Marge Simpson, the Quiet One


Brain: We've got a winning hand. We can take the rest of the tricks.
More Brain: Ooh, better be careful, the point of playing is to make friends.
More Brain: Still there's nothing more popular than a gracious winner.
More Brain: Don't ask me, I'm just hair. Your head stopped 18 inches ago.


I REALLY DO THINK YOU SHOULD READ THE WHOLE PAGE, BUT, FINE, GO AHEAD AND SKIP TO THE QUIZ


Age:34

Shoe Size:13AA

Famous for: Marshmallow Squares

Things Occasionally Found in Her Hair: Blue Dye #56, Large Sums of Money, Cats, Puppies, Roosters, Maggie, pacifiers


Jobs: PTA Substitute Elementary School Teacher, Worker at Nuclear Power Plant, Carhop Waitress, Police Officer, Pretzel Vender, Listen Lady, Professional Gambler

Criminal Record: Wanton Destruction of Precious Antique Cans, Shoplifter, Police Evader, Wreckless Endangerment


Quirks: Uses Beach Umbrella during intimate relations, Cooks with less than 8 spices, has webbed feet, sleeps naked often, arroused by an elbow nibbling

Turn-ons: Having her elbow nibbled, Homer's "Mr. Plow" Jacket

Admirers: Bowling Pro Jacques, Artie Ziff, Mr. Burns, Moe, Flash Baylor of the Springfield Isotopes, Homer who can offer nothing but complete and utter dependance



A Brad Goodman Special


Yeah, you think Marge is so quiet, well let's just see if you remember some of her zanier schemes. Mail answers to sacrilicious1@oocities.com (only 3 of your many answers are allowed to be posted, but give them all a try!).

Under strict penal code, how much must Marge pay in compensation for the wanton destruction of precious, antique cans (excluding punative damages and mental anguish)?-

What is the one thing decent folk (or the good waffles) do?-stick together-solved by Ross Bovenkerk

Up by the old Springfield sign, Homer has been seen to bash what with a metal pipe to impress Marge?-

In the search of a way to stop the Springfield monorail, Marge travels to North Haverbrook. What other two cities (besides Springfield) does Lyle Lanley claim to have "put on the map" by selling them monorails?-

On Marge's venture in the country club, what might be said to be out of style?-

When Lurleen Lumpkin is recording in the studio, what noise does Marge make that forces them to cut off recording?-

While working at the power plant, Marge sends her paper work in a barrel through the shoot that leads eventually to where?-to a beaver dam-solved by Rebecca Hubbard

In the chasm which Marge and Ruth narrowly avoid driving into at the end of the high speed chase, the cop car lands in solid waste. What did the 4th spot Homer kisses used to be?-pizza-solved by Ross Bovenkerk

In rounding up Bart the shop lifter, Marge reveals that she spends how many hours a day in the house?-

In the fantasy hotel, Homer and Marge's exotic fantasy is held in the utility room. What are their two fantasy occupations? (Don't mind me folks, just getting the old wet dry vac.)-



move along to a terrible shoplifter
move along to a man who has had his head in an elephant, a hippo, and a giant sloth
move along to ex-Little Miss Springfield
move along to a man living in the world of death
move along to the arch enemy of that baby with the one eye brow
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