A Rhesus Monkey!
You are found throughout India and Nepal, and held sacred by the Hindus. You have a cranky temperament, a stoutly built body, a short tail, saggy skin, and a gigantic red arse. Face it buddy, you're butt ugly. Even the other monkeys think you're ugly. But- there is hope for you yet! Have you considered joining my team of highly skilled monkey butlers? You'll receive a comical miniature tuxedo, a dental plan, and all the bananas you can eat. (But first, you'll have to quit that faeces throwing habit.) Now go make me a martini!
Totally wrong? Go back, read the question carefully, and try again!