at some clothing place sounds good, too. All you'd have to do is tell some person they look good in the outfit they're trying on. Sounds easy enough." Even though his comment was downright sexist, I didn't argue. It appealed to Papa and I didn't want to get into a fight.
    "We'll see." Papa didn't debate the issue as he ended the conversation. He cut up another piece of a waffle and put it into his mouth.
    While Papa seemed to be losing interest in my newfound courage of finding a career, Arden appeared to be encouraging me. "Find anything?" he'd say every few minutes so he could interrupt the silence that irritated him.
    "No, not yet."
    "Don't worry, you will soon."
    I would just smile and continue scanning the ads, wondering what exactly it was that I was looking for.

CHAPTER FOUR

The week sped by quite fast, faster than I thought it would. There even seemed to be moments where thoughts of Sylvia didn't even cross my mind. Once I was determined to let my little sister have some freedom from her overbearing sibling, I intended to achieve it. Every time I continuously read the ads section from newspapers it was for her. Every time I walked up to a reception desk to ask about a job, it was for her. Every time I anxiously waited by the phone waiting the return call, it was for her. I wonder if she would ever appreciate my efforts or whether she would think everything came naturally, easily… something that it didn't always.
Nowadays, I observe my surroundings with a new approach. I had taken my home for granted these past few years. The beautiful, grand furniture that many guests remarked upon didn't just grow there. Papa earned them. He may have tricked innocent clients by telling them falsehoods, but those times had hopefully passed and we were now earning our money decently.
It was surprising what people did for cash. They'd steal, lie, kill, go against every amendment in the bible for it. The only thing they wouldn't do for money was to sell their soul, and the only reason they didn't do this horrendous act was the fact that they didn't know how to. People did all these things but I didn't have to do any for what I had now. I was practically born with a silver spoon in my mouth.
I had never thought of this, not even when I happened to pass by the homeless on the filthy streets. I had only taken note of this when I had to go out and look for a job myself. Maybe I wasn't only doing this for Sylvia… maybe.

"Arden, are you ready yet? We're late! We told Michael we'd be there by five." I glanced up the stairway with a sigh. Wasn't it supposed the other way around? Wasn't it supposed to be the man inquiring about the female? I guess vanity had a way with both genders.
A strangled voice found its way down the steps and into my ears. "Just a sec."
"Just a sec" meant fifteen minutes in this house. I took my time getting the overcoats from the closet. I had mine on and was comfortably standing near the main doors when a flushed Arden rushed down the stairs, straightening his tie. One look at him and I laughed. "Arden, it's a casual dinner, no need for business suits."
"In that case…" My husband ripped the stiff tie off and threw it on the ground without looking. "Shall we go now, m'lady?" he asked formally as he held out his arms so we could link arms.
Quirking up an eyebrow, I laughed again and gently guided my arms into his. I didn't know about later but it was certainly beginning to look like a nice night.
"You look really pretty tonight," he complimented.
Brushing my hair out of my eyes with the other hand, I grinned. "I was wearing the same thing when you got home from work."
He bent over and kissed my on the forehead. My smile had gone stiff before he remarked, "Let's just say you're pretty every second of every day. I love you, Audrina."
"Love you, too."
We glided outside, towards the garage. He opened the car door for me, like any gentleman should. "Thhhhhhhank you." I lengthened the "th" playfully.
Arden did the same. "Youuuuu're welcome."
The drive to Michael's house was very relaxing. We may not have had words to preoccupy every moment yet there wasn't one awkward silence. Maybe in our "old" age, we were extremely used to each other. I understood why so many people married their child sweethearts. Sometimes change wasn't always a good thing.
When we pulled up onto a driveway, I turned a questioning expression at my husband. "Are you sure this is his house? It seems… excessively big."
Arden got out his wallet from his pocket and took out a slip of paper. He turned from the sheet to the house. "This is the right address. I guess I could have misheard a couple of letters," he stated cautiously.
In front of us was one of the biggest houses I'd ever seen in Virginia. It was as big as Washington's White House and twice as beautiful. The yard was so bountiful that the house itself didn't appear all that large from this distance. There was a security fence surrounding the grounds and there was even a fish spurting out water into an alluringly ancient fountain. And I thought our mansion impressed Michael! How wrong I was! All I could do was gape at this majestic wonder. Doesn't he get lonely living in something so big and pretty? I wondered.
"Only one way to figure out if we have the right address." Arden got out of the car and hesitantly pressed the intercom. Unfortunately, I couldn't read lips so I was stuck with their silent conversation. After a minute or so, a smiling Arden slid back into the driver's seat. "Yep, this is his house."
As Arden shifted gears, the intimidating gates opened and we started the long drive to the main doors of the mansion. "What does he do for a living? It's gorgeous." I gawked at the wide-open fields. It was like Michael had his own park! I imagined Sylvia growing up here. "Does Michael have any kids? They must be awfully spoiled."
Arden chuckled and admired the surroundings himself. "What's with all the sudden questions, Audrina?" After a pause to check the side mirror, he answered. "Didn't he say he was some bank manager? To tell you the truth, I don't really know him all that well. During his dinner with us last week, he didn't talk all that much about himself."
"Do you think he's married?"
"Why? Are you going to play matchmaker?"
I smiled and shrugged my shoulders mysteriously. "Maybe."
We stopped at a wide paved circle that led to the main doors. Two servants were already waiting for us, and they opened the car doors for us. I gave Arden an amused look. Michael's servants' wing must be occupied to the brim so that the servants had to sleep out in the halls. In our home, that section of the house was vacant except two rooms. Only a year ago, the servants' wing was completely empty. My mother-in-law, Billie, or my Aunt Ellsbeth would always take care of the house. When they died, no one wanted to take over their chores. It was hard hiring the nanny and the live-in cook/gardener/maid. It was only two people, and we were struggling as it was trying to renovate the old mansion AND pay salaries.
After the two servants closed the car doors, they led us up the many stairs until we reached the decorated doors. It wasn't Michael who greeted us. It was a blonde woman who appeared to be in her late twenties, sparkling with diamonds and gold alike. She was slim and you could barely tell she was wearing make-up. Her hair was full of body, and it curved around her face so it complimented her charming blue eyes. The woman wore a black evening gown that hugged her abundant curves. She stretched out her arms to greet us as we climbed the last couple of stairs, while the hired help discreetly left us.
"Hello, you must be Arden and Audrina. Even your names sound like they'd make the perfect couple! Michael has told me so much about you two." Her cool eyes lingered on me while they swept my body up and down. Apparently, I was insignificant so she turned to Arden instead. "I'm Racheile, Michael's wife."
"Nice to meet you," I smiled, quite daunted by the female who seemed so worldly.
Racheile paid little attention to my greeting. Regardless, she made full eye contact with Arden when he said his hellos. My husband was glowing from all the consideration she was radiating to him.
I was used to being the third wheel, but I looked upon her with distaste. It was like it was Vera all over again. I certainly hoped this wasn't the case.
Racheile giggled for no apparent reason as she gestured inside. "Oh, where are my manners, making you two stand out here in the cold? Michael's inside the library, waiting."
She and Arden coupled together, strolling onwards, leaving me behind to follow. I had little time to envy the interior design while I glared at Racheile's dress that seemed custom made for her. Doesn't she know that it's a casual dinner? I thought to myself. Or did she only tell Michael to give us the wrong information so she could out-shine me that much more? How many Veras and Vera-wannabes could there be before they were the death of me?
The dinner, as expected, was a huge hit. There were many delectable dishes that must have been prepared by some of the country's best chefs. Over the dining table that seemed too long was a low-hanging chandelier that draped itself above the table and the light bounced off of its glass and it made everything glow in a royal way. However, it was like it was reflected upon Racheile the most, for she was the most brilliant hostess… or so Arden thought. I looked at her with jealousy, and Michael just scrutinised his beautiful wife with plain bitterness.

CHAPTER FIVE

When we got home, the envy and aggravation that had built up during dinner was beginning to release its energy. As soon as we entered our doors, I turned towards Arden, not bothering to check if anybody was watching. "I can't believe you and Racheile were so engrossed in each other! It was so embarrassing that my own husband didn't pay any attention to me!"
    "Why are you so mad at me? I just happened to talk to the hostess and suddenly I'm the big bad guy?"
    He said it so calmly and innocently that it infuriated me. How dare he deny it! My eyes grew large at him, and I stomped all the way upstairs. Arden followed obediently, like some puppy. Why wasn't he telling me to stop and trying to make things all better? Why did I vow that we would stay together no matter what… why?
    I swished my head around, my hair sounding outraged as it settled unhappily, covering my bitter eyes. "This was just like how it was with Vera. When I'm not looking, you're gonna leave me for Racheile. And then I'll go crawling back to you and you know it!" I screamed, half-sobbing out the words.
    "No it's not, Audrina. I always tell you that I love you, don't I?" he asked. Arden made puppy eyes at me. It was an attempt to make me feel guilty.
    I completely ignored what he said. "You left me for Vera because I wouldn't practice our… marital relations, but now I am and it hasn't made a difference at all! And you know what, Arden Nelson Lowe? This time I won't forgive you so easily."
    Scared at how unstable I had become, my husband slowly climbed the stairs towards me. "I admit I'm a bit attracted to Michael's spouse, but I bet you like other men, too. Audrina, stop doing this to us. Stop doing this to our relationship. Stop suspecting me of cheating on you because I won't."
    "Ya, you didn't commit adultery with my sister either, right?"
    He faltered, because what I had said was the complete truth. "Let the past rest, love. Let bygones be bygones, as they say," Arden whispered softly.
    My chest quivered, and I felt numb. He was right. Why was I thinking so much of the past? The present was golden and here I was, starting a fight with my husband because he had spent more attention on a woman than he should have. Relationships were based on trust and I wasn't respecting my spouse.
    I collapsed on the stairs, a hand wiping away the distraught tears. "Oh Arden, I want to trust you. I really do but I can't! No matter how hard I try, I keep thinking of all the men that have betrayed me. I don't know if I'll ever get over it. Why don't you just leave me for Racheile right now and save us from the heartbreak we'll feel later?"
    Arden quickly knelt in front of me and held my frigidly cold hands in a firm grasp. "There you go again. No matter what, I will always love you. I promise." He gently brushed away the strangled locks of hair that had persisted in staying in front of my bloodshot eyes.
    For once, I hugged my husband. "Pinkie-swear?"
    "Yep, I swear on my mother's grave."
    I put my fingers on his soft lips. "You don't have to go that far."
    His eyes brightened, as if he magically had an amazing idea. "Audrina, why don't we have kids? I love them and you're amazing with Sylvia. It'll be wonderful."
    I had a sudden impulse to bury my head into his warm shoulders. I resisted at first, but I slowly laid my head in them. They made me feel safe and secure. Nodding to his inquiry, I wondered if he got my answer. After a moment or two, I no longer cared because my mind was slowly drifted into dreamland. There were no worries, no anxieties… too bad my life wasn't like that 24/7.

When I woke up, I thought I was still dreaming. In front of me was a platter with breakfast in bed. I bared my big grin to an already dressed Arden who was standing by the bed. One washcloth was lazily lying on his arm, and he appeared to be the perfect waiter.
    After glancing at the pancakes that looked like they had gone to hell and back, I beamed up at my husband. "Don't you have to work?" After the words had come out of my mouth, I instantly regretted them. It seemed I was always ruining the perfect moment with my questions.
    "Later," he mumbled while he bent over and bestowed a kiss on my eyebrow.
    I nodded gratefully, and leaned back on the headstand, closing my mystified eyes and thinking to myself, I should never have doubted Arden. He's changed.
    He coughed self-consciously, and I looked at him. "You know. The sooner you get finished with breakfast, the sooner we can get to our goal."
    "Goal? We have a goal?"
    Arden sat down on the edge of the bed and wrapped an arm around me. "You know. The thing we discussed yesterday? The baby?"
    Immediately uncomfortable, I fidgeted around and decided to concentrate on the pancakes instead. It was much more discerning when we were talking about it like this in broad daylight. "Ya, I remember now." Taking the fork and knife, I cut the maple syrup-covered pancakes into small pieces, willing myself to take as much time as humanly possible. In a way, I was hoping Arden would get exasperated with me and go off to work or something.
    Arden didn't do it according to my plan. Not that I should have thought it would turn out like that. Men never did what I expected them to. He just simply took the fork and knife and fed me. Making it seem romantic, my husband finished the job swiftly. Arden then proceeded to lean in and slowly lick the maple syrup off my mouth. The rest of his actions spoke for themselves.

Yawning, my arms stretched, and I incidentally felt the space beside me. It was empty. Smiling contentedly anyhow, I was reluctant to sit up. I scratched my head while stretching again. Something seemed out of place. Wasn't I supposed to go somewhere? Curling up on one side, I closed my sleepy eyes. My eyelids flashed open while I suddenly remembered. I HAD AN INTERVIEW WITH A POSSIBLE EMPLOYER! My head swerved to the clock on the wall. Holy cripes! I had half an hour to get there. Trying to save the remaining precious moments, I haughtily threw the comforting blanket off of me and raced to the bathroom, skipping a shower. I brushed my teeth, hopping around as I managed to put on my underwear and clothes. Late, late, late. I was going to be late! What kind of impression would that make? I wanted the job of being a secretary to a bank manager, yet I didn't even know what gender my possible boss was. I had got the appointment through the receptionist.
    Because I was in such a mad rush, I somehow hit my ankle on the doorway on my way out of the room. I cursed out loud and raced to the garage. Damn, damn, damn, I thought. Now, normally I was one of those people on the road drivers had to change lanes on cause they were so slow. Today was not the case.
    "Get out of my way," I practically screamed to the unknowing driver. Luckily, there were few red lights. God save us all if there were a lot of them. I was THAT determined to get this job. It wasn't uncommon, but whoever made the ad in the paper about it made it strangely tempting. I had cared little about the other occupations, but I had almost memorised the ad for this one.
    Want a fabulous job that your friends will envy you for? Well… look somewhere else because all we offer are maternity leaves, promotions, dedicated staff, flexible hours, work compensation and much more. Looking for a secretary for a bank manager. Call 937-2872 now! the newspaper had said.
    By the time I parked my vehicle, I had violated a million and one driving regulations. Fortunately for me, the police were all busy at a drug bust, or whatever required their attention more. Briskly locking the car doors, I pushed my purse higher on my shoulders and ran inside the building. I was at a quick walk until I reached the receptionist. "Good morning. My name's Audrina Lowe and I made an appointment earlier this week?" I let out in one breath.
    "Oh yes, you. You're late," she said. The receptionist's voice sounded happy and young; not what her appearance was. The woman had large eyeglasses that had strings attached to the sides. They would have looked decent, except she was wearing them like it was a necklace. Her greying hair was cut shorter than I would have preferred. Even her eyes disagreed with her vocal cords. They were a dull brown and bird-like. "The other potential secretaries have already had their interviews. Please sit down in those chairs over there and Mr Anilson will be with you right away."
    I obeyed her. What a coincidence! Isn't Anilson Michael's last name? was the first thought that came to mind. Of course, I got distressed. I hope it isn't the same Anilson. It would be dreadful if I had to be an employer of a fellow family friend.
    The bank manager's door opened, and time slowed down. I spotted familiar dishevelled brown hair, the same dark blue eyes, the familiar chiselled good looks. "Michael," I choked out, getting off the chair.
    Not noticing the receptionist's upraised eyebrow, I walked up to him and stretched out my arms in a greeting. "Isn't it a coincidence that I'm here to get interviewed by you?"
    He shook my hand heartily and gave me a charming grin. It was strange seeing him smile after yesterday. Maybe it was just his wife Racheile making him frown all the time. I didn't understand his predicament since Racheile was the perfect trophy wife. "Nah, that's okay. You're automatically hired." He didn't appear embarrassed at our situation at all.

CHAPTER SIX

When I told Arden about it, he was somewhat less ecstatic that I thought he would be. "You're working as a secretary for Michael?"
    "Yes."
    "Oh, I see."
    Then we discussed other things. He offered me no congratulations or joyous words. There was no other interpretation for his actions except that he didn't like my occupation, not even a little bit. I even wondered if he was jealous of Michael and I like I was envious of him and Racheile.
    We were talking about whether we should go out to dinner when a dressed-up papa walked in. "Audrina, Arden, don't expect me for supper. I'm going out with Clarria."
    "Clarria?"
    Papa straightened his tie and moved closer to a mirror to inspect if his wrinkles had got any worse than last time. "Yes, I met her while I was at a barbershop."
    I put on a big smile, something that had got perfected over time. "That's swell. I do hope that your date turns out well."
    He turned around to face me. "Is there a grey hair? 'Cause I swear, I saw one and I was about to pick it out when I didn't see it anymore."
    "Papa?"
    "Oh yes. It's not a date. We're just meeting for dinner." Distracted, he moved into another room with a better mirror. I could imagine his murmurings about how he hated aging.
    Arden got up and gazed out the window, bored with the scenery. "What do you think Clarria looks like?"
    "A beautiful middle-aged lady with short curly hair. She'll always complement Papa, and they'll figure out what each other are wearing before every party. Clarria will need glasses but she won't wear them simply because they make her look like a librarian."
    My husband laughed at me. "I asked for her appearances, not her life story." I aimed the famous look that all women had at Arden. Deciding to do the smart thing, he continued on with the game I started.
    Coughing nervously, he waved his hands in the air and said, "Well, I think that she's some ancient woman who will have a crane and she WANTS to wear her glasses because they cover her hideous age spots. She will have already married five rich men in the days when she still looked like the girl who was voted 'most beautiful' in her high school. Each of her husbands has 'mysteriously' died, each leaving her their fortunes of zillions and millions of dollars. Alas, her days of man hunting are over, and she only wants to settle down. Unfortunately, your father is playing the same role and is only dating her to get access to her zillions and millions of dollars." Arden looked shocked at what kind of story he had just thought up out of nowhere.
    I laid my index finger on my cheek. "Now, that is what I called overdone."
    Nonetheless, we were both wrong. We were introduced to Clarria as soon as we got home from dinner. We were strolling in the front doors, tired, when Papa's voice called out to us. "Arden, Audrina, come into the living room for a second. I want you two to meet my future wife."
    I gaped at Arden, horrified. How could you possibly get married after only one date? No matter how much chemistry the two had, this sort of thing didn't happen in the twentieth century. Arden took hold of my hands and we tried to support each other as we started walking to where the two people sat. I was numb, my mind thinking of all the reasons to why he or Clarria would want to get married so early in the relationship. I didn't want to think about the real motive anymore when I saw what Clarria looked like.
    "Damian! You didn't tell me how beautiful your daughter is!" the lady stated without a touch of horror in her expression. How ironic; it was almost like she was complimenting herself. In front of me was a female that was so identical to what I looked like it was as if we were long-lost twins.
    My papa glanced at his fiancée with adoration. "Yes, but your beauty will never be matched."
    Clarria faced Papa. "Unless it's compared to you, my heart." And then in an afterthought, "or your daughter's."
    Frozen, I was still thinking the inescapable; how akin my future stepmother and I appeared. What appeared stranger was the fact that she didn't seem to take notice of it! Had my papa already shown her pictures of me, or were her manners too impeccable to make a comment on it? I wanted to puke with absolute abandonment. It would have helped if Clarria was middle-aged but she was only at the most about six years older than me. Finally, Arden took command for the both of us and tugged at my hand because all I could do was keep my piercing eyes on her.
    My spouse managed in a strangled tone, "Congratulations. We're both tired so we're going to our room now." He had to practically pull me out of my trance.
    Stumbling along the stairs, Arden ushered me up, hissing, "What has got into your father? This is insane! This is wrong in every single way!" I remained silent. "Why are you quiet? Aren't you as outraged as me? Don't you care at all?"
    How could I help but care? He was my papa and Clarria was my future stepmother! I was concerned to the extent of wanting to spit on the two lovebirds' faces! They were so oblivious to everything but each other that they hadn't even noted our forced exit. But what could I do? If I told Papa just what I thought about his future wife, he'd just become enraged and even more determined to get married.

When I started work the next day, I was completely distracted. "Audrina, type this up for me." I continued staring out in space when Michael slapped the paperwork on the desk and repeated, "Type this up for me."
    "Huh?"
    He sighed and said the obvious. "Your brain isn't here, is it?"
    "Sorry."
    "What's wrong?"
    I looked away from him, humiliated over my parent's actions. I could just predict how he would react. Since Michael was so polite, he would pretend that it was normal. But then, his thoughts would be poking fun at my family. He would believe my dad molested me when I was younger, and he was getting over it by getting engaged to someone who looked like me. Michael would think Papa did it so he could relieve his feelings through Clarria. This was not the case. I hadn't slept the entire night. In the dark, I had dissected my papa's personality. There were bags under my eyes to show for it, but I had come up with my own theory.
    My papa had done the unspeakable because he wanted the first Audrina back. I had shamed him by not loving him and understanding him as much as I did before those awful boys raped me. This was where Clarria came in. She would be the first Audrina that he had only experienced for a few blissful years. She would worship him and put Papa up high on a pedestal, just where he desired to be put.
    Instead, I told Michael nothing. He could never comprehend my complex life. I explained with a simple, "Nothing's wrong. You should go back to work now. I'll get this typed up soon."
    Michael blinked, and there was a perplexing silence before he said, "Alright, I won't be nosey." Noisily, he went back into his office and slammed the door shut. It was only the first day of work and I had already made my boss angry with me.
    I quickly got to the task that he had set before me. I had taken a typing class during my school days but I had forgot some of the skills. Oh well, at least it looked like I was working hard. I didn't want to give Michael more reasons to fire me. Now, not only was this new employment letting Sylvia have some time to herself but it was also distracting me from Clarria. There was no doubt in my mind that if I saw the two of them kissing, I would hurl.
    During the next few hours before I was free to go home, I was loaded with work. Apparently, I was required to do my job and those of the old secretary. She had quit and left many chores that needed to be done. No one had completed them in her absence because they all expected to hire the new secretary soon enough. I was so busy that I didn't even have time for lunch. Too bad for me.
    "Do you need a drive home?"
    Michael. Pushing hair away from my worried eyes, I frowned. Was it already time to go home and face my look alike and my papa? Were the clocks so against me that they had to rush time along so fast the minute I wasn't looking? "Arden is picking me up. Anyway, thanks for the offer."
    "No problem." He went back into his office. Since Michael was the bank manager, he was expected to be the last one here so he could lock up and set the security alarm appropriately.
    I prepared everything that I needed to do at home and put on my coat. Carrying the necessary items, I walked outside and stood huddled in a corner. In less than a minute, Arden arrived. The scent of the car exhaust was awful like always. Before I had left for work, we had planned our schedules so they matched perfectly. It was no surprise that he had come so soon. I almost wished we didn't. Sighing, I thought to myself, Here's another thing where I'm a freak in. Whereas many people ache with the need to go home, I want to stay at my workplace forever.
    "So, how was your first day at the job?" he asked while I climbed into the sedan and closed the door.
    "Anything that helps me pretend that Clarria is just a figment of my imagination is a good thing, so… I guess it went great."
    "I hear you. I feel exactly the same. It scares me that my stepmother-in-law and my wife look as if they were twins."

CHAPTER SEVEN

We arrived at home just as Clarria was walking around with a tape measure and a stranger following her every step. "Look at this horrible shade of beige. Just horrible. Maybe we can get some sort of pale blue. What do you think?" She pouted at the unknown man.
    Arden and I tried to go up to our rooms before she noticed us, but we had no such luck. "Oh, hello, you two lovebirds. This is Jacque. He's going to be our new interior designer."
    The male was below average height, and his fat seemed to be accumulating around his waist. He tried to hide it with a somewhat baggy dress shirt, but you couldn't help but detect it. Though Jacque's face was narrow and he had no double chin, his body appeared overweight. "Nice to meet you," Jacque's cultured voice spoke while he nodded his head in acknowledgment.
    I imagined this man to be a spoiled king if we had been in a different era. Half-wanting to curtsy, I waited for Arden to finish his greetings before we got far, far away from Clarria.
    As we strolled away without hesitation, I heard Jacque pointing out to my new stepmother, "That must have been your daughter." I expected to hear that expression a lot anytime I was near her.
    "I wonder if your father approved of this."
    I was startled at Arden's sudden words. "Pardon?"
    My husband looked distracted while he glanced off in space. "It's just money problems. You don't need to worry about it."
    "Tell me."
    "It's just that we're over the budget as it is right now. With the wedding and now this new designer, I don't know if we can afford it." He didn't need much prompting. Maybe it was a bigger dilemma than he put on.
    "Even with my secretary salary?" I inquired.
    Amused, Arden let out a smirk. "You expect to earn a lot of money from that? What is it? Minimum wage?"
    I was hurt that he was mocking my new job. He didn't need to act like he was better than me. The main reason Arden had the occupation he had now was because of my papa and his influences. "Every bit makes a difference," I argued, furious.
    "Yep, every tiny bit." Why couldn't he just let it go? I chose to ignore him, but I let the distance between us grow.
    A wistful tone echoed through the halls to my burning ears. "Au-ddrrriii-na?"
    I gave Arden a rueful expression. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to see my sister," I told him formally. I had a fierce protection over my first job. Any bad comment directed at it was aimed at me also.
    We walked off in opposite directions, me to Sylvia's room and my husband to ours.
    Maria was sitting cross-legged across from her. She peered at me from above her specs. "Hello, Mrs Lowe. She's been really good today. I'm teaching her to say the alphabet."
    "That's wonderful."
    There was a pause and we listened to Sylvia's musings of random letters. "O, P, G, I, L S, E, lalala."
    "Maria, if you don't mind, I'd like to spend some time with my sister."
    She got up and brushed her pants. "Okay, just call me when you need me," Maria murmured before she left.
    I kneeled in front of my innocent, rejected sibling. "Have you met Clarria?"
    Her face contorted into a face of disgruntled emotion. "Sss-she no li-li-li-like Sylvia."
    "Ssh, calm down. I'll always be here for you," I comforted.
    Spending the next couple of hours was like turning back time again. I no longer had to worry about fathers marrying new wives that looked liked their daughters, jealous husbands or mysterious men. The most horrendous problem was getting a pen mark on the wall. So simple, so lucky, so Sylvia.
    "It's time for dinner," Arden announced stiffly and then quickly left the doorway. How like him to be the barer of bad news.
    "Come on, Sylvia. You heard your brother-in-law. Eating time."
    "Jeeeelllo?"
    It was her favourite dessert, and she could spend hours of watching the fascinating substance moving back and forth. "Maybe."
    We walked down together to the dining room. There was a delicious combination aroma of crispy chicken and fresh baked bread. It rolled to my nose and stayed, teasing my tastebuds. Nothing like a home-cooked meal.
    Our family had assigned chairs. Papa usually sat on one end and I on the other. Today, after only one day of meeting my papa, Clarria was happily chatting in my spot, an obvious sign that things were about to change.
    "Hello, darling," the new mistress-to-be greeted, trying to avoid glancing at Sylvia's awkward walk.
    Ushering Sylvia to sit next to me, we started dinner. The hired help was obviously busy, having to not only cook the food, but serve it also.
    I got up. I knew how he felt. Not long ago, I was the one assigned to that job. "Let me help you, Henri."
    "Audrina. Sit down. They're paid to do that," she commanded with her nose uplifted.
    Of course, I was now more determined to aid Henri with his many tasks. "And are you paid to be such an intolerable bitch, too? What kind of lady would marry a man after only going on one date with them? And what's more is continuing this engagement when you found out that his daughter is practically your identical twin. Not just that but you have to take MY chair at the dinner table, too. We have arranged seats, you know!" I just couldn't stop the flow of words once they left my tongue. I had tried to keep them inside but I couldn't. I just couldn't.
    I left the gloomy room and ran outside. I ran from my future stepmother's crying, Papa's embarrassment, Arden's shock, Henri's wonderment of what he should now and Sylvia's cries for me. The forest was better than that evil house. Too many deaths and tears had occurred in there for it to be good. Even the forest was purer than it.
    I jogged madly throughout the open grass and then into the unknown forests. I needed time to myself. There was just too much going on. Throwing myself at the nearest tree, I huddled, covering my ears with my hands and burying my face into my lap.
    I used to think that the house was my haven. Listening to my parents' tricks and truths, I had stayed away from the forest. But, oh, parents had a way of thinking that they were always right when it came to their children. They were wrong. Deadly wrong. The house contained the soul of the other Audrina, the rocking chair, the horrible stairs that led to your death and all those people that promised you an unhappy life. Even the forest was better than that. It had created me. At least it had given birth to the present Audrina.

CHAPTER EIGHT

The crunch of leaves alerted me that someone was approaching me. Yet another way of the forest telling me that it would be friendlier to me than the mansion could ever be. I ignored the urge to run away from whom the footsteps would belong to. If something happened to me, my family would worry and then they'd find out how much they would miss me.
    The walking ceased to continue. "Audrina, what was that about? After all these years, is this your way of telling me you're insecure?" I didn't have to lift my head to know that the voice belonged to Papa.
    My own came out low and muffled. "I don't like her."
    "Why not?"
    "You know why."
    From within him erupted a growl. "Well, at least look at me when you're speaking."
    "No."
    I think Papa wished he could rip out all his precious hair. Balding was a no-no since it was another one of the many symbols of aging. "Why do you think that everything has to revolve around you? Maybe I love Clarria for her personality and I don't care what she looks like."
    Finally removing my head from my legs, my chilly eyes met Papa's. "I don't believe in love at first sight."
    He easily found another tree trunk and leaned against it. "Oh, Audrina," Papa simply muttered.
    "Please get rid of her. I was okay with Billie but I just can't handle her. I don't want her."
    He whispered without emotion, "Is this your way of telling me it's either you or her?"
    "Yes."
    "Then I choose Clarria," he shouted angrily. Papa quickly strolled back towards the house.
    He had picked a stranger over me. A stranger. It just showed how much he cared about our relationship as father and daughter. Our history had spanned over two decades. Then an Audrina-wannabe waltzed in and I was out of the picture. Maybe there really was nothing he wouldn't do to get the first Audrina back. Maybe he had never really got over me getting raped.
    When the night winds blowing over threw my dirty dress into tumbles, and the howling disrupted my mindless thoughts, I wrapped my arms tighter around my legs. There was no way I was going somewhere I wasn't wanted. I would be damned before I would cry another tear for the stupid man that claimed to be my papa. I would rather die. It's not like I had anything to live for anyway.
    I don't know how long I stayed outside. All I know is that I had fallen asleep and my freezing body had turned numb. It began to rain soon after that. I wasn't ready when it started tumbling down in huge drops; one after the other. They were sent from the heavens to tell me I was unwanted everywhere. I was depressed as I tried to get closer to the tree trunk. The water just dripped through the branches of the newly developing leaves and soaked me through from head to toe.
    There was a point during that night when I was delirious. Nothing made sense anymore, and reality was no more. Within my mystic mind, I heard a distraught cry. "Au-dr-drina!"
    "Later, Sylvia. Not now," I whispered out loud, shaking my head against limp legs.
    Then came the soft, startlingly dry chest that I was shoved against. I just kept murmuring, "Later, Sylvia. Not now. Leave me alone!" My mind wasn't thinking right. Deep down, I knew that it couldn't be my sister carrying me somewhere. She didn't have that kind of strength.
    Luckily or unluckily, there were even spaces during the haunting darkness where I managed to glimpse into my life again.
    "Call the doctor!"
    "Now? But what if-"
    "Three weeks, at the most-"
    "Forgive me, Audrina."
    I saw people I never thought I would see again. I recall being squished against my real mommy, and she was whispering endearing words to me. "It's okay, Audrina honey. I love you. I love you forever and beyond that. I will always be by your side. Don't forget, I'll be your guardian angel for all of eternity. Miss you, sweetheart." Her multicoloured hair sprinkling across my forehead, she kissed me.
    I snuggled closer and smiled. Finally, I would be with mother again. She was the only one I knew that brought back a time of an innocent, naïve Audrina. Suddenly, I was hurled away from my lovely mother. She didn't do anything about it but smile like a goddess.
    "No! Mommy! Don't leave me!" I screamed, each letter jerking tears from my eyes.
    Billie looked at me strictly. "Why are you yelling at me? Oh well, the important thing is I thought I told you to take good care of my son."
    "I tried," I whispered to nothing and everything.
    "No you didn't. You're lying," she accused me as she suddenly turned pale, her eyes sunken in and her skin growing non-existent. "You're lying," Billie's maggot-covered skull muttered again while the meatless finger pointed at me.
    I was jerked around, and the independent woman I loved disappeared. "What's the matter? Is the Audrina not perfect anymore? Aw, poor baby. No one loves you," Vera snickered.
    "Oh, shut your trap. Stop talking and clean up this mess. Why must I be the one to always clean up?" a very dead Aunt Ellsbeth disciplined to her. "And you, Audrina. I'm dead and you're alive. You're lucky, but do you think you deserved to be the one in the waking world while we're wandering around like ghosts?"
    "No," I whimpered, crying. Crazy, I shut my eyes tightly and pressed my hands firmly against my unwilling ears to block the dead. Why were they all taunting me? Why?
    I felt warm fingers prying my cold hands away. "You're better than all of us, Audrina. You don't belong here." That deep voice was so familiar yet… I opened my eyes out of curiosity. It was Lamar! My piano teacher.
    "Shush. I'll make it all better." He kissed me on the top of my head, and I blushed.

"Please wake up, Audrina. I'm sorry. Forgive me. I didn't mean it," Papa managed to strangle out.
    I mumbled something even I couldn't comprehend. My whole body ached and my eyes were still closed. I didn't want to face the world I dreaded so much.
    "I'll get rid of Clarria since you seem to hate her so much. I love you more than her. I was angry about everything that was going on. Please just get better. I admit that the thought of having a grandchild was too much at first. But now I want one so much, I can hear the baby cry. If you-"
    "What are you talking about?" I croaked from my sore throat. Was I dreaming still?
    I heard something rustling. "With all this excitement of a future baby in the household, I forgot you didn't know yet. You're pregnant."
    My eyes snapped open. My feverish forehead crinkled as I sneezed. "What?"
    "You're three weeks pregnant according to the doctor that came to see you about your amazingly high fever. He said if you're not careful, you may lose the baby but…" He rambled on, but I tried to catch every word. I wanted the newborn, my child. I would try with all my strength, heart and soul to give birth to him or her.
    Oh yes. Finally. Something to live for.

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Alessandra Azzaroni Sarah Ryniker, Ashleen Woods & Alessandra Azzaroni Ashleen Woods Sarah Ryniker Rebecca Gustafson Alex Simon Anita Sydelle Molli Moran Bunny Edwards Noah Lee Virtue Steppnewski Jaime Franco Leigh Mikage Goss Gem Kitty Yacomeni Sherry A Mauro

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