GETTING MARRIAGE OFF TO A GOOD START February 10,2002 The word marriage is synonymous with family Genesis 1: 27,28 same qualities as Jehovah The Family is the basic unit of society It has survived despite everything going on in the world There is a spirit today that threatens the family Marriages breaking up at an alarming rate. why do you think why so many marriages fail? One reason is lack of preparation. Very few prepare for marriage. We, as Jehovah's people do not want the spirit of the world to rub off on us. Four things to discuss when preparing for marriage - Selecting a Mate - Commitment - Adjustments - Disagreements Selecting a Mate We really plan for things such as what car we will drive, what home we will live in. We do not just jump into marriage Luke 14: 28 We need to ask ourselves, Do I have the qualities to make this marriage work? 1 Corinthians 7:28 Marriage is not always smooth sailing, there will be problems Am I past the youthful stage? Maturity is needed to support a mate when problems arise. There is a tendancy to put the blame on the other. Both husband and wife have to tackle problems together. What are my values, goals? This will have a bearing on thier happiness. You just can't fall in love with just anyone. You need to be in tune with each other. Commitment Not many want to commit today. Many are afraid to do so. We commit ourselves to Jehovah when we get baptized, we must be in love to commit to someone Was a commitment Jehovah's intent with the first couple? Yes. Genesis 2:24 must stick to his wife This is to be the closest human relationship on earth. We really need to know one another. 1 Peter 3:3,4 Secret person of the heart. First thing is not to let the person know you are interested in them Listen and talk to them. How do they interact with others. Talk to them, communicate from the heart. John 33:3 When dating - communicate in a group, a lot is involved as to who you want to commit to. 1 Corinthians 7:30 Marry only in the Lord To be "one flesh" is pretty hard when you are going in separate directions It does limit your choice, but Jehovah notices it. Adjustments Ecclesiastes 4:9,10 Adjustments are necessary. Sometimes we disappoint one another in how we view things. Have to adjust to each others families Matthew 5:41 Sexual needs: World's attitude's are warped Philippians 2:4 Take a personal interest in the other person. Coping with Disagreements We do have disagreements. communication is the basic way to cope. We need to talk to one another. To have a meeting of the minds. Proverbs 18:13 You have to make allowances for each other. Married life has problems for a husband and a wife. Someone stopped loving if a problem arises Proverbs 17:17 A friend is a friend at all times A friend always listens Our mates should be our best friend Sometimes it is a good idea to get help, but rarely relatives, call on an elder or a friend. But both husband and wife have to agree on it. Beware of pride. Time moves on, and years later this may not be as important as it is at present. Romans 12:17 Return evil for evil to no one. Keep conquering the evil with good. Sometimes it just needs to be given a break We must count the cost. Commitment - one flesh We are better than one - Adjustments Keep romance in a marriage. Your mate must be the most precious person to you. with Jehovah's help you can have a long-lasting and enduring marriage.