I Don't Want To, But….

(Cammie and Matt sit at a table. There is a pizza pan with one slice left and two Cokes on the table. Cammie wears jeans and a tank top, Matt wears jeans or shorts and a T-shirt. They are in the middle of a long conversation. Matt and Cammie have been best friends since they met when they were seven at a summer camp. They live only twenty minutes away from each other, but they don't see each other very much)

Matt: I'm glad you came up to see me this weekend, Cammie. We don't see each other too much.

Cammie: It's been three weeks. That's a long time for us. You going back to Woodmount this summer?

Matt: As a CIT. Brian and I are going to be next to each other-Grove Three and Four. You?

Cammie: Yeah. Anna and I are in Hill Three and Four. I think the four of us would have a lot of fun.

Matt: We would have to do the 'Fifteen Minute Grease'. You remember planning that last summer? For this year's CIT talent show?

Cammie: The first one. The second has to be making fun of the Spice Girls. Sorry- it has to be done.

(both laugh, remembering the fun times of camp)

Matt: Remember the dance? When all our campers were convinced we liked each other?

Cammie: Yeah.

Matt: That was hilarious. I mean, how could we like each other? We're best friends!

(Matt laughs, and Cammie gives a half smile and forces herself to laugh along)

Cammie: Yeah…

(Matt freezes and Cammie turns to the audience to talk)

Cammie: Yeah, we're best friends…but does that mean I can't like him? I could never live without Matt… he's a part of me now. We do like everything together, when we can - though we do live far away from each other. But, when we're apart - like the last three weeks - the time is agony to me. I know he loves me, but as a brother loves a sister. He would probably freak out if he knew. I should tell him, I know that, but I just can't…don't ask me why cause I don't know. It's the little things, you know? The small things he does that make me love him. The way he pages me with "14377-56" every night before he goes to bed - "I love you forever and forever, sweet dreams". And the way he flashes that 100-watt smile at me-I melt when I see that smile. I should tell him, but I can't. It would scare him off, and I can't lose Matt. But I should tell him…when the time is right…

(turns back to Matt, who unfreezes)

Matt: So, when you going to Woodmount?

Cammie: Well, I'm leaving next Friday to go up to Boston and spend a week with Anna, and then we'll go up to Woodmount together the following Friday. You?

Matt: I leave next Thursday to go up to Brian's, then we're going to Woodmount the next Friday. I am so excited about camp this year. It'll be awesome, and Kira and Gus are coming back too!

Cammie: Really? That's awesome. I knew about Kira, but it's cool that Gus is coming. Kira's in Hill Five. I'm in Four.

Matt: Yep. Gus is in Five; I'm in Four. It should be fun.

Cammie: I'm excited.

Matt: Me too. Our cabins will be brother and sister cabins! We'll have a great time. All summer together!!

(Matt freezes and Cammie talks to the audience again)

Cammie: Now. I should tell him now…why am I so scared? I should just tell him. I'm going to…

(Matt unfreezes)

Matt: Did I tell you that Jamie and Chris got together? They are ruining their friendship. Once you go out, you can never be friends again.

Cammie: That's not always true.

Matt: Yes it is. Name one time where it wasn't true.

Cammie: Well, what if we went out? We would still be friends.

Matt: Yeah, but that won't happen. We're best friends.

(Cammie takes a deep breath)

Cammie: Why not?

Matt: Because, Cammie. We're best friends. I would never like you that way and you would never like me that way. It doesn't work like that.

Cammie: But it does…I'm not sure how to say this, or even if I should...but I feel like you might need to know. You probably don't want to either, but I feel like I should tell you the way I'm feeling. Here goes nothing. I love you. I really do, and I have for I'm not sure how long. I don't know when it happened, but it did, and there is nothing you or I can do to change that now. So that's the way it has to stay. And I know about all your relationships in the past couple of years. I know that one girl is never around for very long, I know you have cheated on girlfriends, I know about a lot, though maybe not everything. Because Anna and Kira told me before as well as last night to make me feel better and try and cheer me up. I know it would be the same with me if I lived up here, and especially if we somehow got together while I still live where I do. I have been told you are a jerk, a dumb-ass, a stupid boy that's not worth caring about, a fuckrag, and many other things by many different people. And no matter what I am told, what I hear, or what I might see for myself, I still love you. Whenever I see you, I just want to hug you and kiss you. I can't be near you without wanting to tell you and have you tell me the same thing. I've never felt this way before. I did a lot of thinking last night, and after talking it over with Anna, I realised I am in love with you. And I have this odd feeling I might always love you. I really don't want to sometimes, but I do, and I really can't do anything about it. I know you probably didn't want to hear that, and I'm not sure why I just told you, but I just felt as if you should know.

(there is a really long pause, as Cammie looks at Matt intently, and takes a deep breath, because she is close to tears. Matt just kind of sits there, shocked)

Cammie: Well...aren't you going to say something? Please?

Matt: Do you really feel that way?

Cammie: Yeah…

(Matt looks at his watch.)

Matt: Oh, look at the time. Gotta go, Cammie - I'll see you when we get to Woodmount. Bye!!

(hugs her quickly and hurries off. Cammie waves, wipes away her tears, and bangs her forehead against the table)

Cammie: Stupid, stupid, stupid!!! Why did you have to go and tell him that? He didn't want to know. And now he's gone for good. Whet are you going to do without him, huh? Huh? Stupid, stupid, stupid!!

(lays her head on the table. Then, she can't just sit there anymore, so she gets up and paces. She holds her head as if it hurts, and she is crying)

Cammie: (screaming) SHIT!!!!! (quiet again, sobbing) You just lost your best friend…

(Matt comes back on and stands on the edge of the stage for a second, watching Cammie. She doesn't see him. She turns, and suddenly does see him)

Cammie: Matt…uh, hi. Did you forget something?

Matt: Cammie? I'm sorry-I didn't mean all those things…about us never liking each other and stuff…I just…uh…I…

Cammie: What, Matt? You what?

Matt: I didn't think you felt the same way I did and I didn't want to get hurt…

(the two stare at each other for a second, Matt worried, Cammie letting it all sink in. Then, suddenly, she runs to him and into a huge hug.)

Cammie: I love you, Matt…

Matt: I love you too, Cammie…

Cammie: I was so scared about telling you…

Matt: I know- so was I. Come on…we have some talking to do.

(they smile at each other, and walk off stage, arms around each other's waists)

Angel Harrison

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