Revenge is Sweet
by Remma (morennab@yahoo.co.uk)
Daniel eyed his mutinous teammates with a scowl. This wouldn't do at all. Everything was planned, down to the last detail. All that was left was to convince his friends that they really had no option...they had to do it. "You have no option, you have to do it."
"We don't. Why do we?"
"Because."
"Great reason, Daniel."
Daniel sniffed scornfully, then concentrated on staring down his unfortunate comrades, managing to make them all feel extremely mean and guilty, in spite of the fact they weren't. Teal'c held his own for the longest, but even his inscrutability was no match for a determined Daniel Jackson, and eventually he, too, had to look away.
"So, then, you'll all come, right?"
"But Daniel, I have so much work to catch up on. The modifications for the naquada reactor are taking way longer than I expected, and..."
"And I have to go fishing. Teal'c was coming with me."
"On consideration, I believe it is fitting to assist a friend in his hour of need. DanielJackson, I shall be happy to accompany you."
"Thank-you Teal'c. Sam? Jack?"
"Dammit, Daniel, why do you need all of us. Surely Teal'c is enough."
"Teal'c is good, all of you is better. These people are your typical wholesome, American, middle-class, uptight, condescending, repressed, conservative boneheads. They're just the sort of people to be impressed by high ranking military officers. You have to come."
"You should take the General, then."
"He's busy, so you and Sam will have to do. He is going to call though...oh, that reminds me, Jack, don't forget to keep your cell phone charged and handy."
"What? Why would General Hammond be calling you on my phone?"
"Well, there's no point him calling me on my phone, is there? How would anyone know who he is? Be sure and announce him loudly enough for people to hear when you pass the call to me."
"Oh, for crying out loud."
"Shame Jacob wasn't available, he'd have been a great addition to the group."
"Daniel, you asked my father?"
"A-ha, but he had some Goa'uld or other to infiltrate, so he couldn't make it. Pity, he'd be pretty impressive."
"Hey, what about me...I'm impressive."
"Yes, but as you pointed out, you're just a colonel, he's a general."
"I'd be a general too, if it wasn't for you."
"Oh, really, and why would that be?"
"I was a general in those other realities, when you weren't around, so it has to be your fault."
"Jack, you were dead in those realities."
"Yeah, but I was a dead general."
"So, you're saying you'd rather be a dead general, than a live colonel?"
"Well, when you put it like that..."
"How else is there to put it? You should get down on your arthritic old knees every day, and thank god for me."
"I'll pass. And if I'm that pathetic, I'm surprised you want me along this weekend."
"Quit sulking, Jack. You know perfectly well I don't think that. And you'll look superb in your dress blues."
"You want me to wear dress blues?"
"Absolutely. Sam too. And sunglasses. You guys will be so intimidating."
"DanielJackson, I regret that I do not posses dress blues with which to intimidate the wedding guests."
"That's okay, Teal'c. You don't need them."
There was a definite hint of smugness in the smile that graced Teal'c's normally impassive features. And could that possibly be a smirk he aimed at his C.O.? Surely not.
"Daniel, question. If these folks are such a bust, why are you so set on impressing them?"
"Impressing them isn't the point, per se, Jack. I basically want to screw with their heads, and ruin the day for all of them. They'll just hate me showing up with you guys."
"Geez, can you ever hold a grudge. What the hell did they do to you?"
"Made me feel inadequate, useless, pathetic, an all 'round geek, and generally made my life a total misery for years and years. And what's worse, they didn't even hate me, they just did it because they could, and I was an easy target."
"Oh, Daniel, I'm so sorry, but wouldn't it be better to just forget about them and move on?" Sam sympathetically stroked Daniel's arm, shaking her head sadly.
"No." Daniel was adamant. "I want them to suffer."
"DanielJackson, if any of these individuals injured you, you need only point them out. I will gladly harm them. Even the females."
"I'm with you there, big guy. I'm up for a little payback."
"Thanks, guys, but my way is better. See, deep down they've gotta know that nothing will ever be as good for them as it was in school. The glory days are over, the day of the geek is at hand. I could just show up looking prosperous and successful, but they'd be expecting that. Arriving with you will make them feel inadequate. I'll be beating them in the one area where they were sure of their superiority. They'll have no clue what to make of you."
"Speaking of which, how are you going to explain us?"
"I'm not, Jack. That's the beauty of my plan. We arrive, congratulate the bride, say nothing, look superior, then leave. It's perfect." Daniel chuckled gleefully at the deviousness of his scheme.
"Daniel, what about Teal'c?"
"What about him, Sam?"
"The emblem? Won't people wonder about it?"
"I don't see why. I mean, seriously, do you really think that anyone's first reaction on seeing Teal'c's tattoo is; 'oh look at that emblem. He must be an alien with a parasitic snake living in his belly.' I think not. Mostly, they just think he has a really cool tattoo. And if any one asks, we can tell them he wrestles. No problem."
"But..."
"No, no more excuses. I've booked the flights. We're going, and that's that. Right?"
"Okay, Daniel, if that's what you really want."
"I will attend, DanielJackson."
"Yesureyoubetcha. Look forward to seeing you freak out the 'burbs."
"Good. I have to go pack, so I'll see you all at the airport at nine tomorrow."
"Off to dig out your fuzzy jammies, Danny?"
"Jammies? Good lord, no. I'm a skin man...all the way."
***The End***
