Assertive Behavior

Being assertive is standing up for yourself. It is learning to put yourself first and learning to express your feelings and opinions. It is learning to say "NO." Being assertive is making a statement about how you feel about a situation or subject. By being assertive you stand less of a chance of being victimized, maniputlated, made to feel guilty and used. Some of use feel that by being assertive, people will see us as selfish, unkind, and inconsiderate. We are afraid of disapproval, which would bring about self-hate.

Being assertive is healthy. Being abused and used is unhealthy. We wouldn't want to do this to anyone else, so why let someone walk all over you!!!! You must learn to turn the buttons off. You must recognize your weaknesses and learn how to overcome them. If people take advantage of you, it is because you let them. You can learn how to stop them. This isn't being selfish. It is simply taking care of you...In the long run, your attitude will be better, you will feel better about yourself, and you will be there for someone when you want to be-not out of guilt feelings. Being assertive means you value yourself as a person. It means your time and your emotional comfort are important to you. You will fight for yourself!!

Here are some examples. Here you can learn how be more assertive.

1. WRONG--When someone close to you needs a favor, it is selfish of you to put your own needs first. RIGHT--You should take more care of yourself first, if possible, so you will feel more like giving to others.

2. WRONG--You should try hard to never make a mistake. RIGHT--No one is perfect. Mistakes are a part of life. Accept them and go on. Try to learn from them.

3. WRONG--You shouldn't protest if you feel you have been treated unfairly. Others will think poorly of you. RIGHT--You should stand up for yourself if you think you are being taken advantage of. If you don't, who will?

Those were just a few examples, but I think you get the point. Learn to say "NO" It will make you a better person and you will learn to stand up for yourself. This is probably my weakness. I never wanted to let anyone down, but now, I come first. I hope this works for you.

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