Beautiful
By Kristen Bartlett
Copyright © 1999, All Rights Reserved

So tell me. Do you hate me? Do you not want to be my friend? I never asked you for any of that. In fact, all I did was love you, and I really wouldn't say that's a crime, unless of course, you would. It was always about you; you know that? Always. And I can't for the love of God decide whether I wanted you or who you are. Although I do know that whatever I wanted, I wanted it with a passion. Do you not love me because I'm ugly? Is that it? Because I know I am. God just didn't give me beauty; and for one thing, I don't care. I can't help not having innocent eyes and a perfect figure just as you can't help being the asshole that you are. Born that way, I guess. You hurt my feelings today. And I'm fairly sure that you didn't even realize it. Just something you said on impulse that was forgotten about a second later. But when I got in the car to go home, I still hadn't forgotten it. It's the way you are. I never gave a damn about what anyone thought about me, and then you go around changing it. It's like . . . well let me just say that I'm looking forward to the day you leave. And I can't wait for the rest of my life when I never see you or hear your voice. Because I'm going to be something. And now, you see me, and think I'm no special person. You see me and make your judgements . . . your decisions. But it won't always be that way. Because tomorrow you'll see that I may not be pretty . . . but I will be beautiful.

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