How To Buy A Second Hand Car.

	So, your Girlfriend has had enough and your friends and relatives
are beginning to disown you. All this because that damn Skoda of yours 
has failed its MOT once again. Adding insult to injury, the mechanic had
called it a mobile collander, but at least that makes a refreshing change
from jokes about skips. It sounds like the time has come for you to buy
yourself a second hand car, but where should you start? The Skoda has
hardly given you a taste of real motoring. Don't worry, buying a second
hand car isn't as difficult as it seems. Using a bit of common sense and
general knowledge, looking for a car should be childs play. Just follow
these simple steps;


What size of car do you require?

What body shape do you require?

Engine power and fuel consumption.

Models and the comforts they offer.

Cars as status symbols.

Running cost and general maintenance.

Fixing a budget.

Private or from a dealer.

Finding the car.

Phoning the advert.

Viewing the car.

Making an offer.


What size of car do you require?

	In many respects a car is like buying a house. You wouldn't
buy yourself a twelve bedroomed mansion if it was just yourself 
living there, unless of course you had won the lottery, but if you had,
surely you'd be buying a brand new Jaguar or something similar? Think 
about the amount of people likely to be in the car at one time. Likewise, 
how much shopping/tools/animals are you likely to be carting around with 
you? A small saloon car will be useless if you spend a lot of your mileage 
driving around with two screaming kids, a nagging wife and a big German 
Shepard called Rover panting furiously in your ear. 

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What body shape do you require?

	There are essentially three different types of car body,
the saloon, the hatchback and the estate. The saloon has a boot.
The hatchback, otherwise known as a five or three door, has a rear
opening tailgate which in itself is the other door, and the estate
has an extended rear, which would be an ideal place for the nagging
wife, while Rover sits up the front with you. An estate would be wasted
if all you ever carried about was a briefcase, whereas a saloon will
be no good when it comes to moving the wife back to your Mother-in-laws.

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Engine power and fuel consumption.

	Are you a budding boy racer? If so, you will be looking for the 
fastest, most uneconomical model that you can find. These models usually 
have tags such as Turbo, GTi, RTi, SRi, XRi, etc. You are the sort of
person who leaves large black lines at traffic lights, overtakes in rural
areas frightening the elderly and carves people up at junctions as you
always leave changing lanes until the last moment. But the last laugh is 
to be had by the more 'sane' driver. He is the one who sedately passes 
you by as you try to unwrap your car from the tree that you have just 
piled into.

	For the more 'normal' driver however, your main concern could be
the amount of miles per gallon that your car can achieve. For the smaller
car you usually find that the smaller engine will be the most economical.
For a larger car a slightly larger engine may be a better option as it
will compensate for the heavier bodywork. One alternative would be to
look at a diesel engine. These may be more sluggish than their petrol
stablemates, but the added bonus is a lot more miles per gallon.

	Another thing to take into consideration would be the mileage
and type of roads that you intend to travel. If you spend a lot of your
time travelling up and down motorways a Robin Reliant would be useless.
Rumour has it that at anything over fifty miles an hour in one of these
cars causes it to explode, although factually this is impossible as these
cars have problems racing grannies in zimmer frames. A larger engined car
would make more sense for comfortable cruising at motorway speeds. That 
is in excess of eighty miles an hour. The legal seventy miles an hour is 
just a vicious rumour. If you intend doing mainly town driving, then 
perhaps a smaller engined car is required, perhaps with an automatic box.
That way, when crawling in slow traffic, the men can be posing to the 
women in other cars, while the women themselves can be applying make-up. 
This eliminates the frustration of having to change gear during the vital
'running fingers through hair' routine.

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Models and the comforts they offer.

	If your are one of these people who demands the 'home from home'
features in cars and are looking for a CD player, heated seats, electric
windows, central locking, microwave, then you should be looking at the
higher spec model of the car you have chosen. These type of cars usually 
carry badges like Ghia, CDi, Vanden Plas, Executive. However, if you are
content with a crackly medium wave radio, just a speedometer and a 
warning light, you could consider a Mayfair, Bonus, Popular Plus, L, 
Fire, Graduate, Campus, Quest, Merit. They may appear exciting by name, 
but that is where the fun will stop!

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Cars as status symbols.

	Many cars are treated as 'status symbols.' These are typically
the Mercedes, Jaguar, Porshe, Lotus, Aston Martin, TVR, etc. Boys toys. 
You know the driver, old and ugly, but with a teenage bird next to him. 
It stinks of money, and doesn't the smug git know it when he is sat at 
the traffic light grinning away at you.

	BMW, a status symbol? Don't you believe it. The only people that 
believe this are BMW drivers, mainly the 3 series drivers. Don't believe
the hype. Just smile at them, nod, give them the 'birdie' and run them 
off the road. You'll feel good for it, believe me!

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Running cost and general maintenance.

	By now you should have some idea of the car that will best suit
your needs. Time for a reality check. Can you afford the general 
servicing and maintenance that this car will cost? This isn't a new born 
child you know. A car needs to be looked after and treated with great 
amounts of care and respect. Can you really afford to replace those 
225/40/17 tyres on an annual budget? Do you realise just how much petrol 
that twinned supercharge V12 engine will really drink? Will that fifty 
pound Moss alarm really protect that three thousand pound stereo system? 
And will your insurance company fully insure you once it realises that 
those alloy wheels are real gold? I suggest you re-read the above and 
come up with something more sensible. That's better.

	Right, servicing costs. Most cars require two services a year.
One is known as the interim service where a mechanic tells you he has 
changed the oil, but in reality he has just cleaned the oil filter. The 
second service is the annual service. Here the same mechanic cleans 
the same filter, but this time he has a tea break as well, which he will
charge you double for. Check that your budget will allow for this. Also
check the costs of tyres, exhausts and your water bill. Occasionally you
may have to top up the windscreen washer reservoir, and you don't want to
run up too big a bill on your water meter. 

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Fixing a budget.

	By now you should have some idea of the car that will suit your
needs. The next thing to consider is your budget. How much can you really
afford? I said REALLY afford. It would be nice if we all had ten thousand
pounds to spend on a second hand car, but in reality most of us don't. When 
this has been achieved you'll need to know what age car you can afford.

	The easiest way to find this out is to pick up a pen and paper 
and take a trip to your local newsagent. Once there, begin to browse 
through the car magazines and price guides jotting down the age and 
condition of the car that suits your budget. You should now have a pretty
good idea of the car that will soon be yours.

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Private or from a dealer.

	Usually buying from a car dealer is the safest way of getting a
decent car as they can offer you warranties and you have some come back
if you were misfortunate to buy a cut and shut, that being two cars
welded into one, but why you didn't notice the VW front and the Fiesta rear
is a complete mystery. Buying from a dealer, however, is usually more
expensive, but it could be worth the extra cash for peace of mind.

	Buying privately is cheaper, you won't get some sleazy salesman
coming up to you trying to flog you something you don't want, but you
are more likely to come across families with screaming children and 
crotch sniffing dogs. Approach with caution. Also you have no come back 
on the seller if the car explodes two minutes after you have bought it.

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Finding the car.


	Now that you know what you can afford and the type of car your 
are after, it is time to start browsing through the free papers for car 
adverts. And you thought they were only any good for swatting flies. Make
sure that you circle all cars that attract your attention, even if that 
Merc is out of your league, it could get your mates talking. Get used to 
all the jargon used. LSD is not an advert for free drugs and 4WD is not a 
spray needed to get this car going in damp weather.

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Phoning the advert.

	Once you have decided upon a car to look at, give the seller a call. 
If buying private, beware of the rouge trades person trying to pass
themselves off as private seller. Trade adverts must have either a T or 
trade printed clearly on them. Why do they do this? Probably because the 
car is a right lemon held together with elastic bands and Pampers 
nappies. One way to trap a dealer selling privately is to ask if _the_ 
car is for sale. Don't mention the make or model. If he is dodgey and has
many trade cars going as private the question may cause him to start 
thinking which in turn may make his head explode. No worries, it's not 
your house that gets covered in mush. If you are happy that the seller is
indeed genuine, then you will want to know other details about the car; 
Mileage, colour, engine size, trim level, last time it was serviced, etc.
These details may have been in the advert, but it is worth double 
checking, just in case. You'd be amazed at the amount of adverts for 
Mercedes turning out to be Ford Fiestas. When you are happy with the 
details arrange to meet that seller at their home. Don't let a seller 
come to you and don't arrange to meet halfway. This is an easy way to be
sold a stolen car.

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Viewing the car.

	Make sure you view the car in daylight. Street lighting can cause
paint shades to appear different than they are. Imagine your horror if 
you woke up one morning and your nice orange car was suddenly pink! Don't
let this happen to you. It is also a good idea to bring a friend with 
you. They will be able to advise you and give you an impartial view to 
the sale, unless it is a scam where your mate is being bribed by the 
seller.
	
	When you arrive at the seller's house walk around the car and get
a general feel for it. Does the car look right? Would you feel happy 
owning it? Good, but don't part with the money yet, you still have a long
way to go. At this stage the seller has usually appeared, if not, try 
throwing stones at his bathroom window, this is sure to grab his 
attention. When the seller finally arrives begin to ask him more about 
the car; reason for sale, type of journeys that it has been used for, 
marital status. Become friendly with him, you never know how much you 
could save.
	
	With the keys clutched firmly in your hands open the car and 
start snooping. Check the interior. Is it free of rips, tears and 
cigarette burns? Check the mileometer. Is it similar to the mileage that 
you were told? Do all the digits line up? Uneven digits could mean that 
the car has done more miles than you realise. Check the boot. Clean and 
tidy? Is the spare wheel still there, is the tyre tread any good? Is 
there a jack, is the wheel brace free from blood? Now check under the 
bonnet. Is the engine free from oil? Are there any tell tale oil drips on
the floor? Is the engine cold? A warm engine usually means that the 
seller has taken the car out for a spin prior to you visiting. Ask
yourself why. Perhaps it has a problem starting when it is cold. Once 
you have given the car a basic once over, start the engine. Get your mate
to stand behind the car to check for any burning oil on start up. Burning
oil is usually a blue white colour. On start up, if your mate disappears 
in a cloud of smoke you could have potential engine troubles. Make your
excuses and leave. 

	Hopefully the car started first time. You should listen out for 
ticks and knocks coming from the engine. A lot of engines rattle when 
first started, but within a few seconds they should be quiet. 

	Time for a test drive. Always make sure that you have at least 
third party insurance cover and never let the seller drive the car for 
you. What would they be trying to hide? Remember, you are not Damon Hill,
so it would be a good idea not to push other road users out of the way. 
You are driving someone else's car, so some respect is needed, that means
keeping your eyes on the road and not on the legs of the seller's 
girlfriend. When driving the car, how does the steering feel? It should 
be smooth, balanced and straight. If it has a tendancey to pull to either
side it could just be low tyre pressures or something more sinister. The
suspension may have gone due to ferrying around his extremely large
mother.

	Testing the brakes should be done on a straight empty road. It
isn't a good idea to hurtle up to a roundabout, only to find out that
the only way the car stops is by using the vehicle in front of you as a 
buffer. Gently apply the brakes at first, making sure that they are 
evenly balanced. Gradually increase pressure until the car stops. If the 
car slows gently and straight, then the brakes should be working okay. If
you find yourself tightly pulling against the steering wheel to increase 
you foot pressure, get out and walk, it will be safer. 

	You can test both the handbrake and clutch at the same time. Pull
over at the side of the road and pull on the handbrake. Engage gear and 
try to pull away. If the engine stalls, chances are that the clutch and 
handbrake are in good working order. Don't worry about the burning smell,
that is the clutch and there is no need to call the fire brigade.

	When you return back to the seller's house, leave the engine
running. If the engine ticks over smoothly then it is probably in a good
state of tune. Erratic idling suggests the engine needs at least a good 
tune up. Have another look around the engine bay and check for any fresh
oil, hissing or blowing. There shouldn't be any. Check the exhaust for
leaks. This can be easily done by placing your hand over the tail pipe
with the engine running. Do it gently. If you place your hand too hard
over it you could blow a hole in it, or worse, you could burn your hand.

	At this stage you should have a very good idea as to wether the 
car is suitable for you. If it is you can finish off with a few final 
checks. Do all doors open and shut correctly and with ease? Do all 
windows unwind smoothly and quietly? Do the locks work, and do all doors
use the same key? Different keys suggest that some low life has attempted
a break in to this vehicle, or worse, the low life is trying to sell you
his stolen car. Next check the suspension. This can be easily done by
bouncing each corner of the car hard a few times and letting go. The 
suspension should come to rest within one and a half bounces. If it 
continues to bounce like a jogger's bottom, the suspension is shot.

	The bodywork should be inspected for signs of dents and dodgey
repairs. Odd paint scratches and stone chips are to be expected on most
cars but large amounts of rust aren't. Check the bottoms of doors, around
the sills, wings and floorpan. Get down on the floor and check the 
underside of the car for signs of damage. Also make sure that the gearbox
and differential are free from oil leaks. To check to see that the car's
chassis is straight, stand a slight distance behind the car and look
to see if the front and rear wheels line up. If they don't, Mr 'Boy Racer
want to be' may have wrapped this car around a tree. 

	Now check the state of the wheels and tyres. Are they scuff
free? Is the tread pattern evenly worn? Tyre problems could be related
to all sorts of wear and tear on suspension and suspension mounts,
although it could be down to every day use by a woman driver.

	If you are still happy with the car, ask the seller to let you
have a look at all the documents, including service history. Does the 
address on the log book match the address of the seller? Do the VIN and 
engine numbers match? Is the service history up to date? If all these 
answers are in your favour, chances are you have found yourself an 
honest car.

	If you are still unsure, walk away. You can always return at
a later date and have another look at the car, or phone back later with
an offer.

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Making an offer.

	Once you have decided to buy the car, make an offer. Don't feel
you have to pay the asking price. See the seller as your enemy, who you
intend to take out in a battle of willpower. Make the offer reasonable.
If you have any niggley feelings about the car, let the seller know.
Perhaps the mileage is a little high for its age, or maybe it needs a
two new tyres. Don't become aggressive. Threatening the seller with a 
sledgehammer will surely turn him against you. Don't make a silly offer
either. Undercutting the asking price by one thousand pounds is asking
for a thumping. The seller will also haggle with you, so be prepared to 
meet him halfway and the car should become yours.

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	And that is how to buy a second hand car!