My name is Mr. Humphrey and I will destroy you!


since 8/24/00

Hello and welcome to my page of happiness. NOW YOU DIE!!! I am Mr. Humphrey and I have a plan for global domination so utterly complex that your feeble human mind cannot even begin to comprehend it!! MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....

This is Barry. He will be the last to die when I take over the world. He is the coolest human I know because he has a Phish T-Shirt. Sometimes I will try to describe my plan of ruling the Earth to him, but then he just laughs at my oversized scrotum. I hate him. He is an easy source of food and has served me well, so he stays. He will rule when I die if I don't kill the little bastard first.

This is my current mode of transportation. I call it the Love Tractor, because IT CAN KILL YOU 87 DIFFERENT WAYS!!! MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!


This is the rest of the Love Tractor: the Love Trailer. I call it that because it is this that i will use to carry the bodies!!! DEAD BODIES!! DEAD HUMAN BODIES!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Here you see what will fuel my revolution: Jones Grape Soda! It's the only Canadian import worth mentioning on this page, besides The Kids in the Hall. I'll mention them too: The Kids in the Hall. Jones is the only grape soda that will satisfy my thirst for HUMAN DESTRUCTION! This particular label shows one of my victims; a sweet little girl that picked me up by my tail! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SHE IS NOT BREATHING!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Here you see my first bomb. I made it when i was four weeks old, and it killed 400,000,000 PEOPLE! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Actually it was more like 6.
This is Zeke the Ferret. Zeke will rule at my right hand when I have control over Earth. Zeke will destroy you too.


Do not forget what I told you here. Come to me, serve me, and I will spare you. As of 8/23/00 I live with Barry Burton. I changed his CompuServe password so that I now recieve all of his email! MUAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!

MAIL ME AND BEG FOR SALVATION!

PEOPLE WHO SHALL BE SPARED SO FAR
  • Bob Dole
  • Jim Landry
  • Holly Leonhard
  • Mike
  • Jenkia
  • Katie
  • Kelley
  • Captain Underpants
  • Pieter de Jong
  • Piecraft the Terrible
  • Pooper
  • Raffi
  • Mr. T
  •      		PEOPLE TO BE DESTROYED IN THE NEAR FUTURE
  • Ben Vogelgesang
  • Crystal
  • Snowball the cat
  • Matt (Australians can kiss my ass.)
  • Beth the Backwoods Stripper
  • The dickholes at worst of the web, and all the other dickholes they brought to this page
  • Matt Moore
  • the Ghost Cat
  • Corpse G. Grinder (what the hell kind of fag name is that?)
  • Christian Shaw
  • Da Great White Dolemite
  • NSYNCDUDEPRETTY699
  • Wldstrm
  • Orkin
  • Gerald Ford
  • Robert Bird and his homo bunny
  • Billy Choad
  • Molly (Moo Moo)
  • You
    •      		PEOPLE ACCEPTED INTO MY COUNCIL OF DOOM






    Click here to see the Council of Doom

    If you feel that you should be spared, well, you shouldn't. You know why? Because you're an ass, that's why. But if you want to try to convince me anyway, go to my message board by clicking here.


    View My Guestbook
    Sign My Guestbook

    POST ON MY MESSAGE BOARD! NOW NOW NOW!!

    AND FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT SAY THIS SITE SUCKS, YOU ARE WRONG!


    9/20/00

    I AM A WINNER!!
    THIS IS WHY EVERYONE THAT SIGNED MY GUESTBOOK HATES ME!!
    THEY WILL DIE!!!!!


    THESE PEOPLE HAVE EARNED MY APPROVAL

    SEE OUR FAMILY AND MERCY WILL BE YOURS ON THE EVE OF THE APOCOLYPTIC REVOLUTION OF EARTH!

    ©2000 Mr. Humphrey's Page of Happiness

    Well, no, there is no real copyright on this page. But I did make all the pictures and everything here myself except for the counter, which was kindly bestowed on me by the oh so very generous folk at mycomputer.com. Linking this page on your page will surely earn you a place in my Council of Doom. Use this and mail me after you link me.