name

nommer

nombre

namae

perceptions

 trivia

 tongue in cheek

   joel gutierrez 

   jag joe jose 

   peping ping

   dude

• ethnically i am classified as a pacific islander. a confusing mix of polynesian  indo-malayan chinese spanish influences. aka pilipino. or filipino. confused?

• my parents named me jose. never called me by that, but called me peping. in college i went by my initials, jag...when i became a naturalized citizen i adopted the name joel cuz i got tired of hearing  "no way jose!..."

• didn't take long after that, when i heard  "go to hell joel!..". hey--it was easier to change my approach instead of my name. still, asians call me joe. (something about the 'el' sound). 

• changing my name was a watershed event. a quick way for me to know who knew me since childhood. after meeting so many people all over, it helps. believe me. 

• i am taller than the average person. which means i'm around 6 feet tall when wearing high-heeled boots. i could stand to put on a little more bulk while maintaining my weight at 185 lbs.

• i think of myself as low-key and avoids the spotlight. a jack-of-all-traits, master of none.

• i am a Cancer. i don't believe in astrological signs. i only said it for the benefit of those who do. more for effect.

• i am stubborn. i am told. therefore i think. 

• i am 33% female. which makes me that much more stubborn.  i think. nobody has to tell me that.

• i am a natural born leader. but most of the time i just like to follow someone else's lead. low-key, remember?

• i hate shopping. except when it's going to fry's electronics or best buy. even then i don't like their salespeople.

•  i like digital toys. see above.

• some people call me "spoiled."

• i simply call them "dick". 

• i have a  b.s. in physics. and a mba. this means i could find my way in a bundle of shit and come out mr bullshit artist. i'm an expert in observing atomic particles banging each other in quantum orgy.

• i am random. with varying patterns of predictability. that's a metaphysical statement related to physics & entropy

• i also studied philosophy for two years with the Jesuits. which means i can  express the phenomenological meaning  of being in  mathematical terms. 

• usually though, it just means if i have a paragraph of information, i can talk about it for at least 15 minutes.

• i am 40% funny-outgoing-charming party person 40% computer-geek-hermit, and 20% sexaholic. the ratio changes depending on the tide.

• i am 50% anal retentive, 50% lazy. 
  depending on the day.

• if i could be a super hero i would prefer to have either:
  the ability to be invisible 
  the ability to fly 
  the ability to freeze all time as we know it and walk around

• i have to shower everyday. 

• i love women. i love how they smell. and their eyes. and breasts and....

• i don't love feminists. okay, I hate feminists. well, just some of them. 

• i don't love typical men either. 

• i wear silk boxers if applicable. 
  I love silk. 
  I hate briefs. 
  I also hate boxer briefs. 
  I sometimes go "commando" on purpose. 
  sometimes I simply forget to wear underwear. 

• i tend to like anything that smells good.  like candles. and women. and food. i am hungry. did i already say women?

• I like to say that things are "tight." they say that it's a "Freudian slip".

• i like Cucumber-Melon soap. they say that it's a "Freudian slip".

• my cologne is armani. my backup cologne is davidoff. i like the color purple. the color. and the movie, too.

• i live in dread of finding hair sprouting from my ears.

• i never thought i'd be using a nose hair clipper. but if you have pulled some nose hairs, man, you'd know what i mean.

• Shut up.
  

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