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Aeryn Sun sat at the bar nursing a drink she didn’t really want. It helped her blend in, she hoped, and maybe it would help her think.
Now that she was actually on the Royal Planet, she was beginning to wonder if she could really do what she had come to do. As she had many times in the past twenty cycles, she missed John. It was a familiar ache, almost welcome. One of his plans would be just the thing right now….
In the eighty-five cycles since she had last been there, the capital city had changed quite a bit, but from her reconnaissance – as a member of a public tour – the Parliamentary building and the Royal Palace hadn’t changed much. It was odd how clearly she remembered those buildings after so long, but then, the events surrounding John’s aborted marriage to then-Princess Katralla had been a major turning point in Aeryn’s emotional life.
She’d already learned that the deception forged by John, Katralla, Tyno and the old Empress had apparently held. Katralla’s consort was known by the name John Crichton. Perhaps John’s later notoriety hadn’t reached the planet, or perhaps they’d assumed it was some other John Crichton who had removed both the Scarran and the Peacekeeper threats…. Whether this made it safer for her to be here, a living witness to the deception, she wasn’t sure.
Of Katralla’s young daughter, the object of Aeryn’s journey, she’d yet heard little.
“Can I get you another drink?” The voice startled her, and Aeryn looked up into the face of a red-headed waitress who reminded her of Jool, long ago.
“No, “ Aeryn said, “I was just about to go.”
The waitress started to leave, but Aeryn changed her mind and stopped her. “Wait. What can you tell me about the Royal family?”
“Like what?” The girl was a fount of information.
“Well,” Aeryn said patiently, “are they liked? Do they seem happy?”
“That’s an odd question.”
Aeryn shrugged and smiled sheepishly. “I knew the Empress’ consort many cycles ago, and I met Katralla shortly before their marriage,” she said. “I was hoping to pay my respects now that they’ve taken their place as rulers. I wasn’t able to get back to the planet before now.”
That wasn’t strictly true. She wanted to see John’s daughter at the age that John had, before they fled the Royal Planet. It was the image he held in his heart of the child he’d never know, the image that he’d shared with her, the features she suspected he’d looked for at least occasionally in the faces of their children and grandchildren.
Aeryn shifted her attention back to the waitress when she realized the girl was speaking. “You’ve met the Empress?”
“Well, it was a long time ago.” Aeryn shook her head. “I doubt she’d remember me.” But Aeryn had no doubt Katralla remembered John…who had given her a throne, a husband she loved, and a child and heir. Well, it would be petty to be jealous, when John had given HER his whole heart for sixty cycles – and three children she loved more than she could ever have imagined she was capable of. They’d had a good life together. She shook her head again. This was a mistake, coming here. It had her wallowing in the past.
The waitress had grown impatient, realizing that Aeryn’s attention was elsewhere, but she didn’t want to lose the possibility of a tip, so she was still waiting.
Aeryn smiled at her. “Well, how’s an ordinary person like me going to get into the palace, anyway? It doesn’t matter.” She stood up and slapped some coins down on the counter and headed out the door.
You are getting old and soft, Aeryn Sun, she told herself sternly. Talk about calling attention to yourself! That girl will remember you being here if anyone comes asking after you.
Maybe Laran was right. He hadn’t wanted her to come. She supposed he was worried. For a fellow ex-Peacekeeper, he seemed to have little faith in her ability to take care of herself. Well, she wasn’t going to worry about him right now.
She walked back towards her hotel, trying to decide how to get into the palace proper. It seemed that Katralla and Tyno held public audiences several times a monen, but the waiting list for those was very long. She had no wish to remain on this planet longer than she had to. Breaking in was simply likely to get her caught and thrown in jail – or worse. She could only imagine trying to work the bureaucracy well enough to actually get a direct message to the Empress or even Tyno.
In the end, she didn’t need a plan to get into the palace. When she reached her hotel, the desk clerk nodded in her direction, and she looked to see whom he had made eye contact with. It was a pair of Palace Guards. They advanced on her with great efficiency, and she chose to let them come, simply watching quietly.
“Are you Aeryn Sun?” one of them asked.
“Yes,” she replied.
“We’re to bring you to the palace. The Empress wishes to see you.”
“Really.” Aeryn sensed no nervousness from the two, no sign of deception; she didn’t think they had orders to lock her up, shoot her, or otherwise dispose of her. Well, this made it simpler. She smiled disarmingly at them. “Fine. Am I dressed properly for an audience?”
It appeared this was what John had once described to her as a “come as you are” party, for they simply nodded and ushered her out into a ground transport.
* * * * * * *
The reception room was smaller and more intimate than the vast spaces of the public halls. Katralla and Tyno were seated in something less imposing than thrones, but more substantial than any of the other chairs in the room. Not knowing what was expected of her, Aeryn remained standing and nodded deferentially at the Empress. Then she smiled at Tyno and said, “John, it’s been such a long time! How are you?”
He smiled back, playing the part of old friend, and said, “You’ve hardly changed.”
“Well, you certainly haven’t,” she told him. “But my hair’s got a little gray in it now,” she added honestly. “I’m a grandmother, you know.”
That seemed to reassure Katralla, and she dismissed the guards and waved Aeryn to a seat. She fixed Aeryn with the regal stare her mother had been so good at.
“You came to see Jeryn.”
Jeryn. Was that the child’s name? John. Aeryn. “You knew?”
“How could I not know? I was in love with Tyno. I knew Crichton was in love with you, and you with him.”
I didn’t, Aeryn thought. Or at least, I couldn’t face it at the time. Well, it appeared there was no need to keep up the fiction in private. “He’s gone now, you know,” she told them then. “His shorter lifespan.” She shook off the tinge of melancholy. “You found me at the hotel. How did you know I was coming?”
Tyno answered. “We didn’t. But we thought that Crichton might perhaps survive longer than he thought, or that some of his friends might want to come and see our daughter. We’ve simply had all your names on a watch list for the spaceport authorities.”
The better to protect the heir, Aeryn thought. John would have thought of something like that. Curiosity got the better of her and she asked, “Has anyone else come?”
“Just you,” Katralla said.
“Ah.” Well, that wasn’t really a surprise. She doubted any of the others, wherever they were now, would even remember the child existed. Except perhaps D’Argo.
Aeryn had had enough of the awkward silences. “May I see her?” she asked. “I won’t trouble you for long.”
Katralla and Tyno exchanged glances, and Tyno went to get Jeryn.
Left alone with Aeryn, Katralla asked, “You married him, then? I often wondered about his life, if he had other children, children he could raise.”
“Yes.” Aeryn smiled. “We have three. John was a wonderful father. A much better father than I am a mother, actually, but they turned out all right. They’re happy.”
“Good,” Katralla said, and then her face lit up. Aeryn followed her gaze and saw Tyno and Jeryn entering the room hand in hand. The little girl was skipping cheerfully.
Here she was at last, John’s child, created without his consent, but a child he had missed, nonetheless. She looked exactly as John had described her, reddish-blonde hair, upturned nose and all. She probably looked a lot like Katralla too, but all Aeryn could see in her face was John. She felt her eyes start to water and firmly told herself to stop it.
Tyno stopped near Katralla, and the child stood in front of him, in his protective shadow. Well, if that’s how they wanted to play it…. To be honest, Aeryn could hardly blame them. She knew they viewed her as a potential threat.
She got up and walked across the room. Smiling down at the little girl in front of her, she held out her hand. “Hello. My name is Aeryn.”
Jeryn reached out and took the offered hand. She shook hands with a huge, exaggerated swing. “That’s like my name. I’m Jeryn.”
“Yes, I know,” Aeryn smiled. She crouched down in front of John’s daughter, still holding her hand. “I knew your father, a long time ago,” she told her.
“Before he was a statue?”
“Yes. Before he was a statue. I’ve been wanting to meet you.”
“I was at lessons,” the girl said. “Thank you for getting me out of them for a while.”
“What?” Aeryn said in mock horror. “Children your age are supposed to enjoy their lessons!”
Jeryn eyed her skeptically, and then changed the subject. “Do you have any children like me?”
“Mmmm, yes,” Aeryn said, her throat suddenly tight. “But they’re all grown up. They even have children of their own who are bigger than you!” Aeryn took a breath and smiled again. “If you don’t like lessons, what do you like?”
“The stars,” Jeryn said promptly. “There are lots and lots of them, and they all have worlds I can visit!”
“Well, I hope you get to visit them one day,” Aeryn told her.
The childish face grew more mature. “I hope so,” Jeryn said, “but I shall be very busy here when I am Empress.”
“So you shall,” Aeryn told her. “Maybe you can go before that.” She glanced at Katralla, knew her welcome was wearing thin. “May I have a hug?” she asked the girl.
By way of reply, Jeryn wrapped her arms around Aeryn’s neck. Aeryn wrapped her arms around the girl in return, making the hug count for John, too. She remembered his description of hugging her computer image. He would have loved to be here.
“You look like your father. He’d be proud of you.”
When Jeryn looked confused, Aeryn amended, “He IS proud of you, of course.”
She looked at Katralla and Tyno, and saw them beaming at their daughter. Their daughter.
Aeryn let go of the girl and leaned back, still in a crouch. She rested her hands on her knees. “I’d better let you get back to your lessons. Off you go.”
She stood up as Tyno took the girl away. She watched until they were gone, and then turned to Katralla.
The two women looked at each other, sizing each other up. Finally Aeryn spoke. “I would have tried to take her somehow if I didn’t think she was safe here. Or happy.”
“I thought you might.”
“Let her visit the stars, before she has to follow your path,” Aeryn advised, one mother to another.
“She’ll have a good life,” Katralla assured her.
Aeryn took that as dismissal and turned to leave.
* * * * * * * *
They sent her back to the hotel without the escort this time, and Aeryn was grateful for the privacy.
*Well, John,* she thought, *she’s fine. Now what do I do?* she asked rhetorically. It had been a long time since she talked to him in her mind.
“Now, Girl,” came John’s voice, much to her surprise, “you go home and marry that man. He’s waited long enough.”
“It’s only been two cycles since he started asking,” she answered him automatically, surprised or not.
“Two cycles is an eternity for a man waitin’ on you to make up your mind, Baby,” he said, touching her cheek softly.
“Yes, and I suppose you’d know that, wouldn’t you?” She smiled, glad there was no one there to see her.
“I don’t love Laran.”
“Yes you do.”
“Not like you.”
“He knows that.”
She stared out the window, thinking about nothing, and John intruded once again. “He makes you laugh.”
“Yes,” she conceded, “he does.”
“You know I’ll be waiting for you when the time comes,” John told her gently. “But you have a lot of life left to live. And you don’t want to do it alone when you’ve found someone who makes you laugh.”
She sighed out loud. “You’re right, aren’t you?”
“Of course I am.”
“All right,” she told him, feeling the rightness of the decision in her heart. “But you’d better be there in the end.”
“Always,” he told her.
Aloud, she said to the driver of the transport, “Could you wait just a little while for me at the hotel? I just need to collect my things and go on to the space port.” After a moment she added softly, “There are a lot of stars left to see.”
