The Life and Times of Mr. Big Orange

(Abridged)

It all began years ago, when Mr. Big Orange was still just a normal sized piece of citrus vegetation. He was a normal orange, until one unfortunate day, a HUGE wind swept "Frank" as he was often called back home, out of his usual foliage and into a very unfamiliar place. He was found by a very, very, bad man...the DEVIL!! Good ol' Diablo was just about ready to ingest his fruit for the day when "Frank" used his only line of defense....citric acid!!! "Frank" hit a bulls-eye with his acidic juices which allowed him but a few moments to escape. At about that time another storm hit, but this time it was to "Frank's" advantage! The devil started chasing "Frank" on foot, but to his dismay, he forgot to put his Reebok's on that morning. He then lost his footing and careened down a canyon to the pits of insanity . To make sure that the Devil was gone, "Frank" climbed up on an oddly placed metal pole to get a scenic view. The electrical force in which he was struck would have "juiced" the average fruit...but then again, "Frank" was never considered "average". From that day forward "Frank" ceased to exist, but in his place stood the largest fruit known to man...

Mr. Big orange!!