A History
Of the
Subway
Darwins
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The Darwins started out
as single-cell bacteria living in primordial ooze. We bought a guitar, but it was difficult to play until we
evolved into creatures with cilia. Eventually,
we crawled out onto dry land, and then our sound really improved—who knew
that singers & horn players needed air?
A number of species died out when the meteor struck, but the strong
ones survived. Unfortunately, we had
no rhythm whatsoever until the time of Ancient Greece, when Pythagoras &
friends taught us how to count to three (nowadays we occasionally even count
to four, although we try not to overexert ourselves). In time, the printing press was invented,
and we began writing songs. Then came the subway. All those people from different
neighborhoods & different cultures, all packed into the same cramped
space every day to be whisked off to new destinations where they just seem to
materialize up on the sidewalk again.
Not everyone survives all that cramming of cultures. The hipsters among us thrive on it. Then they mutate and speed off to
someplace new again. Someday, this page might actually contain some factual
information about our history. Try
checking it again later this year.
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This page last updated 7/2/01.